(Hello, hello, hello again! Ready for some more fun and insanity? This is an extremely long chapter! It's actually the longest chapter I've ever written in 'Welcome to the Mad House'. You've been warned.)
(Reader Request Granted to: Cyberbutterfly. Requested for 'the gang to have another movie night and that the either Wreck It Ralph or Megamind be the feature film'. Well, Cyberbutterfly, 'here's looking at you, kid.')
[Song Suggestions for this Chapter]
~ 'Under Pressure' by David Bowie & Queen (I suggest listening to it when Amber's in the hospital.)
~ The Sweet Escape (feat. Akon) by Gwen Stefani (play this about when Katherine cries, "Freedom!")
~ Lucky Strike by Maroon 5 (play during the car scene with Amber and a certain creep.)
~ 'I Gotta Feeling' by Black Eyed Peas (listen when they start to play Twister.)
~ 'Best Song Ever' by One Direction (it's mostly just a mention.)
Chapter Twenty-Six
Slumber Party At My House!
May 2nd, 2013
Thursday
It was the last week of April when Amber started to sense that she was going to be due for a time of sickness. Most of us know the feeling. It creeps up on you, teases you, sends out invitations that we ignore and hope it will simply pass until the day arrives and we end up miserably ill. When those first warning signs began to make their appearance, Amber stubbornly pressed on, never letting up on her workload and running herself ragged trying to keep the patients as well behaved as possible. It took its toll until finally, on April the twenty-ninth, Amber woke up and couldn't bring herself to get out of bed.
She called the front desk at Arkham and informed them she'd be out for the day and probably the next as well. When Amber hung up, the staff member on the phone with her promptly slumped onto her desk and wept. When asked what the matter was, the young woman explained the situation and said, "That means she won't be here to look after them." This realization led several other employees to panic and no one wanted to be the one to deliver the news to Dr. Arkham. Not because he'd be angry at the messenger, but because he'd more than likely have that same person sent to deliver the news to Nurse Johnson's charges and no one wanted that job.
Eventually, it was decided that an email would be sent to Dr. Arkham. When he received it, he sent a response thanking the employee for alerting him and asked if they would be so good as to inform Nurse Amber's patients of her absence. That employee sobbed for a good thirty minutes.
By some miracle, Amber's Group, as they were often referred to among some of the staff, behaved rather well for the following two days. It all exploded on day three when Amber once again had to call out sick and visit her medical doctor. Dr. Arkham didn't get the news right away this time. The front desk staff was too busy trying to come up with a way to deliver the news without sending one of them to their doom, so the information was a bit delayed that morning.
While the staff bickered, Dr. Arkham had only just arrived at the asylum and was on his way to his office when he came across something in the hallway. A rather impressively built box fort blocked him off from getting to his office. The fort towered over him and came complete with battlements. He stood blinking at it for many seconds, pondering its existence, and finally decided to brush it off and kick a few boxes aside so he could slip by when a young woman's voice called out from inside, "Halt! Who goes there?"
Dr. Arkham's brow furrowed in confusion but answered. "Um, Dr. Jeremiah Arkham; the director of the asylum."
"Ah. The lord of the manor! Did you bring cookies?"
Now Dr. Arkham looked thoroughly confused. When no response came, a maroon haired girl peeped out from the top of a tower. "Did you bring cookies?" Amelia repeated.
"Ummm…no."
"Sunflower seeds?"
"No."
Amelia sniffed dismissively. "No cookies, no sunflower seeds; no entry! Move along." She ducked out of sight.
By now the box fort had been noticed on camera by the security guards and a few were arriving. They stood back, waiting for orders and a few orderlies passing by stopped and waited to see if they'd be needed to assist.
"Uh, Miss Rose? I'm going to have to ask you to come out of there," Dr. Arkham requested.
"Nevah!" came the defiant response.
"If you don't then I'll have to have the orderlies come and get you."
"I will never surrender!"
Dr. Arkham sighed and nodded at a couple of orderlies, one of them being Mark Griffen, to go ahead. They approached the fort. From within the structure, Amelia's voice could be heard. "Invasion is imminent! Defend the castle! Ready the catapults!"
"Catapults?" Mark said, eyebrows raised.
"Fire!"
Within seconds, multiple balls of yarn flew over the fort walls and smacked Mark and the other orderly in the face as well as a few employees within reach. Mark and his co-worker backed out of firing rang and looked to Dr. Arkham. "Go get Nurse Amber Johnson, please," he asked Mark. Mark nodded and dashed off for the front desk.
"Miss Rose?" Dr. Arkham called. "I've sent for Nurse Amber."
"Yes! Get Nurse Amber, not the ogre. If you bring the ogre, I'll have no choice but to use the cannon!"
Dr. Arkham's brow wrinkled. "You have a cannon?"
"Only Nurse Amber may have entrance!"
"You have a cannon?"
"Where is Nurse Amber?"
"You have a cannon?!"
"I don't see her. Man the cannon!"
"Stop manning the cannon!" Dr. Arkham shouted. It wasn't even 9 am yet! How was this even happening so early in the morning?
The sound of feet rapidly approaching from behind made him turn. Mark slowed to a stop and breathlessly informed him that Nurse Johnson had called out sick again. Dr. Arkham sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. "Someone get that girl out of there. I don't have time for this." He picked up his brief case and began to walk towards the far right side of the fort.
"Halt! You have not been granted passage! Halt! Halt, I say!"
"Miss Rose, I am a very busy man –,"
"Hah! I know what you really are!"
"The why don't you come out here and tell us?"
"I'll not fall for your trickery, doctor! Man the cannon!"
Dr. Arkham shook his head and lifted a foot to nudge aside a box. "Um, sir? Aren't you concerned what she's about to fire at you?" Mark asked, nervously.
"She used yarn as her cannon balls, Mr. Griffen. I'm not too worried."
"Fire!"
A sharp little sting collided with the back of his head and he flinched around to locate the source while rubbing where he'd been hit. "What was that?" he asked Mark.
"I didn't catch it, sir."
"Fire!"
For a brief instance, Amelia popped into sight then vanished just a quickly and another sharp sting hit Dr. Arkham, this time on the cheek. Something small and white stuck to his skin and it came off in his hand.
"Is that what I think it is, Mr. Griffen?"
"Yep. Spitball, sir."
"Fire!"
Dr. Arkham and Mark dove out of the line of fire.
It took several attempts, but eventually Amelia ran out of ammo and Mark was able to enter the fort and bring her out. He had a heck of a time prying the spitball pipe out of her hands. "Unhand me or I shall strike you with my cannon!"
"It's a spitball pipe, Miss Rose."
"It's a cannon."
"Nooo, it's a spitball pipe."
"Cannon!"
"Spitball pipe!"
"You will regret the day you crossed me and my mighty cannon!" She lifted the pipe to her lips and puffed. A spitball hit Mark directly between the eyes. The paper bullet clung to his skin as he sighed through his nose and glowered at Amelia.
"Fine. It's a cannon," he conceded. Amelia gave a happy little chirp then settled herself comfortable in his arms as he carried her out of the fort and to the awaiting orderlies.
"By the way, Mr. Griffen," Dr. Arkham called as Mark and the others were about to escort her to her cell. "Would you be so good as to inform Nurse Amber's other patients that she won't be coming in today?"
Mark gulped and gave a feeble nod.
"Where the heck have you been?" Katherine asked the moment Amelia was brought to their wing.
"I was defending the castle from ogres and trolls!" Amelia announced grandly.
"She built a box fort in the hall and fired yarn and spitballs at us," Mark explained. Crane caught himself grinning with amusement and quickly got rid of it.
"A box fort?" Katherine repeated.
"With battlements," Mark added.
"Where did she get the boxes? Why don't I have a box fort? Don't I have a minion? Get her on that!"
"She's on strike," Katlyn replied sulkily from her cell.
"Still?"
"Until further notice."
Katherine scoffed. "This is ridiculous. I demand you stop acting like this."
"Hi, you've reached Katlyn's voicemail; I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message after the beep."
"Katlyn, you're acting like a child –,"
"Beep!"
"….Katlyn, this is Katherine. Stop being such a twerp –,"
"Voicemail is full. Deleting most recent message."
"Katlyn!" Katherine only got silence. "Katlyn!" Still nothing. "Grrr. You can't ignore me!"
"I believe that's precisely what she's doing," Crane blithely informed her. He was lying down, hands linked behind his head, and trying to distract himself by mentally going through phobias alphabetically, but with his cell being located smack in the middle of Katlyn and Katherine's, it was difficult to ignore their squabbles. He'd been suffering through them ever since Nigma's declaration.
A tap, tapping was heard on the wall to his right, the one that adjoined his cell to Katherine's. "Psst! Crane!" she whispered loud enough for the whole wing to hear.
