OWEN
"I… I am pregnant."
My mind is working at full speed, I can't formulate a single sentence. I want to pinch myself, am I dreaming?
"WHAT?!" I shout.
"What?" She repeats, a little shocked by her own words.
"You-you- you said you are pregnant."
"What?! No, I didn't! I said I think."
"No, you said 'Owen, I am pregnant'" I repeat her words with a smile on my lips.
"I-I-I don't know, I mean, I think? Yes, that, I think I'm pregnant."
I get up from my seat and start pacing in front of her. Henry and Allison are still sound asleep. Teddy looks at me expectantly, biting her lips and frowning. Ok, she thinks she is pregnant, that is, not yet confirmed. Calm down Hunt. I sit down next to her and take her hands. Her shaking hands.
"Ok, let's calm down." I tell her, but the huge smile on my lips betrays that I'm anything but calm. "You think they're pregnant?" She exhales shakily. "Ok, let's go outside."
I get up and take her hand, together we leave the room and sit on the sofas in the waiting lounge.
"Owen, I... I think I'm pregnant. I mean, I have all the symptoms. Headache, nausea, tiredness, my breasts are tender, I'm late… all the symptoms."
I want to cry and laugh at the same time. I want to hold her and twirl her in the air. I want to run through the corridors of the hospital screaming that I'll be a father again. I want to go out to the streets of Zurich to shout to the people my happiness.
"I assume you still don't take a test." She shakes her head biting her lower lip. I release it from between her teeth with my thumb and I give her a soft kiss. "Okay. Okay. Okay. What do we do now?" I ask myself.
"I think there's a pharmacy across the street, maybe it's still open."
"Yes! Let's go for a test then." I say.
We ask a nurse if she can keep an eye on the twins and Teddy and I go to the pharmacy for the test. We walk holding hands, our hands sweat and our bodies tremble. None says a single word.
Once back with the pregnancy test, Teddy goes to the bathroom and I wait outside. I look at my children still asleep, ignorant of what is happening around them. They don't know that they are about to become big siblings.
My heart beats fast, Teddy is taking too long. I give a soft knock on the door. "I'm coming!" She answers me. Minutes later she leaves the bathroom.
"We have to wait a few minutes." She informs me and takes a seat, letting out a trembling sigh. I sit next to her.
"Hey, this is good!" I say, softly.
"I know, I know... but... I can't help but think about the last time." Her voice shakes and the tears pool in her green eyes.
"Hey, Teddy, look at me!" I take her chin, forcing her to look at me. "This isn't like last time. This time everything is different. This time we are together, without lies and we love each other. And if I'm not shouting through the corridors or the rooftops with happiness it's because I'm afraid that security will kick me out of the hospital."
She laughs softly and wipes away the tears with her hand. I bring her in my arms, placing her head in my chest, holding her there with my hand while I stroke her soft brown hair.
"I think it's time." She says, after a few minutes. She gets up and goes to the bathroom for the test. She brings it wrapped in her hand
"And?!" I ask her, excited.
She sits next to me. Slowly she opens her hand showing the test and my heart not only stops, it also breaks. Negative.
Teddy bursts into tears and drops the test to the marble floor. I hug her again and comfort her. When I see her cry, I can't help but cry too. Our dream collapsed in an instant.
"I'm sorry!" She hiccups. I take her face in my hands.
"You have nothing to apologize for. You hear me? These things happen. This was a negative, but we can try again, okay?"
"I really wanted to have another baby, another baby of yours." She cries softly.
"And we will. We'll have another baby."
"It's just... I don't understand, I've had all the symptoms."
"Maybe it was stress. You've been very stressed with everything about Henry. But now that he's fine we can look for that baby."
"Yes, I want that!"
"I want that too." I kiss her and then cuddle her in my arms and place her legs in my lap, as if she were a little girl. We both fell asleep that way.
TEDDY
After the fiasco with my supposed pregnancy, I put that on the back of my head and turn all my attention to Henry and his recovery. At the beginning it's very difficult, he complains constantly about the pain in his head incision, the medications keep him constantly groggy, he barely eats and when he isn't sleeping he is crying. At the same time Allison asks us for attention, maybe not with words, but with actions. Tantrums, constant tantrums. It's their birth and those months in the NICU all over again.
