(I'm so happy that so many people are enjoying this story! So I'm even happier to present Chapter Seven!)

Chapter Seven

A Very Arkham Christmas

The weather had grown colder over the month of November and snow began to fall during the second week of December. Amber was excited about the snow; she always loved to see the city covered in a white blanket of powdery snow.

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, Just like the ones I used to know. Where the treetops glisten, And children listen, To hear sleigh bells in the snow," Amber sang to herself as she hung a golden ball on the asylum's Christmas tree. The tree was located in the center of the recreation room and many of the patients were there to help decorate it. It was a very tall tree and required a ladder to reach the higher branches and to put the star on top.

Amber had asked for her charges to be among the patients who were given the privilege to help with the decorations. Only the ones who had been on very good behavior were allowed to take part. Due to the Joker's escape on Halloween, it took Dr. Arkham a lot of convincing to allow him out of solitary confinement. Now the Joker was tossing silvery tinsel at Nigma and hadn't even thanked Amber for getting him out. Not that she expected a thanks in the first place.

Amber climbed onto the next step on the ladder and placed a sparkling snowflake on the sweet smelling tree. The ornaments were not to have hooks on them, so they had fishing wire as a substitute. Amber looked down to see if her charges were behaving and saw they were being okay. "Maybe it's a Christmas miracle?" she whispered.

"Pretty colors!" Katelynn screamed as she dashed by with strings of colorful Christmas lights wrapped around her body.

"Then again…," Amber sighed.

"Joker! Stop dumping that stuff on me!" Nigma complained, shaking strands of tinsel out of his hair. He and the Joker were sitting on the floor behind Amber. She had assigned Nigma the task of untangling the strands of lights and ornaments. The Joker had been told to put tinsel on the tree, but after doing that for seven minutes, he got bored and decided putting tinsel on the Riddler would be more amusing.

"Oh, come on, Eddie! Lighten up; tis the season to be naughty."

"It's 'jolly', Joker."

"Says who?"

"Says- bleh! What did I just tell you!"

"Tis the season to be jolly? So why aren't you jolly? Why so serious? HA HA HA HA HA!"

Amber rolled her eyes as she listened to the argument going on behind her back. She carefully twisted her body around to look at the two men. "Hey, you two! Behave!"

The two criminals looked at her and pointed a finger at the other man. "He started it!"

"Then don't continue it!" Amber turned back around to face the tree.

The Joker kept an eye on Amber as he jabbed his elbow into Nigma's side. "Ouch!" Nigma yelped, struggling to keep his voice low. The Joker snickered mischievously. Nigma retaliated with a jab to the Joker's ribs. The Joker's snickers turned into a grunt. He returned the jab by shoving Nigma hard with his shoulder. Nigma did the same. Soon they were poking, shoving, and, jabbing each other frantically.

A slight movement from the corner of their eyes put an immediate stop to their childish battle and they busied themselves with the lights as Amber turned back around to climb down the ladder. "Nice to see the two of you working together," Amber commented suspiciously as she walked by to get another box of ornaments. The two men smiled at her and continued smiling until she was out of sight. The Riddler and the Joker resumed their poking war and stopped when Amber returned.

"See, it's not so hard to get along with each other," Amber told them. She turned to hang a red paper poinsettia. The Joker gave Nigma a final jab to the ribs and quickly moved away before the Riddler could hit him back. He gave a smug grin and turned on his heel to finish tinseling up the tree; only to fall smack on his face.

Amber spun around to find the Joker picking himself off the floor and clenching a strand of lights in his fist as he glared at the Riddler. Nigma merely whistled 'Oh Christmas Tree' to himself with a smug look on his face.

On the other side of the room, Crane quickly scurried to the high-backed chair next to the bolted lamp on the coffee table. He settled into the chair and pulled out the hard backed book he had smuggled into the room under his orange uniform shirt. Crane opened up the book to where he had last left off and began to read.

Crane had gotten at least four pages in when a bubbly voice violently jarred him out of his book. "Hi, Crane; what'cha doin'?"

Crane slowly lowered the book to where his blue eyes were visible as he peered over the edge at Harley Quinn. The blond smiled happily at him, bent over with her hands on her knees. "I'm reading," Crane answered stiffly and lifted the book back in place.

"Ooooh… What'cha readin'?"

The book was lowered again. "Dracula." The book rose.

"Dracula, the vampire?"

This time the book didn't move. An audible sigh was heard from behind the novel. "Is there any other Dracula?" he asked sarcastically.

Harley shrugged and straightened her position. "I don't think so."

"Yes; I am reading about Dracula, the vampire."

