(Let's see what kind of mess our gang gets into this time!)

Chapter Ten

A Close Call

"Maybe it was Mark?" Joan offered as a suggestion. February had passed and Amber had received another card from her nameless sender. Amber had found the card in her locker that morning and now had it lying on the table for Joan to see. She and Joan were sitting at a table in the break room.

Amber shook her head at Joan's suggestion. "Doesn't Mark have a girlfriend?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," Joan said.

They thought a little bit more until Amber shrugged. "Well, I guess I'm just going to have to keep guessing."

Joan pushed away from the table. "My break is up. I'll see you later." She walked out of the room, leaving Amber to enjoy the rest of her break.

Amber put in her iPod's earphones and began tapping her foot to the music. Since she was the only one in the break room, she started to sing the lyrics with her eyes closed. Amber bobbed her head.

"I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi!
Baby, there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi!
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine;
Baby, you'll be famous
Chase ya down until you love me
Papa-papa-!"

A throat cleared loudly and Amber's eyes flew open. She froze in mid-head bob. Dr. Arkham stood in front of her, blinking. He nodded. "Nurse Amber…"

"Dr. Arkham…"

Dr. Arkham grabbed a chart from one of the boards on the wall, glanced at Amber, and then walked out. Amber's face turned crimson.

….

The Riddler was trying to stump Crane with one of his riddles. So far he was being fairly successful, which only made him annoying. "Would you like to hear another," he asked the ex-psychiatrist.

"Not really."

"Oh come on!"

"No, Nigma."

"Pleeeeeeeease!"

Crane shot him an icy blue glare. "If you ask me once again, I'll not be held responsible for the nightmares you'll have tonight," he threatened. Nigma flashed him a cheesy grin and pretended to zip up his lips. Crane smirked and held his head high. Only he knew what it took to stop him from asking those pesky riddles. There was a time when Nigma had not heeded Crane's threats and spent an entire night screaming in terror. Ever since then, Nigma had learned not to push his luck with Crane.

"I spy with my little eye… something…orange," Harley chirped.

Ivy let out a groan. They had been playing this game for ten minutes and it was getting on her last nerve; especially since there was very little to spy. "Harl, please, I can't do this anymore."

"Aw, come on; something orange!"

"Is it our uniforms?"

"Drat! You're good." Of course she was; the only things orange were Nigma and Ivy's hair and the uniforms!

The loud speakers clicked on and a man's worried voice spoke. "Attention Arkham staff; Victor Zsaz has escaped from his cell and is still in the building. Staff is instructed to get to safety and remain there until Zsaz is apprehended. If you are not in any safe zone, please travel in groups or pairs and never be alone. Be on your guard. Victor Zsaz is very dangerous and may be armed." The speakers squawked off and left a tense atmosphere.

The Joker banged his fist on his glass wall. "That Zsaz thinks he can escape and have all the fun? He doesn't know who he's messing with!"

Edward leaned against his own glass wall and rolled his eyes. "He's not messing with you, Joker, and it's not like you can do anything about it." A second later his brown eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when the Joker walked in front of Nigma's cell, grinning mischievously.

"Oh, can't I?" the Joker asked with an amused tone.

The Riddler flung himself against the glass, pressing his face on the surface and creating a squeak. A look of incredulity was written all over his features. "HOW?" he screeched.

The Joker leaned against the wall, supporting his weight on one hand while pretending to examine his fingernails on the other. "Elementary, my dear Nigma. The answer is simple…," he looked at Edward with a smug grin, "it's me!" The clown laughed long and hard at his joke and began to walk away.

"Puuuuuuuuddiiiiiiiin'!" The Joker came to a screeching stop, but didn't turn around. "You're not thinking of leaving me, are you?"

The Joker turned on his heel. A fake smile was plastered on his face as he walked back to Harley's cell. "Of course not, pumpkin," he lied. The Riddler chuckled maliciously and succeeded in getting a death glare from the Joker.

….

Amber had heard the announcement on her way to High Level Criminally Insane Ward. She began to panic when she realized that she was completely alone. There wasn't a single staff member or guard in sight! What would she do? Amber took a calming breath and tried to reason with herself. What were the chances that she'd run into Victor Zsaz? "One is a million."

