Did that other version of myself…
"Her yellow blood cell count is extremely unstable! What the hell do we do about this?!"
"Yellow blood cells… what the…" The voice was interrupted by ear piercing, hysterical screaming of an older woman.
"Someone escort her mother out of here. We do not need the hysteria right now. The girl is already in critical condition." The screaming only intensified.
"Don't take me from my little girl! What are yellow blood cells?! I demand answers! DOCTOR, PLEASE!"
...do this to me?
Showers had often beckoned the girl to slip into her own mind, allowing her to reflect on her life and memories, more so the ones that tormented her. This time was no different.
The pink haired girl known as Zakura was lost in her thoughts. Even the downpour of soothing warm water washing over her could not snap her from her own mind. Her face had been tilted up at the shower head just above her, her eyes shut loosely as she allowed all of the steaming droplets to caress her body. It felt so relieving, being able to feel clean water on her skin. As lovely as it had felt, it did not come without its price.
Even as the small stool supporting her allowed her to stay off the wounded ankle by providing a seat, her legs still shook uncontrollably. The warm water drenching her had also seeped into her various wounds from that day - more specifically the one on her shin - and was accompanied by a deep red fluid as it flowed down the drain. The pain of the wound was all but forgotten in the girl's meditating state, but her body still reacted accordingly.
She sighed heavily and opened her eyes halfway, still looking to the shower head that sprayed her continuously. The pink hair of hers had begun to cling to her body as it accepted the refreshing treatment of much needed moisture. It had been tangled, torn, and knotted for some time now. After all, the only source of cleaning water the girl came into contact with had been rain, and it had been fairly common that spring, but without proper soap or shampoo, it had often done nothing more than to soak her.
That boy… he's the same as back then… generous and caring. It was only a story book back then, but now… he has offered me a way to relax and clean myself, and even wants me to stay with him in his home. I really could use the assistance, as much as I hate to admit it… and I really want to stay, his presence puts my heart at ease but…
Zakura raised her hands to her forehead, or rather, just above it and felt both of the crimson, bony, blade shaped structures that emerged from her head.
Will I be able to show him them without causing a scene? He has been understanding this far, why wouldn't he be okay with them?
Both fists were clenched tight as tears mixed with the flowing shower water.
Because you're a monster, a demon, you dumbass.
That's right. She hid them from everyone. The world around her wouldn't accept them, and she was no different. She didn't ask to have them, but yet there they remained.
I'll keep them from him too. At least until I get some answers from that demon in my head. Whatever she is, she can strangle me in a dream. I need to know if she caused me to become… whatever I am now.
As much as she wanted to ignore and run from the voices in her head, Zakura realized that her curiosity trumped the fear and hatred. Why was she like this? Did that demon in her subconscious cause her trauma all those years ago? What the hell were yellow blood cells? She didn't have any of the pieces to the convoluted puzzle laid out before her, and it irritated her to no end. She needed answers.
Still painfully limping on her good foot, she approached the mirror and sink that greeted her on the wall, following her exit from the bathing room. Her reflection glared back at her, those red protrusions seemingly shining from the light refracting off them. If she didn't find them disgusting, the sight might have actually caught her attention.
What did happen to catch her attention, however, was her movements being properly mirrored in the glass. No abnormal strangling demon here.
How noticeable are they?, the horned girl inquired to herself as she gently pulled back her lower lip, revealing her sharp, extended canines to herself. They were more pronounced and sharper than an average person's but they didn't particularly stand out unless they were compared to another person's. She could notice the difference in size, but she doubted anyone else could unless they looked hard enough. I can't exactly hide them, so I have to be careful about my anger; make sure they don't grow anymore. Filing them down is not as painless as my horns.
She began to wonder if the black haired teenager would even mind the external changes. It wasn't all that different, to be fair. The fangs and horns were the main targets of her stress, but gazing at herself in the mirror made her notice the other significant changes, specifically her eyes.
The shining emerald eyes she once called her own as a child, were replaced with sharper, more mature ones, featuring pale green irises with a one-of-a-kind black ring encircling the deep red pupils. When angered thoroughly, her pupils often shone a bright, intimidating red, but when calm and unstressed, they were almost indistinguishable from the standard black pupils humans had.
On the outside edge of her eyes, a reddish makeup-like marking had formed, although she wasn't quite sure when. It traced the curve of the outside corners of her eyes, and extended the shape outwards, accentuating the sharpness of her exotic eyes. It was visible at all times, and it was a feature the girl knew she was unable to hide.