Luckily this time I've Owen and between the two of us we take turns with each one. While one stays in the hospital with Henry, the other takes Allison for a walk around the city. When I realize it's been two weeks since Henry's surgery and two weeks since my fiasco.
In hindsight, seeing how things have turned out and how difficult it has been Henry's recovery, I feel a little relieved that I'm not pregnant. I don't know if I could've dealt with all this. But at the same time I can't help feeling sad, I really wanted another baby with Owen. I really want another baby with Owen.
He tried hard to dissimulate, but I know he was sad and disappointed too. I'm still disappointed in myself, what if I'm too old to have a baby? I'm 45, almost 46. It would be almost impossible to get pregnant without some fertility treatment. Owen said he was willing to do everything for us to have another baby, and I'm willing to do everything too, but it doesn't stop hurting, I don't know how long a treatment will take, stupidly I already counted on this "pregnancy", I had all the symptoms! I was late, breast tenderness, slight cramping, headache, nausea. Some of which I still have, but Owen is right, it's just stress. Stress that has only increased with Henry's recovery.
A week later we all go back home. The spirits have improved considerably. Henry is starting to be his old self again, the same Allison. We all are happy. We are family.
"Don't take me wrong, but I'm so grateful that all this is over." Owen sighs, letting himself fall on the bed after putting Henry and Allison down to sleep. I lay next to him and place my head on his chest.
"Me too. Finally, everything is over. What I'm not happy about is that tomorrow I've to go back to work. I'll miss my babies."
"I'll take care of them while I get a job."
"Work for me. The position is open."
"You will hate me, but…" He brings me closer to him and kisses the top of my head. "I'd like to spend a few more weeks with the twins before going back to work."
"It's not crazy. It's what you deserve."
I kiss him on the chest and then I hug him tighter as he runs his hand up and down my side, making me feel sleepy until minutes later we both fall deeply asleep.
OWEN
It's my first day at home alone with the twins, Teddy went back to work and Allison went to school; Henry still has a few more days off. At first I was scared, I had never been alone with them for so long, Teddy had always been there all the time.
I took care of making and giving them breakfast, getting Allison ready to drop her off to school and hours later pick her up. She didn't stop showing off to all the kids that I was her dad and that only made me feel so proud.
Then I decided to take them out for lunch, hours later we went back home to make dinner so that it would be ready when Teddy was home. However, there was no time for that.
Just when I was in the middle of making dinner, Conrad came to the house to tell me I had to go to the hospital, Teddy needed me, she was in the ER. I almost didn't have time to say goodbye to the children when I ran to the hospital.
I came to the hospital and I found her there, lying on a hospital bed, dressed in a hospital gown while a nurse was taking her blood pressure.
"Teddy, what happened?!" I am truly worried. Teddy looks weak, but she still smiles. Classic Teddy to not worry me.
The nurse finishes taking her blood pressure, puts it down on her chart and leaves, closing the curtain of Teddy's cubicle.
"Honey, what happened? I was so scared when Conrad told me you were here!"
"It was nothing. Stress."
"Stress?"
"Yeah, stress. Oh, and..." She takes my hand and places it on her belly. "And a baby."
"You're kidding." I say, in a sigh of amazement.
"Blood tests don't give false negatives."
I look at her for a few seconds while our eyes fill with tears. Then we join in a tight hug. She was pregnant all this time.
"We are having a baby!" I exclaim, cupping her face soaked in tears.
"We are."
Again I swallow my cry of happiness since we are in the ER. I take Teddy again and I hug her, and I kiss her and I thank her. And we laugh, and we cry and laugh again.
"How far along are you? Have they already done an ultrasound? How do you feel? How's the baby?" I bombard her with questions making her laugh.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. A little blood pressure drop, that's all. According to my calculations I'm 6 or 7 weeks along, but it's not 100% sure yet, I still don't get an ultrasound, I want you to be there when I do that."
"Oh, my God!" I kiss her again. "I love you. I love you. I love you so much." I repeat again and again between kisses.
Later that night, we head back home with an appointment for the OB-GYN within 3 days. We are ecstatic. We can't stop kissing and touching us all the way home. A soft kiss on the hand, a caress on the nape, on the neck, a rub on her belly, on her thighs.