BAM! Amber was knocked off her feet and slammed against the wall with a hand encircling her throat. Breathing became difficult and struggling did no good. Amber's eyes flew open when she saw her attacker was Victor Zsaz. "Congratulations, Amber Johnson! You're that one in a million!"

Zsaz held a kitchen knife to Amber's cheek. He smiled wickedly and moved the blade to her chin. "You'll be another mark," he whispered, breathlessly.

Amber went through her mental file cabinet of information she had picked up over time about all the patients in Arkham. Most of it came from what Joan, Gatsby, or her charges told her. But one piece of information leapt to the front of her mind. It was something the Joker had said to her. "If you ever want to make Zsaz spaz out then act like you don't believe he's honest about his marks. He'll be so focused on convincing you that he won't notice anything else." Victor Zsaz inflicted a mark on his body to represent each of his victims. He was very proud of them. Maybe if she could just distract him long enough…?

"Another mark?" Amber asked, hoarsely.

Zsaz reacted just the way she had hoped. He removed the knife from her chin and used the tip of the blade to point at the tally-marks that adorned the skin of his forearm. "A mark for every victim, and you're next." The blade was reacquainted with Amber's face.

"You've killed that many people?" Amber hoped her voice sounded doubtful to Zsaz. It sounded more like a choking squeak to her.

"Yes, all of them…. Why? You… you don't believe me?" Zsaz took the knife away from Amber and stared at her in disbelief. "You don't think I've killed this many people? Okay, okay; so I do have one extra mark, but that person escaped me before I could finish them off! I got cocky! I'm honest about my kills! I don't cheat, unlike my sister! She probably makes marks without killing anyone just so she can gloat at me, but she'll never have more marks than me! I'm the eldest; I -!" WHAM!

The hand constricting Amber's throat was removed and Zsaz was whisked out of sight by an orange blur. Amber sank to the floor, gasping for breath. She massaged the sore spot on her neck where Victor's fingers had dug into her skin. She'd most likely have a few bruises in the morning.

Amber looked to her left to see the Joker pinning Zsaz to the floor, knife against his neck. "Now, now, Zsaz; that's not the way to treat the nice nurse, is it?" The Joker held the knife up to the light and smirked at him. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, Zsaz. You know weapons aren't allowed in here. And by the way, you picked a pretty pathetic knife." Zsaz only growled and thrashed around.

Amber heard a noise and turned to see all of her charges heading her way. "How did they get out?"

Katherine and Katlyn 1 froze when they spotted Amber and their shoulders slumped. "Busted," Katherine muttered.

Harley stepped forward from the group and eyed the scene before them, curiously. "Uh, Puddin'; what's going on?"

"Zsaz here," the Joker said, gesturing at the mad man with the tip of the knife, "was trying to slice up our favorite nurse."

Harley glared at Zsaz and stamped her foot. "You idiot! She's the fun nurse!"

"I needed another mark! I need another mark!" Zsaz screamed.

"Oh why don't you go and be emo somewhere else?" Katherine scoffed. Katlyn 1 nodded in agreement. Zsaz howled and attempted to throw the Joker off of him in order to get at the two girls, but the Joker grabbed him by the shirt shoulders and roughly shoved him back down.

"I wouldn't do that if were you, Zsazy."

Amber shakily stood to her feet and grabbed the walkie-talkie that had been thrown from her waist clip to the other side of the hall when Zsaz collided with her. She coughed at the pain in her throat and pressed the talk button. "This is Nurse Johnson. I need security in the lower wing. I have Victor Zsaz restrained and need assistance immediately." A guard's voice came back telling Amber help was heading her way. She soon had a coughing fit from speaking too soon after her lack of air experience with Zsaz.

"Are you alright, Miss Amber?" Jervis Tetch asked. Amber nodded but continued to cough for a few minutes.

"Why didn't you tell them about us being out of our cells?" The Joker asked, not looking at Amber. Amber's coughs immediately stopped. She looked up at them and felt like slapping her forehead. She actually forgot to mention that deatail?

