No Regrets AU Part I

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: Petra's mind made connections at lightning speed. "So, it's true then. We're getting new members. From the Underground City."

"You really think it's true? Squad Leader Erwin really wants to let some Underground thugs into the Corps?"

"Can you believe it?"

"What is he thinking?"

"Nah, it's gotta be bogus rumors."

It was a warm sunny day and the soldiers of the Survey Corps gossiped in the mess hall. News had gotten around that Erwin Smith had taken a few Scouts, including their best soldier Mike Zacharius, to the subterranean city below the capital and returned with three derelicts in tow.

"Fucking great. Like it's not hard enough as it is."

"Yeah, and now we're letting a bunch of criminals in."

"Commander Shadis will tell him no."

"But Squad Leader Erwin is really pushing for it and he's got the commander's respect."

The whispers unwittingly made their way to Petra ears, walking with a tray in hands to join her friends at one of the tables near the front of the large room. She dropped down next to a young woman with blonde hair in a high ponytail and brown eyes that were wide and curious.

"Petra." Ann rounded on her immediately. "Did you hear?"

"Erwin's lost his mind." Sairam, a black-haired young man sitting across from them, glared. His dark eyes flashed with anger.

"Show some respect," Petra chided. "He outranks you."

Sairam ignored her. "Is it true? Your squad leader went with him to that shithole in Sina and brought back criminals with them to join us?"

"Did Simone say anything?" Ann inquired. "She's your bunkmate, right?"

"Sorry." Petra shrugged. "I haven't seen her or Squad Leader Mike yet."

Sairam made another snide remark and Ann began arguing with him, leaving Petra to her own thoughts. Are they really recruiting civilians with no military training? What were they thinking? Those three would end up as Titan food. No. I should have more faith in them. Mike had nothing but high praise for Erwin and having met the man herself, she found his intelligence and determination nothing short of awe-inspiring.

In the evening when she returned to the women's barracks, her squadmate was at her bunk. "Hey, Simone, welcome back," Petra greeted her with a smile.

Simone had a few years and a few inches on her. Her shoulder-length brown hair was parted in two and kept in low pigtails. "Hi, Petra," she said.

Petra's mind made connections at lightning speed. "It's true then. We're getting new members. From the Underground City."

Unlike with the Garrison, there were plenty of empty bunks in their branch of the military thanks to their small numbers. Quite a few barracks had lay bare and for so long that soldiers had made up horror stories about certain parts of those buildings. Despite the vast quantity of empty space, soldiers were still stuffed together—discipline, they called it—rather than spread throughout the buildings.

Petra shared this room with seven other women, leaving four beds free. One of those free beds was being readied by her squadmate. Not that there was much to do to prepare for a new arrival. The barracks were all the same: brown brick walls, lockers to hold personal items and clothes, and wooden frames supporting beds with a mattress.

Simone had placed a standard, military issue blanket at the foot of the bed and a pillow at the head. She seemed to debate her answer before reaching a conclusion. "Yes, we're getting recruits," she said. "Two men and a girl have joined."

"Can you tell me what they're like?" Petra asked. She was curious to know how civilians had managed to get their hands on military equipment—though she had a good idea how and it involved the MP, greedy merchants, and money being exchanged under the table—but she was even more interested in how the three learned it well enough for Erwin to declare them competent enough to join.

Before Simone could reply, their heads snapped toward the door, hearing female voices heading in their direction. The women began pouring in, moving to their bunks.

"They'll make the announcement tomorrow. I'll tell you after." Simone yawned and climbed up to the bed above Petra's. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

A few women engaged Petra in conversation before it was curfew and the voices died down. None of the other women had noticed the blanket on the normally vacant spot.

It suddenly occurred to Petra that this newcomer would be alone, by herself. The bunks along the left and right walls were occupied. Only the ones directly across from the door were unavailable so that was where the newest recruit would be. She would be sleeping with the bunk next to and the ones above her empty.

As if she won't feel out of place enough already, she won't have anyone near her to talk to, Petra thought. What had Simone said? Two men and a girl. If there had been another female member in their group it might not have been so bad.

Petra resolved not to snub the girl or unnecessarily make her feel like any more of an outsider than she already would. They can't be that bad. The way a few of the other Scouts talked about the Underground recruits was like the three were scum under their boots. Squad Leader Erwin wouldn't bring hardened killers to the Corps. As much as she wanted to deny she wasn't caught up in the situation like everyone else, Petra also wanted to know more about them like the rest of the Scouts.

