Demons didn't need to breathe. Archangels didn't need to breathe.
Yeah, Adam seemed to have forgotten that particular fact. Or at least, some part of him had. Sure, logically speaking, he knew his lungs and chest shouldn't be burning like this. He knew he shouldn't be gasping, fighting to suck the air in, but he felt suffocated. Every breath he took in felt like jamming needles down his throat, and the more he tried, the more it hurt. Internally, Michael was silent, most of his control withdrawn as the two sat and struggled, fighting to piece themselves back together, a half-hearted, futile attempt to pick up whatever seemed to have shattered the second that they hit the surface. It was panic, Adam knew on some level, the reason he couldn't breathe, or move, or think, was one-hundred-percent pure, utter panic. And the more he considered that, the worse it became, because Adam didn't panic he wasn't supposed to panic he was a demon for crying out loud he didn't get like this-
He was glad, in all honesty, when Michael surged up and took control again. A deep breath in was all he needed, and the archangel obliged happily, opening their mouth and inhaling as deeply as possible. It still hurt, just a bit, but Michael didn't falter, holding the breath for a good few seconds before letting out in a low, short huff. Adam shuddered, digging their fingers into the ground, and this time breathed in with him as Michael opened their mouth again. Slow and steady breaths - and the archangel made sure to remind Adam of this as they did so - in, hold it, and out again. It was stupid - or at least, it made Adam feel stupid - but it helped.
Finally, the demon could relax. The stiffness in his muscles loosened considerably, the death grip he had on the ground falling lax as they sat back again. Michael looked down, pulling their hands up out of the grass, and brushing some dirt off in the process. Adam stayed still, for the most part, letting him move for them while he struggled to piece himself together. Now that he wasn't on the verge of a panic attack, at least, he could somewhat think clearly. All things considered, he shouldn't really be panicking, should he? They had gotten what they wanted, they were on Earth, right? Away from the Cage, away from Hell - so why did that thought make him feel worse? Why did the idea of freedom make him feel worse?
Easy, Michael continued to soothe, and while a great part of Adam was grateful, there was still a larger part of him that wanted to tell the archangel to piss off. He couldn't help the irritation and he had long gotten over trying to fight it, but for Michael's sake, he bit his tongue and kept quiet. Michael fell silent after a moment, as well, knowing that Adam was only a few seconds away from snapping, and instead the archangel finally pushed them both up to stand. Adam winced a little, hit with another, sudden wave of nausea, and he finally spared a glance upwards as Michael folded his wings back and brushed them off a little, turning to look around.
Ah, yes, Stull Cemetery. The panic attack made sense now, Adam noted quietly, keeping his mouth shut and inhaling deeply through his nose, just to keep himself from another panic attack. Michael was quiet, but judging by the archangel's unease, he didn't seem to be too fond of the area either. This is where it had all began, after all. This is where they had fallen, in more ways than one. Adam faltered, retracting his control but staying in front to watch.
"You okay?" Michael muttered, hands shaking slightly as he wrapped their arms around them, taking a few steps away from a gravestone and turning away to leave. Adam didn't reply by much, just an internal, unspoken yeah, as Michael searched for the exit. The demon didn't want to say anything, figuring that Michael wasn't fit to fly again for a little while after that - he had, most likely, drained his power, getting them out of Hell. Adam frowned a little bit, mulling over that thought, before pushing himself forward again. Michael surrendered the control without hesitation, settling back in the front of their mind where he could watch. What?
"My turn, isn't it? Take a break, asshole," Adam muttered back in response, clenching his teeth to keep back another wave of nausea as he started walking. It didn't take long to find the entrance to the cemetery - if he was being honest, he was more eager to leave this place than he had been to leave the Cage. And speaking of that… Adam could almost say he missed it, in a way. At least, he missed being down there, where the air was breathable. Fresh air shouldn't be so hard to register - and it shouldn't be so painful, and yet, it was.
The demon paused, sparing a glance over their shoulder as he continued on. Then, sighing, he flicked his gaze to the side and turned to look ahead once more, dropping his arms to shove his hands into his pockets instead. He relaxed as Michael did, the archangel finally settling down completely and retreating to recover. Good, he needed a break - damn archangel, overworking himself, as usual. He knew it certainly wasn't Michael's damaged pride keeping him from letting Adam help him, so he really didn't know what the big deal was - at least, however, for the moment, Michael was letting him take the reigns.
There was, of course, the issue of why the fuck Adam even gave a shit - but he wasn't about to go too deeply into that. The point of the matter was that, at the moment, he was stronger than Michael. And, so, he should be in control for now, until the archangel had recovered. The demon nodded a little and continued on, sighing. Finding Lucifer had waited this long, he figured it could wait a little bit longer. They both needed some time to recover, and Adam, regardless, had a few things he wanted to do. Such as find somewhere to take a shower, get some clean clothes, shave… yeah, that all sounded pretty good. Then they could find Lucifer.
And Sam and Dean, he recalled, internally. The familiar rush of anger flared back up, and Adam welcomed it with open arms - he'd been so distracted by the other emotions, it was actually kind of surprising, he had ended up missing the fury more than he'd bargained for. But, he most certainly hadn't forgotten about the Winchesters, and he most certainly hadn't forgiven them. How could he?
There was a surprising lack of protest; Adam stopped walking for a second, narrowing his eyes. Michael was still, and silent - prodding just a little further, the demon realized, the archangel was asleep. Whether or not he needed sleep was up for debate - but, then, if that's the case, he must really need it - but Adam didn't care either way. Fine, let halo doze off a little bit - again, a rest would be good for him, he'd been stressing his ass off lately.