Crane closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Cyberphobia, cynophobia, decidophobia, demonophobia, dentophobia, dromophobia –
"Psssst! Craaaaane!" Katherine hissed even louder.
He sighed. It was no use. He opened his eyes and sat up. "What?" he asked, irritably.
"I need you to pass a message on to Katlyn."
"She can hear you just fine, Katherine."
"I know she can but I have to take matters into my own hands now!"
Crane ran a hand over his face and slumped. "Fine. Go ahead."
"Tell her to stop being such a butt-munch!"
Crane blinked. "No."
"No?"
"No. I will not let such immature insults pass my lips."
"Says the man who wears a potato sack over his head."
"I do believe it's been awhile since I've sent your brother into conniptions. Shall we start that up again?"
"Darn you and your freaky, cultured voice!"
"I like it," was Amelia's simple reply as she was led passed Crane's cell.
His head snapped up. Had he heard that right? He leapt off the cot and hurried to the glass. The cell Amelia was assigned used to be Chelsea's. It was on the opposite side of Crane's cell and the fifth one down the hall. He strained to catch a glimpse of her but visibility was limited. If she stood at the very front of her glass wall, he had a better chance of seeing her.
Once she was secured inside, Mark walked to the center of the hall and cleared his throat. "So, uh, I have to tell you guys something about Nurse Johnson. … Uuuum…"
"She's running a bit late, isn't she?" Nigma asked.
"She's late!" Jervis cried. "She's late for a very important date!"
"Can it!" Dent growled, effectively silencing Jervis' rant.
"As you know, Nurse Johnson hasn't been feeling very well and had to call out sick the past two days," Mark went on.
"We've been so bored without her," Harley whined. "You guys are no fun! Too strict."
"Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to be bored for a little while longer," Mark admitted. "Nurse Johnson's still very ill and called out again."
"What?" Katherine gasped.
"Noooooo!" Harley moaned. "I'm gonna die of boredom!"
"That's three days now!" Katlyn said.
"The munchkin can count!" the Joker hooted.
Mark felt sweat begin to trickle down his cheek. "You'll have to remain in your cells until –,"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah; we know the drill," the Joker drawled. "All activities are put on hold until further notice and we have our meals delivered to us in our cells."
"Y-yes. I'm sorry," Mark apologized.
"No, you're not," the Joker muttered, looking a bit disappointed. He pushed away from where he'd been leaning on the glass wall and flopped onto his bed. Mark told them when the guards would be by with their breakfast and awkwardly excused himself.
"This sucks," Katherine said as she lowered herself to the floor and sat cross-legged. Nigma looked at her from across the hall and nodded his agreement.
"Since when have we had to be confined to our cells when Nurse Amber isn't present?" Harley asked.
"Since we decided it would be fun to duct tape the substitute nurse to a rolling chair," Dent answered.
"Oh yeah," Harley sighed.
"Caleb miss Nurse Amber."
"At this point I think we all do," Ivy said with a sigh.
"I hope she gets better soon," Tommy said.
"We should make her get well cards!" Amelia suggested excitedly.
"Can't leave our cells to go to the Art Room, my dear," Crane reminded her.
"Don't need to."
"We don't?" Tommy asked. Unlike Crane, he had a better view into Amelia's cell. His cousin, Jervis, had the one directly in front of her and Tommy was on Jervis' right.
"We can make them in our cells!"
The Joker scoffed. "With what?"
"With this!" And just like that, Amelia reached under her bed and dragged out a box full of art supplies.
"How did you - ?!" Harley squeaked.
"What is it?" those who couldn't see asked.
"She'd got a horde of art stuff, puddin'!"
"You been holdin' out on us, firecracker?"
"Glitteeeeeeeer!" Amelia cheered, tossing a handful of it into the air.
When the guards came by with their breakfast, no one thought to question the presence of construction paper and crayons in each patient's cell. They assumed the art supplies had been provided by the staff in order to keep them occupied so they left without comment. Katherine on the other hand…
"Is no one going to question how that girl slipped us these art supplies into our cells without our noticing?!"
The Joker, lying belly-down on the floor, lifted his eyes from his get-well card and looked across the hall into Katherine's cell. He thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. "Nah. I'm good." Everyone else seemed to agree with him.
Katherine shook her head and returned to working on her own card. "Makes no sense," she grumbled. "She's like a freakin' roach being able to slip into rooms like that."
"Ssssh, giantess! I'm trying to concentrate," Amelia reprimanded.
Katherine's brows drew in and her nose scrunched up in response. "Did she just…" She stood and peered as best she could down the hall toward Amelia's cell. "Hey!" She pounded her fist on the glass. "Amelia!"
The teenager suspiciously inched closer to her glass wall to look at Katherine. "You called?"
"Yeah. What did you just call me?"
"A giantess."
"Really? That's what you think I am? You think Bolton's an ogre, Jervis is the actual Mad Hatter, Ivy's a dryad, Nurse Amber's some sort of an elf princess –,"
"Not an elf," Amelia interrupted. "She doesn't have the right hands for it. Not a mermaid either. But she's some kind of fae."
"Whatever! My point is, everyone else is some kind of cool mystical creature, but when it comes to me, I'm some lame giant?"
"Giantess," Amelia corrected.
"Still lame. Why couldn't I have been something awesome? Like a demon or something?"
"Because that's not what you are, silly. I can't help that."
From inside his cell, Nigma could see the gears beginning to turn in his girl's head; a plan concocting, a scheme slowly taking root. One part of him felt a sense of pride at her deviousness; the other half took one look at the gleam in her eyes and said, "Uh-oh."
"So you think I'm a giantess, huh? Well, I'm afraid you're mistaken," Katherine said.
Amelia went back to her card making, bored with the conversation. "Nope. You're totally a giantess."
Katherine smirked. "We'll see about that."
"Achoo!"
"Gesundheit," the doctor said.
Amber wearily pulled out a wad of tissues from her sweater pocket and blew her nose for the gazillionth time within the past three days. Her whole body ached and even sitting upright felt strenuous.
The doctor finished scribbling a prescription slip and tore it free from the clipboard. He held it out to her. "Take this for the next five days. If your symptoms continue after that, see me immediately. Alright?"
"Okay," Amber croaked. She sniffed and used a tissue to dab at her red and tender nose.
After leaving the hospital, she drove to the pharmacy she frequented and parked. She sat in the car, willing herself to get out, but lacking the energy. "Move your big butt, Amber Johnson. The sooner you move, the sooner you can get your meds and go home and lay in bed with a good book and soup." The comforting mental image gave her the nudge she needed.
Despite being the beginning of May, Amber wore her favorite sweater. It sported a hood, inner pockets, and was made from thick black material with white outlining. It was getting to be very worn in some spots. Maybe she'd buy another one for her birthday. It was coming up in a couple of weeks. She zipped the sweater closed and stuffed her hands in the pockets. She was one of those people who got cold easily and carried a sweater with her everywhere. The fever hadn't made things any better for her. Her skin may have felt hot to the touch but inside she felt like Mr. Freeze had fired his freeze-gun at her bones.
Trudging into the store, Amber headed directly towards the back for the pharmacy. A tiny whimper escaped her when she saw there were four other people in line. Please, please, pleeeeease, God, she silently prayed. Make the line go fast.
"Helloooooooo, Gothamites!" cried a man from behind.
Having worked in an asylum for nearly two years, Amber could tell without evening looking that the owner of that voice was mentally unstable. The kind that she dealt with on a daily basis. She didn't want to turn around. If she did then that meant whatever issue was about to happen would occur and it she didn't turn then she could pretend nothing was happening for just a little longer.
"If I may have your attention!" He pronounced the latter word with an overly French accent and giggled afterwards.
Amber lifted her eyes heaven-ward then turned around. Her eyes widened. Oh. Dear. God. NO!
"Some of you already know who I am, but those of you who don't, allow me to introduce myself! I am known around this city as – dramatic pause …'the yellow-skinned whacky man'! But I am trying to put the word out that I prefer to be called 'the Creeper', so if you'd do me a favor and call me that – tell your friends – I'd be really appreciative."
The man standing in the center of the store was clad in nothing but a black and deep-green striped speedo, a ridiculously furry red cloak, and matching long red gloves and boots trimmed with black faux fur. His shirtless state proudly displayed his mellow yellow skin and athletic physic. His green hair stuck up in wild disarray and a manic gleam shone from his blue eyes. An anchorman smile showed off perfectly white teeth. Held in his gloved hands was an overly-large sack.
"Would you people be so good as to fill this sucker up with money, jewelry, credit cards, and candy? Actually, you know what – just fill it with candy! Halloween came early this year, folks! Fill 'er up!" He threw back his head and let out loud, deranged peels of laughter.
Amber hunched into herself and tried to sneak out of sight, sliding towards an aisle to her right.
