Alright guys, we are nearing the end, one more chapter after this one! Thank you to all that read and reviewed my silly little story. Can you imagine how fun it would have been if any of this actually happened on the show? Enjoy
Chapter Nine-The Second Trial of the Century and the Mental Break
The Anderson Divorce Trial had just begun and Michonne could not keep her eyes open. She was exhausted and very sore. Rick made another advance on her before they left for court when they decided to shower together, well when Rick decided to shower with her. She asked him to please just wait his turn, but he pouted like a child and then promised to not try anythang. He lied; He had her hemmed up in that tub. He was all over her before he even got into the shower good. She could barely dry herself off without falling down afterwards. As they were getting dressed, he had an inconceivable amount of pep in his step while she looked like one of the walkers outside the gates. At one point, Rick looked like he was almost dancing as he pulled on his jeans. She did not understand how he could be so full of energy. 'That horny bastard must have sapped all my energy for himself,' she thought. As they were walking out of the bedroom, she could have sworn Rick did the signature Michael Jackson kick as he sang "Hee Hee!" simultaneously. When she stopped in the kitchen for coffee, he grabbed her hand and informed her they did not have time to make the brew she so desperately craved and they needed to go.
"I need coffee Rick, don't you?" Michonne asked still amazed at the exuberance of her husband.
"Nah, I got you to give me all the zip I need," Rick sang as he almost skipped to the front door. Michonne figured that the tiredness that she was currently experiencing would eventually catch up to him. Rick was just still too full of after sex adrenaline, but he would crash and burn in the middle of the trial, if even took that long. So he dragged her out of the house and headed towards the courtroom, which again was also the church and community center. It was packed. Standing room only. It seemed like the whole community was up and waiting for the trial to start. When Rick spotted Fredrick and Lamont, he did a double take and walked up to the Alexandrian duo.
"Aren't you two on guard duty this morning? What the fuck are you doing here? Who is in the watchtower?" Screamed Rick.
"We, we," Fredrick stuttered, "We didn't want to miss the trial!"
"DO YOU WANT TO GET EATEN?" Hollered Rick
"NO," the duo said at the same time, heads bowed.
"Then get your asses to the watchtower and if you see anythang, you call me immediately! Don't throw guns at em, JUST CALL ME ON THE WALKIE!" hollered Rick. Now Rick knew good and well that he should not have let two Alexandrians watch the gate, especially after what happened yesterday, but after the gift that his crew gave him last night, he would not make them miss all the entertainment of the trial. He got a schedule together where every twenty minutes, one of the crew would leave the courtroom and do a quick perimeter check, especially the watchtower and front gate areas so they would not all have to miss too much of the court proceedings.
Once the trial began, and everyone was seated waiting for opening remarks, Michonne turned to look at her new husband from her place at the Judge's bench. Rick seemed wide awake and even more invigorated since they left the house. 'Did they not spend the same night and morning together?' She thought as she watched him wink at her. She got a tingly feeling underneath her robes despite how drained her body was. Well, if she was wearing a robe. She decided to try and find one her next run. A graduation gown would do just fine in a pinch. 'It would make me look courtlier,' she contemplated. When she snapped out of her thought about the robe, she looked again at Rick standing there all fine as hell and licked her lips. How could her shattered body still want more? It was preposterous and fantastic at the same time. She perked up a bit and stared at the packed courthouse. Everyone was there. Some of them were dressed in their Sunday Best! Michonne thought a mediation would have done just fine, but these people needed a show.
"I will show the court today that not only is Jessie Anderson an unfit wife, but she is also an unfit mother," exclaimed Maggie," and that Pete, an upstanding citizen and a renowned doctor should get custody of the kids. I hope you will remember all I have said when delivering your verdict your honor."
Michonne missed the entire first part of Maggie's speech, she pinched herself in an effort to try and be more alert. Between her tiredness and her thinking inappropriate thoughts about Rick, she kept zoning out. It was Spencer's turn. This should be good!
