Closure

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

rorru: After retaking Wall Maria, the bodies of the deceased soldiers that were left behind during the Battle of Shinganshina as well as the 57th Expedition are recovered for a large funeral.

Definitely paints a clear picture, Levi thought, closing the folder with detailed descriptions of the five stages of human decomposition. He'd wanted to know exactly what he was going to see during the corpse collection mission so he'd done a little research.

Out in the courtyard, the soldiers were almost finished with the preparations. About two dozen or so carts surrounded him with men and women in uniform hurrying between them. He spotted Hange standing on a small stage made of crates grouped together, directing the Garrison soldiers around her. Only nine members of the Corps had survived the mission to retake Wall Maria. Not nearly enough for what they were going to attempt today. Before humanity—or rather, the people of the Walls—could return and reclaim their lost land, it first needed to be cleared of all the corpses that could potentially spread infectious diseases and attract predators. Also so the brave soldiers who had given their lives for the cause could finally be put to rest.

Almost three months had passed since the 57th Expedition and ten days since the Battle of Shinganshina. At this point, the oldest bodies were past the final stage of decomposition. The soldiers who died in the recent mission were on the second stage. The soldiers' bodies in the latter expedition were bloated from the released gasses, their skin a garish green. Liquids were may be leaking from their orifices and they probably reeked, too.

Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, and the rest of them from three months ago wouldn't smell, though. Most likely they had already skeletonized.

Death was ugly, messy business. During the third stage, he had learned, called active decay, the body's surroundings got stained. Since Petra and the others were all wrapped up in thick, white, blanket-like body bags, was the cloth stuck to their bodies now because of the liquids that had been released? Or had it dried so the body bag would peel away without issue?

He pictured every gruesome detail possible. He needed to prepare himself for what he was going to witness. It would help make it less shocking, knowing what was coming, making it easier to stomach.

Levi imagined Petra's corpse. That beautiful, stunning red hair would be dried and ugly, thinned out, fallen from her scalp. Her skin tissue would have also decayed, and her teeth and nails would have come off. Beetles and other select insects must have chewed up the soft parts of her remains. What if maggots had laid eggs in her skin and hair? He couldn't stand the thought of those filthy things in that shiny reddish-orange hair he'd always loved so.

He shook away the nauseating image in his head, focusing his attention on his surroundings. Eren and the rest of his squad were also in attendance for this expedition. They should be resting, Levi thought. But of course they would be here. Eren was especially intent on finding and bringing back the remains of his first squad. Last night, the boy had said it was the least he could do. The new Levi Squad, and even that gloomy kid Floch, wanted to give the dead a proper funeral.

The soldiers were broken up into groups. The team leader had two lists with all the names of the deceased, one for the 57th Expedition and the other for the mission in Wall Maria.

Once everything was set, Hange led the expedition.

It just didn't feel right without Erwin.

Erwin, whose body was in cold storage in a deep underground basement to keep it persevered. His was the only body they had brought back when they returned from Shinganshina. But the commander could not be put to rest without his subordinates, so his body was set aside until his soldiers could join him.

It was a clear and sunny day.

The grassy fields stretched out around him, moving gently in the wind. The Forest of Giant Trees loomed close by. A group of soldiers had headed in there to sweep it for bodies that may have been dragged there by animals.

The bodies he had ordered to be discarded during the 57th Expedition were not too far from the location they were initially dropped. Some of them had been picked by animals. Those remains were the ones that weren't wrapped up after the 57th expedition, making it easy for animals to get to them.

Levi scanned the ground, trying to find Petra. She was the third body to be tossed, he recalled, slowly replaying the scene in his head.

Giving that order had broken his heart more than finding their bodies had. They'd all known what they were getting into when they signed up for the Corps. Death was a very real and looming possibility for them. But discarding their bodies, that was something else entirely. It was like rubbing salt in the wound. An extra dose of cruelty and mockery in an already horrible situation. It made him upset and frustrated him even now.

