Lyrics to True Colors by Cyndi Lauper (1986)
"I don't need a babysitter," Leia Loud said for the twentieth time since she got home from school that afternoon. "I'm eleven, Mom, basically a grown-up. I can stay by myself."
It was a warm Friday evening in late May and Leia restlessly paced back and forth in her mother's big bedroom, a mixture of anger and despair clutching her chest. She positively seethed at the way her mother was treating her and it took everything she had to not scream and stomp her feet like a toddler. Mom stood at her vanity and put her earrings in, the oversized bulbs around the mirror bathing her haughty features in warm light. "Eleven is too young to stay alone, Leia. If it was just overnight, okay, but it's not."
Leia made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat. "No, it's allll weekend long. All weekend you get to have fun while I'm stuck at home with Lupa of all people."
Four years ago, Mom broke off from Dad's huge harem of sister-wives to, she said, raise Leia in a more normal home. Leia was upset but quickly grew to enjoy being alone with her mother, mainly because she was the only parent Leia really had. Dad worked five jobs to make ends meet and Leia rarely ever saw him. In the beginning, she feared, though only vaguely, that when she left, he would stop being her father and that her brothers and sisters who lived with him would replace her.
Those fears came true, now it was just her and Mom against the world. They lived in a small ranch house two towns north of Royal Woods and enjoyed lunch, shopping trips, and going places together. Mom didn't make her clean her room or blow up her phone if she was out late with friends; she didn't force Leia to eat yucky vegetables or get a weekly physical the way aunt Lisa did. In fact, Mom hardly had any rules at all. Sometimes, it was like they were best friends instead of mother and daughter, and Leia loved it. She adored her mother but she was a strong and independent girl who did not like being told what to do.
Every so often, though, things got weird. Mom would withdraw and look really sad. She'd stare absently out the window and snuggle on the couch with a pillow and one of those dumb romantic comedies she liked so much. She'd spend more time on her laptop and get upset if she thought Leia was looking over her shoulder. That made Leia suspicious and a couple times, she did look over Mom's shoulder. She didn't know, at first, what OKCupid, eHarmony, and Plenty of Fish were but she Googled them and was kind of surprised by the results. Dating sites? Really? Why?
During these strange periods, Mom would jump for her phone every time it buzzed with a text message, and whenever it was silent for too long, she would obsessively check it, her expression either one of hope...or one of hopelessness. More times than Leia liked, Mom would go out and come back late. She never said where she was going, but Leia knew.
On dates.
With men.
A couple times, she came home with someone, and once in a blue moon, she didn't come home at all.
These times scared Leia because Mom was clearly unhappy and she got really grumpy and impatient. Was it something Leia did? Wasn't Mom happy with her?
Would she leave her the way she left Dad?
Leia would lay awake while her mother was gone and stare into the darkness, fear gnawing at her heart and lead heavy in her stomach. Going through that alone was bad, but it was even worse when Mom and her "friend" were in the next room, because Leia could hear them together, her mother's desperate moaning worming its way into the middle of her head and keeping her awake until long after it stopped.
Why?
She asked herself this question a thousand times. Why was this happening? Why did Mom look so forlorn? Why did Mom throw herself at men? Why did the cycle always end with Mom looking sad again, but quickly getting over it?
Leia didn't know, but it did always end, and things went back to normal. Mom would be happy; she wouldn't snap over little things anymore and they would be bff's again.
This time was different, though.
Last month, Mom ran into her old friend Winston at the grocery store. Winston, Mom told her, became a male model in high school and left Royal Woods for New York City. A year ago, he moved back to Royal Woods. He was divorced from another model and they had a son that Winston didn't see very often because he stayed in the city with his mother. Mom and Winston reconnected over lunch and now they were dating.
Seriously.
Leia's first inkling of trouble came from Mom constantly talking about him. She never talked about any of the men she dated. When she said his name, her face glowed with a happiness that inexplicably sent dread into the pit of Leia's stomach.
Her next indication that something was really wrong was when Mom invited Winston over for dinner. As Leia expected from his occupation, he was tall and handsome with blond hair and chiseled features. He didn't have fangs or anything, but Leia instantly disliked him. He and Mom made goo-goo eyes at each other all night, and Leia wanted to throw her drink in his face and make him leave so badly she squirmed.
She liked having Mom all to herself and the thought of Winston swooping in and stealing her away made Leia smolder with rage.
