Late in the afternoon Natasha observed that Luca slept on the sofa in the living room. He looked like an angel. She came over and removed his sneakers and carried him to bed. The kid was heavy. How fast these kids grow up, she thought. She took him to Miguel's room as a teenager and laid him on the single bed. He stood there for a moment, watching the games and books his son used when he was younger. Today, a trained, married man, he no longer used his room. But Natasha wanted to keep it that way for her grandchildren.

When he met Reade they were also young, passionate about life. The two were thirsty to do justice and the path they followed was precisely this, they worked for the FBI arresting bandits and terrorists. Both had ups and downs in their careers and also in their personal lives. There were times when they almost gave up on each other and on themselves as well.

Moments of her existence came back to her, memories of a remote time where some things happened that she didn't like to remember, but also things that were necessary for her maturity. The woman brought back memories of when she realized she was in love with Reade...

Close of business. After a tense day Tasha arrives at the locker room and Reade is getting ready to leave. The brunette watches him as he gets his things from the closet. He's looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his suit and tie.

- Hey, Reade! Are you going to game at Patterson's apartment, tonight? - Tasha asks looking at him sideways.

- Ah, I can't go. - He denies turning to her. - I already have an appointment. - Reade replies with a shrug.

- Hum. Are you dating with a girl? - She jokes approaching and slapping him on the shoulder.

- Yes. I'm dating with someone. It has been a few weeks. - He claims keeping the badge and gun in his closet.

Tasha had noticed his different behavior in the past few weeks. Reade had been refusing invitations to watch games, a bar with friends. And that only happened when he was dating a woman. She should have known.

- Got it. - Natasha loses her smile and is embarrassed. - Okay. So I'll have to find a way to win alone in this game.

- You can. You always wins. - The smile he gave her when he said it broke it and Tasha felt her heart racing. God, what was happening to her? It had been a while since she felt anything like that.

It had been awhile since Reade had really gotten involved with someone and Tasha already imagined that at some point he would want a woman to take her seriously. She had also tried a few times after she came to the FBI, but had found no one to make her sigh with anxiety to find him after a tiring day at work. The last one she got involved in, a football coach, was a great guy, but Tasha couldn't feel her heart racing with him, she even tried, managed to take the relationship for more time, but a few months ago it ended. She thought it better that way.

- Bye. - She said goodbye and left for the night.

Tasha stayed a little late with some friends at Patterson's house and left there and was unable to return to her apartment. She knew where she would like to go. She walked through the dark night and came to the door of a clandestine casino in the suburbs of New York. The same one she had attended for a while when she was at NYPD. He went in and lost track of time playing and betting. Natasha was very excited because she was winning the games.

There was a time that this was her refuge. When he lost Andy, her partner at the police station. That was a hard blow for the latin and she found refuge at the gaming tables. She went to rock bottom at that time. After she joined the FBI, she sought help from a support group, but had not been in meetings for months. She thought she was over that moment in her life.

Natasha came home very drunk, it was already dawn and she wasn't alone. She kissed another man wanting to taste Reade's mouth, had sex with a stranger wondering what sex with him would be like. She knew she had spent the night looking for Reade in someone who would never be him.

Reade would never know how she was feeling. He was fine. She would never deserve him. Tasha found herself toxic and dirty from everything she was doing with her life. The brunette knew that being with him would not be possible and she let herself be taken and fell asleep in the arms of another.

The next day she arrived early at SIOC and went to the gym to train. Reade arrived shortly thereafter. She looked at him quickly, but didn't fail to notice how strong his arms were under the shirt. He was a very handsome man and took good care of his body. She also worked out and took care of herself, not least because their profession required it.

- Good Morning! - He said climbing on the running machine.

- Hello! - I didn't think you would come so soon, because you had plans for the night ... - Tasha said trying to focus on her activity on the exercise bike.

- Yes. But she had to go home, because she had no one to stay with her son all night. - Reade said.

- Ah, so she has a son. - It looked more serious than Tasha imagined. - And have you met him?

- No, not yet. I haven't met her family yet.

- But all this time, what are you waiting for? - Tasha found this attitude strange, as they had been together for weeks.

- It's her brother. - He said.

- What about him? Is him too jealous? - The brunette asked laughing.

- Kurt Weller.

- What about him?

- He is her brother. - He confessed.

- Reade! Are you crazy? - Natasha stopped the exercise she was doing and scolded him. - Dating the boss's sister?

- At first I didn't know and now we have been together for a while and we are planning to tell him. - He said smiling.

- So it's really serious. - Tasha tried not to show disappointment in her voice.

- Of course it is! Do you think I would beat around Kurt's sister? - He said.

- I don't think you will have much of a problem with Weller now that you only have eyes for Jane. - Tasha said laughing, referring to the short-haired brunette recently transferred from the Los Angeles office to New York.

Jane was an excellent professional, spoke several languages, knew how to handle any type of weapon. Tasha thought she was a bit sinister, but she was proving to be a great person and a good field partner. And Kurt hadn't taken his eyes off her since she arrived.

The following weeks went by normally and Natasha went out at night at least three times a week and what she found were games, alcohol and sex with strangers. She knew she was destroying herself, but she still hadn't found the strength to get out of this life.

By this time Patterson had started dating David, Weller and Jane were going out and Reade was with Sarah. He had told her that he had dined at Weller's house a few times in the past few weeks. And the brunette found herself more and more alone. What she didn't do was harm her work. She was at SIOC every day on time and did her best to do her job and was always recognized for her good performance.

- Tasha, are we going out for a drink today? - Reade called Tasha when they were getting ready to leave.

- What? Aren't you going out with Sarah? - Tasha asked suspiciously.

- No. - Reade just shook his shoulders.

- What happened? - Tasha approached him seriously. - You haven't been out with me or any of your friends in weeks.

- There was nothing, Tasha. - The boy answered seriously. - I only called you because I thought you weren't going to do anything.

- I... already have an appointment. - She answered. - It won't work today.

Tasha wanted to go out with him. She really wanted it. But she was ruined, she owed her a little high bet and had already committed to a rematch for that night, because she felt she would win to pay what she owed. And after that, she was planning to stop playing.

- Tasha, I may be a little bit away for the past few weeks, but I'm realizing there's something going on with you. - Reade said sincerely, because he felt he was missing from his friend. - Are you getting out with someone? Is it? - He asked smiling.

- No. I'm not going out with 'someone'. - She giggled and shook her head. - Do you think anyone would want to go out with me and take me seriously, Reade? I think not. - Tasha said sadly.

- Tasha, what's going on? You weren't like this. - Reade worried about his friend. - Look, if you need to talk, I'll always be here.

- It's not happening anything. Thanks. - Tasha took her bag. – I gotta go.