Her eyes were possibly the only new feature of her mutated body that she hadn't ever minded. They were exotic, without looking like she was some sort of bloodthirsty monster.
Right. I need a towel. He gave me one, right?
Zakura performed a slow, reversal, on her right foot, still babying her left by keeping it from touching the ground. On the washer was indeed a neatly folded white towel, awaiting the arrival of the girl bathing. As she approached and grabbed the cloth, a buzzing sound erupted from the machine, startling the girl and causing her heart to skip a beat.
Th-that's right, h-he had my clothes in the wash! S-Silly Zakura, it's nothing to be afraid of! I should go tell him the washer is done.
Unraveling the towel, and placing the whole of it on her admittedly tough-to-clean hair, the teenage girl made her way into the living room. She began drying her hair, forgetting one small detail.
Aihiko flipped through the pages in the notebook, still clutching his heart that surged with familiar and foreign feelings. Each page was another mecha, just like the first, with occasional notes scrawled in the same child like handwriting as the name on the cover. It was hardly eligible, but studying it enough gave him the ability to make out what each one said.
'Perri is a flat, bossy, bitch. Fuck off, nobody likes you. Being class president doesn't mean shit, you stuck up FUCKING SNOB,' followed by a cartoon drawing of a bossy little girl yelling. Someone from her class?
'Stop eating in class, you fucking dumbass pig. Jeez, you're going to explode eating that much bread. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET THAT MUCH ANYWAY?!'
'FUCKING REDHEADS ARE AT IT AGAIN GOD THEY'RE SOGODDAMNANNOYING I WANT TO STRAAAAAANGGLLEEEEEEEE THEEEEEMMMMMMMMMM SHUTUPPPPPP'
Obviously, she was not fond of her classmates. Her drawings, however, were absolutely phenomenal. He wondered just how long each one took, they were so detailed and life like, and he felt… emotionally connected to them just by looking at their various designs.
He could also, for some reason, name each one, as if they were long lost friends. There was a pink and white one that resembled a girl with pigtails, with claws on its hands. Argentea was the name that came to mind.
Another one, colored black and green, and wielding some sort of extremely heavy looking cannon, Genista, he almost recalled.
The final drawing was of a mostly colorless mech, with lavender accents. Its 'hair' was the same shade of purple and it seemed to have… wings on its arms…? Perhaps that one could fly? In any case, Chlorophytum was what his heart echoed upon viewing it.
There were a few more drawings on the following pages. It didn't make sense to him though. All of the other drawings were well constructed masterpieces. These ones were a total mess. They remained uncolored and the lines were wildly drawn, as if the girl was madly scribbling on the paper with reckless abandon. There was hardly a form at all, almost like she happened to have a seizure while attempting the recreate her imagination.
The same messy drawing style continued as he delve further into the notebook, getting more and more devolved as time went on. Certain parts of the doodle eventually seemed to be crossed out altogether, like she didn't want to draw whatever it was.
Why draw something that you don't want to? It's not like she was being forced. ...right? It's really strange… I'll have to ask her about it later.
Upon closing the red covered spiral notebook, Aihiko felt the weight on his heart lift. It had gradually become easier to deal with over time. Only the first page had caught him so off guard that he felt pain. Even so, he felt as if he was missing something. A part of himself almost. Such a strange sensation it was, as if a cord had bound him to someone else's knowledge and being, but that someone else was also… him?
The boy shook his head and groaned in frustration, he was unable to properly make heads or tails of the situation he was experiencing.
Dammit, why is everything so confusing right now?! Wait, no ignore it, Hiko. Right now, I need to identify the girl in my shower. That's what I came here for. Feelings can come later.
A short look into the bag sitting just to his right gave him the answer he required. He lifted the laminated green school ID and furrowed his brow in utter confusion.
"Zakura Tenshi…? What…?" He looked to the hallway where the shower room was, and then back to the ID. "So she wasn't misspelling her name. It actually has a Z. But… Tenshi isn't her surname. I don't remember exactly what it was, but it definitely wasn't Tenshi."
For a few moments, he pondered the possibility of the pink haired girl being a mix up. Had he helped some random homeless girl in his emotional confusion? Just because she looked like her, and her name was similar, didn't exactly mean they were the same person.
