Author's note: seriously guys – SORRY! Honestly so much was going on this last year – some good but there was a bit of bad that had me not in the most creative headspace. But I'm back and I hope you're all still interested in the story.
I promise I'm setting up calendar reminders to update more frequently!
Please review to let me know you're still reading!
It was the day after Ana had broken up with Mark and she was yet to set foot back in her house.
She'd stayed the night at EZ and Felipe's, crashing in Angel's old room – talk about irony. Felipe now knew she was in on the DEA secret, so at least there was no pretending when it came to that. They spent most of the morning filling her in on what happens, Kevin's check-ins, what EZ is supposed to do, how long it's supposed to go on for etc.
Then there's the elephant in the room they've now started to address: Angel.
"He has no idea?" Ana asked, sitting at the kitchen table in some sweats she borrowed from EZ as Felipe poured her some coffee.
"If he does he hasn't said anything," EZ responded, sitting across from her.
"And what if he finds out? Then what EZ? Hate to be the cynical one but with the state Mark's in he could go straight to him just to mess shit up," Ana blurted out as she grabbed her coffee. She had barely slept, her hair was a mess and the dark circles under her eyes had never been more prominent.
"Mija don't worry, we're gonna be fine. Even if Angel found out… we will get through it," Felipe interjected, placing his hand at the back of Ana's head in an attempt to calm her.
Sending a sweet smile to the man who always seemed like a father to her, Ana took a deep breath before responding.
"That's what I hope for guys, but knowing Angel. I just don't know how he could get over the betrayal…."
Reaching over to grab her hand, EZ forced Ana to take a look into his eyes. "Let us cross that bridge IF we come to it okay? In the meantime, let's go make sure that asshole is out of your place now okay?" EZ said.
"Yes I agree, get that scum out of your place Ana… and focus on yourself," Felipe chimed in, giving her a stern look before continuing. "You have wasted too much time on the man, time to do what you want. Whatever that is."
Tears forming in her eyes, Ana felt overcome with emotion for the Reyes father. How was it that in this moment he still had time to be a father to her as well as his two sons who were embroiled in the conflict of a lifetime? Standing up, she pulled him into a hug, thanking him as she did so.
Squeezing her back, Felipe gave her a nudge. "Now go get changed and go get your home back."
It was later that afternoon, and EZ and Ana had just parked out the front of Ana's house. Walking up to the door the house looked empty, Mark's car nowhere in sight. But wanting to protect her from any surprises, EZ opened the door and stepped in before giving Ana the all clear.
Walking through the hallway, the house seemed mostly intact aside from a few photos and books. "Seems like maybe he got the message hey?" EZ asked, breaking the silence while a timid Ana wandered through the first floor and into the kitchen.
"Surprise, surprise. Didn't take anything from the kitchen." Ana mumbled, making her way back out the kitchen and up the stairs while EZ hung back. "Hey…" he called before she got too far up, causing her to look back. "Yell if you need me, k?" Nodding back in confirmation, Ana turned back around and continued her trek upstairs.
Once she got to the top she made a beeline for their – her – bedroom. Walking over to Mark's side of the closet, she found all his clothes and shoes gone. His bedside table was empty too. Making her way into the bathroom she once again found only her things.
Seeing their room like this, as though there was only ever one person living there sent Ana into an odd trance. For seven years it had been her and Mark. They had built a life together, he had made her feel safe and normal. He almost made her forget most of her childhood was spent under the guidance of a drunk, absentee father who once the alcohol couldn't quite hit the spot anymore, turned to drugs and on more than one occasion was willing to pimp a teen Ana out to anyone who was willing to spot him some of the good stuff in return. Luckily for her, Felipe and Marisol were in her life by then and she had someone to run to for help. But as she got older, denial became her main source of refuge.
And then she met Mark in college. She was studying teaching and everything changed. He wasn't like EZ or Angel, wasn't extroverted or charming without even trying, he was just a plain guy studying law who liked her. And she liked him because of it. Soon enough one date turned into three, then a year and another and so on. But she never told him much about her life, she just played it cool and aloof. She never fully trusted him.
And now here she was. Alone. Because he thought she was someone she wasn't, someone who wanted what he did. And oddly enough Ana didn't even blame Mark. She just blamed herself.