"I am going to discredit everything the defense has said about my client," preached Spencer, Dumbtorny at Law. "I am going to prove that not only did she beat her husband, sometimes brutally!, but that she was always looking out for the kids when she was not sneaking off to have sex with me." Spencer winked at Michonne, the courtroom audience erupted in whispers, and laughter. Some of the women were clutching their imaginary pearls. Jessie held her head down in shame vowing to beat the shit out of Spencer when they got out of the courtroom. Maggie shrugged her shoulders towards Michonne, towards Rick, and towards the courtroom audience like the case was closed. Michonne was tempted to make her judgment right then and there and she would have absolutely had the law on her side with the stunning confession, but the people wanted a show and hell she did too. "I will prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt," proclaimed Spencer, "that Jessie deserves everything she gets!"
"That whore sure does," yelled someone inside the courtroom. Spencer did not get the sarcasm, or even the literal meaning, and replied with a hearty "Thank You." Michonne looked over at Rick and then locked eyes, but she had to immediately break eye contact, or she would have busted out laughing at her husband's "What. The. Fuck." facial expressions.
When Spencer sat back down, he was grinning until Jessie punched him hard in the arm. Then someone in the courtroom yelled, "did you set her hit him! She is an abuser!" The whole courtroom erupted in chaos. This was the scandal of the apocalypse century. Michonne banged her gavel, "Order in the court! Order in the Court!" 'It was all just all so fantastic and a nice break from killing walkers and starving,' Michonne thought. She missed the courtroom being a former lawyer herself. Once she regained control and the courtroom was quiet again, Michonne continued.
"Call your first witness," ordered Michonne to Maggie. Maggie looked at Michonne not understanding why this was continuing after the Spencer's admission.
"May I approach the bench your honor," asked a confused Maggie.
"Approach," said Michonne.
"Ummm, why are we continuing his craziness? He just admitted to everything we are trying to prove?" Asked a baffled Maggie.
Michonne thought for a few seconds before answering her question. "Is this not fun? Are you not entertained? Come on Maggie, we already know they are going to lose, but what else is there to do today? Let's have a good time watching those two fools make idiots of themselves. Give the people what they want! A scandalous, Ludicrous show! Then me you and the girls can have a happy hour at my house after this and make fun of them all!"
Maggie heard Michonne erupt in a low villainous laugh, then she joined in with her own evil cackle. The bailiff had to clear his throat to refocus them both from their off-putting reactions and back to the proceedings. Maggie walked back to her desk deciding to give the people what they wanted and called her first witness.
"I would like to call Charlotte to the stand," notified Maggie and there were ohhhs and ahhhs as Charlotte dramatically fanned herself profusely as she sauntered up to the witness stand. The dramatics were turnnt up! Charlotte sat down and placed her hand on the bible and swore to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her God.
"Have you ever seen Pete hit his wife, Jessie Anderson," Asked Maggie as she pointed to the liar.
"NO! Never!" exclaimed Charlotte, causing a slight commotion in the courtroom and Michonne had to use her gavel to calm them yet again. She loved that thing. She needed one for Rick.
"Have you ever seen Jessie hit Pete?" Maggie Inquired.
Charlotte paused before answering and wiped an invisible tear from her eye before she spoke. "That poor man," she said shaking her head and re-fanning herself.
"Oh yes, I saw Jessie hitting Pete on a few occasions. One day, when I went in for a checkup, I saw Pete with a black eye, and when I asked him what happened, he said he fell!" The courtroom huffed at Jessie; others rolled their eyes at Pete. But her answer caused a ruckus none the less.
"How the hell do you fall on your eye?" Someone shouted.
"He's a damn sasquatch, how did he allow her to beat his ass like a little bitch?" Yelled another.
"I'd let you bang me with that gavel!" Yelled a man to the Judge.
Rick at this point had enough of the comments. He rose from his seat at the front of the courtroom and pulled out his Colt Python.
"Now this here for anyone that don't know is my Colt Python. And that there," Rick continued while pointing at Michonne, "for anybody that don't know is my wife. If I hear one more inappropriate comment about my wife this Colt will be so far up your ass people are gonna think the bullets are your teeth." Rick seethed.
