"I knew this wouldn't be good the moment you called me out," Gintoki moaned, forking out the last remaining coins in his wallet to pay for the dango he had just inhaled.
"You lost at rock, paper, scissors. So you pay the price."
"Literally," Gintoki complained. "Haven't you stolen enough from me, tax-robber? Anyway, how do you always win at rock, paper scissors?"
"It's a game of strategy, not chance." Sougo shrugged and licked the chocolate from his fingertips. Gintoki wept into his wallet for a few minutes, wafting away the dust that billowed out of it in despair. Sougo munched away on his final dango with his usual poker-face. Once he finished, he wiped his hands on Gintoki's yukata whilst he was distracted and sighed contentedly. "So," he began, "what are you going to do?"
"About what?"
"I'm sure you've seen the news." He had. He knew what the discussion was about and he'd basically avoided thinking about it for the past week. Hear no evil and there is no evil, as far as he was concerned. "Give it two days and your name will be top of the list," Sougo commented and deftly avoided Gintoki's attempt to cover his mouth.
"I don't wanna think about it."
"You'll be locked up, at minimum. At most ..."
"I said I don't want to think about it," he wailed, kicking his feet in protest. "All this shit was supposed to be done and put away with. Why are they stirring it back up? Didn't their mothers teach them to forgive?"
"Kristen lost more than half his army during the war. He's still a bit pissed at us samurai."
"I figured. I remember booting his troops so hard they orbited Saturn twice."
"Like I said, top of the list." Sougo twirled the wooden dango stick between his fingers. He let it roll a few times, then snapped it in half. Gintoki winced. "So, what are you going to do?"
"Ignore my problems until they go away."
"Clearly Hijikata hasn't pieced two and two together yet."
"He has other things on his mind at the moment." And Gintoki was grateful for that.
"In all seriousness," Sougo held firm eye-contact with him and even looked slightly concerned, "if you don't get out of kabuki soon, you'll be taken. This force is only temporary, if you escape for now, it'll all die down again."
"You know I'm not going anywhere." Gintoki replied. The glow of the sun on his face and the buzz of people energised him, the sense of familiarity and warmth was unheard-of anywhere else. How could he leave?
"I didn't think you would." And Gintoki knew that was true. "So I'm asking, what are you going to do? If you fight them, you'll become even more of a criminal. If you let them take you ..."
"Don't worry your little head," he patted Sougo's soft, brown hair with one hand and smiled as broadly as he could. "I'll figure something out."
Sougo looked like he wanted to say something and his mouth twisted a little. In the end, they parted ways without those words passing between them. He didn't know if that was for better or worse.
["This afternoon, the terrorist group Skylark claimed responsibility for the attack on Kabuki train station with a chilling online video message to the newly formed SparrowHawk. The video showed masked samurai discussing their further intent to destroy the bakufu. They gave no detail, but hinted at future attacks like this one. In response, General Kristen, as he is now recognised, publicly released the list of samurai his team are hunting down. He made no comment on this when we questioned him earlier this evening."]
Hijikata looked at himself in the mirror.
He hadn't looked at himself for two weeks following the incident and after that shock, he'd removed anything reflective from his room. He didn't even like unsheathing his katana because the glistening silver reflected someone weak. Even now, he wasn't used to looking at his new body. More than half a year on and he still felt sick looking at the vulnerable frame staring back at him with empty eyes. He had decided to punish himself by looking once a day now. He'd force himself to take in that scrawny, completely unattractive bag of bones every day, and with each look he'd fuel himself with desire to be how he was again.
It was a long road, though.
All his muscle had wasted away and he was only just getting it back. His record number of consecutive push ups had literally returned to the starting point. He was struggling through nine at the minute, and each day tried for ten. When he got to ten, he would curse himself until he got eleven. And he'd never be satisfied. Never.
He hadn't fought since that day, either. Well, he had duelled once with Yamazaki and been so utterly humiliated as his opponent actually took the effort to lower the power of his blows; he vowed never to try again. Not until he was stronger than ever. The look in Yamazaki's eyes had been terrifying: had he really become so weak that even Zaki could show disappointment? There was somebody else's eyes he was unwilling to meet, too.
