Chapter 4-Bylaws
Rick was getting frustrated. He never had a minute alone with Michonne. Not a single damn minute. They were nearing the end of week two and someone was still always close in vicinity to them or interrupting them, or bothering them for something or rather. When she was in the shower the day before, he slipped in with Michonne to her delight and right when things were about to get good, Judith started to scream her head off. Michonne and Rick froze, waited, and listened to ensure Carl or Carol would get her, and when the screaming did not stop, Michonne jumped out of the shower, dressed, and ran towards the nursery.
Rick was not a happy camper. He tried to keep her from leaving what he thought was pure heaven by asking if she would consider trying the parenting technique, Cry It Out. Michonne ignored his nonsense, she was not going to let Judith cry herself to sleep just so Rick could get a little shower action. Rick pouted and she pushed him from in front of shower door, cutting her eyes at him daring him to keep blocking her exit. Rick finally relented and she and headed towards their daughter. Before Michonne got to the nursery, she smelled the most horrible stench and pinched her nose in repulsion. When she peered into the room, Judith had shit every damn where and those two bastards Carl and Carol hightailed it straight out of the house. She wondered why the front door was slightly ajar. She held her breath and picked Judith out of her crib. Shit was all over the sheets, and crib bars and all over Judith. 'I'm gonna have to burn the crib and everything else in there,' Michonne thought as she looked inside and almost puked. She held Judith at arm's length all the way downstairs to her bathroom thinking she would seriously need to ask Aaron if there was an extra crib around the community.
Rick was too busy dry heaving to be any help, so Michonne cleaned her with about fifty baby wipes from the welcome box to give her a quick wash off before bathing her in the tub. When Michonne reached back to hand the overloaded and disturbingly stinky diaper and dirty wipes to Rick, he was gone. "Fuck," she hollered. "RICK!" There was no response. "Damn Bastards."
Presently, Rick was pacing back and forth in the kitchen trying to think of a way to get rid of Noah for a few days so their children could sleep in their own room and he could have some alone time with Michonne. He tried to pawn his kids off on his extended family, but they were getting their own personal time in with each other and told Rick in a few weeks, once they were settled, they would gladly take them anytime. Really, The Crew were just fucking with Rick, they knew what he was trying to do with Michonne and decided as a group to be haters, figured they would have a little fun at his expense. Sometimes an annoyed Rick was a funny Rick, and they absolutely loved watching Rick's hilarious ass antics. He also begged them to take Noah for a few days, they all laughed in his face, see point one above, and then Rick stomped off all 'pissy and shit,' according to Darryl who laughed and pointed it out to the rest of the snickering crew. As he jumped out of his reflection, Rick had a brilliant idea and ran out of the house looking for his best runner and most trusted friend.
"Glen, why don't you take Noah on your run today. Y'all are gonna be gone for a few days right?" Begged Rick hoping he would give him the break he needed and agree.
"Nah, we thought we were gonna have to go further out to look for supplies, but these fools never went past a mile out. Scared to go any further! So we are just gonna go to the shopping center about 3 miles up. We should be back in a few hours." Shrugged Glen.
"Shit," said Rick.
"What's up," asked Glen.
"Noah is causing a rift with me and Michonne," sighed Rick.
"What? He trying to hit on Michonne," Glen asked pretending to be shocked but already heard about the snoring from Carl.
"His damn snoring is causing the kids to sleep in the room with me and Michonne, and y'all won't take him, I can't get any alone time with her!" Rick yelled.
"You and Michonne share a room?" Glen said impressed not realizing that detail, "Damn Dawg, you finally hitting that!"
"NO! Again cuz of Noah, the kids sleep with me and Michonne downstairs because it's so loud. I need him out the house, Carol too," Rick was agitated at this point.
"What did Carol do?" Inquired Glen already taking a step back to run and tell Maggie the new gossip about Rick and Michonne's bunkmate status.
"Nothing," indicated Rick with a smug look. Carol did not have to do anything specific.
With that idea nixed, Rick walked back towards his house and stopped dead in his tracks when saw Michonne laughing with Spencer. His blood boiled. He wanted to walk right up to them and punch Spencer in the face. Instead, he took a deep breath and calmly strolled up to the two.
"Hey, Whatcha doing?" Rick sang in a sing song voice trying to sound calm and instead came off sounding bizarre and slightly condescending.
"Hey Rick," Michonne eyed his odd behavior and Spencer cut his eyes at Rick interrupting his quality time with Michonne, "Spencer and I were talking about creating some bylaws for the community."
"Yes, I figured we could meet up after our shifts and map everything out," said Spencer never taking his eyes off the love of his life.