"You really do like us, don't you?" Jervis said, cheerfully.

"Well, I, uh, I-," Amber stuttered and broke into another fit of coughs.

"Of course she does!" Tommy Tetch cried, looking just as happy as his cousin. Amber felt a little torn. Her charges had helped her with Zsaz, yet they had been in the middle of escaping when they stumbled upon her. But the Joker didn't have to help… Why did he help her? Should she turn them in as attempt escapees; or should she…?

"Nurse Johnson?"

Amber turned to see three guards had shown up and were eyeing the unrestrained Joker as he held Zsaz down. "It's okay, boys; I was taking them to the Rec Room when Zsaz here tried to attack me. The Joker … actually saved me."

The guards' mouths dropped open as they stared at the Clown Prince of Crime in disbelief. He merely gave them a smug smile. "You're sure that's what happened?" One of them asked.

"Of course I'm sure! Now take Zsaz and go, will ya?"

The guards did as Amber asked and left. Amber let out a sigh and turned to face her charges. They were all staring at here in confusion. "You didn't turn us in?" Chelsea asked.

Katherine rolled her eyes. "Nah; that's kinda obvious."

"Just don't make me regret that decision, okay?" Amber muttered.

The Joker leaned on the wall next to Amber. He gave a devilish grin. "Now why would we do a thing like that?" he asked, smoothly.

"And what a surprise, I already do." Amber turned to face the Joker and held her hand out, palm up. . "Give me the knife."

The Joker feigned a look of ignorance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Joker, give me the dead gum knife right now or so help me, I will take away your dessert privileges!"

The Joker's hand dived into his sock and took out the weapon. "Oh you mean this knife?" he asked with a grin.

Amber snatched it away and turned on her heel to leave. She paused and bit her bottom lip. "Thank you."

The Joker jumped in front of Amber, blocking her exit. "Excuse me?" he asked, curiously.

"I said… thank you," she repeated, quietly.

The Joker cupped a hand to his ear and leaned close. "Come again?"

"Thank you," Amber hissed through clenched teeth.

The Joker stepped closer, thoroughly enjoying his teasing of Amber. "One more time, sweetheart, I couldn't hear you."

"Thank you! Are ya happy now?" Amber shouted.

The Joker straightened up and smirked. "Very much so," he answered.

Katherine and Katlyn 1 stood together, watching the scene between the Joker and Amber. "You know, Katlyn…. That little display the Joker put on with saving Amber could be seen as something…," Katherine said with a sly tone.

"Like what?"

"Like a certain clown taking a certain interest in the well-being of a certain nurse."

"Who are these certain people?" Katherine gave Katlyn 1 a blank stare until it finally clicked in Katlyn's mind. "Oh yeaaaaah; it could, couldn't it?"

"Mh-hmmm."

"What are we going to do?"

"We tell Mr. Riddler of our discovery and he'll help us come up with a scheme."

Katherine and Katlyn 1 hurried towards the person who was the object of their adoration and quickly filled him in. Nigma gave a smile that nearly made the girls squeal. "This could be … interesting," he said with a chuckle. …

Amber had no choice but to take her charges to the Rec Room since that's what she'd told the guards. Amber peeked inside the room to see who was around and felt relieved when she saw no one except guards and orderlies. She opened the door for her charges. "You've got the place to yourselves, guys," she told them. Amber was nearly trampled by them as they ran inside.

Amber blinked in confusion at their sudden burst of excitement. She looked back at them and found out the reason why. They were heading for the TV's remote control. All thirteen patients leapt for the control and head butted each other. The two that recovered the quickest were the Joker and Nigma. Both men grabbed the remote and began jerking and pulling back and forth on the device.

"I grabbed it first!" the Joker yelled.

"Did not! My fingers were clearly touching it before you snatched it up, so I get the remote!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Fingers don't count!"

"It stands to good reason that they do!"

"Why don't you take that good reason, Nigma, and shove it up you're a -!"

"Boys!" Amber snapped, cutting off the Clown Prince of Crime, who at this particular moment was acting more like a six year old. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

"Yeah, Nigma; for shame. You should know how to behave better."