His useless arms, scrawny legs, flat and un-toned stomach, pecs level with his ribs, his weak grip and breakable wrists … Of course Gintoki would be disgusted by it. He just hadn't ever anticipated just how unattractive he had become to him. The point where he'd … close his eyes when they had sex.
Was he really that grotesque?
He turned away from the mirror and picked up a training bokuto, gripping it as firmly as he could with eyes flashing determinedly. Hijikata was going to get stronger. He needed to. The image of Gintoki that time doing anything but look down at him burned red in his memory. He remembered when Gintoki would kiss his thighs, taste his neck, trace his stomach with his lips and love him all over … those days were not lost. He would get them back. Along with the prideful eyes of Kondo and the admiration of his subordinates, and Sougo would return to his high-level assassination attempts not these pitiful pranks, and criminals would show him pure terror once more.
One more swing. One more push up. One more run. Swing harder. Run faster. Get it all back. Get it all back. Get it all back.
"You make the phone call!" Kondo pushed the device towards Sougo.
"Eh, me?" Sougo blinked. "Is that okay?"
Yamazaki scrambled to take it off him, "Of course it's not! Commander, how could you leave something like that to the captain!"
"What's wrong? I was going to get straight to the point!"
"You'll give danna a heart attack. Commander, please phone him yourself." Kondo squirmed. Sougo offered out his hand but Yamazaki was as stubborn as he dared to be.
"I don't want to call him," the commander complained and wobbled his bottom lip, "What if I say something wrong?"
"It has to be a lot better than how ever Okita-taicho was planning to break the news." He sighed, exhausted. "Fine, let me call him."
"Is that okay, Zaki?!" Kondo's eyes glittered gratefully.
The phone rang in his hand and Yamazaki tried to ignore Sougo when he clicked his teeth in irritation. The ringing stopped, but there was a scrambling and yelling on the other end before a female voice responded, "Who is it?" {Kagura, get off my face! That hurts!}
"It's Yamazaki, can I speak to danna?" The girl clicked her tongue in eerily the same way as Sougo, blowing air through her lips in blatant annoyance.
{It's for you, smelly.}
{Don't hit me with the – OUCH. YOU- … I'LL BREAK YOUR STUPID FINGERS, KID! I DON'T HAVE MERCY FOR LITTLE BRATS, YOU KNOW!}
"Hello?" Eventually, the shouting died away.
"It's me, Yamazaki."
"Oh, Jimmy. What's up?"
"Just thought we'd let you know, uh …" He hadn't meant to leave an awkward silence but he was unable to find the right way to say what he needed to. Sougo took the opportunity to snatch the phone.
"Danna, Hijikata nearly killed himself-"
"TAICHOU!" Yamazaki complained. "I was trying to break the news nicely!"
"Eh?" Gintoki's voice was small and Yamazaki hastened to correct the situation.
"Ah, no, what happened is he had a small fit. He says he remembered something and we think it was a panic attack. We found him early enough to calm him down and he's resting up in bed for now."
"You can come and see him if you want. He's absolutely fine though. It was only a small episode, not like before."
"I see." He really wasn't giving much back. Yamazaki couldn't judge his expression.
"Is that … okay?"
"Ah, yeah ..." he mumbled. "Thanks for letting me know."
"You're welcome ..."
"Then, bye bye."
"Bye."
The line cut off.
"So?" Kondo looked hopeful.
"Did he have a heart attack?" Sougo asked, innocently.
"I really wish I could hit you, captain."
"Is the vice-commander not here?" Kristen boomed across the room as he scanned the rows of people seated before him.
"Our vice-commander isn't well. I hope you will understand, General." Kondo got to his feet. He gave a small bow which was not reciprocated by the amanto. Instead, the huge alien sneered. He stood at 2 metres tall and was an intimidating figure of bulk and muscle. His skin was a clay colour, marked with dark patterns like tiger stripes which banded his biceps. Kondo couldn't help but freeze up whenever his glowing golden globes made eye-contact. It was even worse because Tosshi wasn't there – he usually made quick work of intimidating others, too. Quite often, hard-headed, cocky individuals tried to assert power over the shinsengumi and Tosshi was always the set of icy blue eyes that put them in their place … Not any more.