Only one way to find out. I'll see if she remembers us meeting under that cherry blossom tree on the hill. The one I waited for her at, day after day… I really hope I'm right, so I can apologize…
Aihiko sighed and began replacing the items that he had foraged from the schoolbag. He made sure each one was put back, even the knife and nail filer, against his better judgement. He would question her thoroughly when she got her voice back.
BZZZzzzzt!
The sound of the washer finishing its cycle prompted the boy to pick himself off the floor and advance towards the room. She had been in the shower for about 20 minutes, he noted.
She must be enjoying herself. I'm glad.
A sudden sound caught his attention, stopping him dead in his tracks. The bathroom door had thunk'd open, oh she was done showering already? Oh well, at least she -
ABJFBUNKDIVI HOLYMOTHEROFSHITTINGLORDALMIGHTY ASNFUIKFRBEJDJKF!
Her gaze caught his as she rounded the corner, rubbing the towel across her scalp in an attempt to stop the dripping of her hair. That, however, was not Hiko's current concern, as his entire body heated up with a never-before-felt tier of excitement.
HOOOOOOOLLYYYSHIIIIIIITTT ICANSEEEVERYTHING!
Modesty was not the girl's strong suit, as she certainly hadn't minded him groping her accidentally earlier, and she definitely didn't seem at all worried that every inch of her body was bared before him. Not even a slight blush of shame came to her face. Aihiko wanted to avert his eyes, but he was powerless. He traced every single curve on her body, he wanted to sear the image into his mind. He hadn't even noticed the apparent rising of his pants.
SAY SOMETHING YOU FUCKING IDIOT STOP STARING SHE'S DEFINITELY GONNA THINK YOU'RE A PERVERT!
The speechless teenager continued to let his eyes savor the treat he was given as he forced himself to say the first thing that came to mind. His voice quivered and cracked as he attempted to speak a somewhat coherent thought.
"Y-y-you're! N-N-N-N-N-N-N-NAKED!" he blurted out in his flustered state. His eyes found refuge on a strange marking around the nude figure's neck. Try as he might, he was unable to figure out what it was. Bruising? He narrowed his eyes at it, obviously unsettling the girl. Oh, so staring at her naked body doesn't bother her, but looking at her neck does?
She had seemingly had enough of drying her hair, and lowered the towel to drape around her neck, followed by a quick shake of her head that threw leftover water droplets everywhere. A disapproving scowl made itself clear across her face as she lowered her hands to her well rounded hips. Her look made him aware of his staring, and seemed to say 'are you done yet'?
However, his view had already changed targets. Zakura's naked body had taken a backseat all of a sudden. Aihiko was too busy planting his eyes on those two magnificent decorations poking out from the sea of cotton candy pink.
An image flashed into his mind.
A lake.
A girl, nude.
A fish dangling and struggling to escape the female's jaw that held it captive.
The same stunning features. Those piercing pale green orbs, the thin, curved body, and last but not least, the same exact red horns. The shape, the coloration, the brilliance, everything down to the very last detail reminded him of the girl who had just emerged from his shower.
What was this? It was like… deja vu.
They had met before. Somehow. He just knew it.
A name came screaming out of his body as the boy remained transfixed on the girl's red horns. Tears and whimpers accompanied it as his very soul attempted to call out to her.
"Zero… Two…?"
He was staring. He was staring.
In her haste to tell the boy about the washer, she had completely forgotten about her lack of a cover for her head. He seemingly hadn't minded at first because she had been using her towel to cover them inadvertently, but now, with the drying cloth hanging from her neck, there was nothing concealing the knife like horns on her forehead. A huge, massive, critical fuCKING BLUNDER.
Her lack of clothing was simply a non-issue, why would she care if someone saw her naked body? It certainly wasn't a new sensation to have someone ogle her nude figure. Her secret, however, was now revealed in the most idiotic way possible.
How could she be so careless? It wasn't even minutes before that she had decided not to show the features to her childhood friend, and now here she was, letting them show for the world to see.
Her expression quickly adjusted to accommodate the shift in atmosphere caused by his fixated gaze. She felt feverish, everything began to spin, she was panicking. Her breathing became harsh and unregulated, she was hyperventilating.
I've fucked up. I've really fucked up. Run. Run away, Zakura. NOW.
Her legs were disobeying her orders. They felt numb and non-existent as she watched the boy search for something to say. There was no escape. She had to face the issue to the best of her ability. Damage control was her immediate concern as she mentally cursed herself for her miscalculation.
