Just FYI, I have two late nights ahead and I will not be able to post Chapter 6 until Saturday Morning, but turns out this chapter is a little longer than the others to help make up for it. If I can, I will try to post sooner, but it's looking like Saturday for now. See you all in two days! As always, I so enjoy the reviews! So please let me know what you think! Enjoy!
Chapter 5-First Date Tomfoolery
After that disastrous night with Spencer, Rick was livid to learn that Michonne planned on going back to meet with him that night about the silly bylaws. She was trying to explain, again, to Rick why she was meeting Spencer, and Rick was not having it. They were in the middle of an argument when there was a knock on the door.
"I got it," said Rick to Michonne who was already halfway and closer to the door.
"Whatever you want Rick," said a cross Michonne. Rick eyed her and smiled, "Whatever?" He asked her. Michonne tried not to smile at his sexy ass, but she could not help it. "Yeah, Whatever Rick." Her tone much more seductive than the annoyed one she held just a minute ago. Rick watched her as he walked, all the way to the door and when he opened it, Pete was standing there fuming. Rick was surprised to see the town doctor standing on his front porch and placed his hand on the butt of his colt.
"I asked her for a divorce," Said a sober Pete, "She is a liar Rick, and I can't take it anymore. She has turned me into a pariah, and I don't deserve it. I was a good husband to her, but she is just evil and abusive and I finally see it. I was too embarrassed to come forward about her hitting on me, but I can't live with it anymore. I just wanted you to know that I will stay far away from her and I am asking Reg to sign official divorce documents tomorrow morning. I am also asking for custody of my kids, so you will not have any trouble out of me."
"Ok," said Rick smiling. "Perfect!" Rick was giddy, that meant Jessie would finally leave him alone. Now all he had to deal with was Noah and Carol. That problem would take care of itself in a months' time. He was so happy he started dancing and Pete thought Rick was so disrespectful and rude for celebrating the end of his marriage and stormed off the front porch. When Ricked stopped dancing, he looked back out the door to tell Pete he was sorry about the divorce, but Pete was already gone. Rick ran into the living room to tell Michonne the good news and instead of seeing his one true love, he saw Carol sitting on the couch and Rick's mood changed from extremely happy to very annoyed.
"Rick, I have a plan on how we can take over the community!" Exclaimed Carol.
"Well hold on to it," said Rick pretending to be excited as he jumped up and down like a child would getting ready to open their present, "We gotta wait for Darryl!"
Carol nodded and was giddy and Rick's response then informed Rick that they could all meet the next morning. Rick put on his best fake smile and gave her a thumbs up. When she turned her back, he blew out a raspberry and shot the finger at her. Michonne was watching from the kitchen as was tickled pink at her almost boyfriend's reaction.
"Michonne, where are the kids?" Rick said eagerly hoping that the quiet meant that they were not there.
"They are with Sasha and Darryl; they are watching them for a few hours." Michonne eyed him knowing what was coming. Rick grabbed her hand and pulled her to their bedroom, but Michonne stopped him.
"Maggie is on the way, Sorry!" Michonne was genuinely apologetic because she wanted Rick probably more than he wanted her. She was constantly on edge also, the only thing that kept her from slicing off someone's head with her Katana was the entertainment Rick was providing. Him running all over the community looking for a solution to Noah, running from Jessie and Pete, ignoring Carol and other mundane antics had her in stitches.
"For what? Why?" Cried Rick. At this point, he thought Michonne was doing this on purpose. "Are you making up reasons to stay away from me?"
"Of course not!" Yelled Michonne.
"Then get rid of her when she comes and so I can make you cum Michonne," Rick said pulling her close amused at his double entendre. Michonne grew weak at the knees, but Maggie seemed worried about something and she really needed to talk to Michonne.
"Rick, let me see if I can hurry her along, but she said she really needed to talk. Why don't you wait for me in the bedroom and I will be there as soon as I can?" Said Michonne.
