(Here it is! The Valentine's Day Special! Yea! … I feel like a TV announcer… 0.o … *shrugs* Oh, well. Things are gonna start getting very interesting in this chapter; mystery, drama, mischief, oh my!
Joker: "Knock it off, Dorothy."
Me: "Whatever you say, Toto."
Joker: -_-
Me: "Any who, enjoy this chapter!"
Joker: "Toto?"
Me: "Oh, get over it!"
Chapter Nine
Love Knocked Me Off My Feet
The next day, during lunch, the patients of Arkham were passing out their Valentine's Day cards. Even the staff was giving each other gifts. Amber stood off to the side, keeping a watchful eye over her charges.
"Oh, Puddin'; I love it!" Harley squealed childishly after reading a card the Joker gave her.
"What does it say, Harl?" Ivy asked.
Harley opened the card and cleared her throat to read aloud. The Joker suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth. "No, Harley!"
"But, Puddiiiin'," Harley whined once the Joker removed his hand from her mouth.
"No! Stuff like that should only be shared between the two of us; not the whole asylum."
"Aaaw, Mr. J, we didn't realize you were sensitive," Chelsea giggled.
Of course he wasn't; but let them think what they will. The Joker was not going to let anyone else know what was on the card. He had only written it cause he had to, but still, it was embarrassing.
Ivy leaned over towards Harley and whispered, "Wait till he's gone, then tell me what he wrote." Harley gave her an overly exaggerated wink in agreement; earning a smile from Ivy.
Katherine opened up a card addressed to her and began reading the sweetest poem she'd ever read in her life. She normally hated poems, all that rhyming and symbolism, and rhyming, and mushy stuff, and rhyming, especially the rhyming; but this one was sweet. She looked down at the bottom of the card to see who had written it. She had no doubt it was the Riddler, but she might as well see how nicely he wrote his name and … Katherine blinked and double checked the name. Then screamed.
Katlyn 1 came rushing to her friend's rescue. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"The Joker! It's from the Joker!" Katherine wailed.
"What is?"
"This card! He's just doing this to make me feel bad!"
"Is it working?"
Both girls looked over at the Joker to see him leaning back in his seat; feet propped up on the table, back against the wall, hands behind his head, and a smug smile on his face. He waved at them. Katherine's shoulders slumped as she faced Katlyn 1. "A little bit," she admitted.
"Whoa; that must be a really good poem. Can I-?" Katherine shoved the card in her friend's hands before she could finish the sentence. Katlyn 1 read it and then smiled. "Aaaw! That's so cute!"
Katherine's eyes glared at her from the side. "Who's side are you on?" she demanded.
"I'm just saying-."
"Be quiet."
"Okay."
The two girls looked back at the trouble making clown. His attention was focused on something else. Katherine followed his gaze to see he and Amber seemed to be having a staring contest. A few seconds passed and an idea came into Katherine's head. "Light bulb!" She bent down to whisper her plan to Katlyn 1. When she was done explaining, the two smiled mischievously.
…
Joan stood next to Amber and held out an open chocolate box she had received as a Valentine. "Want one?" she asked. Amber picked out a sweet and popped it into her mouth.
"So, what did you get?" a red-headed nurse asked the two of them.
"Chocolates, a Hershey kisses rose, a couple of cards, and a new pen set," Joan answered.
"And what about you?" the nurse asked Amber.
"Huh? Oh, I uh, I haven't gotten anything yet," Amber answered absent-mindedly. She was too busy trying to figure out why Katherine and Katlyn 1 were smiling so evilly. "What are those two up to?"
The red-headed nurse's face suddenly became sad. "Oooh dear; I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to depress you on the most romantic day of the year by reminding you that you have no one!" she said a little too loudly.
Amber quirked an eyebrow at her. "Um, no, I never said I was depressed or single-," she began.
The nurse's face lit up. "Ooh! So you do have a boyfriend; how nice!"
"Uh, no. I don't-."
"Oh, dear; I'm sorry, you poor, poor, poor, lonely, romance deprived, thing."
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I even welcomed you to discuss the topic of my date life or even suggested that I wanted your opinion," Amber said, coolly.
The nurse blinked in surprise at Amber. Then she turned up her nose. "Well, I can see why you're still single," she humphed and stormed off.
"Is she in any way related to Gatsby?" Amber asked Joan. Joan burst out laughing and handed Amber another chocolate.
…
Katherine and Katlyn 1 had gotten the Joker away from Harley. They were smiling too broadly for his liking. After all, he was supposed to be the one whose smiles made people uncomfortable. He finally found out the reason for their smiles when Katlyn 1 blurted out, "You and Nurse Amber would make such an adorable couple!"
"DO WHAT?" the Joker choked.
"Nice going, Katlyn. We were supposed to ease him into the idea," Katherine scolded.
