Teacup

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: Petra asks Levi why he holds his teacup the way he does.

I deleted the previous Ch.93 (Auction) since it was pretty half baked and I wasn't happy with it. Not sure why it showed the story as updated when I removed the chapter, though.

Just go to sleep already. Petra ordered herself. It didn't work.

After another hour, she finally gave up and left her bed. Maybe some hot milk would do the trick. She'd bought nutmeg last week and her father had sent her honey. The warm, cozy drink would surely help calm her mind and get her ready for sleep.

She noticed candlelight as she approached the kitchen. She knew who it was before she even entered. "Captain Levi," Petra said, blowing out her own candle.

"You should have been asleep hours ago, Petra," he said. "What're you doing up?"

"I can't sleep."

Levi grunted and went to grab something from the cupboards.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the teacup from him.

Neither spoke for a while, sitting in silence, sipping their tea.

Eventually, Petra's eyes drifted back to him, breaking out of her daydreams and focusing on his hands. "Why do you do that?" Petra asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Levi stared back at her in a silent question.

"Hold your teacup that way." She nodded to it with her chin. He looked down at his fingers gripping the teacup by the rip. "The guys and I came up with all kinds of explanations," she said. Placing her face in her palm, Petra laughed. "Personally, I think you do it to look cool and quirky and mysterious."

Levi scoffed. "That's not it."

"Are you sure?" Petra teased him.

He very slowly turned the teacup on the table. "I'm sure you've heard rumors of my background."

"I heard you used to be a thug in the Underground."

"I grew up really poor. There was a... We had a neighbor who was throwing out a broken teacup one day and I thought it was so pretty when I saw it. It was so delicate and nice. White and gold and blue—I couldn't even being to describe that blue color. Anyway, you see, the handle had broken off so she was getting rid of it but realized I was really taken with its beauty. It wasn't really something you saw down there, especially in the crappy area where we lived. I was completely drawn to that broken teacup."

"She gave it to you."

"She did. That teacup became something of a prized possession of mine. My mother told me what it was for and I guess maybe that's where my curiosity about tea began. She used to put water in it and I'd pretend I was drinking tea."

Petra smiled at the cute image in her head.

"Since there was no handle I had to hold it by the top."

"Why didn't you just hold it like this?" Petra wrapped her hands around the body of her almost empty teacup and held it up.

Levi clicked his tongue. "Don't be ridiculous, Petra. You have to play pretend correctly. Tea is hot."

"Yes." Petra chuckled. "Of course, you're right."

"One day my mother got some tea leaves as a surprise, just enough to make me tea. Unfortunately, I got overexcited and grabbed the cup without thinking, not hearing her warning. It was hot and burned my hand so I immediately dropped it. I sobbed uncontrollably when it fell to the floor and shattered."

"Aww," she said sympathetically.

Levi looked off to the side. "I don't know why I cried so hard over a broken cup but barely even shed a tear when she died."

They were quiet again.

"Sorry. I made it morbid and awkward."

"It's fine. I don't mind." Petra finished the last of her lukewarm tea.

"I'll clean these." Levi reached over and grabbed her teacup. "You go to bed."

She suppressed a yawn. "Goodnight."

As he waited before the stove, Levi found himself admiring the stunning tea set once again. It was small, just a teapot with two cups and saucers. Beautiful golden vines wrapped around the pretty white surface with bluish-green flowers. It sparkled even in the dim candlelight.

"You really shouldn't have," he said. Yet he couldn't stop adoring the tea set. "But you do have a good eye."

Tempted as he had been, he'd never actually purchased a tea set for himself. It wasn't exactly a necessity. The Corps didn't have the Military Police's excessive funding and Levi often purchased cleaning supplies on his own dime. He couldn't afford to waste money on random pretty tea sets that caught his eye now and then.

Soon the tea was ready and he poured it into the pot. Levi felt great pleasure in pouring one cup for him and one for Petra.

"Let me try holding it the normal way," he said, fingers curling around the handle. Levi kept the saucer under it, half afraid the thin little handle wouldn't be able to hold the cup's weight with the tea in it. "Yes, I know. I'm being paranoid but I feel like it might break if I don't support it."

When he had dropped the teacup as a child he'd bawled his eyes out. If he ruined Petra's gift that she so lovingly bought and wrapped up for him, he wouldn't cry but something in his heart would shatter.

Levi huffed slightly as another frightening thought came to him. "Now I'm afraid I'll break it in my own hands." With his freakish strength, it would be so easy. The searing pain that would be caused by the hot liquid spilling all over his hands wouldn't hurt nearly as much as the torment he'd feel for destroying her precious gift to him. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," he said warily. "But I suppose me actually using and enjoying my gift would make you happier than leaving it to collect dust."

Footsteps came from outside and Levi quieted down.

Eren came through the open entryway. "Captain Levi," he said. He took in the Special Ops Squad's kitchen/dining room, empty save for the two of them. "Were you talking to someone?"

Levi ignored the question. "Something you need, Eren?"

Eren's eyes lingered on the pretty teacup with a steaming, rich, caramel-colored liquid that sat before an empty chair across from Levi. "That's a nice tea set. Did you buy it?"

"Petra gave it to me."

Eren's expression became startled.

"She bought it before she died, obviously," Levi explained. "I was cleaning out her room to send her personal things back to her father when I found it. There was a birthday note attached to the package and it was addressed to me."

"Why didn't you tell us it's your birthday today?"

"It's not. With the mission to retake Wall Maria starting in twenty-four hours, I figured I might as well open it now in case I don't come back."

"Of course you'll come it back," Eren said at once. "You always do."

And that's the problem. Levi knew Eren didn't realize how his words could be painful. I always make it back but everyone else slowly stops joining me when we return. This time too he expected to lose more people. The question was never if but how many more friends and comrades would die in every mission.

"Tomorrow night we'll head for Shinganshina after sunset," Levi said. "You need to get as much sleep as possible. We can't have you, of all people, sleep-deprived."

"Yes, sir." Eren sent one last glance toward the lonely teacup before he left, not asking who it was for.

Twenty-four hours, Levi thought. Highly unlikely as it was that he might not make it back, it was always a possibility. Levi knew he wasn't invincible. He had to make use of Petra's beautiful gift before they left. She'd taken the time to find it and spent her hard-earned money on it. It would be a waste and he'd regret it if he died without cherishing her present at least once.

Levi lifted the teacup from the saucer. His irrational fear, unsurprisingly, turned out to be unfounded. The cup didn't collapse from the weight of the tea and the handle didn't break either.

"Reeves Company sure has some quality tea leaves," he said in approval, enjoying the flavor on his tongue. Flegel had made good on his father's promise and given him some of their best product. "I know you weren't much of a tea drinker but I think you would have liked it."

Levi was sure he looked like a lunatic, talking to air. But he didn't care. And who was here to judge him?

"I'll admit, it's pretty convenient holding the teacup like you're supposed to. Less chance of accidentally spilling the tea on yourself or burning your fingers if the cup's filled too high." Levi brought the cup to his lips. "And my hand also doesn't get in the way when I try to take a sip. It's much easier this way, I guess."

Steam rose gently from the other teacup.

"But it's far too late for me to correct this habit. You know what they say. Can't teach an old dog new tricks."

The empty chair didn't reply.

"Maybe I'll try to do it the correct way with your tea set. No promises, though."

Silence continued to be his only companion.

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