"Hey!" the Creeper cried and suddenly he was standing in front of her. "Where do you think you're going, cutie? Hmmmmmmmm?" he asked, sticking his face before hers.
Sneeze, she begged her nose. Right in the face, come on! He's practically asking for it! But it didn't happen. The Creeper was waiting for an answer. "I was just going to grab that candy for you," she lied.
"Oh, well thank you! Gee, that's real nice!" He turned to address the terrified crowd around them. "See now, this girl's got the right idea! That's real neighborly or her! Of course, we're not actually neighbors and this isn't really a neighborhood – but if it were…." He trailed off, scratched at his head, and shrugged. "Ah, I forget where I was going with that – say!" He refocused his attention on Amber. "How about you give me your number?"
"No, Creeper!"
Green eyebrows went up and his eyes went wide. There was an expression on his face that Amber could only compare to the kind worn by someone who hardly dared to hope that something might be true. An index finger lifted and pointed at her. "Say that again," he said, barely restrained excitement evident in his voice. "But say it exactly like you just did."
Amber frowned in confusion but did so. "No, Creeper!"
Gloved hands slapped at the sides of his face and his jaw fell open. "O.M.G! It's you! It's my hottie on the phone!"
Dear God, please take me now. In Jesus name, Amen.
"Oh my flaming flamingos! You're even cuter than I imagined! Well, I kinda pictured you with bigger boobs, but trifles, am I right?!"
Now would be good, God.
"Well, I'm done," Katherine announced.
"Me too!" Tommy agreed.
"Is anyone still working on their card?" Ivy asked. No one answered. "Okay. Great."
"Oh poop," Amelia suddenly piped up. "How is Nurse Amber going to get her cards if we're stuck in here? The staff sure isn't going to mail them to her."
The Joker gave his signature grin. "Well, we'll just have to take them to her ourselves, now won't we?"
There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home, Amber thought with her eyes closed.
Unfortunately, clicking the heels of her red converse shoes wasn't the same as wearing ruby slippers. When she opened her eyes she was still standing in the middle of the store with the Creeper prattling on and on about how their meeting was fate and they were meant to be together. She felt about ready to hurl. All she wanted was to get her freakin' prescription and go home to eat chicken noodle soup, snuggle on the couch and read!
"So how about it?"
"Huh?" Amber asked, tuning back in to the Creeper's voice.
"The color scheme for our wedding! I'm thinking red and green with a dash of yellow!"
"I'm gonna be sick," Amber moaned.
"Not what you had in mind?"
"No, I'm actually sick and you're making me even worse!"
"Ooooh. So we should hold off on this conversation, huh?"
"Or never have it again."
"Right! Exactly what I was thinking!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! We should totally just elope!"
"What?!"
Before Amber had a chance to dash away, the Creeper pulled the giant sack over her head and slung it over his shoulder like Santa Clause. As he ran out of the store, he waved at the customers and called, "You're all invited to attend the wedding! Just follow the erratically driven car!"
Needless to say, no one followed them, but one guy immediately dialed 9-1-1 and watched to see which car the Creeper stole so he could rattle off the license plate number to the police dispatcher.
"Freedom!" Katherine inhaled deeply through her nose, breathing in the fresh air that was slightly tinted with the stench of Gotham City, but who cared because she was outside of Arkham Asylum for the first time in years! The sun had begun to set, tingeing the buildings in shades of orange. "I take back what I said about you being a roach, Amelia. You came in handy getting us out of there."
"Uh, she barely helped, I did most of the work," the Joker reminded Katherine.
"You do this on a regular basis, why should I be impressed with you?"
Just as the Joker opened his mouth to argue, Harley jumped onto his back and planted a big kiss on his unpainted, scarred cheek. "Mistah J, this was a brilliant idea! Nurse Amber's gonna be so thrilled to see us!" The Joker gave a non-committal grunt and shook her off, playing it off as if he were stretching his back. She pouted but made no comment.
"See you guys later!" Katherine said with a wave. "Me and Mr. Riddler here are gonna have us a much needed date night." She threaded her arm with Nigma's and started to walk in the opposite direction but felt no such movement from Edward. "C'mon, Eddie," she encouraged, struggling to get him to move with her. He remained stationary. Finally she huffed and gave him a frown. "What gives?"
"Are you not going to at least be present when Amber receives our cards?" he asked.
"Dude, this is our chance to book it! I want a romantic date! One filled with carrying our nefarious crimes like robbing a jewelry store; preferably one with a huge diamond engagement ring for you to steal and give to me on bended knee!"
"Oh come now, kitten, we can't be rude and back out –,"
"Eddiiiie," Katherine whined. "Date, romance, crime-couple, riddles and diamonds; now!"
"We can do that after we deliver the cards to Nurse Amber and make sure she's on her way to recovery. I promise."
Katherine folded her arms and glared. Nigma sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. "'This very thing you were born with pleases us all. It's even capable of making men fall, while only experienced by few it's treasured by all. What is it?'"
Katherine eyed him, not wanting to show she was curious, but couldn't help it. "What?"
He gave her his most winning smile. "'Answer: Your beauty.'"
Katherine let out a squeal and threw her arms around his neck. "Okay, just a quick trip to see Nurse Amber!"
Behind her back, Nigma met the eyes of the Joker, Crane, Dent, and both Tetchs. They all gave him a thumbs up with nods of approval.
Since the group were unable to nab their costumes from Holding, they were still in the bright orange asylum uniforms and had to slink through the alleys of Gotham until they came across a clothing store that was located out of sight from the street and little foot-traffic came its way. They didn't even have to pull a gun on the workers; the moment they saw the uniforms with 'Arkham Asylum' clearly printed on them, they threw up their hands and said, "Take what you want!" so they did. The group left the store with new threads that allowed them anonymity so long as no one got too good of a look at their faces.
Katherine had chosen a green dress with short-sleeves and a skirt that reached her mid-thigh, along with black leggings and boots. She was in complete admiration of the dark grey, three-piece suit, fedora, and white button-up shirt Nigma had chosen. The other men opted for a more casual look, going with jeans and button-up shirts with light jackets.
Without his iconic make-up and suit, the Joker almost looked normal in a dark purple button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal toned forearms, a black vest, and faded jeans. Harley certainly thought he looked handsome. "Those jeans do amazing things to his butt," she whispered to Ivy. The red-headed woman merely rolled her eyes and gagged, which boosted her standing in Katherine's book.
As they were making their way down the sidewalk, Katherine pulled up short and so did Nigma since their arms were still linked. "Hold up," she called. "Does anyone know where Nurse Amber lives?"
"I do," the Joker called over his shoulder, not pausing to stop.
"How?" Katherine asked.
In answer, the Joker turned on his heel and faced Katherine to give her an enigmatic grin that just looked plain creepy, while walking backwards. After making sure she understood he wasn't going to give anything away, he faced forward and promptly collided with a colorfully clad man with a handlebar mustache.
"Watch where you're going, buffoon!" the man sneered.
The Joker quirked an eyebrow and gave his patch-work clothes a disdainful once-over. "Dude, looove the outfit."
"You dare mock me? The powerful Crazy Quilt?!"
Someone in the group sniggered which set off everyone else. "Please tell me you're joking," Ivy laughed.
"No I'm not joking! I am Crazy Quilt! From my fingers, I release fabulous symphonies of color! And you mere mortals will cower before me!"
The laughter doubled in volume.
"Is this what happens when the Joker's in Arkham?" Katherine asked, leaning heavily on Nigma's arms. She was laughing so hard that she could barely stand. She turned her face towards the Joker and asked, "Is this why you break out so often? To deal with the copy-cats?"
The Joker pointed at Crazy Quilt. "You think he's a copy-cat of me? Oh, nuh-uh. He's just a pathetic little cretin who wants to fit in with the big leagues."
Crazy Quilt drew himself to his full height and put both hands on his hips. "How dare you!"
"No, you listen here, Wet Blanket," the Joker interrupted, poking him so hard in the chest that the air deflated from the man. "I'm willing to let this go if you just hurry on by without another word, but if you continue to draw attention to us, then I'm going to have to do something about it."
"Oh really?" Crazy Quilt said loftily. "Like what?"
The Joker grinned as if he'd been hoping for that question.
Amber wasn't mad that she'd been bagged like a rabbit. She wasn't mad that she'd been kidnapped and tossed in the back of a stolen 2001 Jeep Cherokee. She also wasn't mad that the Creeper's driving kept sending her tumbling around in the back of the jeep. Nope. The thing that had her really rip-roaring mad about was that she hadn't been able to get her prescription medicine. She'd been soooo close to getting home! Why did the Creeper have to choose to go into that pharmacy?! Why?
'Lucky Strike' by Maroon 5 blared from the speakers, nearly drowning out the Creeper's shouts and peals of laughter.
