TEDDY
I wake up with a cold sensation all over my body, I open my eyes and I realize that I've fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room and outside is snowing. I hear the voices of Henry, Allison and Conrad in the kitchen; they're making breakfast. I look at my wristwatch, it's almost noon.
"Uncle Conrad, is that man Mom's boyfriend?" I hear Allison asking Conrad.
Last night was... interesting. Intense, hundreds of emotions flew through the walls of this house, from anger and frustration, to forgiveness and love, forgetfulness is what may never come. I don't know if Owen and I will be able to forget everything we had to go through because of a lie. I tried to understand that girl's reasons to have lied, I really tried, I tried to forgive her, but I can't, even the knowledge that she already lies 3 meters underground doesn't help me to do it, it doesn't matter if she is alive or dead, the past is the past and we can't change it, still I can't forgive her.
But now all we can do is look to the future and that's what Owen and I decided to do last night, slowly, for the children, but together.
"He was giving mommy a kiss in the mouth." I hear Henry adding. "Couples kiss each other in the mouth."
"Well... I don't know, kiddos. You'll have to ask Mom about that." Conrad answers, clearly distressed.
"You're talking about me?" I ask, sitting up to save Conrad from an uncomfortable situation.
"MOMMY!" My kids run to me and throw themselves into my arms. I hug them tightly and kiss their heads. Their lives are about to change and they still don't know it, they are about to meet their father, I'm so scared and excited at the same time. Henry already had 3 different encounters with him and Allison saw not the best of him. I'm afraid they'll reject him, but I know Owen will know how to win their hearts.
"My babies, I love you so much."
"Mommy, uncle Conrad and we are preparing everything for New Year's dinner." Allison says, enthusiastically.
"Really? And what do you have prepared?"
"Nothing". Henry answers with a shrug and I laugh.
"Nothing?!"
"Hey!" Conrad exclaims defensively. "I was waiting for you to wake up, for now I've a list of a few things!"
"Mommy... Will that man come tonight?" Henry asks me.
Conrad and I share a knowing look. I sigh.
"He... he... he will come."
"Why?!" Allison complains.
"He will come because he's a person that I want you to meet."
"He's your boyfriend?" Henry asks me, in a low voice.
"No, he's not my boyfriend, but he's someone very special and I want you to meet him, okay?"
Henry nods and Allison rolls her eyes.
"Ok, kiddos!" Conrad says to catch the kids' attention. "Why don't you go to change to go buy everything for tonight?"
"YES!" They shout in unison and run to their respective rooms.
"Actually Conrad... Why don't you go alone? I've to talk to the kids."
"Oh, right" Conrad exclaims knowingly and sits next to me on the sofa. "But, are you going to tell me now what happened last night? How is it that you kissed him?!" He asks me in a gossiping tone, I roll my eyes trying to contain the smile.
"Nothing happened! And it was more complex than just a kiss... Conrad... he was telling the truth, all this was the just a lie." Tears start to pool in my eyes. He looks at me sympathetically and places his hand on my thigh. "I don't know how we'll continue after this, I don't know how the children are going to take it, I don't know if there could be anything between us, nothing prepared me for this moment. For me he was the past, a past I didn't want to remember, a past I hated but I loved at the same time... and now, I realize that all that hatred and resentment was based on a lie and makes me feel so bad, Conrad, he tried to find me dozens of times, but I blocked all communication with him, I changed my phone number, my email... and now... I love him, Conrad, maybe I never stopped loving him, but I don't know how to continue now."
"Oh, honey... right now it doesn't matter what you should've done or what you did, right now what matters is what you're going to do. You can't cry for the past, remember what happened the last time you did it, now what you both have to do is look to the future, you have two children, you can't slow down now."
"I know! It's just... it's scary, you know? I've to talk to the children about him, introduce them to him, I've to talk to him about the children, I've to tell him about Henry's condition... it's too much!"
"It's too much, but think that now you'll have him too, it might sound terrifying, but it's not, the kids will have a father and maybe you and Owen will have a chance in love."
I smile sweetly, Conrad always has the right words. He has always been my lifesaver from the moment I met him, always carrying me, just as Allison did in her time, sometimes I think she was who put him on my way, to carry me in her absence. "You're right".
He smiles at me and hugs me tightly. "Now tell me, did you bang him against the wall?"
I can't help laugh out loud. "Conrad! Can you take this seriously?!"
"I do! But honey, we know you need it. Tell me you didn't think it, come on, lie to me and tell me you didn't."