"Oh."

Since Crane's vision was impaired by the book blocking out any other images, he felt more than he saw Harley sit on the floor and brush against his right pants leg. There were a few minutes of silence and then… "So, is the book good?"

"…Yes, it is."

"How much have you read?"

Crane snapped the book closed with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. "Miss Quinn, isn't there someone else you could talk to? Poison Ivy, perhaps?"

"Red's busy helping out with the decorating. I wanna talk to you."

"Lucky me," Crane murmured.

Harley tilted her head to the side, blond pigtails moving with the motion. "How come you don't wanna help us decorate the tree?" she asked.

"I would prefer reading." Crane positioned his hand to hold up his head by placing his index finger against the side of his head and the middle finger and thumb to be under his chin, supporting his head's weight.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"But Nurse Amber went through a lot to get us out here. Don't ya wanna… I don't know… help?"

Crane blinked at Harley and then chuckled, letting his head roll back against the seat. "Help? 'Help' she says; oooh, Harley. The last time I 'helped' anyone, I ended up here."

Harley got to her feet and folded her arms. She stuck out her bottom lip in a mad pout. "Fine! Sit there and be a Grinch!" She stomped off towards the others.

Crane sighed with relief. "At last," he breathed and picked up his novel.

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!" The Joker sang out at the top of his lungs. "Batmobile lost a wheel-!"

"And Joker took ballet!" Katherine broke in. The Joker glared at Katherine. She simply ignored it as usual.

"It's, 'And Joker got away'. What's that mess about me taking ballet?"

"Just making up words, Joker. Can't you take a joke?"

The Joker ground his teeth and started up another song. "On the first day of Christmas, a psycho gave to me; An Asylum in Gotham City!"

Amber quirked an eyebrow at the Joker's version of the song, but said nothing. "Let him sing what he wants."

"Six guns a blazing, Five Hand Grenades! Four plain white walls, three straightjackets, two crazy clowns, and an Asylum in Gotham City!"

Poison Ivy moodily looked up from wrapping ribbons around wreaths. "Joker! Please; stop singing! Show a little mercy."

"Now why would I do a thing like that?"

Meanwhile, Katherine and Katlyn were tip-toeing over to the Riddler. Katlyn held a cardboard box of decorations that Amber had assigned for them to work on. Katherine tapped Nigma's shoulder and smiled when he turned to look at them. "Yes?" he asked.

"Me and my minion have made a discovery that will bring great cheer to the two of us," Katherine informed him.

Edward eyed the looks on their faces. "So why do you both look so…devious?"

"Oh, no reason," Katlyn said in a sing-song voice.

"There must be a reason." Edward glanced at the box. "What's in the box?"

Katherine and Katlyn's eyes lit up. "We're so glad you asked! Now, Katlyn!"

Katlyn whipped out something green from the box and held it over Nigma's head; before he could respond, both girls had launched themselves at him and were kissing him on each cheek. Nigma was knocked over from his sitting position. "What are you doing?" he cried, desperately clawing the air to sit back up.

Both girls drew back from him, giant grins etched on their faces. "Fulfilling a Christmas wish," Katherine stated happily.

Nigma sat up and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "What was that thing you pulled out of the box?"

Katlyn held it up for Nigma to see. "Mistletoe. Strong stuff."

"I'll say," Edward muttered. "Is there any more of that hanging around the asylum?"

"There were three of them."

"Where are they?" Nigma asked nervously. Sure he didn't mind being kissed by girls, but he didn't want to be unknowingly caught under the mistletoe with a man!

"Over there," Katlyn said, pointing at a door way, "and -."

"Puuuuuddiiiiiin'!" Harley sang out. "I'm under the mistletoe; ya better come and kiss me quick before somebody else does!" Harley had found the mistletoe that was located under the doorway and was grinning from ear to ear.

The Joker rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Oh, Joker," Amber sing-songed.

"What?"

"It looks like your girlfriend s attracting some attention."

The Joker lazily glanced over at Harley and instantly went rigid at what he saw. A patient was spritzing his throat with breath mint spray and eyeing Harley eagerly. "He wouldn't dare," the Joker thought. The patient took two steps towards Harley. "GAH!" the Joker choked. "Hey!" The patient stopped in his tracks and looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. "Get away from my woman!" the Joker shouted.

The patient ran away as the Joker marched over to Harley. He grabbed her by the forearms, spun her around, dipped her down low and locked lips with her. Harley practically melted in the Joker's arms. "Eeew." Katherine squirmed and looked away from the sight of the two clowns making out.