"Woooooo! Watch out, granny! I'm trying to drive here! Wheeeeee!"
"You're crazy!" Amber shouted while she fought to keep herself stationary with little to no success.
"Hey, in a town like Gotham, sometimes crazy is all that works!"
Thankfully, the Creeper seemed to be an expert at bad driving and avoided colliding with anything. Amber got the feeling he'd been an excellent driver before his mind went loo-loo but now just didn't care to drive cautiously, opting for speed instead of staying within the same lane. His control over the vehicle was practiced, like a stunt driver.
At first, Amber disliked the giant sack, but it was the closest thing to a blanket she had so she burrowed in and drew it over her head, framing her face. "How ya doin' back there, cutie?" the Creeper shouted over his shoulder. His blue eyes glanced in the rearview mirror to find her curled up in the rear cargo space.
"Your hair isn't going to be the only thing green in this car if you don't drive more carefully!"
"You say that like you're sick."
Amber's upper body rose high enough so that she could meet his gaze reflected in the mirror. "That's because I AM!"
"Well, why didn't you say so?"
The Creeper slammed his foot down on the breaks and sent Amber hurtling towards the front. She hit the back seats with a thud and rolled away again. Cars swerved to avoid hitting them, horns blasted as if they were the voices of the drivers themselves shouting insults. "Alright, alright! Keep yer shirt on!" the Creeper hollered. He applied the gas and surprisingly kept with the speed limit. His eyes flicked to the mirror. "Better?" he asked.
Amber warily peeped out from the sack and nodded. Inching forward like a worm, she made it to the back seats and crawled over them to the front passenger seat. "Aaaw, are you wanting to sit next to your future hubby?" the Creeper gushed.
"I'm only coming up here for two reasons," Amber said, kicking off the sack and buckling her seat belt. "One; because this seat leans back and I desperately need that right now." She pulled the lever at the side and the seat lowered to her desired position. She closed her eyes and savored the tiny moment of respite. "Two," she continued, "I'll be closer to you in case I have to throw up."
"Not exactly the romantic car ride I had in mind."
"Lemme tell you where you can stuff that romance –,"Amber's advice was cut off by the sudden explosion of air and the violent swerving of the car. The vehicle veered off into several lanes as the Creeper fought to get it back under control and Amber screamed creative 'obscenities'. "Moooother-father-sister-brother-aunt-uncle-cousin-twice-removed!"
The jeep left the road for a brief moment, giving a hot dog and a popcorn vendor heart-attacks before the Creeper yanked on the wheel and sent the car hurtling back into traffic. It did a complete 360, eliciting a high-pitched scream from the Creeper, and came to rest in a parallel parking space, only just bumping into the streetlight pole next to them. It wobbled and Amber watched in horror as it gave a metallic groan and collapsed into the street.
"That could have turned out much –,"
"Don't you say it!" Amber cried.
" – worse."
CRASH!
They both jumped as several cars rammed into the fallen streetlight which resulted into more cars smashing into those vehicles and so on and so on. As the wreckage began to stretch back further than they could see, Amber slowly twisted around to look at the Creeper and narrowed her eyes at him. He flung his hands up defensively. "Oh like I knew those words were laced with magic Karma!"
All of a sudden the wind shield shattered and a black-gauntleted arm reached in and snatched the Creeper out of his seat. Amber lifted her eyes to see Batman crouched on the jeep's hood. "I thought I told you to keep that patch on!" he growled, shaking the yellow-skinned man.
"It made my neck itchy!" the Creeper complained.
"Achoo!"
"Bless you," the Creeper and Batman said at once. The Dark Knight suddenly did a double-take and peered at Amber. Did her eyes deceive her or did it look like his widened in recognition.
"Sup," Amber greeted and blew her nose.
After the Creeper was taken into custody, Batman took Amber aside and sat her down on an iron park bench to question her. "Why is this the second time I've found you in the company of a criminal?"
"It's a gift." Amber sniffed and dipped her hand into her sweater pocket to pull another tissue but found it empty. She felt her nose begin to run. Don't use your sleeve cuff to wipe your nose, don't use your sleeve cuff to wipe your nose.
Batman reached into his belt and withdrew a travel-sized pack of tissues. "Here," his gravelly voice offered. Amber lifted a curious eyebrow at it and his belt. "Even I get colds sometimes."
She laughed and accepted the tissues, pulling one out and sighing with relief when she discovered it was the nice brand that soothed her sore nose.
"That wreck is going to cause some serious traffic problems all over the city," Batman mused aloud, looking out towards the street. Amber wilted in her seat. It was going to be impossible to get a taxi to drive her back to the store; and who knew how long it would take to get to her apartment. Seeing the look of defeat on her face, Batman asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Amber's voice came out pitifully as she said, "Could you drop me off at the pharmacy?"
Batman's mouth curled into a smile. He tilted his head at the massive vehicle behind him. "Hop in."
Amber's green eyes grew wide as she looked from the Dark Knight to the Batmobile and back. An excited grin worked its way onto her face. "No way."
Batman nodded.
"Duuuude!" She hopped up from the bench and did a little jig. "Are you serious?" she squeaked.
In answer, Batman held a small device and pressed a button which made the vehicle's cockpit hiss open. Amber's mouth hung open as she cautiously approached the intimidating machine. Batman made his way to the driver's side and climbed in. He looked at her, waiting. "I swear I am going to try my hardest not to sneeze all over the upholstery," she said earnestly.
Returning to the pharmacy in the Batmobile was fun. Seeing the gob smacked expressions on everyone's faces was hilarious. But the real pièce de résistance was having Batman himself escort her inside the store and take her to the front of the pharmacy line which had grown in her absence. If anyone thought about commenting on Amber skipping it was silenced by the presence of the Dark Knight standing at her side.
Medicine in hand, Amber and Batman left the store and he informed her of an alternative route home that probably hadn't been hit by the traffic yet if she left immediately. After thanking him profusely, they went to their separate vehicles.
Batman's advice about the alternate route proved solid. Amber made her way through just before more drivers began to use that course and render it invalid. There was still a lingering sense of giddiness as she trudged the stairs to her apartment. It vanished the moment she opened the door.
Gathered around the coffee table, some using throw pillows as a seat cushion and others choosing to do without, were the Rogues. They were in the middle of a game of Monopoly. Judging by the amount of play money in front of Katherine, she was brutally beating the others.
"Ha!" Katherine slapped a card down and held out her hand to the Joker. "Pay up, clown boy!" The Joker grumbled but forked over the cash. "Your turn, Tommy. You can finally buy that property from Dent," she informed.
Tommy nervously glanced at the board, his money, and then across the table at Harvey whose expression was like stone. Tommy hunched his shoulders and lowered his gaze to the board. "I don't know. I'd hate to get on Dent's bad side."
"Just sit on his right side and you won't be," Amelia piped up.
The Joker fell over howling with laughter as Dent narrowed his eyes and impatiently drummed his fingers on the coffee table. The Joker's eyes happened to alight on a shocked Amber standing in the open doorway. He instantly sat up and beamed at her. "Peaches! You made it!"
"To where? The Twilight Zone?" she asked.
"What the heck took you so long?" Katherine stood to her feet and placed both hand on hers hips. "We've been waiting forever!"
The others chimed in with their own comments about her absence from the asylum. "It's so boring without you there," Harley admitted. "They wouldn't let us out for anything!"
"Absolutely dreary," added Jervis.
"They gave me safety scissors!" Amelia complained. "Who does that!"
"You wouldn't happen to have any more puzzle books about the place, would you, Nurse Amber?" Nigma asked. "I've filled out all the ones you had in the basket by the sofa."
"No, that was it," Amber sighed.
"Drat," he mumbled under his breath.
"You sure have a lot of books, Nurse Amber," Katlyn commented.
"I wouldn't say three bookcases is a lot," Crane scoffed.
"Oh, really? Please do tell us how many you currently have in your cell, Dr. Crane," Katlyn asked sardonically. Crane closed his mouth and gave her a cool stare.
"Could we get back to the game, people?" Katherine asked impatiently.
"I'm bored with Monopoly," Amelia whined.
"You're just saying that because I'm winning!"
As everyone became distracted by their argument, Amber snuck off into the kitchen and dialed Dr. Arkham's cell phone number. He answered after the second ring.
"They're here," Amber whispered urgently. "All of my charges are here."
"What are you talking about? They couldn't possibly."
"Have you checked their cells?"
"Well…I personally haven't."
"Has anyone?"
There was an uncomfortable pause on his end. When he spoke again his voice carried a note of embarrassment. "Nurse Amber, if I may be perfectly frank; none of the staff like to go down there in person when you're absent from work. Your charges tend to be a little rowdy when you've been gone for an extended time."
"Have you checked the surveillance camera?"