Maybe if I let him all the way in years ago, things would be different now. Or maybe if I stopped hiding I'd be different. I'd be happier, she thought.
Ana didn't move until EZ found her in the bedroom, standing next to Mark's side of the bed with her hand lightly touching his bedside table. "Hey, you okay?" EZ asked, leaning his head down so his eyes were now level with Ana's.
Coming back to her senses, Ana felt a lone tear fall down. "Hm, to be honest I don't know. I… it was time we ended but… seeing everything empty… he just left… I just thought that. Man I sound so self-centred…" she paused, while EZ just stared back at her waiting for her to continue.
"I guess I just thought he'd fight for me, he'd cool down and come back and apologise, say that he couldn't let me go… but maybe he was as done as I was hey? Seven years and here I am," she said softly as she looked down, not wanting EZ to see her cry. "Hey…" EZ said, bringing Ana's face up with a hand on her chin.
"It is his loss okay? You're a solid 8 out of 10 on a bad day okay… 10 when you really try… boy was pushing his luck every day for the past 7 years and he just knew his time was up," EZ joked, finally getting a soft chuckle and an eye roll out of his best friend. He always knew how to make her laugh, it was one of her favourite things about him.
Turning serious now, he pulled Ana in for a hug. "But seriously guapa, you can't blame yourself. We all make our choices and yeah sure you could've done things better but so could he. Being in love, truly in love means you don't give up on one another, and you compromise. You find a happy medium. You two just weren't meant to be."
"No you're right," Ana admits, pulling away from EZ and fixing her hair. "It just sucks to know that, I feel like a failure. What was it all even for?"
EZ was now back home, having left Ana at hers to pick up the remnants of her life. He knew she'd be okay, she'd faced tougher challenges in life but that didn't mean he didn't worry.
Ana didn't like to let it show to a lot of people, but she had the biggest heart of anyone he knew, and the idea that maybe she wasn't entirely honest with those around her for the last few years to the point that it messed her own life and theirs, that killed her.
Walking into the house, EZ saw his pop sitting in the living room, watching the news on his day off. Sunday's were the one day he tried not to have the shop open, unless he really needed to.
Sitting down next to him, it took him about a three seconds to ask EZ how 'mija' was doing. "Yeah… she's okay just… I think just in shock. But she knows she'll be okay. That he wasn't right for her. That she wasn't right for him…"
"About time I say… and what about your brother? Does he know?" Felipe asks as he stares at EZ over his glasses before continuing "…Because if he doesn't yet, I suggest you break the news to him gently. He may go into shock too eh?" Felipe chuckled, a rare joke from EZ's otherwise stoic dad.
And as if he conjured him up himself, the two heard the front door open and close with a bang, before the oldest son came rumbling through the living room. "Hey pops, hey lil bro, how you doin'?" He opens with, and then he sees their faces and instantly starts to panic. They didn't look worried exactly, but they were definitely not telling him something big.
"Uh bro you may wanna sit down a sec…" EZ starts, but naturally all that does is put Angel on edge more, making him stand up straighter, fists clenched. "What's wrong?" he says sternly.
"Jesus for fu- you know what it's fine, it's good news actually!" EZ starts, already fed up with Angel instantly going into biker mode when there was nothing to worry about – at least not right this second. "I just wanted to tell you Mark and Ana are officially done."
And just like that, Angel felt like the weight that had been on his chest for years was finally off. Falling down onto the armrest of Felipe's chair, Angel thought he'd heard his little brother wrong. "Wait wait wait… did you just say what I think you said? You better not be playing with me bro?" Angel said seriously, praying silently he heard right.
And in case EZ's next few words didn't confirm it for him, his grin certainly did. "Bro I know better than to lie to you about that… but listen she's in a tough space at the moment okay… picking up the pieces so just. Be her friend man…" EZ gently warned. He knew how long Angel had been waiting for his shot with Ana for, and he wanted him to have it. But he also knew that Ana would hold back now that she knew about his deal. All he could do was give them both a nudge in the right direction.
"Yeah yeah I know.. nah you're right. That's what I am you know… her friend…" Angel started rambling, but his mind was crystal clear. "I've ahh… got some stuff to take care of.. I'll catch you'se later okay?" he says to his brother and father, and storms out without waiting for a response, leaving the other two Reyes men alone to laugh.