Amber shook her head good humoredly and went back to decorating the tree. Those two clowns had such a fickle relationship; she didn't even want to try to understand it.

Nigma stared at the Joker and Harley with a perturbed expression on his face. "That is mildly disturbing." He turned his attention to Katherine and Katlyn. "Where's the third mistletoe?"

Katherine twisted her head around and pointed in the direction of the mistletoe. "It's right over ther…oh, that's interesting."

"What is?" Nigma asked, failing to see what was making the devious light shine back in Katherine's eyes.

"The last batch of mistletoe is hanging right over there." Katherine pointed directly at the location and Nigma couldn't help but grin when he saw who was, unknowingly, standing under the plant. "Excuse us, Mr. Riddler; but my minion and I have a diabolical plan to carry out," Katherine said as she began to walk away, leaving a confused Katlyn.

"We do?" Katlyn asked.

Katherine sighed and grabbed Katlyn by the shoulder. "Come on," she grunted.

Over at the Christmas tree, Amber was tying a red ribbon around one of the branches. The muffled sounds of giggles drew her attention. She looked down to see Katherine and Katlyn giggling at her from the foot of the ladder. "What's so funny?" Amber asked, smiling out of curiosity.

"Nurse Amber, have you ever been kissed before?" Katlyn asked, mysteriously.

Amber cocked her head to the side. "Why would you want to know a silly thing like that?"

"No reason," Katherine answered and pointed upward.

"Wha?" Amber followed the direction of their mischievous gazes. Right above her head, dangling on a long piece of red ribbon, was a small cluster of mistletoe. "What the-?" Amber began, but she didn't get far in her question.

"Nurse Amber's under the mistletoe!" Katlyn squawked.

Instantly, all heads turned in Amber's direction. It was like someone had turned on a spotlight and aimed it solely on her. "Uuuh…I better get down from here-."

"Is someone gonna kiss 'er?" Katelynn asked loudly.

"Wha-hey; hold on, no! Nobody's going to be kissing anyone!" Amber said quickly, while trying to lower her foot onto the next step without looking.

"Mistletoe, mistletoe; Amber's under the mistletoe!" Katelynn sang.

By this time, all of Amber's charges, except Crane, had made their way to where she and the three girls were standing. Amber successfully made it down the ladder and kept one hand on the bar. "Stop it, Katelynn!"

"I'm not doing anything!" whined the other Katlyn.

"Not you! Her!"

"Mistletoe! Amber's under the mistletoe! Amber's gonna be kissed!" Katelynn continued.

Amber put her free hand on her hip and smirked. "Unless it's the Invisible Man, I don't see anyone lining up to kiss me, Katelynn; so it's not going to happen."

"We'll see about that." Amber spun around to see the Joker grinning at her. "It's a tradition, sweetheart." The Joker leaned in to kiss Amber, blocking her way of escape and backing her into the ladder.

"Eep!" Amber squeaked and bumped into the ladder with so much force that it toppled over, taking her along with it. "Ah!"

The Joker's lips kissed the air and he opened an eyelid in confusion. No one was there. "Uuuh…" A clack of metal below his field of vision caught his attention. He looked down to see Amber had fallen on top of the ladder and was now trying to untangle her shoelaces from the contraption. The sight of it caused the Joker to burst out laughing.

Amber scowled at the Joker as she tugged at her shoe. "I could sue you for sexual assault!" she snapped. The Joker paid no attention to her threat and kept laughing.

"Ah-he-he-he-he-ehm," came the annoyed voice of someone clearing their throat. The Joker's laughs stopped and he turned to see Harley standing behind him, arms folded, foot tapping, and a scowl on her face. "Puddin'," she said in an overly sweet voice. "Just what exactly were you doing?"

"Oh, pumpkin! I was just having some fun."

Harley stamped her foot on the floor, hands clenched in fists at her sides. "You clown Casanova!" she shouted.

The Joker instantly turned on the charm. "Honey, baby, pumkin pie; you're the only one for me," he said smoothly.

"Oh gosh, let's hope so," Katherine mumbled under her breath.

Amber grunted as she pulled her foot free from the ladder and stood up. "Freedom," she breathed. She took one step and fell face first on the floor. "Ouch!" Amber looked at her feet to see she had stepped on her darn shoelace! "Brilliant." She immediately tied her shoe and was ready to stand again when a hand was offered to her.

Amber looked up to see who the hand belonged to and saw the Riddler. "Let's not chance another mishap, shall we?" he asked. Amber placed her hand in his and let him pull her up.

Katelynn's brown eyes widened and she gasped. "They're under the mistletoe together!"