"That's what the security team is for."
"Dr. Arkham, humor me. Go to the security room and wake up whoever is on duty because I'm telling you right now that they're here in my apartment."
"Hold please."
Amber waited anxiously for nearly four minutes. She crept towards the kitchen doorway and peeped around the edge to check on the group. "Amelia, stop throwing money in the air!" Katherine admonished.
"I'm makin' it rain!" Amelia giggled. Caleb laughed delightedly and threw his money in the air as well.
Amber ducked back inside just as Dr. Arkham's breathless and agitated voice came over the line. "They – we – I – Gah!"
"Told ya," Amber said.
"Are you alright?!"
"Oh, I'm fine. Super, actually. I'm just hosting a surprise slumber party in my living room!" she hissed, turning so that her back was to the doorway. "They're sitting in there, chill as can be, playing Monopoly. I don't even own Monopoly, I hate that game!"
"Who's winning?"
"Not the immediate issue here, doc!"
"Right, sorry."
"I'm short on time to go into any details. They don't know I'm making this call."
"I know this is a rather ridiculous question to ask, but do you feel you're in immediate danger, Nurse Amber?"
"I think that will depend on who looses Monopoly."
"Ah, there you are," Crane's voice said from behind her. Amber swiftly lowered her phone and hid it behind her back as she turned round. Crane hadn't come alone, Amelia was with him. Side by side their height difference was comical.
"Heeey," Amber greeted her voice wobbling. "What's up?"
"We wondered where you lit off to," Crane said.
"Just came to put away my medicine and make some popcorn."
"Oh, you're out," Amelia told her.
"…I bought a large box just before I got sick."
"And we popped it! Good brand by the way."
"Well, then I guess I'll bring out some chips –,"
"Gone."
"Peanuts?"
"Out."
Amber's brow furrowed. "How long have ya'll been here?"
Crane looked at his watch. "About four hours."
"Would have been here sooner if the pale one hadn't gotten side-tracked with that magic carpet," Amelia added.
"Say what?" Amber asked, thoroughly confused.
"You need to stock your fridge better," Amelia went on. "You know, in case guests come over."
"If you find something suitable to scrounge up, come join us for a game," Crane said as he took Amelia by the arm and steered her back to the doorway.
"Will do," Amber answered with false cheer. She waited until they were out of sight before marching to the refrigerator and opening it. Nearly all her food was gone. She lifted the phone to her ear. "Those little moochers cleaned me out!"
"I'll make sure you're paid for the food, Nurse Amber. I've already alerted the police, they should be heading your way now – what's going on?"
From the living room, the sound of raised voices calling Amelia's name could be heard. Amber groaned. "I gotta go." She hung up and rushed out of the kitchen. Many scenarios were running through her head about what she'd find, but what actually was occurring wasn't listed among them. Apparently, Amelia had come across Amber's Vicks humidifier and switched it on. The little clouds of vapor were freaking Amelia out for some reason. She clutched the small machine to her as she ran around the living room, dodging the arms of those trying to catch her.
"There's a tiny dragon trapped inside, I tell you!" she shouted.
Amber rubbed her forehead, hoping to assuage a growing headache. If she didn't get that girl settled down, the tenants below her were likely to complain about the noise. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the Joker slinking towards the hallway that led to her bedroom. She hurried over and grabbed the back of his shirt when he was half-way in the hall. "Just what do you think you're doing, Mr. Joker?" she asked.
He gave her an ambiguous smile. "Oh, just curious what was down this hall, that's all."
She gripped his shirt more firmly in hand and marched him back to the living room. "No going in that hall, got it?"
"Sure, peaches," he answered with a sly wink.
It occurred to her that Amelia's shouting had ceased. She released the Joker and glanced around the living room, searching for the manic girl. She was lying on the floor, intently watching the humidifier, while Crane sat nearby reading a book and idly passed a bowl of sunflowers to her. Amber cocked her head to the side, perplexed. "How?" she asked.
"It's simple. Sunflower seeds calm her," Crane enlightened her.
"Yeah, I can see that. I meant how did you get sunflowers seeds when I don't own any?"
Crane merely gave a mysterious smile.
She was about to ask for an outright answer when she noticed the Joker creeping back towards the hall. She darted for the hall and pushed her way past him. Splaying both arms out, she effectively blocked him from going any further. "Nah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! What did I just say?" she snapped.
The Joker shrugged. "Don't remember. Say, what's at the end of this hall?"
"None of your business."
A spark of interest flared in his dark brown eyes. "Those are my favorite kind of rooms." He took a step forward but Amber didn't budge. She fixed him with the best glare she could muster in spite of her tired state. "Um, you gonna keep standing there?" he asked.
"Yep."
"Even if I get closer?"
"Yep."
"Even if I got…" One step with his long legs was all it took to bring him face to face with her. "…this close?"
Amber swallowed nervously as she forced herself to keep eye contact. He was doing this to unnerve her; being so close in her personal space, their bodies brushing up against each other with each inhalation. He wasn't wearing the face paint she'd become so familiar with. True, she'd seen him without it on before but those moments were rare. Seeing him in street clothes and face bare of paint was a bit disorienting. The voice matched, the body movements were right and his height was the same, but without the make-up it almost felt like she was looking at someone else.
As the seconds stretched on, the Joker's mouth curled into a grin and Amber was surprised to see how even his smile was altered by the make-up's absence. No longer did it make him look menacing and disturbed; he looked like a mischievous young man whose smile could make women swoon. He even had freakin' dimples, and freckles were spattered lightly over his cheeks, nose and forehead!
"Careful, peaches," the Joker warned in a low tone. His grin altered into a coy smirk which made the dimples more prominent. "You keep looking at a guy like that and he's gonna think you want to be kissed." His head dipped ever so slightly down towards her. Was he about to –?!
A tell-tale tickle in her nose was the only warning she had and she curled into herself to avoid sneezing in the Joker's face. It blasted out of her body with such force that she was thrown off balance and bumped into the wall. Seizing his chance, the Joker giggled as he slipped by her and scurried for the door to her bedroom.
"Oh, no you don't!" Amber grumbled with a sniff and hurried after him.
He'd just gotten a hand on the door knob when Amber barreled into him and squeezed herself between him and the door. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly to prevent him from turning the knob. "Stay out of here!" Amber ordered and suddenly felt her breath hitch. Their collision had alerted his balance and now he was hunched over her, a few meager inches between their faces. She could probably count each individual freckle if she wasn't so stunned.
The brief dash and struggle had affected the Joker's breathing. His eyes locked onto hers and he carefully licked his lips. "What's behind door number one, sweetheart?" he asked in a whisper.
"It's not your concern," Amber replied, lowering her tone to match his without thinking.
"Is it your bedroom, hm?" He waggled his eyebrows.
"Whether it is or not isn't your business," she said with a slight quaver in her voice. She bit her bottom lip as if to punish herself for sounding so nervous.
His eyes were such a dark shade of brown. The hallway light wasn't on so they almost appeared black. Because she was so focused on his eyes, she noticed when he lowered them to her mouth. "You're not playing fair," he said, his voice husky.
Amber licked her suddenly dry lips. "I'm not playing anything."
"I know…" His left arm lifted and leaned his forearm on the door over her head. "That's what makes it so unfair."
He's messing with you. That's all he's doing; he's just trying to make you lose your nerve so he can get inside your room. Dear God, she hoped what her mind was telling her was true. But the intensity of his gaze sure didn't look like a ploy. And was her mind playing tricks on her or was his face getting closer?
"Puddiiiiiiin'!"
The Joker jerked away and whirled around to face the hall entrance. Harley wasn't there but she'd sounded close. He looked back at Amber and an expression she couldn't identify passed over his features.
"Anybody seen Mistah J?"
"Has anybody seen Nurse Amber?" Nigma's accented voice could be heard asking.
"Wait, they're both missing?" Katherine inquired.
"Stop grinning like that," Nigma chided.
"Can't be helped."
"Puddin'?"
The Joker heaved a sigh and gestured Amber to come away from the door. The game was over; time to rejoin the others. They entered the living room to find that Monopoly had been put away and the coffee table shoved off to the side to clear space for a plastic sheet covered with colored circles. A discarded box with 'Twister' on the lid was tossed on the table. Yet another game she didn't own.
The Joker gleefully rubbed his hands together. "Oooh, goody. I call first round."
Harley's eyes flicked from him to Amber. "Where were you guys?" she asked. Her tone wasn't accusatory, but there was a slight hint of suspicion in her gaze.
"I could waste your time giving a very boring explanation or we could start the game," the Joker offered. He lowered himself to lounge lazily on the floor but his eyes met Harley's with a warning.