"You are unbearable!" I scold him, laughing.
"Come on, come on!"
"I-I-I ... I did it, ok? happy?"
He laughs. "I knew it! I've to say in person he's more attractive than in photographs... Is he good?"
I smile mischievously at him. "We made twins from one night... you guess".
"Theodora Altman! Your dirty girl... I like it tho!"
"How long do you think it would be prudent to wait for... you know?"
"Oh darling, with that man if I were you, I'd be between his sheets already."
"I'm serious! I don't want to seem too desperate but I don't want to seem like I don't feel anything for him either!"
He looks at me squinting. "The last time you hooked up as soon as you opened that door after years without seeing each other... Just go for it! Stop thinking about the past, make it up for the lost time."
I don't have time to answer when the children come running back to the living room.
"We're ready, uncle Conrad!" Allison exclaims cheerfully.
"Can we go for ice cream?!" Henry asks
"Ice cream? Isn't all the snow out there enough?!" Conrad laughs slightly, Henry shows him a huge smile. "Kiddos, I'm afraid we'll have to go shopping another day." Their little faces fall.
"Why?!" They ask.
"I've something important to do". Conrad answers, not giving away the real reason.
"But the three of us will go for cake and hot chocolate. What do you say?!" I intervene and the children smile again.
I take a shower and I dress in record time, I take the children's coats and mine and together we go to Sander's Café. I'm so anxious about how I'll start the conversation. It's something huge. It's their father and although they never asked about him and Conrad is an incredible father figure, I want them to know their blood-father, we all deserve it, it wasn't anyone's fault.
We order delicious pastries and hot chocolate, the children are happy and play with each other. I look at them; I wonder what their lives would've been like if Owen had been there since the first day. Would Henry have the same problems with social adaptation? Would Allison be so bold and protective of us? Would we live here in Germany? Owen and I would be married? Would we have more children? Those and more questions that are not worth doing anymore, as Conrad said, I can't change the past, but I can change the future and I want a future with my family, my children and Owen.
"Children, look at me!" I say to get their attention. "I've something very important to tell you." They leave food and games and look at me with expectant eyes. I take them by the hand and they hold hands too. They know that I'll say something important. "Remember how I've always told you that lies are very bad, isn't it?"
"Yes, mommy!" They answer in unison.
"Well..." I sigh. "A few years ago, there was a man, a man that I loved very, very much, and he loved me too, we still have big feelings for each other, we went through many things together, he was my best friend, he is my best friend and he… we, on a very, very special night we made you two and—"
"Our father". Allison interrupts me. "You're talking about our father, right?"
I look at her swallowing the lump in my throat. "Yes, baby, I'm talking about your father."
"Is that man?" Henry asks a little scared and I give them a little hand squeeze.
"Listen to me, babies. Yes, that man is your father." I can't explain the feeling when I see their faces in amazement. "His name is Owen, Owen Hunt and—"
"But he left us!" Allison says, clearly upset.
"No, no honey, listen to me—"
"He was shouting at you, Mommy." Henry adds.
"I said listen to me, okay?!" I say, sounding harsher than I expected, but they shut up and look at me warily. "Owen, your father... he didn't leave us, he didn't know that you were born until that day he saw us at the airport. And do you know why?" They shake their heads. "Because of a lie." They open their eyes wide.
"He told you a lie?" Henry asks.
"No, it was another person, and that person lied to me and told me that dad didn't love me, but it wasn't true, dad loved me and still loves me, but I believed that lie and I was very sad and I didn't tell dad about you two."
"And why did you believe that person and not him?" Allison asks me and leaves me speechless. She is right. Why did I believe in someone else? Why didn't I call again? Why didn't I try again, and again, and again to talk to him? Again the questions about the past are pointless.
"But... Why was he shouting at you?" Henry asks me.
"Because of the lie... I shouted at him too and told him a lot of ugly things, but then dad and I talked, we talked for a long, long time and we told each other many things and cleared everything. Dad and I were very sad, and angry, but at the same time very happy because finally after many years we learned the truth."
"Will he live with us now?" Allison asks, cautiously.
"I don't know, we still have many, many things to talk about, but... what we want first is for you to meet him. Would you like to meet him?" They share a look and then they look at me and shrug. "If you don't want or want to wait a little longer I'll tell him and he'll understand. We just want you to be happy."
"He's going to scream again?" Henry asks, frowning.
