Adam was… well, livid would be putting it lightly.
On some level, sure, he was beyond pissed off that Michael had landed them in this situation; But beyond that? What he hated even more? What really got to him? Was that the archangel hadn't even hesitated in putting himself in danger, too. There was no second-guessing until it was too late, the possibility of being hurt not seeming to deter him until he remembered that Adam was involved, too. Adam knew he had completely twisted, flipped ideas of self-worth, but he hadn't thought that the archangel's hatred of himself had gone deep enough for him to genuinely not care about whether he lived or not. He hadn't thought his grief over Lucifer had gone that deep, either. And now Adam didn't know how to feel, but he was furious - for so, so many different reasons, he was furious.
And so, he stayed absolutely silent, but remained in control - mostly because, pissed as he was at Michael, he didn't want to leave him to deal with everything. Maybe once they got settled in the school again, sure, but seeing as nobody was moving at the moment, that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. The demon huffed out a low sigh through his teeth, prompting the other archangel - Gabriel - to look toward them again, seeming slightly unnerved.
"Crowley?" Dean finally managed to choke out, and Adam's gaze shifted toward his older brother, quirking an eyebrow. Beside them, Belphegor seemed to visibly twitch at the sound of the other demon's name, and a quiet, mumbled curse escaped his lips before he was silent again, shifting back on his feet and keeping a careful hold on Michael and Adam's shoulder. Crowley wiggled his eyebrows at Dean.
"Evening, Squirrel. Wonderful day, isn't it?" The demon tipped his head back, eyeing the sky - Belphegor huffed out an irritated-sounding sigh - and smirked. "Suppose it's always nice when you can actually see the sky," he added idly, turning back to the Winchesters. "Listen. I do enjoy that slack-jawed expression on your faces, funny as it is, but an explanation would be nice. Such as…" His gaze flicked toward Belphegor. "Who are you?"
"Jack?" Gabriel sounded distracted, now, his gaze no longer on Michael, but focused on the maybe-demon beside them. In response, Belphegor's knuckles had turned white, he was gripping their shoulder so hard, his head turning briefly in Crowey's direction, then Gabriel's.
"No," Sam started to explain, seeing as Belphegor wasn't about to pipe up anytime soon. "No, he's not… Jack. He's, um-"
"Irrelevant," Belphegor ground out through clenched teeth, and Adam raised an eyebrow at the maybe-demon somewhat skeptically. Michael had surged up again, a sudden burst of energy bringing him back to power, and he narrowed their eyes faintly toward the other as Belphegor shifted another step back, still holding them up with ease. "I think explanations can wait. We've kinda got a weakened archangel and demon, here."
"Demon?" Gabriel's gaze flicked back to Adam and Michael, and the demon spared him a sharp, sarcastic smile in response, his eyes growing a little bit heavier. He was just as exhausted, but it was easier now with Michael in control again, even if both of them were still slipping. Gabriel just stared, the archangel practically radiating confusion, before it diminished all at once into a look of realization, his mouth forming a small "o" shape before it snapped shut.
Crowley just stared at Belphegor, eyes narrowed.
Belphegor just stared back, silent, until Dean finally stepped in to defuse the situation. "Alright, okay, he's got a point. Let's move it on back to the school, come on. Bel, can you fix the salt line?" The hunter inclined his head toward the barrier as he stepped toward Adam and Michael; The demon tensed, noticeably so, and Belphegor immediately pulled the demon and the archangel away from the hunter, turning his head in Dean's direction.
"Yeah, I can." Belphegor turned his head toward Adam and Michael, and the demon just stared at him for a moment before the maybe demon finally - and somewhat reluctantly - released them over to Dean; Sam came up on the other side to support them, while Dean hooked his arm under theirs on the other side. Much as Adam hated it, it was a good thing, too, because neither of them were quite capable of standing right then.
Michael had turned their head to watch Belphegor, silent as the maybe-demon approached the rift, finally able to get close now that there were no more souls streaming through - and their eyes narrowed as he reached out to close it, hand passing through effortlessly even after he had, not at all affected by the salt line. Demon, my ass, Adam mumbled. Michael didn't respond.