Harley worried at her bottom lip, debating. Amber noticed the Joker's gaze didn't even glance at her mouth. "Let's play," Harley finally agreed. She gave a beaming smile but Amber detected the forced air in it. Something in her stomach clenched at the sight. She realized she felt guilty, but what was there to feel guilty about? Nothing had happened, nothing was going to happen, nothing would ever happen. The Joker had been messing with her; that was it.
"Wait, wait," Katherine piped up. "Is the Joker playing? 'Cause if he is then I'm not playing. I don't want any chance of his body touching my body."
"What? You don't want any of this?" the Joker asked as he gestured at his reclined form.
Katherine's face screwed up in distaste. "Don't make me barf."
"More for me!" Harley giggled. She plopped next to the Joker and probably would have straddled him if he hadn't moved towards the mat.
"So who's going to play against me?" he asked.
"Well I was going to go first, but not anymore," Katherine grumped.
"Kitten, how about you take charge of the spinner?" Nigma suggested.
It was like a light bulb clicked on over her head. "Doesn't that mean I get to chose the players?"
"I don't think it works that –,"
"Great! Then the Joker, Nurse Amber, Crane and Buffy the Vampire Slayer will play the first round."
"Who the heck is Buffy?" Amelia asked.
"Remind me to educate you another time," Amber chuckled as she removed her shoes. To her surprise, Crane did the same. "Crane? Are you actually going to play?"
An embarrassed beat passed. "I might be."
"You never struck me as the type."
His blue eyes glanced towards a very excited Amelia. "Perhaps there are a lot of things I've never seemed the type for."
Amber followed the direction of his gaze and furrowed her brow at where it landed. Amelia? She opened her mouth to question him further but the Joker looped his arm through hers and dragged her towards the mat.
"Nurse Amber, is there any way we can play some music?" Katlyn asked. Amber extricated herself from the Joker long enough to bring up her iTunes account on the laptop and show her how to work the speakers. The Joker stayed at her side the whole time, impatiently drumming his fingers on his forearm. When Katlyn gave her the thumbs up that she understood, the Joker swept Amber up once more and soon they were facing off against Crane and Amelia.
On the sofa, Ivy and Dent were sharing the last bowl of popcorn. "Is Crane really going through with this?" Ivy whispered to Dent.
"Looks like it," he whispered back.
"Oh this is going to be good."
Dent chuckled his agreement.
As 'I Gotta Feeling' by Black Eyed Peas began to play from the speakers, Katherine energetically called out, "Okay, folks! Are! You! Ready!"
"Caleb is ready!"
"Caleb, you're not playing yet."
"…Oh yeah."
"Are the current players ready?" Katherine amended.
"Ready and waiting," the Joker said, stretching his arms over head and unintentionally drawing Amber's attention to the way his shirt went taunt against his lean build. She quickly looked away and focused on the mat.
Nigma sat in the remaining seat on the sofa next to Dent and Katherine sat on the floor, using the couch as a backrest. From where he sat, Nigma could see the spinner board over her shoulder. Katherine flicked the spinner and waited for the result. "Left leg yellow," she called. The players did as told. She spun again. "Right hand blue." Nigma should have known that devious look he'd seen in her eyes meant she was up to something. He didn't catch on until they were about mid-game and he happened to look down and notice that the colors she called out weren't matching up with what the spinner landed on. He glanced at Ivy and Dent to see if they'd noticed. They were too focused on watching the game.
Looking at the players, it dawned on him what Katherine's scheme had been all along. The Joker and Amber were twisted together in a most intimate position. Crane and Amelia were in the same predicament. Each time Katherine called out a limb and color, it was with the express purpose of getting the two couples to be closer together.
As Katherine spun again, Nigma nudged her with his leg. She turned to look at him. "Kitten, mind taking a break for a moment and join me in the kitchen?"
"Why?"
"Because."
"I'm not leaving this game for a 'because'," she responded and turned back around.
Nigma looked to Dent for back-up. Harvey winked to show he got the message. "He probably wants some privacy to make out with you," he said casually.
Katherine's long arms lifted the spinner board into the air. "Who wants to takeover?!"
"Oo, oo, oo!" Caleb sounded, raising his hand enthusiastically. Katherine tossed the board to her brother and quickly scrambled to her feet. She grabbed Nigma by his necktie and hauled him up from the sofa. "Let's get going!"
Nigma tossed an appreciative look Dent's way and the ex-district attorney tried to suppress a chuckle as he nodded back at him. Caleb flicked the spinner and waited a few seconds then flicked it again before it stopped. When it showed signs of slowing down, he flicked it. Dent cleared his throat. "Uh, Caleb?"
"Hm?"
"You gotta let it stop so you can call out what it lands on."
"…Oh." Caleb looked at the ever slowing spinner and flicked it again.
"Oh for cryin' out loud!" the Joker whined. He was currently supporting his weight with his left hand on green, right hand on blue, while his left foot was on yellow and his right on red. Beneath him was Amber, who was trembling from holding her crab-walk position for the past four minutes. Her left hand was on green, right on yellow, and both feet were occupying yellow circles as well.
The Joker's arms were beginning to shake. Amber's nose twitched. He fixed her with a stern glare. "Don't you dare sneeze on me."
Crane and Amelia, oddly enough, were almost mirroring their positions. Crane wasn't about to complain though. "This is a bit of a coincidence, isn't it?" He asked, looking down at Amelia.
She lifted her right hand from red and tapped her index finger on Crane's unsuspecting nose. "Boop," she said and giggled. Crane did his best to hide the smile threatening to appear.
Inside the kitchen, Nigma stumbled backwards from Katherine launching herself at him, lips puckered and ready for a smooch. "I'm afraid Dent may have spoken out of turn," Nigma apologized.
Katherine froze and leaned back so she could properly look him in the eye. "You mean you didn't want to make out?"
"I mean, that would be nice, but it's not what I originally intended –,"
Katherine spun around so fast her long brown hair whipped Nigma's face. "I've got to get back in there! Before Caleb ruins all my work!"
"Wait, Katherine. Answer me this; if you hate the Joker so much, why are you so keen to set him up with Nurse Amber?"
Katherine paused and sighed. She reversed direction and fixed him with a dramatic stare. "Because I have a duty to carry out; a calling. I can't ignore such a responsibility just because I hate his guts. I never know when it will make itself known, but shipping is my Mistress and I must heed her sweet call."
"Even when it most likely will end in catastrophe?"
Katherine's nose scrunched up. "What are you on about?"
"I'm just saying that there may be a chance you've misinterpreted your personal wish to ship someone with a calling."
"Phft! Not a chance. Besides, I'm amazing at this!"
"Really?"
"Do you doubt me?"
"Weeeeell –,"
"Every ship I have ever shipped has set sail!"
"Sort of."
"Sort of? Who are you thinking about?"
Nigma shrugged. "There was Katelynn 2."
"Phft! Who's Katelynn 2? Who is this person? There's only one Katlyn and she's in the living room playing horrible music choices instead of music that suggests 'let's get it on' when I'm clearly at work on my scheme! Any good minion knows this!"
Nigma ran a hand over his face, knowing a lost cause when he saw one. "Any chance we could just make out and you forget this calling for the time being?"
"No." She whirled around and headed for the doorway. "I must ship!"
"He's doing it again!" Harley cried, pointing at Caleb. Caleb snickered and followed the rapid movements of the spinner with his head as he gave it another turn without calling out anything.
"Alright, that's it, time to let someone else have a shot, kid," Harvey grunted as he got off the couch and reached for the board.
Katherine suddenly swooped in and snatched it from their hands. "I'll take that!" She hugged it close and settled herself back on the floor. "Who's left?" She surveyed the players left on the mat. It was only Amber and the Joker. She looked to Crane and Amelia sitting on the sidelines.
Crane pointed an accusatory finger at Amelia. "She booped me in the ribs." He lowered his eyes and cleared his throat. "I'm … ticklish there," he muttered.
"Get a move on, squirt!" the Joker's strained voice ordered. Amber's nose twitched again. "Nuh-uh, don't you do it." She sniffed and wiggled her nose a bit. "Quit with the cute bunny nose thing!" It was evident in her eyes that she was fighting a loosing battle. "Don't you sneeze!"
At the last possible moment, Amber turned her head away. "Achoooo!" The jolt that was accompanied with the sneeze made her feet kick out from beneath her which collided with the Joker's and threw him off balance. His arms finally called it quits and he collapsed. The air went out from Amber's lungs as the Joker's weight fell on her and somehow another sneeze managed to escape. Katherine repetitively stabbed the air with her fist in a silent victorious cheer.
A low groan leaked out of the Joker and he dragged his right arm up and cupped his chin in the palm of his hand. He looked down at her and sighed. "You just haaaad to sneeze, didn't ya, sweetheart?"
A pitiful cough was her reply.
"You up for the next round, Pamela?" Harvey asked.