Sometimes Petra really hated being short.

Around her, the soldiers stood with hands behind their backs, waiting for Commander Shadis up on the stage. Petra, standing behind Mike, could not see anything. In her rush to fall in line, she had forgotten to take her usual place toward the back so she could see what was going on in the front. A swift glance around confirmed soldiers were still making their way over to the area in front of the stage.

Shadis was approaching the steps on the side of the stage. Petra quickly switched spots with someone further down the line, standing at attention before Keith spoke.

"Attention, all! From this day on, these three will be fighting alongside you all!"

Only the light-haired man was saluting. The red-haired girl had one hand on her hip, smirking. And between them stood a short man with his arms crossed over his chest, looking mildly irritated.

So unprofessional, Petra thought disapprovingly. Although they were civilians so it was to be expected.

"Introduce yourselves!"

For a second, Petra thought they would snub the commander and refuse, but the short one spoke up. "The name's Levi."

Jeez. She could understand why some were so reluctant about having the trio join. They did not act like soldiers at all. Forget discipline, they didn't even seem to have any proper manners.

"Levi," Keith began, "the first thing you'll need is some goddam discipline! Next!"

The girl stepped forward confidently, pointing a thumb to herself. "I'm Isabel Magnolia. Nice to meet ya!"

The last one bumped his right fist over his chest in a casual salute. "My name is Farlan Church!"

Whispers picked up around Petra.

"Are we really letting them in?"

"This is why we go through three years of training."

"They're going to end up as Titan bait."

"Flagon, these three will be assigned to your squad," Keith commanded. "Look after them."

Sairam's gonna be pissed. Petra thought, wincing. He was on Flagon's squad. Petra knew Flagon was one of the more outspoken ones against the Underground trio joining. And his next words confirmed as much.

"M-My squad, sir?"

"Are you dissatisfied?"

"N-No... But, shouldn't Erwin..."

"Erwin is tasked with the soldiers' formation. The new recruits will be your responsibility. Is that understood?" Keith asked.

"Yes, sir. Understood!"

Glad I'm not on their squad. Petra thought, watching Levi stare down at where Flagon probably stood.

On her way toward the women's barracks in the evening, Petra saw the red-haired girl, Isabel, staring uncertainly. Probably lost. Petra wondered why her squad leader hadn't shown her which building she was supposed to be in. "Hello," she said, approaching the girl. "Can I help you?"

Isabel gave her a startled look. "Er, I'm looking for the women's barracks."

"You've got the right building."

"The asshole, I mean, my squad leader didn't mention which room I was in, so."

"I'm pretty sure it's the one I'm in," Petra said. "Follow me." Unable to hide her look of relief, Isabel followed her. "Did Squad Leader Flagon forget to tell you which room you were supposed to be in?" It didn't sound like him. From what she knew about him, he was usually on top of things.

"Nah, my big bro pissed him off and he left. But he was being a jerk first! Just cause we're from the Underground doesn't mean we like to live in a dump. Big bro's a huge clean-freak!"

"One of them is your brother?" Petra asked. The three didn't look related.

"That's just what I call Levi cause he's like a big brother to me."

"I see. Well, this is it." Petra opened the door and led Isabel to her bunk. "This is you."

"Thanks! I—"

"Hey, Petra," one of the women called out. "Can I ask you a question? I'm kinda having trouble with this one maneuver."

"Sure. Excuse me," she said to Isabel and wandered over to the right side of the room.

Isabel cheered, riding the horse around while Simone watched in amazement, asking if it was really the girl's first time.

Petra smiled at the scene, passing them by. She came to a stop behind Hange and Moblit. They were looking into the trees, amazed, and she followed their gazes.

And suddenly she could understand why Erwin had insisted on recruiting the three.

If Farlan and Isabel were half as good as Levi they would make excellent Titan-slayers, she thought, awed by his skills. When Levi landed, she didn't miss the glare he shot his squad leader, which Flagon frowned at before walking away. Their relationship clearly hadn't thawed yet.

"That was some excellent maneuvering," Moblit said to Levi. "He beat your record, Petra."

Petra laughed, feeling embarrassed when they all turned to her, including Levi, who seemed to be sizing her up. "It's not that impressive. Beating my record," she quickly clarified so he wouldn't think she was looking down on him. "My squad leader is the impressive one."

