Don't let me out of your sight, Arthur had said, a strange ferocity in his countenance. In these lives, he never lived beyond thirty. While he still had a few years until then, the thought was frightening. However, as Emrys had told these stories, Arthur felt an unshakeable trust that was reflected in this statement but Emrys remained quiet.
"What do you mean by that?" Emrys asked, clearing his throat.
"Don't let me die." Arthur was sure enough in what he said, even though it didn't quite make sense. How could he be saved from death?
"I can't fight fate, Arthur!" Emrys yelled defensively, voice strained, waking the dog from his deep sleep. "I can't promise that!"
"Then promise me this, Emrys. Promise me that I won't die alone."
Emrys gaped at Arthur, closing his mouth as the gears visibly turned behind his eyes, not meeting Arthur's gaze, "If you want me to remain by your side, I will never leave it."
"Good," Arthur whispered softly, suddenly embarrassed. He had been so wrapped up in this emotion, this feeling he couldn't place, that his mind had simply been elsewhere. "I guess I should get on to bed, I would like another morning stroll before we leave. Pick any room you like, I'll see you in the morning."
Arthur left to his room, Emrys left alone on the couch. Wade, half-awake, slovenly eased himself onto the couch beside Emrys and sighed meaningfully as he gazed up at him. Well, that was eventful, his big brown eyes seemed to tease. Emrys smiled, tousling the dog's fur, "You said it."
...
Alone, Arthur found himself drawn back to the living room. His body seemed to ache to be apart from Emrys. Perhaps, Arthur mused, the story was a way to lure me in. This is all quite ridiculous, isn't it? And yet, I believe him. With all my soul I know he tells no falsehoods. Flowers. The flowers were the kicker.
Arthur would, indeed, pick a personal gift like that, especially for one so humble as Emrys.
I can imagine it now, Arthur thought, crawling into the bedsheets. I would pick a lot of yellow, if they were there, and white, maybe one or two, but red would be it's centerpiece. A stark, wonderful red that he couldn't help but think of me, a red of fervour and passion of- oh, dear lord the lads were right I'm in much deeper than I thought.
Arthur got out his phone and texted Morri, expecting him to still be up. When he was sure Morri was awake, he asked, simply, if he believed in past lives. While Arthur would never say so outright, he appreciated Morri's imput most out of his two best friends, because while the man was practical, he was open-minded and fair.
Morri (recieved 10:12pm) : Of course I want believe, but what good would it do me? Those who live in the past cannot see their future. Go to bed, Arthur. Whatever you and Emrys talked about clearly has you rattled. Sleep on it. Talk tomorrow, I need some sleep.
With a sigh, he admitted the advice was pretty good and there was no point to dwell on it for the night.
...
Arthur woke at half past 9, dazed at the unfamiliar surroundings. Admittedly, he hadn't slept in this room since he was a teenager, but he found it much less inviting than it used to be. The walls which used to have the token landscape paintings on them, had been taken down, leaving darkened wallpaper around where they used to hang. The bookshelf that used to house his books for summer reading were gone too, save for a ragged copy of Tom Sawyer.
Remembering Emrys and Wade, he crawled out of bed and lumbered out of the room sleepily. Arthur was halfway to the kitchen, calling out to Emrys who was no longer on the couch. He peeked in each open door, calling to him, nowhere to be found.
Wade, in all the commotion, had been pawing at the door to be let out. Arthur sighed in disappointment as he remembered the boy could simply be taking a stroll as they had done yesterday. He rolled his shoulders, trying to get a phantom pain out of them before hitching the dog to a lead and taking him outside. He was surprised to find Emrys's clothes lying on the bank with a towel, apparently diving nude out in the lake.
Emrys popped up for air, Arthur calling out to him with a laugh, "Emrys! What are you doing out there? Looking for lost marbles? It must be freezing!"
Emrys's hair plastered to his forehead, dripping water down his cheeks, he gasped in surprise but smiled regardless.
"Ah! You're awake!" Emrys yelled, "I just, uh, wanted to go for a swim!"
"Naked, underwater, in full view of any passing neighbors?" Arthur laughed, sitting with Wade at the shore.
"To be fair, there haven't been any neighbors since I've been out here!" Emrys called, swiping his hair back. "I'll be done soon, go walk Wade he waited all night!"
Arthur conceded and left Emrys to his swimming.
...