"That's about as gently as it goes for me," Katlyn 1 responded and turned her attention back to the Joker.
"What makes you think that we'd make a good couple?"
"Think about it! You're always arguing with each other; so it's only natural that it's because you like each other a lot!" Katherine explained.
"You and Harley argue," the Joker pointed out.
Katherine waved away the remark. "That's different. What counts is that you two were made for each other!"
"I thought I was the one with the sick mind?" the Joker muttered under his breath.
"Hey; I heard that!"
"I hope so!" The Joker looked over to see Harley skipping merrily to him. The Joker glared at Katherine and Katlyn 1. "Not one word of this to her or anyone else. Is that clear?"
"But-!"
"Not one word! If Harley hears this, she'll try to keep me in sight 24/7 and still think I'm sneaking around!"
Harley slipped her arms around the Joker's waist. "Hi, Puddin'! Happy Valentine's Day!" she squealed.
"You already said that to me."
"I wanted to say it again!"
"…Greaaaaat."
Meanwhile, Katherine and Katlyn 1 had slinked off to wish their Riddler a happy Valentine's Day… and to tell him about their diabolical plan. A scheming smile spread across his face as he glanced back at Nurse Amber and the Joker. "What an interesting thought," Nigma mused.
"So you'll help us?" Katherine asked, slightly bouncing on her toes.
The Riddler chuckled and twirled the fork he was using to eat a piece of cake. "No," he answered, simply.
The two girls' excited faces immediately changed to disappointment. "Why not?" they whined at the same time.
"Because I'm already in for it with that clown; I can only imagine what terrors he'd have in store for me if he found out I was involved in your little scheme of match making."
"But you're sooo smart! We need your amazing intelligence to ad us in our diabolical plan!" Katherine said, desperately.
The Riddler sighed and ran a hand through his red hair. "Weeell…" Hey, he was a sucker to flattery.
Both girls fell flat on their stomachs and grabbed his legs. "Please!" they begged.
"No!" Nigma covered his eyes with his hands to block out the sight.
"Mister Nigmaaa."
Nigma made the mistake of peeking out from between his fingers. He saw them both wearing pitiful looks on their faces. Nigma heaved a heavy sigh, hands falling away from his face. "Oh alright," he groaned.
The girls squeezed his legs tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Nigma couldn't help but smile. Hey, like I said, he was a sucker.
….
Across the room, Dent was trying to work up the courage to give Poison Ivy his card. It was proving to be more difficult than he thought. Harvey dug out his coin and glanced around to make sure no one was looking. Heads; he'd give the card to Ivy. Scratched Out Head; he'd just walk away. Dent flipped the coin. Heads. "Curses!" he thought.
Slowly, very slowly, Harvey took one-side step at a time towards Ivy; these movements made him resemble a sand crab. He finally made it to Ivy and stood beside her for two whole minutes without saying a word. "Hello, Ivy," he finally squeaked.
Ivy turned her head and lifted a well-defined eyebrow at Dent. "Good lord, did he just squeak?" she wondered.
Dent cleared his throat and was glad that Ivy was facing the good side of his face. He avoided looking at her and blindly stuck out his arm to give her the card. Instead, his fist collided with Ivy's face! Ivy fell backwards, head dizzy from the impact, and collapsed on the floor. Dent still had his arm extended, oblivious to what he'd done. "Here, Ivy; I made this for you. Happy Valentine's Day."
Only when he didn't have the card taken from his hand for a minute did he finally give a sideways glance where Ivy had been standing. She wasn't in sight! Was his bad eye playing tricks on him?
"Uh… Ivy?"
A groan came from the floor. He looked down and saw Ivy's unconscious form. Dent's eyes widened and his hands flew up to his mouth as he gasped. "Oh my goodness! She was so embarrassed by me giving her a card that she fainted!" he cried. He went down on his knees and began fanning her with the card.
Crane strolled over after hearing Dent's outburst and shook his head in a hopeless manner. "No, Mr. Dent. You knocked her out cold; she didn't faint," he explained.
Dent gasped again and looked at his hands. "You're conspiring against me!" he hissed at them. The hands said nothing to defend themselves.
Crane sighed and rolled his eyes. "You need help."
Dent scoffed. "Oh like you can talk, Mr. Ex-Psychiatrist."
Crane frowned and kneeled down beside Ivy. He lifted her up into a sitting position and leaned her against the wall. "Miss Isley? Can you hear me?" he asked. Ivy's head limply slumped forward.
Dent let out a wail. "Oh no; I've killed her!"
"Oh calm yourself, you imbecile. She's merely unconscious. I'll get the nurse; you stay and try to be some form of useful." Crane left the two rogues alone.