A male raised his hand. "Yes," said Rick knowing some nonsense was about to go down and ran his hand down his face preparing for the idiocy. These people had no common sense. Michonne and Maggie were trying to hold back their laughter. Spencer was watching Michonne with heart eyes and Jessie was watching Rick with her legs crossed tightly turned on by his manliness. The courtroom was quiet, ready for the next big display of dramatics.
"You said if YOU hear, can we still make the comments when you are not around?" asked the very stupid man.
Rick lost it, "I guess I got to show you better than I could tell you," he declared as he moved rapidly towards the man and grabbed him by the back of his pants. Rick was trying to shove his gun down the man's pants when Michonne took charge of the hilarity she was witnessing.
ORDER IN THE DAMN COURT! OR I WILL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT! Michonne hollered and stood with narrowed eyes at Rick telling him to stop his jealous but sidesplittingly funny antics. She banged the gavel hard on the wooden desk one final time and looked at Rick in warning. Michonne glanced at Maggie and both of their stomachs were trembling with laugher trying escape out through their mouths. They both surveyed the rest of the court looking for their crew who all were having the same reaction. Abraham and Darryl were outright laughing hard with the former hanging off the pew. Rick stopped his silliness and pushed the man a tiny bit into his seat. Michonne gave him one final "Stop it NOW" look but secretly she would have loved for him to continue his outrageous shenanigans. Michonne then looked at the witness and asked her to continue. Michonne was giddy at the spectacle, and by the looks of the courtroom, everyone else was also. She placed her hand over her mouth so that the courtroom would not see her struggle to contain her hysterics.
Maggie pulled herself together and asked the question, "How did you know Pete got the black eye from Jessie?"
"I know Jessie did it because when I was on my way to the pantry, I saw Jessie hit him in the face with her fist right before my check-up!" Charlotte said to a courtroom of dramatic gasps.
"Thank you, Charlotte, one more thing." Maggie inquired, "Have you ever seen Jessie being inappropriate with a man other than her husband? Sexually inappropriate or being sexually physical with another man?"
"Oh yes, with Spencer. I caught them on the side of the house going at it one time!" Exclaimed Charlotte. The courtroom erupted. Michonne had to remember she was the judge because for a moment she forgot and was part of the chaos. She banged her gavel and ordered everyone to quiet down.
"When you said, "going at it," asked Maggie using quote fingers, "can you clarify what you meant?"
Now it was getting juicy Michonne thought, Maggie was doing her best to make sure it was!
"Spencer had his hand up her dress and they were kissing, full blown making out in public!" Declared Charlotte as she blew out a breath and shifted in her seat disgusted and fanning herself again.
"OBJECTION!" Yelled Spencer.
"On what grounds?" Asked Michonne.
"On the grounds that she is lying! I was never with Jessie on the side of the house, we only made out in the shed behind her house!" Yelled an incredulous Spencer, "I only necked on the of the side of the house once with Cynthia!" The whole courtroom exploded in loud shouts. It took several wonderful minutes for Michonne to regain control. It was especially amusing to watch Cynthia slink down in the pew and even better watching Jessie stare daggers at both Spencer and his side of the house lover.
"Thank you, no further questions your honor," said a satisfied Maggie over all the loud chatter.
The rest of the witness testimony went much the same way. Person after person testified that Jessie abused Pete and she was having an affair with Spencer Monroe. Reginald was horrified that his son would stoop so low with not only a married woman, but evidently a violent married woman. He decided to leave the courtroom and go back and tend to his wife. He walked out in disgust and was even more confident in the decision that made Rick the new leader. He had no regrets. After all the damning testimony, court was in recess until the next day. Michonne wanted to go home and sleep. Just sleep. She told that much to Rick and he just licked his lips at her.
"Rick please, I need some rest and so does my vagina. You dicked me down good and now I am exhausted and sore. I can't take anymore right now," Michonne begged her husband.
Rick was about to let her know that she would be begging again like she was right now and getting absolutely no rest in the foreseeable future when he heard a scream.