Hange took it upon herself to explain to Levi. "Mike is our best soldier. And his squad is the most skilled, which includes Petra here." She threw her arm around Petra's shoulders. "Nanaba has more experience so she's the second best but I'm sure Petra will surpass her given some time."

Her words made Petra blush. "I still have a lot to learn."

"Don't be so modest. Hey!" Hange grinned. "I have an idea, Levi. How about a race between you and Petra?"

"No," Levi rejected immediately, walking away.

"Aw, don't leave! I need you for the experiment. Levi, come back! He's no fun." Hange pouted when he ignored her and kept walking.

"He's so talented." Petra's eyes followed Levi as he left. "I've never seen anyone move like that. Not even Squad Leader Mike. He moves so powerfully but gracefully."

"Petra," Hange said, a twinkle in her eyes and a slyness to her tone. "Do I detect admiration in your voice?"

"I think he's amazing," she replied, too caught up in imagining the way Levi had moved to pick up on the other meaning behind Hange's words. "He has excellent form."

Petra almost felt self-conscious at the glances people kept shooting her. Was there something in her hair or on her face? She confirmed her clothes were stain-free and clean. So why did the other soldiers keep giving her those looks of confusion or disappointment or interest? Strange, she thought, quickening her pace to get to the mess hall and ask her friends.

"Hey, Petra, wait!" Isabel caught up to her in the middle of the hallway.

"Yes?"

"Go to the stables right now! Big bro's waiting for you." Isabel smiled widely, giving her a thumbs-up and a wink. "You're nice to me so I hope it works out!"

"Huh?"

"Good luck!"

What was that about? Petra wondered, puzzled.

At the stables, she found Levi waiting, looking vaguely uncomfortable. His arms were crossed over his chest, shoulders raised slightly, expression tight instead of apathetic as usual. For the first time since she had known him, which was only a couple of weeks, he was almost giving off a vibe that said he was out of his comfort zone.

"Petra," Levi said evenly.

"Levi, hi."

No more words were exchanged.

She didn't understand why he would ask Isabel to send her to the stables to meet him, then not even say a word to her. Before the situation could go from kind of weird to downright unbearable, with neither talking and both staring stupidly at each other, she cleared her throat. "Isabel told me to come here," she said to prompt him.

"Yes," Levi said in a measured tone. He straightened. "Let's get this over with. I'm shit at this romance crap so I—"

"Oh!" Petra gasped, eyes widening. "That's what this is about! You like me."

"What?" Levi's face turned incredulous. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Isn't that why Isabel sent me here?" Petra asked. "I'm not sure why you didn't just speak to me in the mess hall or in the courtyard." Or maybe he felt shy and she needed to shut up and let him say what he needed to say. "So, um, did you want to say something?"

"I think you're misunderstanding the situation here. I'm not interested in you, romantically or otherwise. Isabel told me you liked me and insisted I at least hear you out and be nice about rejecting you because you're good to her. It's only because she kept badgering that I agreed."

"She thinks I like you?" Petra said, baffled why the girl would think that. "What gave her that idea?"

"Four-Eyes."

Heat rushed into her cheeks and she felt the urge to scream, mortified. "Why would she think that?"

"Don't look at me. She swore you kept fawning over me. And my body." Maybe she was mistaken, but Levi appeared almost amused now.

"That's not what I meant! I was talking about your in terms of maneuvering," Petra rushed out, wanting to hunt Hange down and shake her and yell at her. "This is so humiliating!"

The spark of amusement in his gray eyes died. "Sorry you have to suffer the embarrassment of such rumors about you and Underground scum like me," Levi said, sneering.

"No, now you're misunderstanding. It's embarrassing to imagine that everyone thought I had a crush on someone and gossiped about it while I remained utterly clueless. The place you're from is irrelevant."

Levi stared at her with a disinterested expression, only humming noncommittally.

She had a feeling the conversation was over. "Well," she said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go murder a certain someone and find a place to stash the body."

Petra waited patiently atop her horse for the expedition to begin. She noticed Levi waiting silently with his squad, only Isabel and Farlan talking. Would they survive their first expedition? They were skilled, no doubt about that. Levi especially was an incredibly talented fighter. Already the three could compete with many veteran Scouts. But there was no guarantee. Veterans died, too. Just not as often as rookies.