"No baby, he's not going to scream, but he's probably going to cry... he already loves you so much and really wants to meet you."
"Ok mommy, I want to meet him." Henry answers, but Allison remains silent, thoughtful.
"Allison? What do you say, love?" She just shrugs again. I feel that with Allison it won't be as easy as with Henry, but I trust that Owen will know how to get to her.
"Can he come to dinner tonight?" Henry asks, with a shy smile. "Do you think he likes legos and puzzles?" I can't help but laugh.
"I'm sure he'll love legos and puzzles, my love."
Allison still doesn't say anything, she plays with her fork crumbling her piece of cake, scattering it all over the plate.
"Sweetie". I say, taking her little hand. "If you don't want he won't come home tonight."
"No!" Henry exclaims. "I want him to come, please Allison, say yes!" Allison smiles almost forcefully and nods.
OWEN
The minutes and hours go by painfully slowly, after I left Teddy's house, almost at 4 in the morning I went to find a hotel, but I couldn't sleep at all. Everything that had happened only the previous day was still playing in my head. The airport, seeing Teddy after years, the children, realizing they're my children, fly to Germany, get to Teddy's house, our first fight, then our kiss, that kiss that left me breathless, and the hours that we spent talking after that.
"What will we do now?" Teddy asked, with panic in her voice.
"We'll figure it out with time. We have a long way to go, but now I'm here and I won't go anywhere, I'll stay here with you, with our children."
"I can't believe it... I can't believe we live in a lie. I can't believe that I didn't trust you even knowing you... I'll never forgive myself."
"We both made mistakes."
"I love you so much Owen, I never, never stopped loving you."
"Me neither... deep down the only thing that kept me alive was to think that one day maybe I would see you again, it was as if my heart knew it, as if it knew that in fact I would see you again".
"And now I'll never let you go." Teddy told me to then kiss me deeply.
"I want us to be a family." I said whispering against her soft lips that I missed so much.
"Me too, but first I want the children to know you."
"I want them to know me too... Teddy, I love them, even though I've only seen them a couple of times and I already love them with all my heart and I will do everything possible to earn their love."
"I'm sure they'll love you... Henry, well, I told you about him, he's shy, but he will love you, I can almost swear it... and Allison... Allison is a bit difficult, but I've faith she'll love you in time."
"I still can't believe you named them Allison and Henry."
She gave me a look of disbelief. "What did you expect? To name them Owen and Amelia?" She responded defensively. I laughed lightly and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
"Of course I didn't... I love those names and I know how much they mean to you."
"Come tonight to dinner... we'll have a New Year's dinner, only the children, Conrad, a friend and I".
"Really?"
"Yes, it can be a good opportunity for you to meet the children and Conrad. It would mean the world to me that you two get along. So, you come?"
I just kissed her on the lips.
I walk from one side of the room to the other. I went to buy some clothes since my luggage still didn't arrive in Frankfurt, I was fully dressed, combed and perfumed to go to Teddy's house... only that there were still 3 hours left for the time she told me I should be there. I debate whether to go now or not, I can go under the excuse of helping with dinner, but I don't want to impose my presence on my time especially if we are doing everything at the children's time. I risk sending a text to Teddy.
"What are you doing? I'm very anxious, I can't wait to see them. Is it imprudent if I go to your house now?"
Teddy takes a little to answer, but when she does, it's no problem, in fact they need an extra set of hands in the kitchen. Without thinking twice, I take my coat and leave the hotel. On the way I buy a bottle of wine for dinner and some cookies for the children.
When I get home Teddy opens the door, receiving me with a smile. Inside Conrad and another man seem busy in the kitchen and the kids are nowhere to be seen.
"Hey." Teddy greets me, sweetly.
"Hey." We both remain silent, looking at each other shyly. "I brought this for dinner and this for the kids." I say by giving her the bottle of wine and the bag of cookies to break the ice.
"Thank you! The kids will love the cookies! They love cookies from this place. But come on, come on, we can use an extra set of hands in the kitchen." I come in timidly, heading to the kitchen.
"Hey, Owen!" Conrad greets me.
"Hey." I greet him back with a tense smile.
"Come, I want you to meet someone, he's Jacob Schmidt. Jacob, he's Owen... Teddy's friend."
"Actually, Jacob." Teddy interferes. "He is the twins' father." She adds, standing next to me.
"Oh, then you are Owen!" Jacob exclaims and glances at Teddy and Conrad. Apparently I'm famous among them and I don't doubt it, only that I feel that I'm famous not for the right reasons. Teddy notices my tension and puts her hand on my shoulder.