And fear.
Last week,she told Mom she didn't like him. She may have called him a creep and said he was just using Mom. That made Mom mad and they got into a huge argument that ended in Leia storming off in tears and slamming her door. She just wanted everything to stay exactly the way it was. That's all.
Yesterday, Mom told her that she and Winston were spending the weekend at a bed and breakfast on the Upper Peninsula, and Leia's heart dropped into her stomach. Mom was so happy about it that she flitted around like a girl in love.
So happy to be rid of her.
Mom would rather spend the whole weekend with Winston than with her. Mom never got this happy for going anywhere with her, only with that washed up underwear model. Her mother's happiness cut Leia deeply. She shouldn't be this excited to be away from her daughter for two whole days. She shouldn't be this excited for some slob. She was being so selfish and Leia hated it, but couldn't bring herself to start another fight; she didn't know if she could take it.
So far, she had tried everything else. She faked being sick, she begged Mom to stay, she even guilted her, but nothing worked. All Leia could do was sit there and take it.
But she didn't have to be happy about it.
Then Mom dropped the biggest bombshell of this whole tragic campaign. "I asked Lupa to come over and stay with you," she said earlier.
Leia hated babysitters almost as much as she hated Winston, but Lupa? Really? Lupa was, like, the sister she liked least. Liena, at least, would bake and let Leia walk all over her. Loan would keep out of the way and play video games (I don't care what you do, just don't get me in trouble). Lacy would probably spend the whole time slamming her head against a soccer ball. But Lupa, Little Miss gloomy, doomy emo, was a snarky bitch who got off on throwing her weight around.
Presently, the doorbell rang and Leia tensed. "That's probably Lupa," Mom said. She pulled her heels on as she went into the hall, and Leia trailed behind, her head thrown back.
"I'm responsible enough to stay on my own," she protested, giving it one final try.
"You're going to have fun with Lupa. I promise."
"No, I'm not."
Mom sighed. "You need someone."
"I wouldn't if you weren't leaving me."
They were in the living room now, a palatial space dominated by a sectional leather sofa. A glass coffee table sat before the wall mounted plasma screen TV and the beige carpet was so freshly steam cleaned that it looked brand new, too nice to walk on and too tempting not to. Mom pulled the strap of her heel over her ankle and turned. Her expression, one of sadness and hurt with just a tinge of anger threw Leia off. "I'm not leaving you," she said, and a tremble of emotion crept into her voice. "I'm just spending the weekend with Winston. I would never leave you."
It feels like you are, Leia thought but did not say.
Mom knelt down and tentatively touched the side of Leia's face. She started to speak but couldn't find the words. "I really like Winston," she finally said, and Leia got the feeling that that wasn't what she had originally wanted to say. Or at least not all of it. "And I...I'm tired of being alone."
Her words hit Leia like a fist to the stomach and knocked the breath from her lungs. "But you have me," she said.
"That's not what -:
The doorbell rang again and Mom took a deep breath. "Just stay with Lupa for the weekend. Please?"
A lump of emotion formed in Leia's throat and tears tickled the backs of her eyelids, but she only nodded.
Mom flashed a weak smile and ran her fingers through Leia's hair. "Good girl," she said. She got up and went to the door, leaving Leia to collect herself. Leia squeezed her eyes closed and bit her bottom lip so hard she swore it would draw blood.
In the foyer, Mom talked to Lupa, but Leia could scarcely make out what she was saying. A moment later, Lupa came in with her hands thrust into the oversized pockets of her hoodie. Her pale visage was a mask of apathy and her white hair framed her hollow cheeks like falls of dirty snow. She looked around the room and sneered in contempt. Lupa, like most of Leia's family, lived in that landfill at 1216 Franklin Avenue,where the carpets were dirty, the walls splattered with food, and everyone lived on top of each other. Leia's sadness drained away and disdain took its place. She sighed loud enough for Lupa to hear, then stalked over to the couch and threw herself on with a bounce. Lupa just stood there, looking like she was already over being here.
This was going to be a long weekend.
"My number's on the fridge," Mom said as she slung her puse over her shoulder. "So is the number of where we'll be staying. I left some money on the fridge so you can order a couple of pizzas and left a list of emergency numbers."
She came over, bent, and placed a perfunctory kiss to Leia's forehead. "I love you."
"You too," Leia grumbled.