"Ok, but hurry Michonne!" Rick ran to the bedroom and took a shower and got in the bed naked as a jaybird and hoped that Michonne could get rid of Maggie fast. She did not. Maggie stayed for two hours and by the time she left, the kids were back. He got up, put some cloths on and left the room to confront Michonne.
"Rick! How could I put her out! She is worried about Glen going out on runs because she is…" Michonne stopped, Maggie didn't want anyone to know about her current state as of yet.
"She is what Michonne? Horney? How can that be, she gets to sex up her man every night, meanwhile I have blue balls constantly!" Michonne giggled and Rick pointed at her and lowered his chin and cut his eyes daring her to keep laughing.
"It ain't funny Michonne, I know you are doing this on purpose," said a frustrated Rick, "Teasing me and then not letting me have any, I don't have to put up with this you know. I have options!"
"Oh, you do? And what options are those Rick?" Michonne said with tilted heard and walking towards Rick. He regretted making his threat because that is all that it was, a threat, but he could not back down now.
"Do you see how all these women look at me Michonne? I'm a catch!" Rick declared with gusto.
"What women Rick? Are you talking about hair club?" Questioned Michonne?
"Among others," he whispered.
"Then go for it Rick. You don't think I have options?" Asked a very angry Michonne.
"You mean your pretty boy Spencer. He is dumb as a walker Michonne, but if that is what you like, then for it!" As soon as those words came out of his mouth, he wanted to drop to his knees and take them back and ask her for forgiveness. He saw how all the men looked at her and was terrified that his mouth just got him in serious trouble.
"Maybe we just need a break then Rick?" Said Michonne, also regretting her comment but being just as stubborn as Rick refused to take it back.
"How can we take a break when were not ever officially together!" Yelled Rick, asking himself how he keeps digging himself deeper and deeper as he put his head down, eyes closed towards the floor. He did not mean that. He knew they were together, and he was hers and she was his. He wanted to tell her that. He tried to fix his mouth to say the right things, but the wrong things just kept pouring out.
"Oh," said Michonne hurt, "I thought we were, I didn't know we needed sex to make it real Rick. Is that why you kept waiting to make it "official" as you say." Michonne walked out of the house and towards Spencer's for their nightly bylaws meeting. She did not give Rick a chance to respond. Rick was devastated and was deciding if he wanted to go after her, but his pride got in the way. And Carol. Mostly Carol got in the way. He really had no pride when it came to Michonne. So he bolted for the door when Carol stepped in front of him.
"Rick, you want an acorn cookie, its got beets in it!" Grinned Carol.
"I don't want your fucking dirt cookie Carol, now move," belted Rick.
"I don't want to wait for Darryl," Carol whined, "Can't we just fill him in tomorrow morning, I want to tell you the plan now before I forget all the details." Rick stared at Carol. She looked like she was a Stepford wife, with her weird smile and sweater set holding a plate of gross snacks. He had no clue what that nutjob was up to, but he did not have time to figure it out. He needed to get to Michonne.
When he finally got around Carol, Michonne was gone. He looked up and down the street before he ran out of the house heading towards Spencer's, cursing Carol the whole way. He rang the doorbell multiple times and knocked on the door until his knuckles were sore. Reginald finally answered, he was obviously sleep and informed Rick that Spencer nor Michonne was there. 'Shit,' he thought, 'They must have decided to meet somewhere else.' He had no clue where they could have gone and decided that he would wait up for her and make everything right when she got home.
Michonne met Spencer at the lake and saw the relief in his eyes when she came without Rick. She reluctantly joined Spencer and spent another two hours of sheer stupidity with a man she had absolutely no interest in. When he asked her out for an official date, she had an out of body experience and said "Yes." Rick made her angry with his threats of other women and she often made very bad decisions when angry. Once the meeting was over, she regretted agreeing to a date, but Spencer was overjoyed, and she did not have the heart to renege, so she smiled and walked back towards her home. Spencer skipped straight to Jessie.