"Oo! Can I play this round?" Harley bounced happily where she sat. "Whaddaya say, Red? Us girls against Harvey and who ever else plays?"
Ivy shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
"We've got three, who else?" Harvey looked around for a volunteer. "Either one of you guys?" he gestured at Tommy and Jervis. Tommy thought a moment and nodded. "Okay, we got four. Let's get read…Ahem." He pointedly stared at the Joker until he got his attention. "You plan on letting Nurse Amber up anytime soon?"
The Joker pretended to ponder on it then smirked. "Nah, I'm pretty comfy like this."
"Oh get off!" Amber wheezed. She wiggled until she slipped a hand out from under his chest and slapped his back. "Now!"
"Okay, okay; geez."
He rolled over and it turned into an acrobatic head over heels roll so that he landed on his backside and tucked in his legs like it was the easiest thing in the world. He waved a hand towards the mat. "Please, do go on," he said sarcastically.
Amber wearily picked herself up from the mat, mumbled something about a bathroom break and shuffled off towards the hall. All the activity had left her exhausted and she felt a light sheen of sweat on her brow. She should have been resting but how on earth could she do that with twelve people in her apartment. Closing the bathroom door, she eased herself onto the lip of the tub and took a minute to breath before digging out her phone from her sweater's inner pocket.
Through the door she could barely make out One Direction's 'Best Song Ever' start to play and Katherine letting out an excited whoop. The song instantly cut off. "Hey! Katlyn, stop being a jerk-face!"
Amber chuckled and dialed Dr. Arkham's number.
"Nurse Amber?"
"What's taking the police so long?"
"You haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"There was a terrible road accident involving several cars and a street light. It's causing major traffic jams all over the city."
Amber nearly slumped to the floor and called it a night right then and there. "You don't say?" she mumbled.
"Thankfully, there's no casualties, but the police are doing all they can to get to you."
"Mmmh-hmm. So in the meantime, I have to keep twelve mentally unstable people entertained until the cops arrive."
"I'm afraid so."
"Dr. Arkham, can I say something to you as a person and not as an employee."
"Go right ahead."
"This sucks and I should be getting paid for this."
A small chuff of a chuckle came through on the phone. "I don't blame you for saying so at all," he sympathized.
"I gotta go, Dr. Arkham. They'll wonder what's taking so long."
"Just hold on, Nurse Amber."
"I'll try."
She hung up and flushed the toilet. She went through the motions of washing her hands and dried them off with a towel before leaving the bathroom and making her way to the living room. The door bell rang. Amber stared at the door with raised eyebrows. She looked at the others. "Tell me you guys didn't invite friends," she begged. She went to the door and peered through the peep-hole. "Unbelievable," she murmured.
She flung open the door to reveal a pimply-faced teenage boy in bike shorts and wearing the uniform shirt of the pizzeria a couple of blocks away. In his hands he carried seven boxes of pizza. "I'm sorry it took so long," he apologized. "I couldn't use the car 'cause of the traffic so I rode my bike here."
Amber aimed a glare at the group behind her. "Which one of you ordered pizza?" No one answered. She quirked one eyebrow. "Which one of you is going to pay?"
"We've been in prison, we have no money," Dent said.
"And yet you were able to buy all these games?"
The unmarred side of Dent's forehead puckered in confusion. "What makes you think we bought them?"
The teen looked from the group to Amber. "Someone's got to pay," he said.
Amber nodded. "You heard the kid. Either you cough up the cash or I send the pizza back."
All of a sudden Dent and Jervis hopped up and were digging in their pockets.
An hour later, Amber crept off into the kitchen; not to call Dr. Arkham, but to seek a place that held some semblance of solitude. She desperately needed to rest and she hadn't had a chance to take her medicine. She felt even more miserable than she'd been that morning. Her energy reserves were depleted and the ice in her bones had returned with a vengeance. There was a space between the refrigerator and the sink cabinets where she usually kept her trash bin but it was moved into the living room at some point during the night. Amber crawled into the vacant spot and huddled within it, arms wrapped around her legs, teeth chattering from the inner cold and her skin hot to the touch. She was overcome with the urge to snuggle with something…or someone. If only she could just go lay down in her bed.
A jaunty whistle filled the kitchen and Amber fought down a whimper of disappointment. She curled further into herself, hoping to minimize her visibility from the Joker as he made his way to the fridge and opened the door. From her angle she could see him so long as he didn't lean inside the fridge. She didn't know how much of her he would see if he looked her way. Maybe the door blocked her from his sight?
He closed the door, a bottle of coke in hand, and turned to go when his eyes fell on her. The whistling stopped. Please no jokes, please don't drag me out there, please don't make fun, please, please, please…
He hunkered down and offered the coke to her. "We really ran you ragged today, didn't we, sweetheart?"
Amber warily met his eyes and glanced at the coke. She really was thirsty. Hesitantly, she reached out and took it. She unscrewed the cap and gulped some down. "It wasn't just you guys. I had a run in with some 'friends' of yours."
"Oh?"
"While I was at the pharmacy, the Creeper tried to elope with me and Batman stopped him."
"That act stealing plagiarist?"
"The very one."
"Why can't that pest just die!"
Her body ached. It ached so, so much. Couldn't she just lie down and close her eyes for five minutes?
The Joker observed her drooping eyelids, shivering body, and sluggish movements. "Sitting on this cold floor probably isn't doing you any favors, peaches."
Amber shrugged and took another swig from the coke. "Couch is taken," she mumbled.
The Joker's jaw muscle twitched but she didn't notice. "C'mon, Ambs." He stood and pulled her up with him. She gave a tiny mewl of discomfort, but hadn't the strength to resist as he took her by the hand and led her back into the living room. "Clear the sofa, guys. The sickly need their rest." She was nudged onto the cushions and he flopped into the seat next to her.
Ivy tilted her head to the side, studying Amber's appearance. She moved closer and placed a hand on Amber's forehead. "You're burning up," she noted. "You shouldn't be so active."
"Naaah, ya think?" Amber couldn't help commenting sarcastically.
"Stay here," Ivy advised and turned to enter the kitchen.
"No problem," Amber called hoarsely.
"Amber sick?" Caleb asked.
"Yeah, Caleb," she answered, laying her head on the sofa's arm rest. "I'm not feeling too good."
"Cards make Amber feel better?"
Amber's brow wrinkled. "Cards?"
"Oh yeah! The cards!" the Joker said, snapping his fingers. "Hey, firecracker," he called towards Amelia. "Where'd you put the cards?"
"In the magic carpet's bag."
"Go get it, will ya?"
Amelia jumped up and hurried away.
"What's this about a magic carpet?" Amber asked.
"Eh, don't worry about it," the Joker shushed her. When Amelia came back, she was carrying a bag made of colorful quilt patchworks. The pattern looked oddly familiar. A few splotches of red were dappled on the fabric. It looked a lot like…
"Is that blood?"
"Hush," the Joker reminded her.
Amelia dug around inside the bag and brought forth twelve handmade cards. She deposited them in Amber's lap and sat back expectantly. "Read," she ordered, smiling.
Amber couldn't help but give a light chuckle. She opened the first card and read it. By the time she'd made it to the fourth card, her eyes looked a bit moist. When she was done reading, she glanced around at her charges and felt something akin to a deep fondness for them. "Thanks, you guys. These mean a lot."
"Step aside, hot soup in my hands," Ivy announced as she emerged from the kitchen.
"I thought the fridge was empty?" Amber questioned as a soup tray was lowered onto her lap. Her nose was too stuffed up to work properly but the dish looked delicious.
"Apparently, we still have some children in our midst because your fruits and vegetables were completely untouched," Ivy remarked, casting reproachful eyes at the men in the room. Returning her gaze to Amber and the soup, she set a spoon on the tray along with a napkin. "This soup is an absolute perk-up guaranteed. But only if you eat all of it. I've measured and mixed the ingredients to exact specifications for speeding a healthy recovery, so it won't work if you take less than what's served."
Amber gently blew at a spoonful of the soup. "Sounds like you've made this a lot."
"Practice makes perfect."
Amber swallowed the soup and felt some of the day's stress melt away. It was perfect. "Ivy, this is…" Instead of speaking, she took another gulp.
Ivy smiled and waved away the unspoken compliment. "That soup won't do you much good if we keep you on your feet, so no more messing with Nurse Amber, everyone. She needs to rest."
"How about a movie? Can we at least watch a movie?" Tommy asked.
"DVDs are in the cabinets under the TV," Amber said distractedly. The soup was freakin' great.
Tommy and Harley went for the DVDs and pulled out some selections for everyone to vote on. Katherine wasn't being very cooperative though.
"I don't want to watch a movie! What about our date, Eddie?"
"It's getting rather late, kitten. Plus, that pizza boy mentioned traffic jams all over the city."