"I'll be back Sunday night. Call if you need anything."
Then she was gone, and Leia was alone.
With Lupa.
She let out an exasperated sigh and crossed her arms even tighter. Lupa lingered in the archway leading to the foyer, then came over and sat on the other side of the couch, her body melting gradually into it until her legs hung over the edge and her shoulder bunched tightly together. It looked like the couch was going to swallow her whole, and Leia wished it would. Leia took a deep breath, and her pert nose crinkled at the stench of cigarettes. It clung to Lupa like a shroud and turned Leia's stomach. She sighed again and Lupa spared her a sidelong glance. "What's your problem?" she asked dispassionately.
"I don't want you here," Leia snapped.
"Yeah? Me either but my mom made me do it. Can't your mom get some dick any closer?"
Leia's chest twisted. "She's not doing that. She's going on a date with her boyfriend." She put a nasty spin on that last word and hugged herself for comfort. She's leaving me for him, she added to herself.
"An all weekend date," Lupa pointed out. "You know they're going to smash."
"No they're not!" Leia cried.
A ghost of a smile played at the corner of Lupa's mouth. "He's gonna knock her up, then he's gonna move in and eat all your fruit snacks."
Something snapped in Leia and fire swept through her like dragon breath. She jumped to her feet and wheeled around to face her half sister, who looked smug and pleased with herself. "I HATE YOU!" Leia yelled. She stomped off to her room and slammed the door so hard it shook in its frame. Anger battered her chest like a violent storm surge and without turning the light on, she began to pace back and forth, her hands curling into hateful fists. This was exactly why she didn't want Lupa here. Lupa was a snarky bitch who got off on being self-superior.
This was the last thing she needed right now.
Shortly, the fury in her breast subsided and she sank onto the edge of the bed. She leaned over and switched the lamp on, a cone of amber light chasing shadows to the corners. She kicked her shoes off and lay back against her pillows, her face arranging in an unconscious pout. Her eyes went to the pink iPhone 20 on the nightstand. If she called Mom and threw a fit, she'd have no choice but to come back.
She reached for it, but stopped herself.
What good would it do? Mom had a decision to make and she had made it. Even if Leia could force her to come back, the knowledge that she left in the first place would weigh heavy on Leia's heart. Mom might be here in body, but she wouldn't be here in spirit. She'd be with Winston.
Leia blew a puff of air that passed her lips with an audible pfffft. She grabbed her phone and went to her Instagram, where she posted photos of herself in skimpy clothes. What could she say? She liked attention. Knowing that she had an audience made her feel special and important, and every like, heart emoji, and comment on her pictures was a warm, heady rush. When she was depressed or upset, she scrolled through her old photos and reread the positive comments to bolster her mood.
Sometime later, while she was engrossed in a glowing and effusive comment from a man old enough to be her grandfather, a sharp knock came at the door, and she jumped. "Food," Lupa said.
Leia's stomach grumbled.
Sitting her phone down, she got up and went into the kitchen, where a giant pizza box sat on the stove, the top open to reveal half a pie covered in weird black things. She studied one for a moment, then recoiled when she realized what it was.
A tiny fish.
"LUPA!"
"What?" Lupa called from the living room, mouth full.
Leia stalked over to the couch and jammed her finger toward the kitchen. "What is that on the pizza?" she demanded.
"Anchovies," Lupa said around her food.
"WHY?"
Lupa blinked. "Because they're good."
"They're so gross, yuck!"
"Pick them off then."
"I am not eating a piece of pizza with fish juice on it. Order me something else."
Lupa swallowed. "No. Eat what we have or eat nothing at all."
Flashing, Leia stomped her foot. "THAT'S MY MOM'S MONEY!"
"Stop being a spoiled little baby and try something new for once."
"IT'S A WHOLE FISH WITH AND HEAD AND EVERYTHING!"
For a moment, Lupa looked at her the way you might look at a man in a dress, then shook her head and went back to eating her pizza.
"Fine," Leia said tightly. "I'll eat something else."
"You do that," Lupa said.
That sort of threat was Leia's last ditch attempt to get her way. It always worked on Mom but it clearly wasn't going to work on Lupa. Lupa didn't care if she went hungry. Mom did. Or at least she used to. If she still cared, she wouldn't have left her alone with Lupa. Mom knew Lupa was mean, but did that matter to her? No, only running off with Winston did.