"What the fuck now," he said out loud to Michonne and ran outside the newly minted courthouse/church/community meeting place.
When Rick and Michonne made it outside, they were stopped in their tracks. Jessie had lost it. She knew after all the damning testimony that she had lost. She did not need Spencer to make things worse and she was now in a state of delirium. She was screaming in the middle of the street.
"YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE! I HAVE NOTHING NOW! NOTHING! NO HUSBAND, NO BOYFRIEND BECAUSE WHO WOULD WANT THAT DUMMY," she screamed pointing at Spencer, "NO KIDS! FUCK ALL YOU PEOPLE. I HOPE YOU ALL BECOME WALKER FOOD!"
She carried on screaming at the Alexandrians and the community in general for a few more minutes, making threats, calling people names, all during fits of crying and cursing. To try and stop her damning tirade, Spencer jogged up to her and hit her on the back of the head trying to knock her out with just his softly balled fist. But she kept going after the first hit. So he hit her again, harder. She fell to the ground but kept cursing, mostly now at Spencer. So he got on his knees and Spencer hit her with a third blow to the head, still trying to knock her out to quiet her. At this point the community members were horrified at what Spencer was doing and a few men rushed in and pushed him of her.
"I was just trying to help her!" Spencer Screamed.
"You stupid bitch!," yelled Jessie to Spencer while holding the back of her throbbing head.
Michonne and Rick, after they stopped laughing and since both were still the constables, took Jessie and Spencer into custody and they discussed where to put the two idiots. Jessie for disturbing the peace and Spencer for the most absurd, preposterous assault ever. The jail was just starting to be built and was not ready. They needed a place where they could not just come and go while also giving them enough time to calm down.
"I know this might be harsh. But what if we put them outside the gates in separate houses? They would be too scared to leave and we can bring them food when they need it," suggested Rick.
"I am good with that!" Said Michonne. "Let's do this quick, I need some rest." Michonne said tiredly.
At that moment, Aaron and Darryl returned from recruiting with Morgan Jones, and old friend of Rick's. All three of them were wondering what the hell was going on in Alexandria. After hugs and catching up in the middle of the street, and some chit chat, Maggie stopped the fools and directed their attention back to the matter at hand. She filled the three of them in what all they missed and all three thought she was lying to them. She had to be making the shit up.
"You lying," smiled Morgan.
"Nope, I am not," responded Maggie.
"These people are straight crazy!" exclaimed Darryl.
"Now you see why I didn't stop recruiting," said Aaron. "I was looking for some sane people to join the community."
Darryl, Rick, Glen, Rosita, and Tara escorted both Spencer and Jessie to separate houses about two miles outside the gates of Alexandria. They were both terrified and begged them to not leave them to die. Rick thought one of two things would happen. They would listen, stay in the house on house arrest and live until they could come back and rejoin the community. Or not listen and become walker food. Neither could take care of themselves outside the gates, so there was no third option where they would survive. They were not even smart enough to ask for a weapon to protect themselves. Jessie and Spencer were in separate houses about three blocks apart. Rick did not think they needed to be any closer. If they were, they would try and make a run to be together and end up eaten.
"You won't die if you stay quiet and stay inside the house. Don't go running about outside," Darryl pointed out as he left Jessie. He gave the same speech to Spencer before they all left back home to Alexandria.
Back in the Grimes household, this was Noah's last night in their home. Everybody was excited. Noah was ecstatic because he was going to get a bachelor pad with a few other young men his age. Partaay! Morgan was going to take the empty house until one of the suites were completed, but it was not quite ready, so Morgan was just going to bunk with Rick. Rick vetoed that idea and told Morgan to just stay in the bachelor pad with Noah until the house or suite was ready, whichever came first. For this first night though, Morgan bunked with Pete and his kids.