"Don't worry, they already know everything."
"Yes, Owen, don't worry!" Conrad says. "We're not going to flay you as a New Year ritual, you can rest easy." Then he takes a drink of his glass of white wine and goes back to the stove to check on the stew he was working on when I arrived.
"Wine?" Jacob offers me.
"Please". I answer and sit down on a stool by the kitchen island and Teddy sits next to me. Flashbacks of this island come to my mind, Teddy sitting on it, me between her legs, a chill runs down my back.
"Where are the children?" I ask Teddy.
"Asleep, it's time for their nap, besides they're still jetlagged."
"Oh" I answer, a little disappointed.
"They'll be awake soon, don't worry. Also, I already told them about you."
I just smile nervously at her.
We settle into a nice talk. Conrad asks me a hundred questions, he seems like a good guy and although at first I felt jealous of him, as soon as I saw him give a quick kiss to Jacob on the lips I understood everything. Teddy gave me a mischievous smile, she knew I was jealous of Conrad, now I know my jealousy had no foundations.
We keep talking, I learn that Conrad and Teddy have known each other for years, since she came to live here in Germany, he's head of plastic surgery at the Regional Medical Center and the kids call him Uncle Conrad. Jacob is an engineer, works for a very important German automotive brand, he has been with Conrad for 2 years, loves the twins and they're always playing pranks on him.
"Picture this. I came to a meeting, a dozen of the most important people in the automotive plant were there, I opened my briefcase and an insane amount of confetti came out of it!" Jacob tells us laughing.
"What?!" I exclaim, laughing hysterically. "Why?! Who did—?!"
"Allison!" Teddy, Conrad and Jacob respond in unison.
"Allison put all that confetti in my briefcase! When? I don't know. But I'll never forget the face of all those people!"
"That girl is a serious case." Conrad says, with a warning tone.
I look at Teddy with longing eyes, I want to see the children. She smiles at me and rests her head on my shoulder.
About an hour later we hear noises in the next room, apparently the children are awake. My blood freezes and I turn to look at Teddy with despair. The moment has come.
"You know what? I think we'll go for more cheese and champagne." Conrad says, clearly to leave us alone, we've enough cheese and champagne for the whole night.
"Yeah, I think that too." Jacob answers. They both take their coats and leave the house, leaving Teddy and me alone to talk to the children.
"Don't be afraid". Teddy places her hand on my cheek. "It may seem scary and maybe it'll be hard for them to warm to you, but you'll see that with time it'll be as if you had been there since the first days". She tells me sweetly and I can see in her eyes that tears could fall at any moment, then she turns around and gets lost behind a door that I think is the room of one of the twins.
I can hear how they talk and laugh, then I don't hear anything. I start to feel suffocated, I take a few seconds to calm down, I take a mint to my mouth, I don't want children to smell the alcohol of wine on my breath, I look in the mirror, I look exhausted, I practice my smile, I fix my hair.
"Owen." Teddy's voice surprises me. She brings the children holding hands, Henry looks at me timidly but not Allison, she looks at me defiantly and a chill runs down my back.
I take some tentative steps towards them, Teddy kneels in the middle of them, getting to their level and I do the same, about 3 meters away from them.
"Kids... he... he's Owen and..." Teddy is doing everything possible to contain the tears. "He... he is your dad."
"Hi." Henry tells me timidly, lying his head on Teddy's shoulder.
"Hi, little guy... Mommy told me that you love legos and puzzles, I love puzzles too, do you think one day we can put one together?"
"Yeah." He answers me with a shy smile, biting his lips and adjusting his huge glasses on the bridge of his small nose.
"Allison? You won't say anything?" Teddy asks Allison, kissing her on the head and combing her long hair.
"Can I go back to my room?" My heart breaks into a thousand pieces.
"Allison, say hello—"
"No, Teddy, it's okay!" I hurry to say.
She sighs and I can see the sadness and disappointment in her eyes too. "Okay, you can go back to your room."
"Where are uncle Conrad and Jacob?" Allison asks.
"They will be here soon."
The girl just nods and turns around and goes to her room closing the door behind her.
"She is like that". Little Henry says, shrugging innocently.
"Baby, do you think you can give Daddy a hug?" Teddy asks the boy.
He looks at me tentatively and after a few seconds he just shakes his head looking at the floor.