"C'mon," Sam mumbled to them, rousing the both of them from their thoughts; Adam glanced toward his older brother, a sour expression appearing on his face at once - ignoring the way Sam frowned ever so slightly in response - as they turned to lead them back. Michael let their gaze trail toward Gabriel, locking eyes with him for a second; Adam could feel the unease stirring in his chest as he stared at his brother, before finally looking away again.
Belphegor brushed past Crowley, who simply turned his head to watch him go; Belphegor's head turned slightly in response, as if meeting his gaze, just for a second as he passed; And then he was facing ahead again, approaching Sam, Dean, Adam and Michael with his jaw set and eyebrows raised. "It's not far." His head turned toward the demon and the archangel slightly. "You two alright?"
"Ask again tomorrow, big shot," Adam muttered, and, once again, Michael was unresponsive. Adam thought at first maybe the archangel had finally passed out, but he was still there. Belphegor snorted slightly in response, and seemed to move a little bit closer to them, but for the most part he kept his distance and allowed Sam and Dean to lead them back.
About halfway there, Michael abruptly retreated.
Adam paused, going still for a second, but he kept walking before Sam and Dean could question why he'd stopped. They glanced at him, concerned and confused, but the demon didn't return their stares. After a moment, gazing ahead, the demon shut his eyes and retreated, himself - enough to follow after Michael, at least, and still be in control enough to not be a complete dead weight. Still, he went slightly slack in their arms, and ignored their concerned shouts as he let himself drift away, whisking himself to the back of their mind.
Michael wasn't in either of the parks, or any of the Heaven memories. Adam spent a good while searching for him, almost ready to assume that he was asleep - which he would have thought if the archangel wasn't still there, still conscious. New emotions would rise from him every now and again - anger, confusion, worry - but they all led back to the hollow, painful guilt he'd been feeling for the past few days, the one emotion he could never seem to shake.
A part of Adam insisted that Michael should feel guilty for this, for almost getting himself- for almost getting the both of them killed. The rest of him didn't quite agree, but he was far too stubborn to be able to admit that. The demon exhaled, setting his jaw, and continued on.
He finally found Michael in the darkness, pushed back to the furthest corner of their mind. The archangel was pacing, his head in his hands, eyes screwed shut, shaky and unstable; For just a split second, Adam halted, his mind immediately flashing back to the Cage; When Michael would do nothing but pace the floor for hours, mumbling, holding himself tightly as if he was afraid he would fall apart - as if he hadn't already shattered to pieces. It was somewhat reminiscent to that, watching him now, and the mere thought made Adam feel… sick.
"Michael?" The demon finally managed, taking a few steps forward. Michael stopped and turned at once - good, he was at least somewhat responsive - but his gaze only flickered over Adam briefly, a shadow of guilt returning to his face, before he had turned and continued pacing, dropping his arms and wrapping them around himself instead. Adam fell silent, just watching, unsure of what to say or do now.
Michael broke the silence, somewhat reluctantly. "I thought, I thought I could… I thought if I… If I could stop them- if I could protect… I didn't…"
Staring at him, the anger returned; He wasn't even pissed at this point that Michael had put them in danger, he was just pissed that Michael had put himself in danger, almost gotten himself killed, just to prove a damn point to someone who didn't even give a shit. The demon narrowed his eyes slightly, fixing his gaze on the archangel once more. "You thought you could get to Him like that, didn't you?" He demanded, struggling to ignore the way Michael flinched. "You thought if you rushed in there and stopped those souls yourself…"
Michael stayed silent, but he slowed to a stop.
Adam's fury was reaching its peak, now. "You-" He cut off, taking a deep breath, and held it for a good few seconds before he spoke again, teeth clenched. "You fucking moron. You thought that almost getting yourself killed would solve anything?!" He stepped forward, and Michael turned slightly to face him, but his gaze was fixed upwards, refusing to look at the demon. "Is that how you're going to go about this now, dumbass? Reckless and stupid? Putting yourself in danger- almost getting yourself killed- what the hell, Michael?! Are you suicidal?!"