"I have a date with Michonne tomorrow afternoon for lunch, you need to make a date with Rick," Spencer informed Jessie who was beaming. If spencer could beat his chest like King Kong he would have, then he thought why not and proceeded to beat his chest in front of his former love interest.
"Calm down there King Ding Dong, you haven't had the date yet," she said with brows furrowed. "You just make sure everything goes perfect tomorrow. I will go over there first thing in the morning! I have the perfect date planned for me and Rick!" Jessie was thrilled. She was finally gonna get her man.
While Spencer was talking to Jessie and thinking about that bylaw about calling people dumb needed to happen sooner rather than later, Michonne slinked into her home and did not notice Rick was asleep on the couch. She assumed he was in their bed with the kids and decided to sleep in Carl's room. Once she relaxed and got comfortable and about to drift off to sleep, she heard Noah. Fuck he was loud. Like a bear. Like a bear being strangled to death in its sleep while simultaneously getting punched in the throat. It was off-putting and unnerving. It sounded like Noah needed some medical attention. She went into his room and tried to shake him awake. He did not even blink. She went back into Carl's room and tried to block it out. An hour later, she was standing over Noah with a pillow in one hand and her other balled into a fist. She had also unconsciously put her katana on her back. She had three different ways to do some real damage to Noah if she wanted. She did not know whether to punch him or to smother him to death or to slice and dice him with her katana.
She finally left his room and was currently standing in the hallway. She needed to sleep. Rick made her tired. Spencer made her tired. Noah made her really tired. Carol mostly made her tired always wasting food because she used whack-ass ingredients like tree bark and pond scum. Michonne did not really know exactly what ingredients she used, but that is what it tasted like. Damn Carol. She headed downstairs towards the couch in the living room and saw Rick. She watched him for a second, then decided to crawl and lay beside him and he stirred and pulled her close but did not really wake. She cuddled up and before she finally closed her eyes and had the best sleep of her life, she wondered how to tell Rick she accidently, but on purpose accepted a date with Spencer.
"YOU WHAT?" Fired Rick
"Rick, just listen," begged Michonne.
"NO! I guess we are officially on a break then," he started walking to the front door to leave and get some fresh air. When he opened the door, Jessie was standing on the porch pleased at the fight she just overheard.
"Hi Rick, I stopped by to see if you were interested on going out with me this afternoon, like a date?" She said cheerfully deciding to take advantage of their fight and get straight to the point since she heard what she heard.
"You know what Jessie, YES, Yes I will go out with you," Rick said loud enough for Michonne to hear. Michonne walked into the kitchen to make breakfast for her kids. She was pissed off. Rick did not even let her finish talking. If he had, she would have told him that she was going to meet Spencer and let him down easy and come right back to the house. Crisis averted. But Rick would not let her get a word in edgewise. Then Jessie happened. She and Rick did not say another word to each other for the rest of the morning. Rick stared daggers at Michonne and Michonne did not even bother to make eye contact with Rick. If she did, she knew that she would go the fuck off.
"Good morning," muttered Carl sitting down to his plate of eggs and grits.
"Where is Judith?" asked Michonne.
"Still sleep, want me to get her?" Carl asked.
"No you eat, I'll get her," said Michonne moving towards her bedroom. Rick ran to beat her to the room to wake his daughter.
"I can do it," mocked Rick. Michonne rolled her eyes at his silliness and went to make her daughter's plate.
"Ok, what is going on now," asked an astute Carl.
"Your dad is being an asshole," she mumbled to Carl as Rick rounded the corner. "He has a date with Jessie today." Michonne did not mean to call him an asshole in front of their son, it just slipped out. She will apologize later.
Carl looked at his father with such disdain and anger that Rick thought Carl was going to jump from the table and attack him.
"MICHONNE MADE A DATE FIRST!" Rick belted throwing Michonne under the bus.
Carl sat back down in his chair, with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "Children," he whispered to himself.
"What was that?" Said Rick and Michonne at the same time.
"Nothing," breathed carl as he shook his head and ate his breakfast.