"We'll begin without him, then." Kristen cracked a few fingers and took centre stage in the room of officials and high-ranking officers. He made careful eye-contact with each person and amanto. There weren't many who could return his gaze without breaking it: in fact, there were only two. Matsudaira, who returned the glare over the top of his dark sunglasses, and Sougo, who took the opportunity to blow chewing gum bubbles until they popped. "I'm going to go over the details of SparrowHawk, an organisation designed to put an end to those rebels. The members of Skylark have all been made apparent to you and those are our main targets. I cannot make the list of our own members public for their safety ..." He paused meaningfully. "It's not that I don't trust you." Matsudaira laughed under his breath. "But SparrowHawk must be protected at all costs."
"Isn't it the job of the shinsengumi to defeat terrorists?" One government official dared to speak up. Kristen turned on him.
"And look where that got us." He said, and the tension in the room became 100 degrees hotter. It wasn't just Matsudaira now, Sougo and Kondo were both sitting straighter. Sougo dared Kristen with his eyes – dared him to cross that line again. Between swordsmen, a sixth sense for hostility is learned and honed. In that moment, Kristen was picking up on several molten-hot daggers burning his way. The space between their palms and the hilt of their katana shortened unconsciously. "SparrowHawk can't be made public. The incident with Hijikata is proof of that. You only have to look at him."
"I hope you have no ill intent behind those words," Kondo made his voice careful and clear.
Kristen barely flicked his eyes over and grunted, "Of course not." He didn't seem sincere at all, and though Kondo couldn't argue against his words, that didn't mean he liked them. "Moving on. We have comprised a list of targets based on their past convictions against the peace between humans and amanto. This information was put together from police records, shinsengumi articles and outside sources. Their names and whereabouts have been ascertained prior to this meeting. Consequently, I can support their accuracy."
"Here we go," Sougo muttered with apprehension. Kondo blinked at him. "It's a good job Hijikata-san wasn't able to make it." It was at that moment that the pieces clicked together in Kondo's head and his eyes flashed open. He glanced at Sougo in poorly concealed panic.
"I shall go down the names in order of risk. Obviously, top of this list is the rebel Katsura Kotaro, whom the shinsengumi have failed to capture on numerous occasions. He is known to still be residing in Edo and conducting terrorist acts as part of a group. Secondly, ..." Kristen continued down the list of well-known rebels, detailing their whereabouts and displaying their pictures on a large screen behind him. Sougo waited anxiously for the inevitable. Hopefully, he had passed under the radar. Hopefully, the records still considered him executed. Hopefully-
"Next is the Shiroyasha." Sougo's mouth dried out. He found it hard to swallow. "Known for killing thousands of amanto and government soldiers during the war, as well as being the front-runner for the majority of counter-operations and the brains behind many destructive missions, the Shiroyasha has somehow gone unpunished."
"I thought the Shiroyasha was executed in the war?" One individual spoke, amongst the whispers of others. The shinsengumi tightened their lips.
"No, the Shiroyasha escaped execution and continues to live in Kabuki district. His name is Sakata Gintoki. How this demon has managed to go unpunished by the shinsengumi, I have no idea," Kristen didn't hide the aggression in his tone, but he was supported now by a flurry of angry grunts around the room. He didn't need to play nice any more. "What have you been doing all this time, Kondo? Instead of fighting the terrorists, have you been drinking alcohol with them? Have you been playing card games?"
"If only he knew," Sougo snorted dryly.
Kondo pursed his lips – this was no time to be laughing. Not only was Gintoki in danger, the whole shinsengumi could be broken apart if word got out about their relationship with the yorozuya. More specifically, Hijikata's relationship with him. He had to hope that it was only a joke. If Kristen knew that they'd not only been drinking and playing cards but sleeping with the Shiroyasha … That'd be it for the Shinsengumi. And he couldn't let that happen.
["... It was only the second day of operation for SparrowHawk, yet they managed to capture three of their top 30 joui affiliates in so little time. General Kristen claimed that this list, also known as the Deferred Justice System (DJS), would be almost surely completed within the next six months."]