Rick and Carl were elated because they would be able to sleep in their own rooms again. Michonne was thrilled to not have to share a room but terrified that she would never get good rest again. The kids were back in the house as the gift giving time was over, and Noah was still there for one more night so Michonne knew that the kids would share their room one last time. She was relieved that she would be able to get some much-needed rest, even with two extra people in the bed. And she did. She slept soundly for the about four hours. She skipped dinner and went to bed earlier than the rest. Once the kids and Rick joined, that is when her much needed slumber was interrupted. Rick got restless and kept waking up every fifteen minutes just to stare at and feel up Michonne. He kept poking her trying to wake her up. He had gotten his fill the night before and that morning and he wanted more. He could not wait until tomorrow night. He tried to wake her so they could sneak off somewhere, anywhere, but she would not budge. 'How in the hell can she sleep so damn hard,' Rick wondered annoyingly. Michonne was not sleeping hard at all, she was faking, pissed off that he would wake her right when she was getting some good sleep. But she refused to let him know she was actually awake knowing he would drag her off to God knows where to have more sex. So she just lay there praying he would just eventually give up and leave her the hell alone.
The next morning was day two of the Anderson Trial, but of course it went quickly because of the antics of Jessie and Spencer the day before. Since they were no longer able to present their side of the case, Pete officially got custody of the kids and kept the house. Michonne signed off on the divorce decree and Pete was legitimately free of his horrible wife. Jessie was right in her street ranting; she truly was left with nothing. Pete decided to move all of his ex-wife's things out of the house. He did not care where her shit ended up, just as long as it was gone. He started with the owls. He was going smash every single one of them to pieces, he hated those stupid things, but decided against it. Those were Jessie's property and so he just tossed them in a pile along with the rest of her stuff, then tossed everything in the basement of the food and clothing pantry. She could pick it up if she survived, he reasoned, if not, then they hey, more tacky, bargain basement clothes for the women to choose from and some horrible art if anyone wanted to partake. As Rick watched Pete go back and forth from his house to the pantry, he had another one of his brilliant but selfish and mischievous ideas.
"Hey Pete, I'm glad everything worked out for you buddy and I am sorry for thinking you were beating on Jessie at first, she was very convincing." Said an apologetic Rick. He meant it but as usual, he had ulterior motives.
"Thanks Rick, I appreciate the apology," Pete returned.
"Hey, now that it's just you and the kids, and with you being so busy as the town doctor, if you ever need any help with your kids, let me know and Carol can help you out," said Rick planting the seed.
Pete thought for a second and nodded. "I do need the help and she does make delicious casseroles," smiled Pete reflecting on the last one he ate, it was good despite the few rocks that he bit down on. Rick blanched at the idea that anything that Carol cooked was good. Those two were made for each other.
"Hey, she is a good housekeeper also, she would make a great wife for you. Why don't you talk to her about that? Maybe she can move in with you for a trial run?" Ricked hoped.
"Well, I don't know Rick, I just got divorced today," worried Pete.
"Come on Pete, life is short, and we are in the apocalypse, things like that don't matter anymore!" Rick stated. Rick was terrible and had no shame.
"Ok, Pete smiled, "I will talk to her about it in the morning!" Said an excited Pete ready for a wife that truly loved him and was not a scheming and conniving hoe. He did not need to know that Carol was scheming and conniving also, but she was not a hoe, so that was a step up!
"Why wait Pete, march on over to my house and get your woman," Rick told him patting him on his back and ushering him forward. Pete did not understand how Rick got him so hype, but he just went with it and did exactly as Rick said, he marched over there and got his woman.
"Rick, what was that?" smiled Michonne, she knew Rick had his grimy hands in what just occurred, it stunk of Rick Grimes.
"What was What?" Feigned Rick.
"THAT," she pointed out of the window at Carol draped happily over her new man's shoulder. "What did you do?"
"I got rid of Carol and Noah, that's what I did, now you can thank me cuz we will have the house to ourselves, and the kids will be back in their rooms and we get our room back to do what husbands and wives do," Rick said all in one breath then smiled seductively at his wife.
"Speaking of that, exactly when did I become your wife?" Asked a curious Michonne.
"You have always been my wife, as co-leader, I just made it official," disclosed Rick.
"We didn't have a ceremony and there is no certificate Rick," Smirked Michonne.
"Then we will plan and make both happen sooner rather than later," said Rick as he slapped her ass.