"I'm the one? It takes two people to play tug-of-war!"

"Actually, there can be many people to play tug-of-war," Jervis interrupted.

"Stay out of this!" Nigma and the Joker shouted. The Mad Hatter practically shrank from their fierce glares. Amber couldn't help but feel sorry for Jervis.

"Here's an idea," Amber said as she walked towards them, "how about no one gets the remote?" She snatched the remote out of their hands and put it away. Thirteen voices began to whine and complain. Amber rolled her eyes and put both hands on her hips. "Really guys, if you're just going to argue over the remote like that, then it can be assumed that each of you will want to watch something different. I'm just trying to avoid another argument."

"Look, Amber," the Joker began and caught the elevated eyebrow she sent in his direction. "Nurse Amber; since I'm the leader of this group, I might as well have the decision of what we watch."

Two-Face whipped his head around. "Who said you're the leader?"

"Since I said so, Mr. Double Mint Twin."

Dent growled and began to rise from his seat. "Down, boy," Amber cautioned. He threw her a pout but sat down with his arms folded over his chest. "Dent's right though, Joker. You're not the leader of this group; I am."

The Joker collapsed in a fit of laughter. "What on Earth makes you think you're our leader?" he gasped.

"Since I'm the one who's friends with a doctor who has the authority to send you to solitary confinement."

The Joker's laughter instantly ceased. "Touché," he muttered.

Amber unlocked a drawer in the corner of the wall and opened it. "We could watch a movie; how does that sound?"

"Oh boy! Movie night!" Nigma cried, giddily and leapt into the air over the top of the sofa and landed in the empty space next to Katherine. Katherine had somehow produced a bucket of popcorn from out of nowhere. Nigma bumped her elbow and made the bucket of popcorn go flying in the air. Some bits landed in the Joker's hair, the brim of Jervis' top hat, Crane's shoulders, and Chelsea's lap. Tommy reached up and ate some kernels off of his cousin's hat until Jervis slapped away his hand.

Amber leaned on the TV in front of the patients. "Sooo; what'll it be, ladies and gentlemen?"

"And Ivy," the Joker chuckled. He received an elbow to his ribs from Harley. "Ouch! What?"

"You know what, Mistah J."

Amber cleared her throat and continued. "what move would you like to watch? I've got a few DVDs that I pulled from the movie library here, and they should all be Arkham approved."

"Then they must suck," Katherine said, which got a few snickers.

Amber held a small stack of DVDs up and showed them each individually as she called out the title. "The Little Mermaid?" She looked at their faces. No response. "While You Were Sleeping?"

The Joker snickered. "Sounds kinda questionable," he said and reached across to Katherine to steal a handful of popcorn. She slapped at his hand until he withdrew it, a triumphant grin on his face.

"A Knight's Tale?"

Harley giggled. "Ya know, Puddin', there's a guy in that movie that reminds me of you."

"Labyrinth?"

"YES!" Amber jumped and looked up to see Harley, Ivy, Katherine, Katlyn 1, Katelynn 2, and Chelsea standing on their feet; their eyes gleaming wildly.

Amber blinked and held it up again. "You've seen this?" she asked in surprise.

"About 15 million times when I was younger!" Harley squealed.

The men of the group looked completely lost, but Crane was the one to voice their thoughts. "What's Labyrinth?"

Katherine's jaw nearly touched the floor. "You have never seen the awesomeness that is the Labyrinth?"

"No, he merely asked because he felt like it," the Joker muttered.

"Two words, Mr. Crane: David. Bowie," Katelynn 2 answered.

The Riddler rolled his golden brown eyes. "That's a name, genius."

"Well, here's three words with a name: David. Bowie. In. Tight. Pants!" Chelsea exclaimed.

Crane eyed the DVD case. "This is some kind of chick flik, isn't it?" he asked, suspiciously.

Harley stood with her hands on her hips. "No, Mr. Smarty Pants; it's not!"

Amber lightly traced the edge of the DVD case with her thumb as she stared at the cover thoughtfully. "She's kinda right, Crane. It's more of an adventure/ fantasy film," she replied.