It was true; Amber, Nigma, AND the Joker were standing under the mistletoe. The Joker grinned. "How about a kiss on the cheek from both of us, huh?"

Both criminals closed their eyes and bent forward to plant a kiss on Amber's cheek. At the last possible second, Amber ducked down and avoided both men…they were unaware of the change. Their lips met and a loud gasp was heard from the other rogues. Nigma and the Joker opened their eyes to see what had caused the gasp and saw who they were kissing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" They screamed and jumped back about a mile from each other.

The Joker coughed and spit. "Harley, quick! I've been poisoned!"

Poison Ivy smirked and lifted a thin eyebrow. "Not by me," she chuckled.

The Riddler gagged and tried to wipe away the red paint from his lips that the Joker's makeup had left. "Gah! Ugh! Eew!"

Katherine and Katlyn were beside themselves. "Mr. Riddler, don't die on us!"

Amber was trying as hard as she could to keep her mouth shut and not laugh, but it was becoming more difficult by the second. Two-Face walked up to her. "Did you plan for that to happen?" he asked.

"I can assure you I did not…but man, it would have been great if I did," Amber giggled.

Two-Face grinned at her. "You know, there's more to you than meets the eye."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should."

Amber looked up at Two-Face and gazed at his face for a moment. Was it just her imagination, or did she and Dent just share a moment of bonding? Before she could figure anything else out, Dent nodded and walked away to watch the Riddler and Nigma continue to freak out.

"Caleb finds that funny," Caleb said, laughing and pointing at the Joker.

"Oh, go catch a bat," the Joker growled.

"BATS!"

From his chair, Crane lowered his novel and grinned evilly as he watched and listened to Caleb's screams. "Aaah; the sweet sounds of fear," he murmured. His brow wrinkled in confusion when he caught sight of Nigma and the Joker spitting and coughing like they had just tasted something horrible. "What on Earth is going on?" he wondered aloud.

From out of nowhere, Harley had appeared at his side. "That's what happens when you don't help decorate the tree," she sing-songed in a 'I told you so' way. Crane frowned and closed his book.

"Snoooooooooooooow!" Katelynn screamed and glued herself to the window that looked out into the asylum's recreation yard. Everyone looked to see fresh snow falling outside. Chelsea and Tommy joined Katelynn at the window, oohing and aahing at the sight.

Harley sprinted from the opposite side of the room and nearly knocked over every one at the window. "Snow! Look, Mistah J! It's snowing!"

"Whoop-de-freakin'-doo," he said in a bored tone. Now that he was sure he wouldn't die from kissing the Riddler, he was returning to his normal self.

Harley gabbed Ivy by the arm as she jumped up and down with glee. "Snow, Red, snow! We could make snow angels!"

Ivy guffawed. "Yeah, right. Look at all that snow on the ground."

"Yeah; isn't it great?"

"It's killing all the plants!"

Harley's joy went down a little, but she kept smiling. "Oh, Red; they'll come back in the spring!"

"All that ice; chilling and killing my babies…"

"Hey guys," Amber called from behind them. All turned to look at her. Amber was dressed in her white coat, gloves, and hat. She was in the process of wrapping her white scarf around her neck. "How about a little trip outside to the courtyard?" An explosion of cheers rang out from all; except for Ivy, Crane, and the Joker. "Remember, ten guards are gonna be out there with us," Amber warned.

…

The yard was nearly covered with snow. In fact, if Amber turned a certain way, she nearly blended in with the snow due to her white uniform and winter wear. Amber rubbed her hands together to get some heat circulating as she watched her charges enjoy the snow. They were easy to spot since they're winter wear matched with their bright orange patient uniforms.

Harley was trying to convince Ivy how much fun snow could be, Jervis Tetch and Tommy Tetch were building snowmen, and Katherine and Katlyn were building a …hill, a fort? Crane stood off by himself, arms wrapped around his body for warmth and merely watching everyone else. Amber made her way over to the ex-psychiatrist, her feet crunching in the snow.

"Why are you way over here by yourself?" Amber asked.

"I like it over here," Crane answered.

"You didn't want to join in decorating the Christmas tree; now you don't want to join the others in the snow?"

"I'm a fully grown man, Nurse Amber; I don't play in the snow."

Amber opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by the sound of Katherine calling her name. "Nurse Amber; heads up!" A sudden blast of cold snow exploded against the side of her head and sprayed all over Crane as well. Katherine and Katlyn cackled behind their snow hill and high-fived one another. "Direct hit!" Katherine shouted triumphantly.