In the meantime, Adam could take care of whatever the hell needed to be done. He looked down, adjusting his jacket, and continued on. It felt… oddly weird, being on his own for the first time - while he could still feel Michael, he was used to at least having him there to talk to. The reminder that he was still there helped to calm the slight anxiety that rose in his chest, but even his silent reassurances didn't do too much to quell the twinges. Adam just shook his head, fighting to ignore it, and looked around. Wherever they were, there had to be a store or something nearby, right? Figuring out what year this was would be a good step…
Feeling something brush over his head, the demon looked up at once, turning to see what had hit him. But, just as soon as it had appeared, an orange streak flashed right past him and disappeared into the air. Adam blinked, and stared for a moment, an odd look crossing his face. Yeah, that was certainly… unusual. He turned, after a few seconds, to look back at where it had come from, but - there was nothing else. Whatever the hell it was had gone.
Adam frowned, shaking his head a little, and continued on a little more carefully. Sure, that was unusual, but unusual things happened - and that was pretty much his entire existence, now, at least ever since he had been possessed by a fucking angel and fallen through one of the many gates of Hell, and into the Devil's cage. And, of course, become a demon. Unusual things happened. And Adam didn't care enough to try and figure this out, much less question it. Questioning things had landed him in Hell, more or less.
Brushing a hand through his hair, he looked up and continued on.
Michael was still asleep by the time Adam had hit the first store. Well- store was putting it lightly. It was a gas station, sort of in the middle of nowhere. But, it was the first actual place Adam had come across upon getting to the surface, so he'd take what he could get. Admittedly, though, he hesitated briefly outside. There were people inside, after all, and it wasn't as if Adam had too much social interaction in the Cage. Lucifer was the most he had gotten, for that. Michael didn't really count as "other people" - they were pretty much the same person now, more or less, and either way, he was probably the only living being that Adam was really comfortable with.
There wasn't much to do here, anyway, except grab a newspaper, which were inside on the stand. Hell, he didn't even have to take it with him, for crying out loud - just a quick glimpse, in and out, and then he was on his way to somewhere that actually had clothes. The demon sighed, taking in a breath, and pushed the door open to walk inside, a scowl tugging at his lips as he made his way over to the newspaper stand, plucking one up.
It took several moments of scanning the date to actually register it. Month and day, he didn't care about - the year is what stood out to him. 2019. It was… 2009 when Sam had landed them in the Cage, yeah? So- ten fucking years.
Admittedly enough, though, what shocked him was that he had expected it to be longer. It had felt like longer.
Running his fingers through his hair, the demon dropped the newspaper and turned away again, taking a deep breath and looking up. Ten years. Not as long as he had thought, maybe, but long enough - and, either way, it made his heart pump a little bit quicker, his fury grow a little bit further. Ten years, and nothing. They hadn't even tried, had they? No, once Sam had been sprung, that was it - little old Adam was forgotten, insignificant, not a part of their story. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. The more he wanted to pick up that newspaper stand and chuck it through the glass window. Finding Sam and Dean was somehow a lot more appealing than before, he noted icily, because now he had extra motivation for bashing their heads in.
"Sir?" Adam twitched, and looked over - hearing a voice that wasn't his own, coming from the outside, was stranger than he'd thought it would be - but even stranger, was being called sir. The clerk was staring at him, big blue eyes wide with concern as she leaned over the counter, frowning. "Are you alright?"
Adam stared, silent, then let out a huff and rolled his eyes. Of course, this is what he had to deal with now - humans. All up in his business, too. Truth be told, no, Adam wasn't alright - he didn't even know when the last time he was alright was - but that wasn't any of this lady's business. "Yeah, I'm fuckin' peachy," he finally snapped, not waiting for a reaction nor a response before he turned and left the store, letting the door swing shut behind him a little harsher than when he'd come in. He'd gotten what he came for, but he wasn't at all pleased with the results.
The demon breathed in once he had gotten outside, passing a hand over his head and looking down. A part of him, a tiny part, acknowledged that he could use some quiet-but-optimistic remark from Michael right about then, a soothing remark, a calming word. It was only occurring to him now just how much he relied on the archangel to keep him calm - and in this situation, especially, how much he would need him even more.
Shaking his head, Adam struggled to tune those thoughts out. Michael was just taking a break. He was still there, just resting - it wasn't like he had left. Another rush of anxiety bubbled up in the demon's chest, stifled only by the frustration that was also brewing. He shouldn't be worried about this, he shouldn't care, and he… he didn't. He couldn't. He didn't have the capacity.
Adam pressed his lips together, into a thin line, as he looked back toward the store for just a second before heading off again, somewhat begrudgingly. Flying would be particularly useful right about now - fucking hell, he couldn't wait until Michael woke up. He was having absolutely no luck on his own. It was almost night time, and he was still just wandering. Uselessly. Michael would have found somewhere by now, been a little more productive by now…
The hell is wrong with you? He berated himself internally, screwing his eyes shut and shaking his head a little as he walked. Fuck's sake, your life doesn't revolve around Michael. That was true, of course, wasn't it? He could handle himself just fine without the archangel for at least a little while longer. Stop acting like a helpless idiot. You don't need him for this!
Even with that thought in his head, though, he couldn't shake the emptiness as he continued on, finally blinking his eyes open to look up at the sky, and then ahead again. It was achingly hollow, and he didn't think he was going to be able to do anything about that, no matter what he told himself.