"You've still got bambi legs, huh?" Gintoki frowned as Hijikata stumbled over a shoe that had been left lying around (just waiting to be tripped on, according to Hijikata).
"Shat up." He complained. "I might have exercised a bit too much, but other than that I'm fine."
"Then that's good." Gintoki hummed. They shuffled into the apartment living room where Gintoki resumed munching on the bag of crisps he had left on the table. Hijikata brushed away the salt. He had a habit of cleaning up Gintoki's mess and it had become so ingrained in him that he didn't even notice he was doing it any more. Cushion on the floor? He'd pick it up. Rubbish lying around? In the bin it went. Out of date food in the fridge? That was also thrown away. It wasn't even his apartment. He was still a guest, but he assumed Gintoki had no concept of 'guests'. Or maybe just manners.
"Anyway, don't bite my head off for asking, but are you okay?" Hijikata scowled beneath his bangs.
"Fine."
"I did say don't bite my head off."
"I didn't."
"It felt like it." Gintoki sprawled across the sofa and let his partner sink down next to him, automatically wrapping one arm around Hijikata's shoulders as he always did. One hand dipped back into the packet again and arose with a handful of crisps.
"I'm fed up of people asking." Hijikata made sure to steal one just before it entered his mouth.
"Yeah but you can see why we do." He nudged Hijikata, who huffed. "Aren't you meant to be teaming up with the aliens to end terrorism?"
"I was meant to go but Kondo-san wouldn't let me after I felt dizzy yesterday." Gintoki didn't hide his snort and nearly choked on a crisp.
"Dizzy?" he sneered, incredulously, "You had a panic attack and collapsed."
"I wish you'd stop making a big deal out of everything." The empty bag of crisps was slung into Hijikata's face.
"I'll hit you, victim of abuse or not." Gintoki warned, baring his salt covered fist to make a point.
"There's nothing you can do to me. Not now that I know you're ticklish. Your weakness has been exposed." He wiggled his fingers.
"We made a pact."
"We did no such thing."
"That's genuine betrayal."
Hijikata shrugged. "Bite me." And it wasn't that surprising to him when Gintoki did, leaning forward in a flash to gently nip at his neck. "Again." He ordered, making Gintoki laugh. He didn't go for another bite, instead stretching out like a cat and letting out a small grunt of contentment. Another long day of doing nothing. The morning had been spent wandering around Kabuki with Hijikata, basically using up his wallet by trying every food stall they passed. The afternoon was now theirs. And they had no plans for how to use it.
"I want to watch something."
"We're not sitting and watching another one of your shitty dramas."
"Fine," Gintoki pouted. "What do you want to do?"
"We don't have to do anything. Let's just talk."
Gintoki gave him a look of dismay. "Talk?"
"What the hell's wrong with just wanting to talk?!" Hijikata slapped the disgusted look from Gintoki's face. Gintoki was about to hit back when a few wiggled fingers near his sides stopped him abruptly. He wasn't liking this blackmail.
"About what?"
"If you plan what you talk about, it ruins the conversation. What we're doing now is just fine."
"But we're .. arguing?" He frowned. A fist pummelled into his side. "Look, you're even hitting me."
"I always hit you."
"That's not something you should be proud of," he snorted back and gave his hair a ruffle. Hijikata couldn't hide his contempt:
"I wish ya'd stop doing that!" he yelled, combing fingers through his hair to correct the bed head it had given him. "You do that to your kids! It's friggin' patronising."
"It's affectionate." They battled hands above Hijikata's head, Gintoki fluffing his soft locks and Hijikata fighting to bite his fingers. It wasn't until he actually managed to that the real dispute began, starting with a disgruntled Gintoki pinning the smaller man beneath him on the sofa. They grunted and swore, Gintoki being careful not to hurt the narrow frame he was battling with and Hijikata doing anything in his power to free his hands. If he could just free them …
"Hee!-" Gintoki squealed as deft fingertips dug into his ribs. Immediately he was on the defensive which gave Hijikata both hands to work with. It had been an accident, finding out that Gintoki was highly ticklish, but it was definitely a good accident. It gave him the power to subdue Gintoki in any situation and having him somewhere between pain and pleasure was delicious. It wasn't long before he was a trembling mess beneath Hijikata's fingers, wailing for him to stop with tears pricking his eyes but a smile on his face. It was much too fun to stop, especially when Gintoki was laughing the way he was (and screaming but he could ignore that).