"I don't believe this. My first night out in years and you're going to skive off the opportunity to take me on a date?"
"I never said that."
"Then what gives?"
"Well, I'm not sure we'd be able to go anywhere if traffic's terrible, going on foot will risk the chance of someone recognizing me, and I'm not entirely prepared to take you on the sort of date you have in mind. I literally only have the clothes on my back."
"That's where those lock picking skills come in handy."
"Our first date doesn't have to involve crime, you know."
"Alright fine. No crime on our first date, but I still demand a romantic date with you. Candle-light dinner, snazzy suit – the works! But for now, I'll settle for sharing a private meal with you at some location away from these people. Especially the Joker."
"Squirt," the Joker responded to her jab on reflex.
"Cretin," she fired back without thought. Her eyes focused back on Nigma. "I will not be denied this, and if we can't leave the apartment, then we must go into the kitchen."
"Hmmm," Crane sounded derisively. "Nothing says 'romance' like dinner in a cramped kitchen among the whisk and spatula."
Katherine was undeterred. "The bedroom then!"
Crane's eyebrows went up. "That say's something else."
Amber quickly spoke up. "There will be no romance happening in my bedroom."
"I doubt it's seen any," the Joker muttered under his breath.
"…Yet," Katherine whispered, her gaze pointedly switching back and forth from Amber to the Joker.
Amber choked on her soup. "What was that?"
"Nothing," Katherine answered quickly. "Hey, does your apartment happen to have access to the roof?"
"Yeah."
Katherine's hand latched onto Nigma's vest. "Come on, Mr. Riddler, I've found our romantic get-away!"
The rooftop wasn't a fancy restaurant, but a there was a view of Gotham City at night, a table set up beneath a pergola with white Christmas lights threaded and wrapped around the beams, and a small cast iron fire bowl. "It's perfect!" Katherine squealed, clapping her hands. "Don't you think so, Eddie? ...Eddie?" She turned to find he was no longer with her. "Eddie?"
"Just a moment," his voice called from the stairs behind her. He came into view balancing a half finished gallon of Sprite and two glasses on top of a pizza box. "I had to fight Jervis for the last box of Meat Lover's."
Katherine laughed and took the glasses and Sprite from him. They walked to the pergola and began to set the table. Just as they were taking their seats, Katherine shifted her gaze towards a spot off to her left. "Excuse me," she said frowning. "What part of private, romantic dinner did you not understand?"
*Ahem* Right, sorry.
After finishing the soup, Amber was feeling marginally better. A blanket was tossed at her head by the Joker and she wrapped herself up, curling into a ball at the end of the sofa. The Joker, not wanting to share the remaining space with any third party, stretched himself along the length of the couch and glared daggers at Tommy when it looked like he was about to ask if he could sit with them. Tommy took the hint and plopped on the floor with the others who were using throw pillows for cushions. Amelia turned out most of the lights, leaving one table lamp on, and hoped onto a pillow next to Crane.
"Megamind wins the vote," Harley said, taking out the disc from its case and inserting it into the DVD player.
"Is there anymore popcorn?" Harvey asked.
"You ate the last of it," Amber reminded him and gave a sleepy yawn.
"Well, crud," he grumped. "What about your neighbors?"
"You are not about to knock on my neighbors door to ask for popcorn. Eat some of the pizza you and Jervis ordered."
Harvey pouted. "I want popcorn."
"Too bad."
"Ssh!" Harley hissed. "The movie's starting."
Throughout the movie, Amber would begin to drift off only to be awakened by the group's laughter at comedic scenes. Which was often. It was at the part of the movie when Roxanne Ritchie discovers that the man she's been dating is actually the super-villain Megamind in disguise that Amber could no longer keep her eyes open and fell asleep.
On the screen, Roxanne and Megamind had entered an alliance to come up with a solution to deal with the current bad guy terrorizing the city. Their efforts hadn't been successful. "So, that's it?" Roxanne was saying to Megamind. "You're just giving up?"
"I'm the bad guy!" Megamind shouted despondently. "I don't save the day! I don't fly off into the sunset! And I don't get the girl!"
The Joker's gaze strayed from the TV to Amber's sleeping form. He licked his lips thoughtfully then eased himself off the couch. He prodded Harley's leg with the toe of his shoe and ticked his head in Amber's direction when he got her attention. Harley cast a glance over her shoulder and nodded. The others were silently alerted it was time to leave. The only one who was miffed about leaving before the movie finished was Harvey but Ivy pinched him by his undamaged ear and hauled him to his feet.
They set about cleaning after themselves, packing the leftover pizza into the fridge, putting away the various games, and setting the coffee table to right. Ivy placed Amber's medicine, a box of tissues, cough drops, a bottle of water, and after a bit of a struggle with Amelia, the Vicks humidifier, and an index card with a handwritten soup recipe on the side table next to Amber.
As the Rogues filed out of the apartment, Harley noticed the Joker lingering in the living room with his hands in his pockets. "Puddin'?"
"I'm right behind ya, pumpkin. There's something I need to do first."
"But –,"
The Joker's eyes narrowed as he said through clenched teeth, "I'll be there in a minute."
Harley hesitated in the doorway, her eyes anxious but her mouth curling into a forced smile. "Sure, puddin'." It vanished when she left the room, closing the door after her.
The Joker waited a moment, listening, and then approached the sofa. He removed his hands from his pockets and leaned forward on the back of the couch, watching Amber slumber on, oblivious to the world around her. Strands of hair had fallen across her face. In the low lamp-light, her brown hair had a reddish-tint that suited her. His fingers twitched. He clenched his hands shut.
After a minute of debating, the Joker carefully reached down and brushed the strands of hair away from her face. He genuinely meant to limit the contact at that but soon he found himself lightly tracing her cheek bone with his fingertips. Anyone watching would have said he looked afraid he might break her if he applied any more pressure. When she stirred ever so slightly, the Joker quickly retracted his hand as if he'd been burned. He stared at her, a curious expression on his face as she shifted in her sleep then settled. He adjusted the blanket around her then turned and left the apartment just as the sound of police sirens were drawing near.
Five minutes later, Amber was jolted awake by a S.W.A.T team breaking down her door. When the roof was searched, Nigma and Katherine were in the middle of toasting their glasses of Sprite.
"Hands in the air! Now!"
Nigma huffed then downed his drink like a shot before lifting his hands in the air. He threw Katherine a frustrated glare. "I told you I heard sirens."
"This is Gotham! When do you not hear sirens?!"
Dr. Arkham was perplexed. The police said only two of the patients had been apprehended at Nurse Amber's apartment and no trace of the others could be found. As he, Officer Bolton, and the cops escorted Katherine and Edward Nigma back to their cells, his eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets when they discovered all of the Rogues within their cells.
"Why, Eddie, that was just plain rude of you to break you and your girlfriend out and leave the rest of us in here to die of boredom," the Joker said with a sly grin.
"How – how – how," Dr. Arkham stammered.
"'How could he?' is right, doc," Crane said. "It's downright inconsiderate."
Bolton's grip on his baton tightened until he was white knuckled. He marched right up to the glass partition of Crane's cell. "You think you're so slick, don't you? All of you do. Well, the camera feed don't lie and it's gonna show that you –,"
"Were in our cells all night," Crane interrupted.
"What?"
"Go see for yourself, why don't you? And leave us so that we can sleep in peace."
"And not stink up the place with your ogre stench," Amelia added.
The bare hint of an amused smirk quirked the corner of Crane's mouth. "You heard the lady, Lyle. Shove off."
Bolton glanced around to see who was listening. The others were preoccupied with returning Nigma and Katherine to their cells. He faced Crane and lowered his voice. "You think this is the end of it? You've got another thing coming, Scarecrow. I've got the keys to your cell, remember?"
"Bolton," Carlton's voice hailed over the radio.
Bolton stepped away from the glass and pressed the button on his walkie. "What is it?"
"The sheriff's here to see you."
"Sheriff Whatley?"
"Yep. Says he's got something for you."
"Well, tell him I'll be there in two minutes."
Bolton sneered at Crane then turned and left, passing Dr. Arkham on his way. Arkham, having over-heard the conversation between Bolton and Carlton, already knew what Sheriff Whatley had in store for the Head of Security. A manila envelope with a subpoena inside. Dr. Arkham couldn't help but smile. Looks like Mr. Wayne was able to dig up enough evidence after all.
(Phew! That's the end of that chapter! Wow, my page counter says this totaled up to forty-one pages! Yikes! Hopefully it kept your attention through it all. The next chapter's going to feature the hearing and will … *mysterious music* reveal the identity of Amber's unknown Letter Writer. Let me know what you think! Also, if you have a request or a suggestion, send me a PM or leave it in a review. I hope to get some feedback soon. Until next time, Dear Readers!)