When we arrive the children are already asleep and Conrad is waiting impatiently for us. However, we decided not to tell him anything yet, we want it to be perfect when we tell our family and friends.
"How will we tell the twins? I'm afraid they will not take it well." Teddy expresses her concerns to me that same night while we both lie in bed before sleep.
"They will be thrilled." I try to cheer her up.
"I don't know, Owen. Henry is still a little sensitive with everything that happened and Allison... well, you saw how she behaved those days in the hospital."
"Hey, love." I pull her towards me, our faces inches apart. "Allison's reaction was completely normal, she's a 4-year-old girl and she was stuck in a boring hospital room and Henry, he's the sweetest boy, I'm sure they'll both be very happy."
"I can't believe it, Owen. That day when I took the test and it came out negative my heart broke into a thousand pieces, I really wanted a baby of you."
"Well, we already had a baby."
She laughs softly and hides her face in the crock of my neck. Minutes later we both fall deeply asleep.
TEDDY
It's been two months since I found out I'm pregnant, I'm 15 weeks along and over the moon. We still don't tell the twins, or Conrad, or Megan or Evelyn. Only Owen and I know our little-big secret. We wanted to keep it that way for a lot of reasons, at least for now.
First because we wanted to enjoy the moment only between the two of us before everyone started with questions. Then, because we wanted to predict the twins' reaction, both Owen and I have thrown them some questions to know what they think about having a little sibling and both are more than happy with the idea, so I can breathe easy on that part. And finally, when I was 12 weeks I had painful cramps and some bleeding.
I feared the worst, when Owen and I arrived at the hospital I swore that I had already lost the baby, however, the doctors did everything to stop it and in the end they succeeded. I was confined to bed rest for at least a week. The excuse we gave our friends was a stomach infection, stupid perhaps, but in case of losing the baby I wouldn't have been able to stand their pity looks.
In the last ultrasound I had, at 14 weeks, the doctor gave us excellent news. Both, me and the baby are in perfect health, everything is going great. Luckily so far, without that scare, the pregnancy has been quite easy.
Owen has been more overprotective than ever. Never in my life had I seen him so protective. Sometimes I find it adorable, and sometimes suffocating, but I still love it with all my heart. He cares because he loves me, he loves us and I love him too, more than ever.
Since by medical orders if I wanted to carry this pregnancy to term I'd have to lead a lifestyle as relaxed as possible, I had to stop working. I gave Owen my place as head of MedCom. The first days were weird for the both of us.
Owen from having years without working to be responsible for a whole hospital was tiring and difficult for him. But he got the hang of it in a couple of weeks. I on the other hand, after years of working non-stop to be at home with the twins as a kind of a housewife was also a bit difficult, but only in the aspect of adapting to a new routine, I still work from home on my clinic for refugees, in the rest I loved and I am loving every single second at home next to my babies and they are loving it equally.
I get up to make breakfast, have their lunch boxes ready, walk with them to school to go pick them up hours later. I spend the whole afternoon with them, helping them to do homework while I work too, or playing and at night, when Owen comes home we all have dinner, then we play for a little while or watch a movie and then we put the twins down for sleep. That's pretty much our new little familiar routine.
One night, Owen comes from Allison's room after tucking her in for sleep and walks to me with a soft smile while I wash the dishes from dinner. "We have to start telling people, you're starting to show." He hugs me from behind, kisses my neck and introduces his warm hands inside my sweater and places them on my little bump rubbing it softly.
"Of course not! I can still hide it under my baggy clothes."
"The children are already noticing it."
I turn to him. "What?! How?!"
He takes me by the waist and kisses me on the forehead. "According to Allison, you're eating a lot of cookies, that's why you're a little bit chubbier."
I can't help but laugh loudly. "Oh, my God. We can't hide anything from them, isn't it?"
"That pair of kids are smarter than you and me."
"How about we tell them next week when we go to Frankfurt?"
"It seems perfect. It'll be an unforgettable weekend."
"I can't wait to see their little faces when we tell them they will have a little sibling."
"They will be over the moon. Just as I have been since we know it." Owen takes my face in his hands and kisses me passionately. I encircle my arms around his neck, he grabs me by the waist and sits me on the kitchen island. He gets rid of my sweater and starts kissing me everywhere.
"Room, now!" I order him moaning and he obeys.