In the kitchen, Leia ripped open the freezer door and a frozen block of peas fell out, landing on her bare toes. Pain shot up her leg and she let out an agonized yelp. She hopped back on one foot and collided with the counter. All of her emotions bubbled to the surface and she began to cry.
Lupa, a blurry and abstract smeer of black and white through Leia's tears, came in, grabbed two slices of pizza, and slapped them onto her plate. She turned, looked at Leia, and glowered, "What?" she asked disgustedly.
"My foot," Leia said, voice breaking. It wasn't her foot, though, not entirely. It was everything else. It was Mom leaving, anchovies, Lupa, dread, hate, sadness - so much sadness.
"You're such a baby," Lupa said.
The coldness in her older sister's voice pushed Leia over the edge. Crying harder, she shoved past Lupa and ran to her room for the second time that night, flinging the door closed behind her. She threw herself to the bed, buried her face in the pillow, and wept bitterly.
Her life was ruined. Her Mom didn't care about her anymore, her foot throbbed like an infected tooth, and she had to spend the whole weekend with someone who hated her guts. Just a few short weeks ago, everything was perfect, then Winston came along and messed it all up, Lupa was right. He was probably going to move in and she would have to start calling him Dad. The balance and dynamic of hers and Mom's world would be thrown upside down and nothing would ever be the same.
She sniffled and blotted her eyes with the back of her hand. The tears and tapered off, and she felt empty, as though everything had been wrung from her. She rolled onto her side, drew her knees to her chest, and stared at the wall, her tiny chest rising and falling and her eyes gradually drying.
Like that, Leia Loud eventually slept.
The next morning, Leia was up before seven. She showered, dressed in a shirt and a sweater vest, and brushed her hair. Delaying the inevitable, she sat on her bed and carefully painted her toenails, then her fingernails. She listened to the house, but if Lupa was up and about, she wasn't advertising the fact. Not that she made much noise - she was creepy and silent just like her mother. How could someone go hours without talking? How could they just, like, sit there and read a book? God, that's so weird. It's, like, something a serial killer would do.
Lupa had always been like that. When Leia lived with her, Lupa would spend all of her time in her room alone, rarely coming out. When she did bother to slither into the kitchen or living room, she acted like she was better than everyone. If an adult greeted her, she would mumble a response totally against her will, but if it was one of her siblings, she'd ignore them like they weren't even there. If she stayed, she'd pick a remote little spot in the corner and bury her nose in a book or handheld game, and God help you if you happened to make a single sound. YOU'RE BOTHERING ME!
Excuse me for breathing.
She was the complete opposite of Leia. Leia liked socializing and being the center of attention. Lupa lurked in the shadows like a bug. Leia needed to be engaged, Lupa was happy to just stare into space and no nothing, to be nothing. Mom said Lupa had a high IQ and that "most smart people are kind of weird." Lupa? Smart? Ha! Don't make me laugh.
By the time Leia finally left her room, it was past nine and golden morning sunshine cascaded through the window, pooling on the carpet like liquid fire. Lupa sat on the couch with her hands in her pockets and her feet propped up on the coffee table. On TV, a guy sat at a bar and took a stiff drink. "Now go home and get your fucking shine box."
The pizza box sat next to her on the couch, piled with half eaten crusts and fish halves. Leia could smell it as soon as she walked in and her stomach rolled. "This place is a mess," she said, "Mom's not going to be happy."
Lupa turned her head, slow and creaky like a girl in a horror movie, and Leia regretted addressing her. "Don't."
"Whatever," Leia said. She crossed the living room and went into the kitchen, where she made herself a bowl of cereal. She sat alone in the dining room and ate slowly, killing as much time as she could. She checked her phone for a text from Mom.
Nothing.
She typed Good morning and hit SEND.
Putting the phone down, she went back to breakfast, and when she was done, she sat the bowl in the sink. She started to leave, but came up short and cast a look back at the sink. Once she put a dish in there, it was no longer her problem; it was always washed and in the drying rack when she came back. That wouldn't now because Mom wasn't here. If she didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. She went to rinse the bowl, but an idea struck her.
If Mom came home to a huge mess (because Poopa wasn't going to clean), she might be so upset that she never left like this again. Not only that, Lupa would get in trouble.
Leia smiled.
Who's smart now, Poopa?
Now Leia had a purpose. She would wreck this entire house from top to bottom and do it so good that Lupa not only got yelled at by Mom, but by her own Mom too.