"Oh no they didn't," Amber said in disbelief. She brushed the snow off and put her hands on her hips. "You stop that!"

"Fire!" Another snowball was launched into the air and hit Amber in the shoulder.

"Beautiful aim!" Katherine complimented Katlyn, who was already in the process of making more snowballs.

Amber flicked the snow off her shoulder and tugged at her scarf. "Oh, they picked the wrong girl to mess with."

"What are you going to do?" Crane asked, watching Amber bend over and gather snow in her hands.

Amber patted the snow into a ball. "I'm going to forget for the moment that I am a responsible young adult with a job who was taught to deal with things logically." Amber reared back her arm. "Eat ice!" she yelled, and threw the snowball at Katherine and Katlyn.

"Captain! Snow ball coming in!" Katlyn warned. But it was too late; the snowball hit Katherine full in the face. Katherine was knocked off balance and fell onto the snowy ground. Katlyn wiped away the snow and grasped her by the shoulders. "Katherine, speak to me! Say anything!"

"Retaliate!" Katherine shouted.

By now the other charges were making their own little snow dunes and snowballs. The Riddler chuckled evilly as he tossed his snowball into the air and caught it. "Hey, Joker!" he called. The Joker turned to look at him. "Riddle me this; what seems like a solid and breaks on contact?" Before the Joker could answer, a ball of snow collided with his face. "A snow ball!" the Riddler cried, gleefully.

Snowballs flew left and right as everyone joined in the battle. Amber ran towards a mound of snow and slid behind it like a baseball player. A snowball was in her hand as she slowly looked over the edge of the mound. The Mad Hatter's top hat was visible behind his own make-shift sanctuary. Amber aimed and threw the snowball, knocking his hat off his head. Jervis uttered a cry of surprise and dived for his hat.

Two-Face sat behind his shield, a snowball in one hand and his coin in the other. He flipped the coin and looked at its results. "Oh come on! I gotta throw a snowball at some point!" He tossed the coin again. "No! Grr!" He flipped the coin once again and gave a cheer. "Yes!" He leapt to his feet, arm in position, snow ball ready, and immediately had five snowballs fired at him. They pounded against his body and he dropped behind his shield. He held up his coin and glared at it. "Thanks a lot, traitor!" he scolded.

Harley and Ivy were huddled together behind a small brick wall that served as a miniature garden during the spring and summer. Harley held two snowballs in her hand which she quickly sent flying across the yard towards Katherine and Katlyn. "See, Red; this is fun!" she squealed.

"How can this possibly be fun?" Ivy snapped. "What's fun about having freezing ice particles thrown at you?" Harley stared blankly at her friend as she continued her tirade against snow. When Ivy was done, she gave a huff and folded her arms. "Fun in the snow, indeed," she grumbled.

Harley simply lifted her snowball and brought it down on top of Ivy's head. "Hey! Harley! You just got in deep!" Ivy yelled and began to create a snowball of her own to throw at Harley.

Harley grinned as she ran from the wall. "That's the spirit, Red!"

Amber ducked and avoided being hit by snowballs from Two-Face and Chelsea. She hid behind a tree and waited a moment before dashing towards another hill. Once behind her hill, she began to make several snowballs and peeked out to make sure no other snowballs were coming her way. "Area is clear," she said to herself.

"Or is it, sweetheart?"

Without even hesitating, Amber spun around on her knees and threw a snowball in the direction of the voice. Snow splattered against the Joker and his aim was thrown off as he released his own snowball at Amber. It hit the mound and missed Amber by a foot.

"Ha!" Amber cried triumphantly. She wasted no more time in gloating and ran from the Joker.

"Nurse Amber," a guard called. Amber stopped in the middle of the yard and was hit by thirteen snowballs from all directions. She looked up at the guard who had called her. "Time's up. They have to come in," he announced. Groans were heard from the patients as they sluggishly moved towards the asylum.

Harley paused next to Amber on her way to the door. "Do you think we could do that again?" she asked, excitedly.

Amber thought a moment and smiled. "We'll see."

Harley squealed with delight and skipped away to join the others. Amber shook snow out of her hair and stepped inside the building. "Maybe we will," she whispered to herself.

"I saw Joker kissin' the Riddler, underneath the mistletoe last night!" sang Two-Face.

"Shut up or die!" the Joker threatened.

Amber closed the doors and sighed. "Merry Christmas, Arkham Asylum."

(Hey, you readers! I'd really like to hear what you think; so leave a review! I'd also like to hear if you have any suggestions for this story! So leave a review! … I feel like I'm forgetting something… Oh yeah; leave a review! )