Dent glanced nervously at Ivy. She probably wasn't going to be happy with him when she woke up, let alone, want to accept a Valentine from him. Dent sighed and face-palmed himself. "Idiot," he muttered.
Crane was back with Nurse Amber in no time and stood back to observe how she handled the situation. "You really knock the girls off their feet, don't you, Harvey?" she joked. Dent gave her a half smile.
Soon Ivy's eyelids fluttered open and she slowly sat up. "What happened? All I remember is…" Her eyes narrowed when she caught sight of Harvey. "Dent!"
Harvey scratched the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. "Hi, Ivy." He glanced down at the card in his hand, unsure of what to do. "Here," he said in a shaky voice and set it down on the floor within reaching distance. He scampered away, leaving Ivy with Crane and Amber.
Amber put a hand on Ivy's shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Ivy had been in the middle of rubbing her head but stopped when she felt Amber's hand. She gazed at the contact for a brief second before looking away. "Yes, I'm fine," she muttered.
"Good." Amber smiled and stood up to see if she was needed elsewhere. Ivy and Crane watched as she walked away. None of the Arkham staff really touched the rogues… but Amber had.
The Joker was teasing Harvey. He gave him a slap on the back. "I never knew you had it in you! I've wanted to knock Ivy out for so long! Ha ha ha ha ha!" he cackled.
"I didn't mean to!"
"Of course you did! You just don't know it!"
"Joker, stop trying to manipulate Dent," Amber said as she passed by. She turned to look back at Harvey. "By the way, Dent, Ivy's looking at your card," she added with a smile.
Dent spun around to see Ivy reading the words inside. When he had been making the card, both sides of him wanted to write something down; so the entire inside of the card had words written on them. Ivy's green eyes looked up from the card and fell on Dent. The slightest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Dent practically sailed into the air! "She likes it!"
The Joker put a hand on Dent's shoulder to keep him anchored to the Earth. "Whoa, boy! Heel!" he ordered. Dent calmed down just a bit.
….
Amber felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see an orderly holding a red sheet of construction paper with lots or intricate designs on it. "This is for you from someone who wishes to be nameless," he explained and placed it in her hands. The orderly walked away, leaving Amber with a perplexed expression on her face. She looked down at the card and opened it up.
Two-Face nudged the Joker with his elbow and jerked his head in Amber's direction. "Hey, lookie-there," he said. The Joker cocked his head to the side when he saw what it was Dent wanted him to see.
The Riddler furrowed his brow and looked at Katlyn 1 and Katherine. "Did you?" he mouthed.
"No," they mouthed back.
Okay; so apparently his little followers hadn't put their match making plan into action. They looked just as curious as the rest of Amber's charges.
Crane adjusted his glasses, observing the smile that Amber gave while reading the words in the card. "Hm…," he said, thoughtfully.
Of course, the Joker was the first to ask. "What'cha got there, sweetheart?"
Amber nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden appearance of the Joker as he leaned over her shoulder to read the card. Amber whisked it out of sight and glared at the Joker. "Nosey!" she said, annoyed.
The Joker chuckled and tried to reach for the card. "Come on; lets' see what it says, hm?" he insisted.
Amber held it away from his reach, a hand on her hip as she said, "No."
The Joker cocked an eyebrow. "Listen, Amber-."
"Nurse Amber!"
"Nurse Amber! I'm not used to people telling me no. Well, actually I am, but then I get them to change their answer pretty quickly. You get what I'm saying?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Good. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."
Amber pretended to consider the Joker's options and looked at him calmly. "You're right. We can do this the easy way…or the hard way…" She inclined her head in Lyle Bolton's direction.
The Joker chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before turning and skulking away. "Stupid, difficult, woman; won't be a good sport about giving me a little peek at a love letter…" he muttered under his breath.
Amber looked in Joan's direction to see her giving a thumbs up. Amber released the breath she'd been holding in. Her knees felt a little wobbly. She couldn't believe she had just stood her ground like that! Man, she was definitely changing from the old, shy, Amber into something else! She looked back at her card and reread some of the words. It wasn't a proclamation of a secret love, but it was sweet and nice. In fact, it even mentioned that the sender had seen a change in her since her first day.
Amber looked up and scanned the faces of all the male staff in the room. She had been in Arkham for nearly seven months and she had an admirer? "Nah; probably some joke the staff is pulling on the newbie," she told herself. She met Lyle Bolton's eyes for a brief moment and he nodded his head at her in acknowledgement. What if he had sent her the card? Amber couldn't hold back a shiver. She sincerely hopped not! Bolton didn't seem like the kind of guy to send Valentine card to anyone, so it was probably not him.
Amber shook herself out of her thoughts and walked over to her group of charges who had all gathered at a corner table. "Alright, gang. Activity time," she announced.
Katelynn 2 flung her hands in the air. "Wheee!" she cried happily.
