TEDDY

To say that I'm shocked is an understatement. I'm paralyzed, in my list of things that could go wrong, certainly this wasn't listed, not that it is something bad, but I didn't expect it. I drop heavily on the bed and my tears fall silently down my temples and I let out a long, trembling sigh. "Oh my God".

"You expect it, isn't it?" The doctor asks me.

I just shake my head without turning to see her or Conrad.

"Hey Teddy, are you okay?" Conrad asks me in dismay as he caresses my hair.

"Yes, yes, it's just... I did not expect this". I answer whimpering. "I didn't expect this".

"Do you have any doubt about whether or not to continue with the pregnancy?" Dr. Schwarz asks me and I turn to see her immediately with wide eyes.

"NO! I want to continue with the pregnancy, I want my babies". I answer by wrapping my arms around my midsection. My babies. Until a few minutes ago it was my baby, singular. Now there are two. Oh God, I'm feeling all the feels at once. I'm happy, I'm scared, I'm nervous, a multiple pregnancy means more risk, I'm shocked, what will Owen say?

The young doctor gives me a soft smile and then turns her eyes to the screen and keeps pressing buttons and moving the transducer. "See this from here? We have two amniotic sacs and here is the separation which means that they are fraternal twins. It may be two boys or two girls or a boy and a girl".

In the middle of all my rollercoaster of emotions I smile widely. I'll have two babies. Owen and I will have two babies. I laugh at the irony. When Owen came to my house that night the last thing I thought was that we were going to spend the night making love, after that the last thing we both thought about was being careful, and then the last thing I thought about was getting pregnant and on top of that with twins. Go play of life.

"And are they ok? Isn't there any anomaly?"

"They seem to be in perfect condition. Placenta, yolk sac, embryos, amniotic sacs, everything. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?"

"YES!"

And when I heard those fast, but at the same time fragile heartbeats I lost it completely. I burst into tears and Conrad too. We both hugged and cried and laughed at the same time.

"I told you I was showing and you didn't believe me". I say between sobs.

"You are going to grow by day". He answers by wiping away his tears.

The examination ends and the doctor gives me good results, so far everything is fine with the babies. I leave the office immensely happy, everything is fine so now I just have to tell Owen. I keep thinking about the idea of going to Seattle, but again I remember how fragile my health has been, so I decide for the call.

I come home but I can't do it. I can't call Owen just like that, first I've to plan how I'll do it and what exactly I'll tell him. Write it down on a piece of paper if possible. This is great news and I can't risk that the nerves win me and the only thing that comes out of my mouth is gibberish.

I fall asleep thinking about my script.

"Hey, Owen, how are you? Look, it turns out that I'm pregnant with your baby".

"Hey Owen... I'm pregnant and the baby is yours, well, they're twins".

"Owen... I have to tell you something very important... I'm pregnant with twins, they're yours".

No, no, no. Nothing convinces me.

A week goes by and I still can't find the right way or time to tell Owen. Conrad is upset with me, he insists that I tell him before more time goes by, he's right, but I can't. Deep down I'm scared, I'm afraid that he doubts me and thinks that I only do this to have him back in my life. But I also know that that's just part of my fear and my crazy hormones, I know Owen, he wouldn't doubt me.

I've been locked in my office all morning; it's been a relatively quiet day. I don't want to run into Conrad, I don't want to answer his questions again. "Did you call Owen? You should do it now".

I try to distract myself with work when suddenly Conrad enters my office with a firm step and stands in front of me giving me a questioning-accusing look. I sigh.

"I know, I know. I know what you're going to tell me so better save it".

"It's not ok what you're doing, Teddy. He needs to know, or what? Will you tell him when the children are five years old?"

"Of course not! But I don't know how to do it!"

"The more time you spend thinking how you will say it the more time you will lose. Speak with your heart, you are not lying or anything, you know that he will be yes, shocked, but also happy. Just let your heart tell you what to say".

"I know myself, Conrad! I know that the moment he asks me what happens, I'll let it go, just like that, 'I'm pregnant'"

"Well, maybe it's the best thing. Pull off the band aid fast".

"Damn it, why are you always right?"

He laughs lightly and picks up the phone at my desk. "Take it, call him". I pick up the phone and he turns around to leave.

"No wait! Stay". He drags a chair and sits right next to me. "And what if he doesn't want to answer the phone?"

"He doesn't know your office number, does he?"

"I think he does, when he called me about Megan".

"Well, call for the private line".

"Yes. Yes".

Conrad takes my free hand and I mark Owen's number on the phone's keyboard with a trembling finger.