"So what if I am, Adam?!" Michael finally yelled back, whirling around completely to face him now, his eyes colder than the demon had ever seen before. And it caused him to step back, almost instantly; It wasn't really the shouting that had shocked him, or even the expression on Michael's face, but the words got to him more than anything. "I mean, really, what's the point, huh? Clearly, I'm useless either way! Clearly, no matter what I do- nothing- nothing is ever good enough and nothing will ever make up for what I've done, and clearly there's nothing I can do against him now- so what-" The archangel broke off, almost choking on his words, and screwed his eyes shut, "what the hell is the point?"
"... so you're just going to lay down and die," Adam's voice shook as he spoke, a lot more than he cared for, but he continued regardless. "You're going to give up- because- of God."
"No, I'm not going to give up, I-" Michael forced his eyes open, blinking rapidly to force back the tears that had welled up. "I just thought- Fuck, I thought I could- if I just- went against what He wanted, for once, I thought I could make Him notice- make Him see…"
"Everybody goes against God, Michael!" Adam snapped, unsure whether to be angry or concerned, so he settled on a mixture of both. "Everybody rebels, every now and again-"
"But I don't, Adam!" Michael snarled, "I don't and I never have! I've always been the good son, the soldier, the warrior, the loyal archangel - and it's all been for nothing! All of it! Everything I've ever done, every time I've ever tried to please Him, every order I've obeyed, every command, it's all been for nothing because He- He doesn't care!"
"So what?!" Adam threw one hand up, his fury only intensifying further. "I mean, Jesus Christ, Michael, you heard Belphegor - He's probably in another fucking universe, by now! He's done, man, He's gone! A- A little rebellion, or- whatever the hell it is you're trying to do- that's not going to bring Him back! And to be honest, I don't see the damn point!"
"The point?" Michael shook his head a little, his face contorted in a mixture of disbelief and fury. "Don't you get it, Adam? There is no damn point! There's us, and then there's Him - and compared to that, we're nothing! We've always been nothing! And- and maybe- maybe this is all for nothing too, but I- I want-" He gritted his teeth, pain breaking through the anger for a second. "I want Him to pay for what He's done, to- to humanity, to Lucifer…"
Adam dropped his hand, staring at him. The anger didn't quite leave, but there was a slight twinge of understanding, a realization; He didn't just want God's attention, he wanted vengeance, justice for his brother. But, really, how did he expect to get that? Especially when he was hurling himself straight into the fire? Putting himself right in front of the loaded gun?
"So you…" Adam narrowed his eyes. "Your big plan… is to kill yourself… to get justice for your brother, Michael?" He rolled his eyes slightly. "That makes a whole lot of sense, buddy."
"I made a mistake, okay?" Michael breathed, running his fingers through his hair now, almost desperately. "I miscalculated- and I'm sorry, Adam, I'm really, really sorry. The last thing I want- the last thing I want is to lose you, too, and I never meant to put you in danger, but I-" At this, Adam finally snapped, throwing both of his hands down and storming forward.
"God dammit you fucking idiot, don't you get it?! It's not me I'm worried about!" The demon yelled, and the archangel jerked back a little, looking startled. "Okay?! I just- I just don't want you- ugh, I don't even-" The demon faltered to a stop, but the anger didn't fade; If anything, it seemed to intensify. "I just- you're going off about God and Lucifer- and I get it, okay? I miss Luce too. I do! But I…" Adam stopped, trailing off, and went still.
Michael was just staring at him, leaning back slightly, wide-eyed with nothing but absolute concern and confusion, his own anger seeming to have rapidly diminished and just disappeared. "You…?" He pressed after a second, his voice quieter, shaking with an emotion that Adam couldn't quite place.
The demon faltered again, glancing up at him. He was beyond angry; He was worried. Hell, he was downright scared. If something happened to Michael - whatever it was, whether he got himself hurt, or gave in to the insanity again, or broke down - Adam didn't know what he would do. For so long, the archangel had basically been his rock; And to see him in this state was terrifying, and worrying, because Adam didn't know if even Michael was capable of coming back from this. Capable of fighting the betrayal, and the pain that was clinging to him, the grief.