It was about five in the afternoon when Ana opened the door to a cut-less Angel. Wow no cut? This is big, she thought as she looked at him.
"…Hey…" was all the biker seemed to muster as he looked at the woman standing in front of him. Having recently showered, Ana was dressed in just a short sleeved t and pyjama shorts, her hair was still a little wet, and her skin was glowing. Her eyes were slightly puffy, Probably from crying, he made her cry the dick, Angel thought. But she was otherwise as beautiful as Angel always thought she was.
"So EZ told you huh?" She asks, pulling no punches. Crossing her arms over her chest, Ana suddenly felt so vulnerable. All she could feel was Angel's eyes on her, she knew what he wanted because she wanted it to. But it couldn't happen. For so many reasons. And now she had to tell him so.
With neither not knowing what to say, Ana moved to the side and held the door open for Angel to walk through. The minute she closed the door behind him, she found Angel towering over her, which ended in her being pushed back against the door.
"How are you?..." he asked softly as he eyes searched her face, trying to piece together the myriad of emotions that seemed to be dancing across it.
Quivering at how close his face was to hers, Ana broke eye contact as she looked down at her feet. "Um you know, okay… it was time. Mark and I just… ran our course you know? Still sucks and I've got to work through it for a bit but I guess it means I'll get to focus on me for a bit now… haven't done that in a while…"she said in quick but staggered breaths and she slid out from underneath him and walking into the hallway through to the living room.
Following her quickly, Angel left little room between them as he grabbed Ana's hand and pulled her around to face him. His touch was electric to her, and the minute he grabbed her hand she found herself forgetting about everything else going on.
They stood there for a moment, Ana in Angel's arms as they looked into each other's eyes. Angel was in awe of her, and while he'd imagined this moment a thousand and one times, the real thing left him speechless. Clearing his throat, he finally found the words, well some words at least. "So does this mean…. What I hope it means…?"
Tears forming in her eyes again, Ana didn't know how she could get out of this unscathed. Because no matter what she chose, she'd have to lie for the rest of both of their lives. Leaning her head into his chest, Ana let out a small huff and groan before pulling out of his arms for what would be the final time.
Putting her hands on her hips, Ana tried to muster all the strength she could. "Angel… I know that…. The past few weeks we've been in this weird limbo that I don't think either of us ever really thought we'd be in and I know that you have feelings for me and I… I feel them to but… I just can't okay? Now just… it isn't the right time," she said gently, she wasn't sure what Angel's reaction would be but she was scared all the same. She could lose him forever.
Not understanding, the older Reyes just stepped closer to her. "Ana, what are you talking about, why? I don't get it… you clearly feel the same way I do… and now that Marky Mark's out of the picture- "
"It doesn't matter if he's out of the picture Angel!" Ana snaps, realising the only way to protect the complicated friendship they had, was to be cruel now. "Angel it doesn't change the fact that I don't know who I am, or what exactly I feel okay? I just… I was with Mark for seven years and now he's gone. I need to figure out who I am again. You know I dropped out of college after everything with EZ and I just focused on Mark and now…. I can't just become your girl you know?" She says, practically pleading for Angel to understand.
"Yeah well you didn't just become my girl Ana, you were always my girl… you just didn't want to admit it," Angel takes another step, closing the space between him and Ana. Grabbing her hand, he puts it to his chest, while his own cups her cheek.
"Ana it has always been us okay, and I know you're going through some shit right now but let me go through it with you…" he says in a way that brings out the roughness to his voice while still remaining soft, bringing his forehead down to hers.
"I can make it better me mi reina…"
"Angel please. I just, I need to focus on me okay? I need us to just go back to the way we were… please…" Ana finally says, right before Angel's lips meet hers.
Finally seeing how serious she was, Angel slowly let go of Ana's face but their foreheads still stayed together. Closing his eyes, all Angel could muster was one parting line "You know one day Ana, you're gonna want me and I just may be done waiting…" and with that he stormed out, leaving Ana all alone.
Author's note: Okay again guys I am SO INCREDIBLY SORRY!
But I'm finally getting my writing mojo back and love this story so much so please leave a review to let me know you're all still wanting to read it!
It'll get the creative juices going to know you guys still love these characters as much as I do. I promise it's not long to go till a major slowburn break through happens ;)
I hope you're all staying safe! xx