"Put on the speaker." He says to me, but before I can deny he presses the speaker button and hangs up the phone.

One ring, two, three. I tighten my grip more on Conrad's hand. I begin to feel extremely nauseous and heated, I feel that the air is missing and that the room is on fire. I want to get out of here.

"Yes?!"

A deep but feminine voice answers me with a sharp tone. I freeze. I can't speak. Conrad intervenes immediately.

"Is this Dr. Hunt's number?"

"Yes it is. Who is it and what do you want?"

"With whom am I speaking? Could you please put Dr. Hunt on the phone?"

In the background I hear a crying baby and the voice of Owen screaming, also the voice of a girl screaming, but I can't identify who they are. It doesn't seem that they are in the hospital, maybe it's Meredith's place but no other voices are heard. I watch Conrad interact with the person on the other side of the phone, I question him with my eyes and he just makes a sign with his fingers to wait.

"You're talking to Dr. Shepherd. What do you want?"

My heart stops. Amelia. She is with him again, she's answering the phone, his phone.

"I'm sorry, but I'm calling for something personal. I'll call later". Then Conrad cuts the call.

We both look at each other in shock and without saying a word. My eyes begin to fill with tears.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down! This doesn't mean anything, okay? Maybe he was busy and she answered the phone, you heard all the fuss that was heard in the background".

"But it didn't look like they were in the hospital, they were at home, Conrad!" I tell him sobbing.

"So what?"

I look at him incredulously. "So what? Conrad, he has already moved on!"

"Even if they were in bed you have to tell him. You're not doing it for him or for you, you're doing it for those babies". He tells me firmly.

I drop my back against the backrest of the chair and sigh.

"You have to call him again".

"Just... just give me a few minutes, I need to collect myself".

"Take all the time you want, honey". He tells me sweetly.

"What's wrong with him, Conrad? This is so not-him. He was here just two months ago saying he loved me and now... I... I don't understand".

"Hey little bird". He takes me by the hand. "We don't know if they are together or not, they are friends. What if it was a party or something?"

"Whatever". I say wiping my tears. "I've to tell him, I don't care what he decides to do next, I'll do my part".

"That's what I'm talking about, Major!"

I take the phone again and re-dial the number. After a couple of rings someone answers.

"Yes?" It's a female voice again, but it's not Amelia.

"I'm sorry, who is it? I need to talk to Dr. Hunt".

"Who calls him?"

"Oh, it's… can you put it on the phone, please? It is important".

"Are you Teddy Altman?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, who are you?"

The person on the other side of the phone is silent. Conrad looks at me questioningly and I just shrug, I don't know what's going on. Again. After a few seconds that seem hours to me again noises are heard from the other side.

"Hey... are you still there? Can you please contact Dr. Hunt? It is urgent".

"I'm sorry but I can't. He doesn't want to talk to you and asked me to please tell you not to bother him again".

Then she hangs up the phone. I can feel my whole body tremble and my tears accumulate in my eyes. Without saying a word to Conrad I get up from my seat and run to the bathroom where I fall on my knees in front of the toilet and vomit violently while I cry.

"Calm down, calm down." Conrad kneels next to me rubbing my back. After a few minutes I sit heavily on the floor and cry bitterly. "What happened?" He asks me worried while he gives me a wet cloth and a glass of water.

"He… I…". I can't talk, all I do is cry. Conrad takes me in his arms and I keep crying for what seems like hours until my cries turn to sobs.

"What happened? What did Owen tell you?"

"I didn't even talk to him... he... he doesn't want to talk to me, he doesn't want me to bother him again, it's over Conrad".

I get up off the floor and wash my face and stare at my reflection. What did I do? What did I do to make Owen treat me like this? Was he that upset about everything I told him? I know it is harsh, but at least he could've told me in person and not put someone else to tell me. I feel lost, I don't know what to do. I'm pregnant, with twins no less and Owen doesn't want to know anything about me. Suddenly I feel alone, like a boat aimlessly drifting, I don't know where to go, I don't know what to say, what to do, what to think. I feel empty.

Out of nowhere the thought of ending the pregnancy comes to my mind, I feel guilty to even consider it for a few seconds. That would put me back in the game, cut with every tie that joins me to Owen once and for all, starting from scratch. But I can't, I don't want to, I won't do it, much less after having seen my two teeny-tiny babies inside me, listening to their tiny hearts, so fragile, but so powerful... I never would.

So this is it. I'll be a single mother of twins. The thought terrifies me. I don't know if I'll be able to do it…