Spencer and Jessie came to the door at the same time to fetch Michonne and Rick, respectively. Michonne held her nose up at Rick as she marched past him onto the porch and Rick did the same to Michonne as he headed towards Jessie. The whole ordeal was to make each other jealous; it was just a bunch of tomfoolery that was getting out of hand.
"I packed a picnic for us Michonne, out by the lake, I already set it up for us," beamed Spencer.
"And we are going to an art gallery opening Rick!" Jessie proclaimed. All eyes turned towards Jessie wondering what in the hell she was talking about. Michonne chuckled and Rick gave her side-eye, but he wanted to laugh at Jessie too.
Jessie linked arms with Rick and walked him next door to her open garage where he saw about two dozen owl sculptures posed in different positions throughout her garage. 'Jesus, this lady is bonkers,' thought Rick in shock at what he was seeing. Michonne all out laughed as she saw the owls and when Spencer grabbed her hand she immediately stopped when his touch made her feel queasy. When she touched Rick, it was electrifying, every single time. It was always a tingle in nether regions, a spark up her spine. With Spencer, she felt like she was holding a dead fish, his hands were clammy, and that is when she turned around and looked back at Rick.
Rick was flabbergasted when he looked from Jessie to the owls, and her touch felt cold and dead like it did the first time when she came with the welcome box. He wanted out of that bizarre garage and out that living walker's grip immediately, and that is when he turned around and looked back at Michonne.
'How the fuck did I get here,' Rick thought as he looked down at Jessie Anderson with her arm wrapped around his, then up at her twenty owl sculptures littering her garage.' How is this even happening? How is this a thing?' He thought bewilderedly as he looked back and saw Michonne walking hand-in-hand with Spencer Monroe.
"How the fuck did I get here,' thought Michonne as she looked at the linked hands of her and Spencer Monroe. 'How is this even happening? How is this a thing,' she thought perplexed as she looked back and met Rick's baby blue gaze, then at Jessie and then curiously at the owls again.
'How the fuck did we get here,' thought Carl as he looked to his left at his idiot father and then looked to his right as his ridiculous mother and shaking his head. 'How is this even happening? How is this a thing? And what the fuck is up with those owls?'
'Gah Gah Goo Gah Gah'-baby translation-'How the fuck did we get here,' thought Judith as she was being bounced on her brothers' hip. 'How is this even happening? How is this a thing,' she thought puzzled as she looked at all three members of her family, then at the owls. She wanted one, thought the yellow owl would make a great toy.
'Why am I not with Rick?' Thought Michonne.
'Why am I not with Michonne?' Thought Rick.
"I'm done taking breaks Rick," Michonne yelled after she unlocked hands with Spencer and ran to meet Rick halfway up the street. Rick had also unlatched from Jessie, which was harder as Jessie would not let go. He had to drag her for little bit while he was trying to get to Michonne. When he finally shook her loose, he jogged to his love and grabbed her in a tight hug, and both experienced the most passionate kiss ever. They stood in the middle of the street kissing for what seemed like to many an uncomfortably long time. Those watching were starting to feel awkward, but they still watched. When they finally pulled apart, he walked her up the stairs of their front porch where Carl was standing with Judith.
"Carl, get lost," Rick Breathed.
"RICK!" hollered Michonne.
"Where do we go?" asked Carl with wide eyes.
"I really don't care Carl!" Carl stared at his dad with anxiety and Rick came to his senses.
"I do care, come on in the house son and watch your sister. You might hear some stuff and thangs coming from our room but…," Rick told his son apologetically like Michonne was really going to agree to his plan.
"RICK!" Michonne interrupted, taking Judith from Carl and cutting her eyes at her almost boyfriend again, and walking inside the house towards the kitchen.
"Michonne, where are you going, the bedroom is that way?" Pleaded Rick.
"To the kitchen to fix lunch Rick, the kids are hungry, and they can't eat that tree bark and cricket casserole that Carol made!" Exclaimed Michonne.
Carl walked by and smirked at this dad and Rick narrowed his eyes at his son, a small part of him regretting not kicking Carl out of the house.