A/N Someone listed only as "guest" got most of the trivia question right! *Loud noises and confetti* It was George to Alanna in the second book just before she marches off to war. And the other time, it was Alanna to Jonathan, but not at the end of the first book. Good guess though. She does say a few things that are very similar at that time. So guessing is still open, and now you have a hint. :)

Also, important PSA- Tortall: A Spy's Guide is coming out at the end of this month (Oct 2017)! It's been waaay too long since we've had a new Tortall book. I'm so excited!

Alright, on to this chapter. I know this has been done many times before, but I couldn't resist - here's an extended version of what happened on the night of Alanna's 17th birthday told from Jonathan's perspective. Don't worry, I keep to the T rating.

Disclaimer - much of the dialogue in this chapter is lifted directly from the book.

It was Alanna's 17th birthday, and Jonathan of Conte couldn't stop thinking about the birthday girl.

Her birthday meant she would only be his squire for another year and a half, and that he had spent a full two years wrestling with his feelings for her. She was an excellent squire, she was his best friends, and she seemed to have a knack for saving his life, but she didn't want anything more from him. Ever since they had marched off to war together, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about just how much he did want more. But she had sworn off love, and he didn't want to harm their relationship. Of course, he had still been unable to keep from kissing her twice and treating her poorly when he was at his most frustrated with his feelings.

And then there was Delia. She was beautiful, and she kept things interesting. She was a good distraction, but not good enough. Despite that, Jonathan figured he would probably bring her to his bed tonight. It was better than fighting to hold himself back from whatever he might say to Alanna.

It all went according to plan until halfway through a party that evening. He walked in with Gary but quickly gravitated towards Delia's side. They danced and flirted until she left him alone on a balcony while she went to go freshen up.

Alone for a few minutes, Jonathan's thoughts had drifted back to Alanna. He scanned the gardens below where a lady was standing by herself. He looked at the lady again. Clearly thinking so much about Alanna was getting to him. Then she walked. His mind hadn't been playing tricks on him! That was definitely his squire down there.

Forget Delia. He was going for it.

He rushed down to the garden and found Alanna's cloak on a bench. Be natural, he thought to himself. It's Alanna. My Alanna.

"Hullo," he said, with forced casualness. "I think this is yours."

She slid the wig from her hair. "How did you know it was me, Jonathan?"

Because I know you better than anyone, he thought. Out loud he said, "I guessed. And then I saw how you walked, and I was sure." He took her hand as he said it. He was finally going to go for it.

With some surprise, he saw a charm he recognized on a chain around her neck. "What's this?" he asked warmly.

"It's a charm to- to keep me from having children. Mistress Cooper gave it to me a-a long time ago," she stammered.

Such a perfect opening! "Have you ever tried it out?" he asked as he put his arm around her. He was really quite impressed with his own smoothness.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked gruffly.

"This." Swiftly he did what he had wanted to do for so long. He kissed her again and again. When she didn't protest, he began unlacing her bodice.

"No!" Alanna exclaimed all of a sudden, grabbing her laces back. "I was crazy to think- Jonathan, please."

She was terrified, he realized, and she was shaking too hard to re-lace her bodice. Reluctantly, he took the laces and laced them for her.

"You're fighting was has to be," he said. "You know it as well as I do."

"I-I know no such thing. I promised myself once that I'd never love a man! Maybe I almost broke that promise just because of the moonlight and silliness-"

"Stop it," he told her sternly. How could he make her understand? He finished lacing her bodice and made her look at him.

"We belong to each other. Is that silliness? Surely you've realized all along that this had to happen."

He waited for an answer, but none came. He had finally taken the risk, but she was sticking to her stubborn opposition to love. Jonathan was more exasperated than he intended to be.

"Go away before I change my mind."

She ran.

Jonathan stood in the same place for a moment thinking over the exchange. "Before I change my mind" That's what I said to her?! I am such an idiot, he internally berated himself. Now I've lost my chance and been a total prig- a gods-cursed idiot!

He sank down on the bench. That was that. She had rejected him. Now all that was left was to salvage the rest of their relationship. He couldn't have her hate or fear him. After a little while of sitting in the garden, he resolved to go to bed and work on smoothing things over in the morning. He would apologize and assure her that he wouldn't say another word about it unless she wanted him to. Alanna would forgive him. She always did. He just wished that were enough for him.

He trudged back to his room, having forgotten entirely about Delia. He entered and began quietly getting ready for bed. Suddenly there was a knock on their adjoining door.

"Jon?" came Alanna's voice.

This was unexpected. Okay, just apologize and be a good friend, Jonathan chided himself as he opened the door.

Alanna stood there in her night clothes looking up at him. "I'm scared. Help me, please?"

Jonathan promptly forgot his plan. "I'm scared, too. At least we can be scared together." He led her into his room and shut the door.

"What are you afraid of?" She asked timidly.

Jonathan turned his penetrating gaze on her. "I'm afraid of how much and how long I've wanted this. I'm afraid of how this will change our relationship. And I'm afraid of scaring you away again."

She hesitantly reached for his hand. "I-I'm not going to run away this time."

He took her other hand so he held both of hers in his. "What are you afraid of, Alanna?"

"I'm afraid of love, and what it did to my father. I'm afraid to give away that part of myself, and -" she swallowed hard. "I'm afraid of what I feel for you."

He smiled at her and led her to sit with him on the edge of his bed. "You've given me so much, and it almost feels wrong to ask for more. But I meant what I said. We belong to each other."

She nodded, then turned her gaze to the floor. "I want to be the one in your bed tonight. I think I've wanted that for a long time."

Jonathan put a finger under her chin, raising her face to his and kissed her softly at first, then harder.

When he stopped for a moment, she whispered, "Uh, I'm also, well, I don't, I've never- "

"Shhh. I know. Just trust me."

She pulled back just far enough to fully meet his eyes. The look she gave him told him all that he needed to know. It was a look full of admiration, devotion, and total vulnerability. "I trust you, Jon."

That simple declaration stirred something in him. As he leaned down to kiss her again, he resolved to do everything he could to be worthy of that look and that trust.

She surrendered to him as he gently awakened new sensations in her. And as he lay there later that night with a sleeping Alanna wrapped firmly in his arms, he couldn't think of anything that had ever felt more right.