He was scared of Michael losing himself - he was scared of losing Michael, and that's what he'd been terrified of all along. That's why he'd been anxious to leave the Cage, because the archangel might not need him anymore; He might leave. And that's what he was worried about now - that maybe this really was all too much for Michael, and in whatever way, he'd end up losing him. Just like he'd lost everything else.
A myriad of emotions flitted across Michael's face, his gaze never leaving Adam's. There was shock, and then confusion, and then worry, and then disbelief - and then, finally, there was the realization, and the archangel seemed to falter. "Adam, I…" Michael swallowed, straightening up again. "I'm not going to- I'm not going to leave, I- I haven't even- I haven't even considered…"
Adam didn't respond for a moment, simply letting his gaze flick away.
"I know I've been a little-" Michael stopped, hesitating, before starting again. "I know I've been distant lately. I'm sorry, I- I just, there's so many things to do, I'm so…" The archangel faltered, and Adam shook his head a little and sighed, running his fingers through his hair and stepping back. Michael glanced up, his tired gaze focusing on the demon. "But I'm not leaving. Not- not unless you say you want me to."
Adam set his jaw slightly, looking down. "What I want is for you to stay alive, Michael."
"And I will," Michael insisted, frowning.
"Not if you're so reckless, you won't," Adam snapped, but there was no real bite to his words now, just a tired desperation. "You can't just rush in head first whenever you hear there's danger. There's other ways to get His attention - there has to be! But getting yourself killed isn't going to solve anything. And it's not going to bring Luce back, either."
Michael flinched a little, but he stayed silent, his gaze dropping to the ground. Adam closed his eyes for a moment, the rest of his energy seeming to drain from him; He was already tired, and fighting with Michael wasn't helping matters. He just wanted to sleep - everyone else be damned, I mean, who could blame him for needing a small rest? But he wasn't about to leave his body-buddy to worry about everyone else, either, not when he was so stressed as it was.
"Adam, go rest," Michael muttered, shaking his head a little. "Stop worrying about me so much. Yeah, I'm stressed, but-" He puffed his cheeks out, huffing out a low sigh. "But nothing's going to help that right now. And- and honestly, keeping myself busy is the best thing for me right now."
"As in getting yourself killed or working yourself so hard that you pass out?" Adam retorted, shaking his head a little bit and blinking his eyes open once more. He spared the archangel a glance, frowning. Michael was right - he'd been far too stressed lately, and even Adam couldn't seem to help that. The archangel spared him a desperate look, clearly not wanting to restart their earlier conversation - well, argument - and Adam sighed.
"Go rest," Michael mumbled. "I'll deal with everyone else."
Adam stared at him for a moment, narrowing his eyes.
"... and then I'll rest, too," the archangel gave in, raising his eyebrows at Adam slightly. "Satisfied?"
"Never," Adam replied quietly, but he stepped back, somewhat reluctantly. His gaze lingered on the archangel, quiet and thoughtful, but whatever he was going to say was dismissed almost immediately.
Turning around, he started to head through the darkness despite his initial hesitation - only for a hand to clasp down over his shoulder, abruptly pulling him back and turning him back around; And then Adam was being pulled into a hug, soft, and warm, everything he remembered a hug to be - but he hadn't been embraced in so long, too long, that he tensed up at the contact. Michael didn't pull away, though, undeterred by the demon's uncertainty. "... what's this for?"
"Nothing," Michael admitted, quiet. He finally pulled away, a slight smile appearing on his face at the sight of the demon's bewildered expression, all of his rage seemingly having evaporated just like that. "Everything," the archangel added, quietly, before huffing out a low sigh. "You're like a brother to me, Adam. Just… don't worry about…" He trailed off, glancing up. "I'm not leaving."
Adam was silent, just staring. After a moment, however, he simply nodded, and Michael pulled away, seeming satisfied. "Now go rest," he sighed. "I'll join you soon."
"Mhm." Adam studied him for a moment, then opened his mouth. Words failed him, at the last second, whatever he was about to say once more slipping right off of his tongue, and after a moment, the demon simply snapped his mouth shut, looked away, before finally managing to turn and leave, his chest aching with a mixture of confusion and concern.