Upon return, Arthur found Emrys staring listlessly at the sky, a towel covering his indecency. Though very lithe, it was clear that Emrys had muscles toned under his skin, unlike Arthur who had fallen into the habit of sedentary life.
It wasn't so much his body though, that drew Arthur's attention, but the lack of motivation in his expression as a sour expression sat in his body language. He seemed extremely disgusted, for some reason.
"What you were looking for... I assume it's not there?"
"Not anymore..." Emrys sighed, slapping his hands to his face in irritation "and, it makes me wonder what that even means."
"What were you looking for?"
"I think a better question would be to ask you, what do you think I'm looking for? Do you have any idea where we are?"
Emrys watched him with such an annoyed expression, he felt embarassed and cleared his throat.
"Lake Shallot, is that supposed to be a trick question?" Arthur asked.
"That tower, on that island in the lake, haven't you ever wondered what that was? Jeez, it's like you aren't even him at all! Your face, your voice, your mannerisms, even the way you're looking at me right now as though I've grown another head- yes, that look! They're always the same but without the memories... It's just, different. I guess your destiny is over... and mine with it. No sword, no kingdom, just whatever this is."
Emrys seemed to pout, getting up to put on his clothes. He regretted ever seeing Arthur, to feel all of this again.
Arthur felt the weight of what Emrys said hit like a ton of bricks, firing up his anger, "Well of course I'm not him. Whichever him you mean, we all had different lives, experiences, upbringings, why would you expect anything else?!"
"My Arthur, the one who died on that island, was the once-and-future-king but I suppose he dies again with you. No sword, no prophecy! No prophecy, no Merlin!"
"Merlin?"
"You don't even remember that, you damn dollophead?!" Emrys yelled, "Me, you stupid prat, me! Spending this wretched eternal youth to fulfill this destiny, chasing the ghost of a great man- who I loved- only to see him die over and over and OVER again! Have you no idea how much I have suffered over you?! I could never end this misery myself, oh no, death can never befall a wizard of destiny!-"
"Oh my god..." Arthur muttered to himself, eyes blown wide.
"My magic died with the times but this stupid body refused to! I am doomed to watch you die and never save you! Perhaps, the cycle is finally broken, perHAPS I can finally die in peace!" Emrys screamed, wiping the tears streaming down his face.
Arthur wanted to comfort Emrys, this Merlin boy, but found himself at a loss, "There was a sword at the park, I remember where it-"
"That tourist trap?" Emrys scoffed, "You would be better off pulling a leech from a corpse. I just... I want to sleep."
"When you mentioned magic, were you serious?"
"Why?" Emrys scoffed, "Care to see a scarf trick?"
"If it bothers you so much that I don't have these memories, why don't you give them to me? They were mine, surely I can get them back."
"It's possible," Emrys stopped his pacing and crossed his arms, suddenly rigid. "But Artie knew everything, and when he- when he came back as Art, look how he ended up. I just, think it would be best if I left. This will all seem like a bad dream."
"I want to remember." Arthur insisted. "If it might fill the holes, why not try a few corks?"
"If you think the car accident hurt your head, this will be worse. I can't guarantee your safety, either. This could seriously injure you, it could even kill you from the strain." Emrys insisted, "My magic is unstable now, and very dim, I can't heal you if it were to go wrong."
"Let me think about it." Arthur whispered, "We have to get back."
...
Emrys agreed, they went in, packed up their things, and left in the car before Arthur spoke again, "Why Emrys? It's an unusual name."
"But it turns less heads than Merlin, and it is considered my true name, my magical name. Besides..." Emrys whispered under his breath, "It hurt to hear other people call me Merlin, when the one person whose voice I wanted to hear, couldn't say my name anymore."
"Can I call you Merlin?" Arthur asked, "Feels more personal, after all this... you know."
Merlin's hands shook on his lap as he tried to supress the tremors of tears that threatened to overtake him, the shaky, pained gasp from his mouth enough to knot Arthur's stomach, "Yeah. You can."
A.N.
Ok! So~! We're using "Merlin" from here on out, though "Emrys" may be dropped from time to time.
Did you see it coming? I tried to be as obvious as I could without a neon sign, but I have almost Gravity Falls-level of subliminal messages sometimes as far as hints in my writing.
Also, did you catch my Witcher reference? Hehe
Thoughts? Questions?
I can answer as long as they aren't spoilers!
(I was actually going to wait on the reveal but the flow felt kinda natural so I went with it.)