Crane shook his head. "I'm not going to watch it," he answered.

"Well, it's not entirely up to you. We'll vote," Amber told him. "All those in favor?" Katherine, Katlyn 1, Katelynn 2, Chelsea, Ivy, and Harley raised their hands. "And all opposed?" Nigma, Jervis, Joker, Crane, Caleb, and Tommy raised their hands. The only person who didn't vote was Dent. Everyone looked at him. "Well, Dent, what's your decision?" Amber asked.

Sweat began to form on his forehead. "Uuuh?"

"Come on, Dent. You're the tie-breaker."

Dent pulled out his coin and flipped it. "Um… I guess we're, uh… we're watching Labyrinth," he muttered. All men groaned as the girls cheered happily.

"You and that stupid coin!" the Joker whined.

"don't insult that coin, Mistah J! It knew a good movie when it heard the title!"

"Yeah Joker, don't diss the coin," Harvey said, smugly and settled into his seat. Amber inserted the DVD and turned on the TV by using the remote control. Even though the men hadn't wanted to watch they quieted down when the film started. All through the movie the female patients were mouthing lines or singing along to the songs or squealing when David Bowie appeared on screen.

The Joker glanced over at Amber, who had dragged a chair to be next to the sofa on his side. She was watching the movie with a smile on her face. Then, as if she suddenly remembered, Amber looked away from the movie to run a checkup glance over her patients to make sure they were all there and no one had snuck off. When her eyes landed on the Joker, he lifted an eyebrow playfully at her. She rolled her eyes and looked back at the screen.

"Mistah J, do you think you'd let me fix your hair like that?"

The Joker looked at the Goblin King's wild, anime-like hair and then looked back at Harley. "Oh heck no!"

"Aw, come on, Puddin'! Pleeeeeaaase?" Harley begged.

"No!"

"Oh pwetty pwetty pweeeease?"

"No!"

"But Puddin'-!"

"I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now!" All the patients stared at the Joker. The realization of what he just said slowly came to him as he glowered at the TV. He smacked his palm against his forehead. "AAAH! This movie is poisoning my mind!" he groaned.

As the movie progressed, Amber noticed Tommy, Jervis, and Harvey seemed to be drawn into the plot and were watching the screen with rapt attention. She tried hard to contain a laughing fit when she saw the look on Harvey's face. He was wide-eyed with interest.

Harley was still trying to talk the Joker into getting some sort of Goblin King make over. "What if we trade your suit for one of his outfits?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Is that a trick question?" Katherine asked, sarcastically.

The movie was nearing its end and the heroine faced the Goblin King as he offered her her dreams. "Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave…"

Crane quirked his eyebrows as high as they could go. "Of all the oxymorons on Earth-! That doesn't even make any sense!"

Katherine quickly stuffed Crane's mouth with popcorn. "Sh!" Her attention was once again captured by the beautiful Goblin King. Crane glared at her but his glares went unnoticed. The film ended and Amber turned to see the Joker silently pleading with her to make Harley stop begging him to change his style. Amber got off her seat and ignored him. She took out the DVD and placed it back in the DVD cabinet.

Amber turned to see Harvey Dent wiping tears away from his good eye. "Beautiful… just… *sniff* beautiful," he whimpered. Amber smiled and rolled her eyes good naturedly.

"Alright everyone. I think it's time for you to go back to your cells." A collective groan rang out from her charges but Amber shook her head. "Nuh-uh! Go to your cells."

They began to move and soon Katherine and Katlyn 1 started to sing. "Dance Magic, Dance! Dance Magic, Dance! Put that magic jump on me!"

Crane screamed and covered his ears. "No!" he knew he'd never be able to sleep tonight since those two girls had cells on both sides of his own. The Joker was also going to lose some sleep; so would the Riddler. It was going to be a long, sleepless night.

(So there we go! More insanity is to come, don't you worry! But I have no more full chapters written out already. The rest are scraps of ideas that I plan on using. I'd like it if any one has any ideas in mind for this story. Please leave a review. Thanks!)