This was going to be great.
Back in the dining room, she knocked a potted plant over, and rich, dark soil swept across the hardwood floor. Oops. She turned the thermostat up three degrees - not enough to be noticeable but enough to make Mom mad - and splattered red juice on the wall next to the sliding glass door. It dribbled down the plaster like blood and Leia beamed. Oh, Mom was going to be so mad.
Leaving the mess, she went to Mom's room by way to the living room, where Lupa ate a piece of cold fish-guy pizza and stared at the TV screen. When she reached the hall, Leia relaxed and tip-toed to her mother's room. Looking over her shoulder to make sure Lupa wasn't behind her, she went in.
A neatly-made four poster bed sat in the middle of the room, flanked by a vanity on one side and a nightstand on the other. Leia climbed onto the bed and started to jump, the cover and sheet tangling and twisting beneath her feet. She threw herself down with a bounce and one of the pillows flew off and hit the window. The curtain rod broke and the curtains fell to the floor. Lupa slept in your bed, Mom. She also jumped on it. I told her not to but she wouldn't listen.
Next, she opened each of the dresser drawers and rifled through Mom's clothes, leaving them bunched and wrinkled. She pulled all of the coats, dresses, and blouses in the closet from their hangers and heaped them into a sloppy pile. Now she was sweating and out of breath. She admired her handiwork, then went into the living room. Lupa was where she left her, taking up space and being dumb. Leia sat on the opposite side and whipped out her phone.
Mom hadn't texted back.
Sighing, Leia sat the phone in her lap and watched Lupa from the corner of her eye while pretending to watch TV. You're in for it now, Poopa. No one will trust you ever again. An evil laugh bubbled up in Leia's throat and she swallowed it down.
For a long time, she and Lupa sat in uncomfortable silence, Leia dividing her attention between the phone and the TV. Leia grew impatient as she waited for Mom to text back, and finally broke down, texting her again. Everything okay?
Lupa got up to use the bathroom, and while she was gone, Leia picked her nose, got a big, juicy booger on her finger, and wiped it on Lupa's spot. Lupa came back a few minutes later and plopped down on it without even checking. Hahaha. Dummy.
Did Mom text?
Leia checked her phone again and sighed.
No.
She jittered her foot restless and folded her arms across her chest. Lupa changed the channel and found an episode of My 600 Pound Life: A fat woman sat at a table in a restaurant with a dozen overfull plates in front of her. "I'm sure Dr. Now won't mind if I have a little snack," she said in voiceover. Lupa snorted and Leia gaped. She had never seen someone so big. "Look at her," she marveld.
"It's hard not to," Lupa said.
"She's so big they have to use two cameras."
Lupa coughed but it sounded like a chuckle. "She's not that big. The camera adds ten pounds."
"Yeah, ten pounds, not ten people."
Lupa sucked her lips into her mouth to stifle a laugh, and Leia snickers to herself because it was kind of funny. "Washing her crotch is a two man job," Lupa said.
"I'm just big-boned," Leia mocked.
"It's a glandular issue," Lupa said, "I swear."
They both laughed. Leia checked her phone again, and her mood darkened. Mom still hadn't text back. She threw her head back and exhaled through flaring nostrils. It was almost noon. Why wasn't Mom texting back? She couldn't be asleep still; Mom never slept past eight'o'clock. Leia sent the first text just after nine. She doubted Mom was busy and away from her phone at nine in the morning. Mom always kept her phone at arm's length.
That left only one explanation.
Mom was ignoring her.
She had seen the texts and made the conscious decision to not answer them. Leia could picture her rolling her eyes and setting the phone aside. Who was that, dear? Winston asked. Oh, no one important, darling, Mom replied, just my dumb daughter. Leia's heart jagged in her chest and tears filled her eyes. Is this how it was always going to be now? Mom ignoring her in favor of Winston? What if, gasp, she got pregnant and had his baby? Would she completely turn her back on her?
Would Leia have a place in her mother's new family?
Leia drew a watery sigh. The walls were closing in on and her and the air was suddenly heavy, suffocating. Her chest heaved with the frantic pounding of her heart and her bottom lip started to quiver. She was being melodramatic, she told herself, but though she understood that on an intellectual level, she couldn't help it anymore than a drunk can keep himself from the bottle. Hot tears began to spill down her cheeks and she knew with a sinking heart that she couldn't hold them back. Lupa would laugh at her or call her a baby, and Leia couldn't take that, not right now, not when it felt like her entire world was falling apart.