They fell from the sofa with a heavy thud and Gintoki was scrambling to escape. Hands on his hips held him down. "We're not in play-school!" Gintoki cried out between yells of pain. "Stop it you- EHHHK!" Gintoki reached behind him – he was now laid out on his stomach – and managed to grab Hijikata's hand. It was game over quickly, but Gintoki wasn't satisfied without revenge. He huffed and shook his hair from his eyes, grinning as broadly as his lips would allow until Hijikata gulped. In his breathless state, he kissed Hijikata. And again. And then once more with ferocious intent, hot mouth searching his until they became lost in time. It could have been a minute passed; it could have been ten. Whatever had just happened in that blur, what was going to happen next was clear when Hijikata reached down a hand to cup his cheek. His cool fingers deliberating trailed Gintoki's skin to the zip of his t-shirt. And carefully, -
CRASH!
Hijikata was the quickest onto his feet but Gintoki wasn't more than a second after. The intruders didn't take their time, either. They were in the room and charging towards the both of them before Gintoki could even get a grip on his bokuto. There was already a protective sword gleaming ahead - Hijikata braced himself for conflict. The words, 'who are you?' sat on his tongue but he discarded them quickly; he could tell these people weren't there for a chat, and with just the two of them, they didn't have the time to do more than catch their breaths. He observed they were amanto with the first clash of swords. They had grey skin and were far larger than most humans. At the second clash of steel, he noticed it was not steel at all and an electric charge of a taser buzzed through him in the fraction of a second they made contact. His hand burned for seconds afterwards. They had to avoid using swords. He glanced to his right where he expected to find Gintoki and was shocked so much by his absence that he was too distracted to notice the fist heading for his gut. He was down. He couldn't breathe. But through all that, he was searching for Gintoki, trying to see through his swimming eyes.
"Shiroyasha! Give yourself up quietly!" One amanto commanded and something electrical hissed loudly by Hijikata's ear. He had his breath back now but there was a foot on his back … and humiliatingly, disgracefully, he hadn't the strength to remove it. He was weak! So weak! He could feel it in his arms, his shaking, burning limbs. The futility was horrifying and even though he wasn't giving in, his chest barely left the floor as he pushed with everything he had.
"Stop it, Hijikata," the voice was soft and dizzying.
"Gin... toki?!" He managed to strain his neck enough to see him and he was standing still, hesitating. Why was he hesitating?
"We are SparrowHawk and we've come to arrest you for your crimes against peace. You can come quietly and be given the chance to say your last words, or you can struggle and I'll take your life right now." This was wrong. It had to be. Something had gone wrong somewhere. Where had he made a mistake? When had he taken the wrong path for everything to become so fucked up?!
"Oi, oi," Gintoki said, as laid-back as ever, the familiar confidence stabbing Hijikata right in the chest. "You're a bit late, aren't you?" Hijikata struggled to get up once more, resisting till his bones ached.
"What's your decision, terrorist?" The amanto (seemingly in charge) grunted. He spat the words like they were poison and that angered Hijikata – who the hell was he to look down on Gintoki?! Speaking of whom, their eyes met and Hijikata was not expecting to see the deliberation he did there. What's wrong? Draw your sword! he thought, furiously. If he gave in here, he'd be ex-... executed. Gintoki softened his eyes and his intentions were made so clear that it made Hijikata sick.
"Gintoki?" His voice cracked.
"That's right, vice-commander!" Gintoki rose his voice and Hijikata's voice-box shrunk away. "I'm the Shiroyasha." He declared. "That's the only reason I got close to you." What sort of a theatre performance was this? Hijikata was about to spit at him. Don't try fooling me with your lies. Then he realised the lie wasn't directed at him.
And as Gintoki was handcuffed and taken away, he remained on the floor trembling. He felt numb. The boot on his back lifted away. The handcuffs clinked. He choked on a shaky breath.
"See you later," Gintoki called warmly.
To hell with your kindness.