The first corpse he found was too mangled to identify. Height wise Levi guessed it was a man and left it for someone more knowledgable to identify.

He knelt and began to carefully peel away the blanket of the second corpse. Before he could even see it, he knew it in his gut. This was it. This was her. This is Petra. Yet Levi couldn't bring himself to pull the cover back to reveal the face.

His arms were still frozen when a hand gripped his wrist.

"Don't," was all Hange said.

"But—"

"Trust me. You only want to remember them how they were. Not like this."

Levi knew she was speaking from experience. Most of her subordinates were shot and killed by Kenny and his men, but Moblit had been burned quite horrifically. His skin had melted and the muscles had pulled back, turning him into a grotesque thing of nightmares.

"I have to check," Levi insisted. "I have to know it's her. I took her patch so it should be missing from her jacket."

All the soldiers wore an armband with their name and the number of the expedition. So later, if this exact scenario arose, their bodies could be identified and their families would be assured their loved one was finally laid to rest. Luckily, they'd made note of everyone missing when the corpses were being collected initially after the failure in the forest. All they needed to do was see if the total number of bodies they found now matched the number of soldiers who didn't make it back then. In that case, positively identifying who was who would be irrelevant. Only important thing was they had every single body that was left behind.

"Was it the patch you gave to Dieter?" Hange asked. "Was it Petra's?"

"It was."

From Eld, Levi had retrieved his engagement ring. It had gone back to his fiancée.

Gunther carried a lucky marble with him and Levi had sent it to his mother and grandfather.

Oluo always wore a cravat in imitation of him. Levi had sent the white cloth to his family.

But Petra didn't have anything like that, a trinket or precious object she always had with her, so he'd taken her patch instead.

Overcome with pity for Dieter, thinking back to how his own friends' bodies had been left behind during his first expedition, Levi had offered Dieter Petra's patch. It had left him with nothing he could offer Petra's father, who, unfortunately, had been the one to find him after the expedition.

Her poor father, once he was done rambling in nervousness about Petra being too young to marry, had fallen into a dark silence as he picked up on Levi's mood. No words had been needed to convey the message. Her father had read it clear on his face: Petra is dead. Your child is no more. Levi had watched the innocence and the joy leech out of Mr. Ral's face and felt helpless to provide him anything of comfort as the man went numb from grief, his life shattering before Levi's eyes.

It had never stopped eating away at him, not being able to comfort the only family of someone who had been close to his heart.

Thankfully, the families of the male members of his squad had been absent as he had been unprepared to speak with them right then and there. The ring, marble, and cravat were mailed to the families. While he would have preferred to deliver them in person, the mess with the Female Titan in Stohess then Wall Rose's Titans had taken priority.

Levi imagined their families would have crowded around the objects, held them close, remembering and mourning their lover, child, sibling. Hopefully, it gave them even a measure of comfort.

For Petra's father, though, there had been nothing of the sort. No even useless platitude had come to him. Words had fled Levi, leaving him mute. And he had left Mr. Ral behind, detached from the world around him, in complete denial and unimaginable pain.

"I have to... I have to..." Levi said to Hange, mind scrambled, unable to properly form a sentence.

"You just need to recover her body safely," she said softly. "That's all. Now move aside," Hange said, her face hardening. "I'm the commander. I need to see the bodies. This is the fate I may subject my soldiers to one day."

He did as she said and she inspected the body while he waited, badly tempted to look but also too nervous to.

"It's her."

For the rest of the expedition, Levi became almost useless. He couldn't bear to stray from Petra's body. What if it got lost somehow? Or accidentally crushed? Worst of all would be if some troublesome situation arose and they were forced to flee again, leaving the bodies behind for whatever reason. So Levi stuck loyally by her side. The soldiers didn't need his help in grabbing corpses. It was a simple task they could handle by themselves.