Getting to her feet, she brushed past Lupa, already starting to cry. Lupa looked after her with a blank expression. "What now?" she asked. The dismissive and disdainful inflection in her voice made Leia cry even harder. She slammed her door behind her and flung herself onto the bed, her tears soaking through her pillow case. It was dumb of her to be like this, it wasn't the end of the world, but she couldn't help it. Her Mom was going to marry that stupid Winston loser and she was going to love him more than she loved Leia.
I might as well start packing, Leia thought. I can move back with Dad and share a room with Poopa.
That thought sent a chill down her spine. She didn't want to live with Dad and all the others, she didn't want to sleep in Lupa's smelly, creepy room; she wanted Winston to die and for everything to go back to normal. Was that really so much to ask? Was she a horrible, selfish person for wanting her mom back? For not wanting to lose her?
She sniffed and wiped a string of snot from her upper lip. What point was there? If Mom didn't leave her for Winston, it'd just be someone else down the road. If she was that easily replaceable to Mom, what was to stop...this...from happening? It was like death: Inevitable. All people are built with an internal clock ticking down, and Mom was built with -
A knock at the door dashed that thought to bits. "What?" she called.
The knob turned and Lupa came in.
Leia hid her face in the pillow. "Go away," she said.
Instead, Lupa came up to the side of the bed and stopped. Leia could feel Lupa standing over her like a vulture waiting for her to die so that she could pick all the flesh from her bones. When Lupa poked her shoulder, she tensed. "Leave me alone."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
The bed dipped beneath Lupa's weight, and Leia scooted away.
"Come on," Lupa said, "what's wrong?"
"Nothing," Leia said, "you don't care anyway."
Lupa shrugged one shoulder. "I mean...I care a little bit. You're, you know, related to me and all."
Was this a trap? If she opened her and told Lupa what was bothering her, would Lupa make fun of her? Call her a baby again? Take it back home and spread it around like chlamydia?
Lupa's hand fell on her shoulder, and Leia looked up at her. There was something in the older girl's touch, her eyes, that gave her pause.
Sincerity.
Leia knew that Lupa wouldn't make fun of her...not this time. She didn't know how she knew this, but she did.
Sighing, Leia laid on her side and collected her thoughts. Lupa stretched out on her back and laced her hands over her chest. She stared up at the ceiling and waited patiently for Leia to begin. "It's...it's my mom," Leia said, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. "She's dating this guy and sometimes she gets weird and -"
"She's lonely," Lupa stated. There was no doubt or uncertainty in her voice; she spoke with the confidence of a woman who knew exactly what she was talking about.
"I doubt -"
"No, she is," Lupa said. "I overheard Mom and Aunt Lana talking about it. It's pretty obvious. She's always posting that stuff on Facebook about wanting romance and asking where the good men are. Those are classic signs of someone being lonely."
Leia opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. "But...she has me."
"You're her kid," Lupa said. "She needs a partner. Someone she can love and who loves her. Someone she can, you know, go through life with."
But she has me, Leia thought.
As though she had read her mind, Lupa said, "Everyone needs a...you know...partner." Color crept into her face."It's different than having a kid. Or a cat. That's just how we are."
"Even you?" Leia blurted. "You like being alone," she added.
For a long moment, Lupa was silent. "Yeah," she said, "even me."
Now her cheeks were bright red and Leia realized Lupa was embarrassed. "Sometimes I get really lonely. I just want someone who can...make me feel good and happy and stuff. I see what Dad and my mom have and I want the same thing so bad, but, lucky me, I have social anxiety and meeting new people is hard."
Leia's brow furrowed. "You do?"
"Yeah," Lupa said. "I get really nervous around people. I just wanna cuddle someone sometimes and I guess that just won't happen. I'll be alone forever and that's scary. Going through life by yourself, no one to be with you in the twilight of your life…." she trailed off and sighed. "I don't know, it bothers me for some reason."
A lump of emotion welled in her throat, and Leia's heart went out to her. She knew that feeling all too well. She'd been feeling lonely and forgotten ever since Mom started dating Winston.
She hesitated for a moment, then snuggled up to her sister, laying one hand on Lupa's stomach and molding her body to the older girl's. Lupa tensed. "What are you doing?" Lupa asked.