She couldn't help but smile at the looks on their faces when they first left Wall Maria. The trio was even more in awe of everything than most rookies usually were. Having grown up in the Underground City, she imagined the world so much more bigger, more beautiful, and more hopeful than it did compared to those who lived aboveground.

Her squad began to move apart from the main host and she mentally wished them luck.

While Petra hadn't expected everything to go well—it was an expedition beyond the Walls and they rarely went perfectly according to plan—she hadn't expected the weather to turn so nasty and so quickly, too.

There was no way they could complete the mission in such horrid weather conditions. They had to turn back or risk losing soldiers to Titans hidden in the thick mist. There was also the risk of soldiers becoming injured due to the slippery, muddy ground causing horses to slip.

Petra didn't know how long they kept riding through the unrelenting downpour, anxious about the potential monsters hiding behind the curtain of mist around her squad.

A messenger eventually found them, yelling something to Mike she couldn't hear. She felt relieved when he relayed Commander Shadis's orders. As they prepared to retreat, Petra could only hope the casualties weren't too bad.

Mike and Simone separated, leaving Nanaba in charge. Petra just tried not to let the chattering of her teeth get too loud, convinced the others could hear it.

What felt like hours but likely wasn't more than fifteen minutes later, the sky finally began to clear up. She had never been happier to see the sun, to feel its warmth on her cold, damp face.

Unsurprisingly, the expedition had gone nowhere and they were on their way home without having accomplished anything.

Most of the soldiers usually left for home for a few days after an expedition. It was their reward. Normally, she was one of them. But this time she was going to hold off on that until tomorrow, so she could take a long hot shower and go straight to bed. Her father was wonderful but he'd want to spend as much time as he could with her, which meant she wouldn't get any time for herself and just rest. All she'd want to was to relax and rewind without him hovering over her.

Only when the Corps reached Wall Maria's gate did she realize Levi was riding by himself. His friends, his entire squad, in fact, were nowhere in sight. She couldn't spot that familiar red hair among the occupants of the cart carrying the injured soldiers. Realization hit her. Oh no... She felt her heart go out to Levi, recalling the expressions the three had been sporting earlier. Awe, happiness, amazement, freedom.

As predicted, most of the soldiers left soon for home as they possibly could after finishing their assignments. With Simone being one of the casualties, Petra, being the next most experienced soldiers in their room, inherited her responsibilities. She confirmed which of her roommates had perished, Isabel was indeed one of them, and began clearing out their bunks.

The personal effects were to be returned to the families of the fallen. Belongings of orphans were kept, sold, donated, or thrown out depending on what they were. Only Isabel's things remained to be taken care of.

Exhaustion, both mental and physical, made Petra stop. Her body, including her head, ached and she had no idea which barrack Levi was in. But she couldn't wait any longer and went for the hot shower she had been daydreaming about for hours.

When she finally stepped under the pouring hot water, it was even better than she could have hoped. It soothed her muscles, the steam helping her relax further. Petra didn't leave until the water began to cool down. Drying herself and pulling on a nightgown, she slipped into her bunk, just to rest for a few minutes.

"Squad Leader Mike!" Petra called when she spotted him. She ran up to him. "I'm glad I ran into you."

"Petra, you're not going home?"

"Tomorrow, sir. I wanted some time for myself today. Do you know which barrack Levi is in?"

Mike took in her appearance, one eyebrow raised. "I guess there was something to the rumors after all. I'm impressed you have the courage to come up and ask me directly. Very bold of you, Petra. Frankly, I'm surprised you don't already know where he sleeps."

"No, no, I have some things to give him. But I was just so tired that I gave in and took a bath and fell asleep without meaning to," she explained quickly, feeling a blush coming. "But I guess it can wait until morning. He's probably asleep right now."

"No. He's not much of a sleeper. He'll be awake."

"Oh." She stared at the small package in her hands, a few of Isabel's things wrapped up in a white cloth. "Are they both...?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "They were killed in action." Mike shook his head. "They might have made it if there were only one or two Titans, but they were ambushed by a group."

"If only that storm hadn't come out of nowhere..." Petra agreed.

"Levi's in the fourth barrack," he told her. "The last room."

"Thank you, sir." She bid him farewell and began to walk away.

"Oh, and Petra?"

"Yes, sir?"

Mike's lips twitched. "Do be careful so you don't end up with a surprise in nine months."