In the wagon, Levi made sure Petra's body wasn't underneath the other corpses. For his men, there wasn't really anything he could do, but Petra was small, smaller than even him, and it gave him an excuse. To prevent additional trauma to the remains, he had ordered her body to be placed on top of the other ones, who were bigger and heavier than her.

Fortunately, they were able to recover the same number of bodies as the number of soldiers that were missing during the 57th Expedition, which meant everyone was accounted for and they could give all of those men and women a funeral. Their families would get some peace of mind.

One location down, one to go. Levi thought.

It made no sense to drag the recovered bodies all the way to Shinganshina then back to Wall Rose. So the loaded wagons were sent back to Karanes. In the meantime, the rest of the group continued to head down south to clear up Shinganshina next—clear it of the soldiers' bodies only as getting the civilians' also would require much more time, planning, and resources.

Levi had to fight the temptation to escort his squad's bodies back instead of continuing on with the mission. As he always did though, he set aside his personal feelings and watched the wagons disappear over the horizon.

The first thing Levi did when he returned to Karanes was find his deceased squad.

A paper with a name and number had been taped to the body bag of every identified corpse. It made it easy to identify who was who without having to check the armband again.

He only breathed a sigh of relief after he confirmed Petra, Eld, Oluo, and Gunther were all there, all together.

The preparations had already been made while they were out collecting the fallen soldiers. Large funeral pyres were almost done being constructed. The friends and families of the soldiers had gathered in the late evening sun.

Levi was sure Petra's father would be around somewhere among them. He still had no idea what to give the man. He wanted to give Mr. Ral something. Anything physical he could hold on to.

Eren found him a few minutes later, crouching and staring at Petra's body bag, frowning thoughtfully.

"Captain, here," he said, holding something out.

Levi stood and accepted it. "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Hange told me about what you did for Eld, Gunther, and Oluo. She also told me about what happened with Dieter. Petra was my squadmate, too. She died trying to protect me. So it's only right. Give that to her father."

Eren had even gone to the extent of making his Wings of Freedom patch look properly worn out. "Thank you," Levi said, clutching it tightly.

Eren nodded, dull grief clear on his face. Ever since they'd learned of the contents of the Yeager family basement and after the ceremony where the survivors were honored as Heroes of Shinganshina, getting a medal from the queen for their service, Eren seemed to have changed, maturing and quieting down.

Less than an hour later, all the pyres were set with the soldiers' corpses. Erwin was placed in the middle and just a little to the front of the group. The pyres with his soldiers' bodies flanked him. It was only fitting he lead them into the afterlife, if such a thing existed, since he'd sent them or led them to their deaths when they lived.

Levi was quick to find Petra's father. He was standing by himself among other civilian families. He was thinner than the last time Levi had seen him.

Recognition immediately flashed on Mr. Ral's face when he saw him. "Captain Levi," he said with a small smile. "Thank you for bringing my daughter's body back. I feel I can rest a little easier knowing she's not just lost and abandoned out there somewhere."

Levi was glad to hear it. "I have something for you. This was Petra's," he said and gave him Eren's patch. "She served proudly. I thought you should have it."

Mr. Ral took the patch with shaky hands, holding it like it was something delicate and fragile. Levi hoped he was channeling his pain into it, rather than holding his misery in and having it gnaw at him from the inside.

Levi glanced around, checking for Eren, and found him staring solemnly at the large fires. For a second there, the reflection of the crackling flames on Eren's face gave him an unsettling and menacing look. Levi shook off creepy the shivers Eren's eerily intent expression sent down his back.

Turning his attention back to Mr. Ral, he wished there was something more he could do. Say something that would make it better. But he knew nothing he could say that would do that. Pretty words weren't going to raise the dead, only make the loss more pronounced. If he was a father and his daughter had perished, being told she was brave and kind and what a great soldier she was would have only served to piss him off because all he'd ever want for his own child was for her to be safe, happy, and alive.

So instead, he stood quietly beside Petra's father, not leaving his side, watching as the pyres sent out large trails of smoke into the dark sky full of twinkling stars.

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