"You saw, didn't you?", Zakura rasped weakly. Her voice was hardly even audible, and the attempt at speaking made her feel as if someone was scraping the inside of her throat with a rake. Best to save speaking for something important. The girl quickly threw the towel over her horns and head in a protective manner, still balancing on her good leg somehow.
The question was a vain attempt at assessing the situation. She already knew he saw them. He saw a lot.
Her query must have somehow perturbed the black haired teenager, because tears began to flow down his cheeks at a rapid pace. Why was he crying? She didn't feel as though her words should have upset him.
His lips began to quiver as he softly whimpered out two words. They called to her, to her soul. Each word wound tightly around her heart, but instead of hurting it, they embraced it. She felt as if someone had linked themselves to her, giving her an enormous, wholesome, comforting hug.
"Zero… Two…?"
Her response was immediate, her heart pounded and surged with so many raw emotions, it had become completely unfathomable to comprehend them all. Her expression was only one of joy. A warm, relieved smile formed on her face, she was no longer shocked. She was elated to see him, regardless of the fact she had no idea what he meant.
"Darling…?", the girl counter-questioned, full of warmth and joy. Her voice was still quite hoarse, and remained at almost whispering volume.
The boy in front of her began to approach, each step gentle and cautious. His hands slowly raising up to her head, an unknown force wrenched her from her feet and down to her knees. Zakura's view became cracked, as if reality itself was shattering. Little did she know, Aihiko had already been captured by the same strange trance.
Static.
Let me see.
…
Please?
The noise was obliterated instantly. Gone. No more. She no longer wished to run.
Vision obscured by an unknown shade of red, the girl gave in to the sensations. The glass that allowed her to watch scenes of the past was no more. She was no longer an onlooker, she was now there.
Now one with the emotions and sights, her nerves swelled to capacity with senses of someone else's experience. Everything was consuming her, dragging her down.
Down to hell.
The line is blurring.
Someone
Get me out of here.
...
Who…
Am I?
…
Zero Two,
I want to tell you.
It has to be you. Without you, I can't fight.
I need you!
...
Wait for me, Zero Two!
...I'm coming to you!
…
i preTended to Be, humaN
buT tHat gamE's ov3r nOw
...
tHe 1ine is b1urring
whO… Am i?
I'm here for you.
The world came crashing down around her, blood stained glass destroying the broken thoughts and instincts that ensnared her.
Someone had pulled her back from the pits of Hell. Who? Who would care so much?
Her answer lie in the figure before her. Whipping her head upwards after the shackles had been broken, her eyes landed on another pair. Those icy blue eyes of his tore her heart in two for some reason. Unmistakably, they were his. Tears and blood swirled together upon that innocent face ahead of her.
"D-darling…?", she murmured, still startled by his arrival. She couldn't believe her own eyes as the black haired boy dropped to his knees, embracing her tightly.
His clothes were unlike anything modern, but they suited him. She felt as if she had seen him wearing that skin tight, black suit many, many a time. A protective chest plate was wrapped securely around his chest and pressed into her skin as he tightened the hug.
"I finally got to see you!", his voice cracked with relief. He was so glad she was unharmed. Everything had gotten in their way up until now, but the two of them were the only passengers in this cockpit. Here, they could be as vulnerable as they needed to.
Her white and red costume was quite literally sprayed on to her skin and he could feel her warmth and pounding heart like they were his own.
Defensively, his pink haired friend raised her hands in front of her face after pushing him away slightly. As if to avoid eye contact with him, she squeezed her eyes shut and turned to his left, whimpering and apprehensive about his comfort.
"D-Don't look at me!", the girl shouted, trembling as he adjusted his hands from her back to her thin wrists that protected her distraught face. He grasped them loosely, delicately. She began crying, scared and reluctant to open up. "Aren't you scared of me…?"
He could never be afraid of the sweet girl before his eyes. His sweetheart, his world, his universe. The boy could only watch her joyously as the wall she had built surrounding her heart came careening down. She was rendered vulnerable for the first time in her life.
Just because she had lost control in the last few days before did not mean he had given up on her. Although, the stressful look on her face made him painfully aware that she felt she did not deserve him anymore. She felt as if she had sinned.
"I used you, you know…", she mewled. Her darling shook his head, wanting to forget the past.
"That doesn't matter anymore!", he replied, tears blurring his vision of the defenseless girl in front of him.