"That sounds like a good idea," smiled Michonne who was going to play along with the leaders son. They were still too new to the community to risk saying no. She did not want any trouble and her family getting tossed out of Alexandria. "So what, 8pm tonight night, first meeting?"
"Yes, sounds like a plan!" Spencer hollered a little to eagerly for Rick's taste.
"Yes, WE will be there," said Rick, not surprising Michonne at all.
"You're coming? You sure you don't have to help hair club with anything?" Michonne chuckled. Rick gave Michonne an up and down, watch yourself look.
"Yes, I am. We are both the law MAH-CHONNE, not just you." Michonne snorted, she has been so delighted by this new Rick since coming to Alexandria. Outside the gates, he was always so serious, since being there, he has been a jealous goofball and she was all here for it.
Rick turned his attention back to Spencer. "Are there any empty houses in the community?" Rick asked Spencer and ignored Michonne laughing at his expense.
"No, not since before you came, but there are some little guest suites in the back of the community. They are small, one or two bedrooms only, and would have mostly been an amenity for residents as a place for their guests to stay. The primary reason was meant to keep a lot of cars off and cluttering the streets. But they are not done yet, they were still building them when all this started," replied spencer as he waved to the chaos happening outside the gates.
"Where is your father? I need to talk to him about something," Rick asked already full-blown running to the Monroe house to speak to Reginald. Michonne watched Rick run down to the Monroe house like a lunatic. She was so entertained.
Rick had the idea to get the construction crew to focus on completing the guest suites under the guise of creating space for new arrivals. But his real plan would be to move Noah into one and Pete into another and Carol could kick rocks. Reginald was ecstatic about the idea and showed Rick the plans and blueprints. Rick walked to the back of the community and noticed five suites in various stages of construction. One of them was just about done and the other four could be finished in three months' time he figured. He took Abraham, who headed construction crew, with him to the site in order to determine the supplies they would need to finish the job.
"Why are we focusing this this instead of the wall Rick?" asked a confused Abraham.
"Because we need to be hospitable to new arrivals A-BRA-HAM!" Rick intoned snidely. This over pronouncing of names seemed to be a new thing for Rick lately.
"Oh, ok. I thought it might have something to do with Noah putting the block on your cock," laughed Abraham. "You planning on moving him into one of these so you can move into Michonne finally?"
Rick ignored Abe's inappropriate dirty comment, even though he was spot on. He would not admit it. "So, how long can you get three of these up and running. Move in ready?"
"Three?" Questioned Abraham, "Who are the other two for?"
"Pete, so his wife can leave me the fuck alone and Carol, so I won't have to look at her stupid face every day," exasperated Rick.
"You seem tense Rick," noticed Abraham who already knew why Rick was edgy.
"Tense in my balls," mumbled Rick lowly but Abraham still heard him anyway and laughed.
"Speaking of tense balls, what's up with Carols Susie homemaker routine?" Asked a baffled Abraham.
"Fuck if I know and I don't give a shit neither, I just want all of them motherfuckers out my house. Hey," Rick called to Abraham to answer a question that has been floating around the community lately, "which team are you on?"
"Team?" Abraham asked confused at his meaning.
"You think Pete is beating Jessie or the other way around?" Rick clarified.
"Definitely team Michonne. That blond got some damn anger issues, people have seen her hit her husband on multiple occasions," Informed Abraham.
"Huh? Really? Ok," Rick thought for a minute then decided to change the subject back to the houses, "How long before these suites are finished?"
"Well, this one is just about done, just need the flooring and appliances and paint, so maybe a week or two. The others, I need all that plus some drywall. Let me get you a list of supplies. I would say the rest should be done in two months. Who would you move in first?" Abraham asked knowing as sure as a donkeys balls were as saggy as a witches tit, it was Noah.
"Definitely Noah," replied Rick as Abraham snickered, "I need to get my home life right first, the kids need to be back sleeping in their rooms ASAP."
Abraham nodded and told Rick he would get him the list by the end of the week just watch Rick lose it. Everybody seemed to be having fun with Rick.
"HELL NO!, you get me that list TODAY! And I mean pronto!" Exclaimed Rick eyeing the big red headed man up and down before he left to go ask Glen to hold off on the run he was planning until he can give them an inventory of building supplies to add to the run list.
Later that evening, Rick was at the front door waiting for Michonne. He did not want her to slip by him because he had no clue where they were convening for the bylaws meeting. He ran away from them so fast trying to get to Reginald that he forgot to ask.
"So you were serious Huh," chortled Michonne as she noticed Rick waiting patiently at the front door.
"I want to make this community work too Michonne," riled Rick as he looked at her outfit. 'Why did it have to be so tight,' he thought.