"It's okay, it's ok champ. Look, I brought cookies!" I say to distract him, going to the kitchen island to grab the bag of cookies I had bought for him and Allison. "Do you want some?"
He nods. Although it makes me immensely sad that Henry didn't want to give me a hug I fully understand him, first of all I'm practically a stranger and our previous encounters were not the best, and Teddy briefly told me about his problems to function properly in society and his anxiety issues so that he is talking to me is a huge step so at the same time it makes me feel proud of him considering how difficult it is for him to meet new people, especially if said new people is his father.
Henry takes the bag of cookies and takes only two. "I'll keep the rest for Allison, uncle Conrad and Jacob." He says and then closes the bag of cookies and gives it to Teddy.
"You can have them all." I tell him, encouraging him to take more. It's two dozen cookies!
"No, they're Allison's favorites, she'll want a lot."
"You can have all you want, baby." Teddy says. Henry takes another three cookies with a playful smile. "Why don't you show dad your new set of Legos?"
"YES!" Exclaims the little boy and I can't help but smile widely. "It's Woody's Roundup, uncle Conrad bought it from me at Disneyland!"
"Really?!" I say with enthusiasm. "Then bring it on, let's build that set."
The little boy runs to the room in front of Allison's
"I can't believe it". Teddy says in a trembling voice. "He doesn't look like him, he had never been this open to new people."
I take her in my arms and hug her tightly. "And it will be better every time, you'll see, I'll help him, I'll help you, we're a family now."
"I'm still sad for Allison, I swear to you that she is not like that, much, but—"
"Teddy, it's okay, I understand. I'm sad too, but I understand, it must be very shocking for her, let's just give her time."
"I love you, Owen." She says and just as we are about to kiss Henry comes out with his box of Legos and his Sheriff Woody doll.
He looks at us timidly, but this time he doesn't look scared. "Here it is". He says, with a smile.
"Ok, let's do it!" I answer.
We sit on the floor of the living room to start putting together the set of legos on the coffee table. Shortly after Conrad and Jacob come back, Teddy tells Conrad about what happened with Allison and he goes to her room, after a few minutes they come out, but she's still distant with me and throws me glances that, although they are not fulminant, it is clear that she's analyzing me, I smile at her every time our eyes meet and she looks away.
Teddy gives me encouraging smiles, Henry shows himself more and more at ease and open towards me, although he still doesn't tell me dad, I don't expect him to do it either, he gives me occasional taps on my arms to point out things to me. Allison looks at us sitting on the sofa, pretending to watch a movie on the iPad when she actually looks at Henry and me all the time.
"That piece doesn't go there." Allison says, out of the blue.
I knew that, I also knew that she was watching me closely, I only did it to see if I caused any reaction in her and I clearly did it. "Really? Here it says—"
"It's the wrong piece."
"Can you point me where it goes?" I ask, tentatively. She gets up from the sofa, but doesn't come too close.
"It's that piece." She points with her index finger at one of the pieces.
"Right! Thanks! Do you want to play with us?"
She shrugs. Teddy, Conrad and Jacob look at us from the kitchen, in silence and expectant.
"Allison doesn't like legos." Henry points out.
"I do like them! Tell him I like them, mommy!"
"You never want to play legos with me!" Henry argues back.
"Who doesn't like legos?" I intervene. "I love legos."
"I love legos too." Conrad adds from the kitchen.
"Me too". Jacob says.
Then Teddy. "Same!"
"We all love legos, legos are love." I say and offer Allison a piece "Do you want to join us?"
She looks at me shyly, but takes the piece, however, she kneels in front of the table on the opposite side of me. Henry directs everything, he tells us where and how to put the pieces, Allison and I follow him, minutes later I manage to make them laugh. I can see that Teddy looks at us from the kitchen. She brings a tray with the cookies I had brought and cups of hot chocolate. Allison devours a lot of the cookies in minutes.
Then Teddy, Conrad and Jacob join us in the living room, we all talk while I keep building the set of legos with the children and they rest comfortably on the sofas with their glasses of red wine. The night is pleasant, then we go to the dining room, Henry insists that I sit next to him. The dinner is delicious and the conversation is the same, we all laugh, it's perfect. Everything seems out of a fantasy, until barely 36 hours ago I was completely devastated and now I was here with all these people, with Teddy, my Teddy and our children and I had also made two new friends, Conrad and Jacob. I wouldn't have imagined it in my wildest dreams.