Doesn't matter? How could it not matter?!
"But… But I called you fodder!", the girl practically screeched back at him. She had turned to face him to emphasize her point, but the act had backfired, it only made the guilt inside her grow.
"And I called you a monster!", he yelled back, inches from her face. He wasn't wrong. A monster, a demon. It was all she was. Nothing more, nothing less. She didn't deserve this boy. Not in the slightest.
The boy pulled her wrists, jerking her entire body towards him. She placed her shaking hands loosely on his chest plate, as his arms wrapped around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. Both of his hands planted themselves firmly on the back of her neck and she could tell; he too, was trembling.
His head now rested itself up against her right temple as his voice lowered to the soft, caring one was familiar with.
"So we're even now."
Even? He would never be able to stoop to her level. Darling was on an entirely separate tier than her. She wouldn't allow him to fall from his status. He was so, so much more than she could ever even dream of being.
"That's right… I am a monster. So... "
He had already used that term to describe her not that long ago. Even her darling had believed she was nothing more than a bloodthirsty beast. Her thought process was broken by the boy's abrupt yelling in her ear.
"That's not it! We gotta talk it out!", he cried out suddenly, not wanting to let her finish. He lowered his voice again, attempting to control his emotions. "We've got to think it out…"
Nothing was going to get accomplished if they only whined about their problems. The past had to be forgiven, and they needed to walk away from it to their future, together. He needed to convince her of that. If she didn't agree, there was no hope.
He was not angry. He never was.
No further words dared escape his partner's lips. Her sobs and whimpers made him determined to see her smile once again. No more moping.
"There must be places we have to go. Our journey begins now! This world is surely much, much larger than we can ever imagine!"
His words were broken by the increasing volume of her suffering sobs in his ear. Push harder! Dig deeper! Make her believe!
"We couldn't do it back then, but this time, for sure... ", he continued, talking softly into her ear, his hands squeezing her as tight as they possibly could. "...let's go see the outside world together!"
Ever-so-slowly, the black haired boy pulled away from her shoulder. Making eye contact with that precious, irreplaceable partner of his was top priority. Her lips trembled as she returned the loving gaze. Their eyes deadlocked for a few short moments, enough to allow him to finish his declaration.
"Zero Two… together, we are one." With one swift, clean movement, the boy's lips dove onto her's, his head tilted slightly to the left for maximum contact. He could hear her soft sobs through their kiss, and he accepted every last ounce of her emotions with his entire being.
The loving reunion scene that played out before her began to recede.
Zakura had heard once before that memories were often tied closely to a person's senses. Senses could provoke certain responses in the brain that would attempt to connect the them to a past experience to gather more critical information.
But never once, had she thought that a memory would allow her to practically relive the event right before her very eyes. She was already thoroughly drenched by the shower water, but now she felt tears escaping her eyes. However, the stars of the show, Zero Two and 'Darling', were nowhere to be found.
Replicating the scene that had just played out in their minds, Zakura and Aihiko were now well into a soft kiss on the floor of the family room. His arms had secured her tightly, and she felt safe and loved.
Realizing the sudden shift from memory to reality, the girl quickly made sure Aihiko's mother was not around and leaned into the kiss, closing her eyes to enjoy the gesture even further.
In that moment, they indeed, had become one.
The beast was accompanied by her prince. She was no longer alone.
Chapter Three - Together / We Are One
(Holy crap was this chapter so invigorating to write! I got lost on where I wanted it to go about halfway through, but I had an idea that I later ran with to bring the two reincarnations together. I was practically crying re-watching the reunion scene in Episode 15 to help with writing the final bits to this chapter. That scene is just so damn powerful to me. Speaking of, I got some inspiration on how to word that entire scene from a Reddit user's post discussing it. Night-addict's post analyzing the meaning behind each spoken line and what not helped me shape the way I recreated the scene, so thank them for that extremely helpful post.
Also, a small shout out to one of the reviewers of this fanfiction, Charles T. Servant, who pointed out that Zakura Tenshi's name reflects ZT, as in Zero Two. I'll be 100% honest, I hadn't even meant that to happen myself. Her surname was meant to be a reflection of Aihiko's view of her. Tenshi means "angel", by the way. I hope you've enjoyed reading this far, because I'm pumped to continue this since I have so much free time. I'll try updating every day or two, and if there's a longer break between chapters, it most likely means there will be a LARGE chapter coming. Ride on, my Darlings~!)