"You don't have nothing looser you could wear tonight?" He asked his almost girlfriend.
Michonne shook her head no and smiled so wide Rick thought it lit up the room. She found the whole situation funny and was prepared for humorous Rick tonight. She was giddy. As they left out of the house, Michonne yelled for Carol to keep an eye on the kids. Once outside, Rick took advantage of their time alone, even though it was in public and not the private alone time that he really craved, and took hold of her hand. They walked together hand-in-hand slowly with their locked fingers swinging back and forth. Rick rubbed the knuckles of her hand with his thumb and every so often brought the same hand up to his lip for a kiss. It was nice they both ruminated to themselves. The night was cool and the breeze added to the romantic atmosphere that they were creating for each other. When they got closer to the Monroe home, they were both disappointed that their romantic stroll was going to be short lived as they were almost to their destination. They hated it was ending.
"I wish we could just walk like this for a while longer, I'm enjoying this time alone with you Rick," Michonne said sweetly as she looked into Rick's blue eyes.
"Why can't we?" smiled Rick and gave her a chaste kiss on her full plump lips, then stepped back to eye her response.
Michonne grinned and moved closer to Rick and was just about to go in for another kiss and agree to blowing off the meeting when Spencer came stepping out of his home yelling specifically at Michonne, "Hey, come on in Michonne! And you too Rick." Ricks invitation was not as enthusiastic as Michonne's, Rick noticed with a grimace.
Rick blew out a breath, he was so close to having a wonderful night with his unofficial woman. Maybe not for sex per say, but to an even more intimate encounter with her, laughing, kissing and touching, maybe at the little park or out by the lake. He took a deep breath and looked at Michonne, who was looking back at Rick apologetically and regretfully concerning their missed opportunity. Rick wanted to slice Spencer's stupid pretty boy head off, but Michonne would then rip his head off if he ruined this for their kids, so he put on his best grin and walked inside the home.
"So how about a bylaw stating that NO community member can call another community member dumb for any reason," Spencer added jotting his idea down on the notepad while reflecting on how Jessie said he was too dumb to run a community.
Michonne was obviously irritated because this was in fact Spencer's fifth inane and nonsensical idea of the night. Michonne was just about to comment, "Spencer, like I said before," but was interrupted by Rick, who much to her dismay, had a mocking tone and fake grin on his face which meant he was about to be ugly.
"How about we can't wrestle bears on a full stomach or serve zombie fingers as snacks to new arrivals wearing yellow vests?" Rick chided, beyond aggravated that they were wasting their time. This was an obvious attempt for Spencer to get close to Michonne and he did not understand how she could not see this. Spencer had no clue what the hell he was doing.
Michonne knew what Spencer was up to, she was not stupid, nor was she interested in the dimwit. She just needed to keep everything calm and copacetic. If this was any other man than the leaders son, she would not give a damn about dismissing the trivial attempts to get her attention. She was just biding her time until they were accepted and became full blown members of the community, lessening the chance of them getting tossed out on their asses. Then she would put Spencer in his place.
"Rick, you are not helping," said an exasperated Michonne.
"No, no, both are good! Now we are getting somewhere." Said a thrilled Spencer who thought he looked like a big man in front of Michonne.
Rick stared at Michonne and she knew what his body language was saying. He was getting impatient and hotheaded and was about to explode all over Spencer. So she got up from her seat and stood behind him and began to rub his shoulders. Rick instantly melted at her touch and it felt divine as she was rubbing the knots in his neck and shoulders. Rick closed his eyes and he relaxed and Spencer took notice and became agitated and just had to wreck Rick's mood.
"You look like you have magic hands Michonne, will you do me next?" And the way Spencer said "do me" set Rick's brain to ferocious. He got up so fast that Michonne could not pull him back quick enough. She had to jump over the couch and stand in-between a cowering Spencer pretending not to be terrified, and a furious Rick.
"Come again?" Rick asked Spencer now only inches away from his face with Michonne sandwiched in between.
"Rick, let's go," then turning to Spencer, "I think we got a great deal accomplished for one night." Michonne pushed Rick towards the front door which was a herculean task because Rick was almost unmovable in this state.
"Ok, Michonne, whatever you want. Same time tomorrow night?" Asked a clueless Spencer to Michonne. Rick lost it and lunged towards Spencer, but again, Michonne used all her strength to pull him back and out the house. Spencer was oblivious about how close he came to death. Michonne totally misjudged the evening. She did not get Humorous Rick as she had hoped. She instead got Murder Rick, and Murder Rick was ready to reign hellfire and brimstone down on Spencer Monroe.