The kids can't stay awake until midnight. By 10:00 pm they are already sound asleep. Before going to sleep they said goodbye to me with a little wave and a smile, there was still no hug or dad, but at least Allison no longer looked at me as if she wanted to kill me and Henry seemed to be having the time of his life with me. The rest will come later.
Teddy, Conrad, Jacob and I go back to the living room and talk until midnight. We count down, Conrad and Jacob kiss when the clock strikes 12:00am, Teddy and I look at each other like shy teenagers until we can't keep it anymore, we hug and kiss long and slowly until we are forced to take a breath.
"Happy New Year." I whisper, millimeters away from her face.
"Happy New Year." She answers me, with a huge smile.
The four of us keep talking until late at night, at almost 4:00am Conrad and Jacob say goodbye, it was a beautiful soiree. Teddy and I are relatively alone at home, since children sleep in their rooms.
"So... it was a great night." Teddy says.
"It was".
We both remain silent, nervous, no one knows what to do or what the next movement should be. Teddy moves from side to side nervously, scratching the back of her neck, biting her lips. I take a few seconds to admire her properly. She wears a beautiful and tight emerald green dress that goes down to the middle of her thighs, a pronounced V-neck, her brunette hair perfectly stylized, I still find it strange to see her with short brown hair, but she looks stunning.
"Where are you staying?" She asks me.
"At the Schlo... something, I don't even know how to pronounce it." I answer, chuckling.
"At the Schlosshotel Landstuhl". She answers back with her fluid german.
"Yes, that one!"
"It's a beautiful place."
"Yeah." Silence again. Outside it has started to snow, I've flashbacks of that night, the windows begin to fog, the pink blanket is still in the same place, the fire in the chimney dances slowly, there is a bottle of champagne on the kitchen island...
"A drink before you leave?" Teddy asks me to break the silence.
"Yeah, that'd be nice!"
She serves two glasses of champagne, gives me one and goes to sit on the couch next to the window.
"I really learned to love this place." She says, looking at the snow thoughtfully. "After the twins were born I didn't want to leave this place, too many memories to leave them behind."
I sit next to her. "And we will fill this place with more memories, good memories."
She sighs and looks at me with watery eyes. "Tell me I'm not dreaming, that tomorrow I'm not going to wake up and all this will be gone."
"I should ask you the same... all this seems like a dream, but it's not, this is real, I'm here." I take her hand in mine. She places her glass in the window, takes mine and places it there too. Then she takes my face in her hands and kisses me gently, with the softness of a first kiss. I bring her closer to me, I can feel her body shiver under my touch.
She cuts the kiss and looks me in the eyes, I can see the world in her eyes, I can read all her questions just by looking her in the eyes, they're the same questions that I've been asking myself since I came here. I kiss her back, but this time more passionately, she clings to the collar of my shirt and I to her hips. Without breaking the kiss, she gets up and pulls me up with her.
Slowly she leads us to her room, once there we stop. I look around, everything is exactly the same, the bed, the big headboard, the sofa next to the bed, the huge closet, her pile of books in the corner, the other couch by the window. But now there are pictures on the wall and on her nightstands, pictures of the twins and her.
"Sleep with me." She asks me in a sigh. "Be with me."
She asks me in a way that I can't say no, I've dreamed of this for years, I've dreamed of this since I left this place almost five years ago.
I don't say anything, I just kiss her. She jumps on me wrapping her legs around my hips and her arms around my neck, I take her by the butt and crash her against the door causing her to moan softly.
Then I take her to the bed and place her there softly, hovering her whole body, running her long, soft legs with my hands. I get rid of my pants and my shirt, then I get rid of her nude pumps and I help her sit up to unzip her dress, she stands up and drops it to the floor. We are both just in underwear, looking at each other with all the repressed lust of the last years.
"I... I haven't been with anyone since that night." She tells me, so, so softly, as if she were ashamed, but the one ashamed is me. I would like to say that I didn't either, but I was with Amelia a few times and now I regret it so much, I should've looked for Teddy instead of wasting my time with her.
We make love as I've never done it in my life, a thousand times better than that first time we were together, a thousand times more gentle, a thousand times more intimate, a thousand times more lovingly. Everything is smooth and unhurried. Our bodies move as if we had done this just that morning and not five years ago. We fit perfectly. Our words are meaningful. Our heartbeats in synchrony. We come at the same time. I beg again for her forgiveness. She cries in my arms. We tell each other we love each other. We fall deeply asleep in each other's arms…