Her face flushed red. "Sir, that's not—"

"Goodnight, Petra."

Petra took a deep breath, willing the blood to leave her face as she stood before the door. She knocked, but there was no reply. Maybe he wasn't there. Petra ignored the tiny hint of disappointment she felt at that, wondering how he was doing. When she stepped into the room, she felt her heart jump at the movement. "Levi! You scared me!"

There was plenty of moonlight coming from windows to lighten the room. Levi sat up from his bed and stood. "What are you doing here?"

"I knocked, but you didn't answer."

"Because I didn't want to be disturbed." His eyes fell to her hands. "What's that?"

"I came to drop this off. The previous dorm leader didn't make it so her responsibilities fell to me." She quickly explained the procedures regarding the personal possessions of the deceased. "I thought you might want this."

While he unwrapped the cloth on his bed, she noticed the other bunks. Only the one above Levi's was occupied. Must be Farlan's, she assumed. Or was Farlan's. Levi's all alone now. How isolated he must feel, losing his two closest friends, leaving him by himself in this foreign place. While Levi had gotten to know her, Hange, Moblit, and a few others better, they were aquatinted at best. Anytime she lost comrades close to her, she always felt better being able to hear her roommates at night, knowing they were there. He can't even have that small comfort. Stuck in this empty room by himself.

"Thanks."

Petra snapped out of her thoughts. "Sure thing," she said. "I can clear out Farlan's bunk. Or if you'd like to do it yourself—"

"It's fine. You're already here and you know the procedure or whatever."

A few minutes later, she had stripped the bedding from the mattress, folded the blanket, and placed the pillow on top of the pile on a nearby empty bunk as Levi sorted through Farlan's belongings to give her anything he didn't want to keep.

"I'm keeping it all." Levi placed them in the same cloth with Isabel's things and tied it up before placing it under his bed.

Petra nodded. "Well, that's everything, I guess. I'll let you rest." The bedding in her arms, she made for the door. Turning sideways, she attempted to twist the round handle.

A sigh came from behind her. "I'll get it," Levi said, opening the door for her.

"Thanks." Halfway out of the doorframe, Petra stopped. "I don't know if you're much of a tea person, but I'm going to have a cup before turning in for the night. If you want, you're welcome to join me."

Levi only grunted, not giving her a straight answer.

"Alright, goodnight."

After storing the bedding to be laundered, she wandered to the kitchen, replaying the conversation over in her head, wondering how it might have sounded to him. Did he think she had made the offer out of the kindness of her heart? Or did he think it was an invitation for a late-night tryst? Mike's words came back to her and she groaned quietly. He probably won't show, she thought, shaking her head.

As expected, the kitchen was empty and she couldn't suppress her disappointment.

She was sipping her tea in silence when she heard quiet footsteps. "I wasn't expecting to see you," she said to Levi, who joined her in the mess hall and sat across from her.

"Didn't plan to be here. Wanted to be alone. I was taking a walk and your tea smelled really good," he said.

"Just a minute, please." Petra stood and retrieved a cup from the kitchen. Picking up the kettle, she poured him some of the tea and placed the teacup before him. "You have good timing. I just finished so it's still hot. The salt and sugar are kept under lock and key so you'll have to drink it black."

"I prefer it that way." Levi brought up the teacup and inhaled. "The leaves must be good quality."

"My father got them."

"Chamomile?" Levi guessed, then took a sip.

"Yes. Do you like tea?"

"Mmm."

Petra was pleased at the look of appreciation on his face. "If you ever go to Karanes, there's this great place in the main market between a cobbler shop and a jewelry shop. They have the most aromatic and delicious teas. The price is a bit high but not expensive. Definitely worth the quality."

"I used to collect tea leaves in the Underground."

His words stunned Petra for a second. Not only was he sharing something about his past, but it was something personal, too.

"Black tea is what I prefer most. I heard there's a very rare one called Sina earl grey that's unlike any other earl grey."

"I think I've heard of it," Petra said. "A tea connoisseur invented it for his wife and named it after the Goddess Sina. I'm not really much of an expert so I could be wrong." She shrugged. "I'm just a casual tea drinker."

Levi hummed in response.

Petra enjoyed the silence after that. It was strangely comforting and she didn't feel awkward or felt the need to fill it with useless chatter.

Just sitting in each other's company and quietly sipping tea was enough.

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