"Cuddling."
"Why?"
"You said you wanted someone to cuddle with," Leia said, "and you sounded like you really needed it."
Lupa grasped for a reply but couldn't come up with one, so she haltingly put her arm around Leia's shoulders instead. Leia burrowed deeper into her sister's arms, peace and warmth enveloping her. After a while, Lupa brushed her fingers through Leia's hair and lightly grazed her nails over Leia's scalp. Tendrils of sensation spread through Leia's body and she purred in the back of her throat, her hand beginning to unconsciously stroke up and down Lupa's stomach. Lupa ran Leia's hair through her fingers and Leia was shocked and disturbed when her nipples stiffened. Her brain yelled at her to pull away from Lupa, but her body urged her closer to Lupa's. She hooked her leg over Lupa's. Her cotton clad center pressed against Lupa's bare thigh, and the heat soaking through Leia's panties was mind-melting.
Now Lupa's breathing was heavy and she scratched Leia's head. Leia nuzzled against her big sister and the movement of her crotch against Lupa's leg made her heart race. She looked up at Lupa and their gazes locked. Face red, lips parted, Lupa sucked shallow sips of air through her teeth, her eyes hazed with the same exciting and confusing emotions that fogged Leia's brain. The strangest sensation to taste Lupa's lips came over Leia, and she pushed up on one elbow, her other hand slipping up Lupa's shirt and finding her beating heart.
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
Lupa gently cupped Leia's cheek and caressed her thumb over Leia's cheek bone. Her breast jiggled crazily under Leia's touch and Leia swallowed with an audible click.
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
Their noses skimmed and their ghosted, the dank taste of Lupa's breath filling Leia's mouth and intoxicating her senses. Lupa made the first move, her tongue coyly touching Leia's. Leia flicked Lupa's tongue with hers, and after one final pause, they kissed deeply.
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
Holding each other's faces in their hands, Lupa and Leia laid back on the bed, their tongues making sweet and delicate love to each other. Lupa's body quivered with the beating of her heart and her breath turned ragged, needy. Leia could feel her desperation.
She didn't want to be alone anymore.
And neither did Leia.
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
Leia pinned Lupa's hands above her head and straddled her. Lupa watched her with love drunk eyes and Leia's chest tingled with warmth. She bent over, tossed her hair out of the way, and kissed her sister.
Show me a smile then
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
Naked, arms and legs thrown over one another, Leia and Lupa kissed and touched with a need known only to the lost. Leia traced her hand along the slope of Lupa's hip and Lupa kneaded one of Leia's tiny breasts, rolling the nipple between her thumb and forefinger and squeezing lightly.
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
Now Lupa was on top, her hands pressed flat on Leia's chest and her hips rocking. Their sexes slid and grinded wetly together, the heat of their passion getting higher and hotter, their leaking faster, their movements looser and sloppier as they rushed headlong toward their mutual orgasm. Scalding pressure rose in Leia's stomach and her little body tensed: Her butt clenched, her back arched, and her heart jackhammered against her ribcage.
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
Leia threaded her fingers through Lupa's and at the moment of climax, they squeezed each other's hands to let the other one know that they weren't alone.
So don't be afraid to let it show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
It took them a long time to come down from their high. Leia was in Lupa's arms, warm, safe, and loved, and her mind slowly worked with the realization of what she had just done.
Fallen in love.
They took turns holding each other, and that night, they slept together in Leia's bed.
Sunday evening, Mom came home just before dusk. As soon as she heard the key in the lock, Leia knew that Lupa had to leave, and her mood tanked. Lupa squeezed her hand and smiled at her. They might part, but they would never be alone.
Mom came in and sat her purse on the end table. "Hey. How was your weekend?"
"It was alright," Lupa said.
"Just alright?" Leia asked.
"Just barely," Lupa grinned.
Mom passed through the living room, pausing to give Leia a kiss. "That's great. I knew you two would have fun."
She went down the hall, and Leia sighed. "I don't want you to go."
"Yeah," Lupa said, "me either, but we can hang. You can even come into my room."
LOL, that was a rare honor.
"I better get going," Lupa said.
She leaned in and they kissed, eyes closing.
Only to fly back open when Mom screamed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM?"
Lupa raised her brow quizzically, and Leia flashed a sheepish smile.
"Oops," she said.