It's the day of our little trip to Frankfurt; Owen, the twins, Conrad, Jacob and I are going to spend the weekend there. It will be the perfect occasion to tell them about the baby.
Owen was right, I'm starting to show, even with my baggy sweaters sometimes it's possible to notice the curvature of my increasingly growing baby bump.
"Teddy, Owen, come on! What are you doing there? It's a family weekend." Conrad yells at me from the living room while I am in my room, trying to button my jeans that have decided are too small for my waistline.
"Try some leggings." Owen suggests.
I've lived in leggings and loose sweaters since I am a stay-at-home mom so I didn't realize before that my jeans are now too small for my condition. I look in the bottom of my drawers for the last pair of clean leggings I have left, I dress in record time and I put a black cape-coat on top.
We arrive in Frankfurt, we check-in at the hotel and go out to explore the city, which, although practically we already know by heart, Owen doesn't, so we take him to our favorite places.
The twins walk with Conrad and Jacob and Owen and I walk in each other's arms. His hand goes on more than one occasion to my belly and I slap him gently with a smile.
After walking all afternoon in the city we look for a nice and cozy restaurant for dinner. We are taken to a private area at Owen's request. Then the time has come.
"Oh, my God. I'm so hungry that I could eat everything on the menu!" Conrad exclaims when we are at the table.
"Me too. The road to here and the walk left me dead!" Jacob adds.
"I'm not tired!" Allison exclaims, as energetic as ever.
"I do". Henry says. "I'm hungry and I'm tired, daddy."
"Once you're done with dinner you can sleep in my arms and I'll take you to the hotel." Owen answers and gives him a kiss on the head.
The rest of them keep looking at the menu for what to order for dinner when Owen comes close to me and whispers in my ear.
"You are not tired? How do you feel?"
"I'm fine. Tired and hungry, but good. I'm excited tho."
"Now?" Owen asks me, raising an eyebrow. I shrug and smile. "Ok, as you wish."
"Family!" I say to get everyone's attention. "Owen and I have something very important to tell you."
"OH, MY GODDESS, YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!" Conrad exclaims, clapping.
"No." Owen says. "Not yet." Then he gives me a kiss.
"It's something very important, beautiful, big and it will change our lives for everyone." I say.
"Are you leaving Landstuhl?" Jacob asks us and we shake our heads.
"Then what is it?!" The twins exclaim at the same time.
Owen and I share a look of complicity and he takes my hand.
"WE ARE HAVING A BABY!" We say, in unison.
Their faces are priceless. Everyone is speechless and in shock. Seconds later everyone explodes in cries of joy. The twins get up from their chairs and they go to hug me.
"We are having a sibling!"
"Yes, my loves, you will be big siblings!" I tell them by kissing their heads and trying not to cry at their gushing response.
"WHAT?! How...?" Conrad is still amazed.
"Do you want to know how?" Owen asks, jokingly.
"I mean, I know how! But why didn't you say anything before?! Since when do you know?! How far along are you?!"
I get up from my seat and take off my cape-coat. I frame my little bump to make it more noticeable under my sweater.
"I'm 16 weeks along, almost 17." I answer.
Conrad squeals with a huge smile and goes to hug me. "I can't believe it, love. I'm so happy for you, for you two, you deserve this so much!"
"Mommy, mommy, let me see, I want to see!" Allison is ecstatic and tries to lift my sweater.
"Calm down, honey." I say softly to calm her euphoria. "Come here." I take her little hands and place them on my bump. She gives me a huge smile. Then I do the same with Henry. I can't hold back the tears when he gives me a kiss on the belly. I hug him tightly.
"When will my sibling be here?" Henry asks.
"In about 6 months, champion." Owen answers him.
"That's a long time!" Allison complains.
"Well, you'll have to wait, honey." I say.
The atmosphere is one of happiness and celebration. Conrad and Jacob congratulate Owen too and after minutes of more hugs, laughter and tears we finally sat down to dinner. Minutes later Owen is interrupted by his cell phone.
"I'll be back in a sec." He tells me and gets up from his seat to go out and answer.
Owen comes back about 10 minutes later and looks thoughtful, but not worried, I can say that there's the shadow of a smile on his lips. "Everything ok, love?"
"It was my mother... she and Megan are in France and they want to come visit us…"