The Joker rolled his eyes at the girl. "Thank insanity, she's not in my group today," he thought to himself.
"Joker," Amber called.
The Joker turned his head in her direction. "Yeah?"
"I've been informed that the activity you had chosen for today is filled up and you'll have to be moved to Bingo since it's the only one available."
The Joker shrugged. "Fine with me."
Katelynn 2 wrapped her arms around the Joker. "Yea! That's my group!"
The Joker's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Not fine with me! Not fine with me!" he shouted as he struggled to pry Katelynn 2's arms away. He gave Amber a pleading look.
"Katelynn 2, release!" Immediately, Katelynn2 removed herself from the Joker and sat with her legs drawn in and her chin resting on her knees. She gave Amber a cheesy grin. Amber smiled back. "Good girl."
The Joker groaned and put his head in his hands. Harley was instantly by his side. "What's wrong, Puddin'?" she asked.
The Joker moaned and lifted his head to look at Harley. "Would you just leave me alone?"
"Why would she do that? After all, Mr. Joker, you're irresistibl-ah," Amber teased, mimicking the way he talked.
The Joker's fists clenched. Then, he suddenly smiled. "You're mighty irresistible yourself," he said, calmly. Amber raised an eyebrow. The Joker gave a wicked grin before he continued. "Irresistible to ticking me off; and when I get ticked off…," he giggled, "the person who made me mad regrets it for the rest or small remaining moments or their life. Sooo… I think you better watch what you say around me."
Everyone was silent as they watched the two of them. Amber seemed to have paled a bit as the Joker continued to glare at her. The tension was electrifying. "Joker," a guard called. The Joker finally pulled his gaze away from Amber. The guard jerked his head at the Joker as a sign to follow him. The Joker looked back at Amber and smiled, sickeningly, at her. "See ya around, sweetheart," he said and walked away with Katelynn 2 to join their activity group. Amber waited until the Joker was out of sight before she finally looked down at her hands to see that they were trembling.
….
During Bingo, Katelynn 2 sat next to the Joker, humming to her favorite tune while the Joker glared at her from the corner of his eye. "Na na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na na na, Batman!"
The Joker groaned and let his head bang onto the table, making his bingo chips rattle. He lifted his head and used one hand to cradle his chin as his elbow stayed connected to the table. He was so bored in here! He couldn't stand listening to the orderly drone out letters and numbers anymore! The words were beginning to blend together and turn into other words.
"B Four, B Four, Bfour, Bour, Beour … Beuller… Beuller… Beuller…" Wait; what?
Katelynn 2 noticed the frown on the Joker's face. She grinned broadly at him. "Why so serious, Mr. J?"
The Joker sat straight up and sputtered at her. He clenched his fists. "If I had my knife…," he threatened.
"Aaaw. Are you sad without your little friend?" Katelynn 2 asked. She then broke out into song.
"I know, I know, you've been locked out of sight all these years
Like me, my friends
Well I've come home to find you waiting!
Home and we're together-!"
The Joker shot up from his chair and covered Katelynn's mouth. "Shut up!" he shouted.
"Aggressive patient! Aggressive Patient!" a guard yelled out. Crap, he'd been spotted.
Katelynn 2 took advantage of the situation and put her hand to her forehead in a dramatic fashion. "Help! I'm being murdered; I'm too young to be murdered!"
The Joker looked around to see a swarm of guards running towards him. "What; no! This little demon is not innocent!" He released Katelynn 2 and jumped onto the table top. He started running in the opposite direction, kicking Bingo cards and chips into the air as he did so.
"Quick1 Get a tazor on him!" someone shouted.
"No! Not again!" What was with these guards and their fetish for tazors!
The Joker came to the end of the table and found two guards waiting for him. He leapt into the air and flew over their heads. He landed on the next table with a roll and sprang to his feet. The Joker cackled wildly at the surprised faces of the guards and kept running across the table.
All the commotion was making many of the patients nervous and upset. Some went into a frenzy and began to make a ruckus with the other patients and orderlies. This took the attention off the Joker as the guards went to assist orderlies with restraining patients from choking, punching, scratching, biting, and basically hurting each other.
The Joker turned to survey the damage he had done and inhaled deeply through his nose. He exhaled loudly. "Aaaah,I love the smell of Chaos in the morning," he said, grinning. A patient suddenly latched onto his ankle and attempted to pull him down from the table. "Down, Fido!" he snapped, and kicked the patient off. "Now to make my exit." He jumped off the table, gave a bow to no one in particular, and walked out of the room.
(There's the Valentine's Day special! I hope you liked it! I'm glad that a few reviewers gave me some ideas for the story! I made a mural of the Mad House Gang on my deviantart channel (InkStainedHands518) in case anyone would like to check it out. Leave me some reviews please!)