Lost Chances
Selam, everyone!
How's it going? I hope you're all doing well?
Here's another small idea I had for a while now. I'm really sorry it took me this long to write it down. University is being a bitch lately, hahahah.
Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this story. Please lemme know what you think, yeah? And thank you so very much for all your adorable comments on the last story! I was so happy! You guys really are amazing! Thank you very much!
With that said, stay safe, people. And as always,
Take care!
The first time confessing to him has become a somewhat serious topic, Erina had been pushed by both Alice and Hisako to do so. Go over and confess.
"It's that simple," Alice had said, "Not even you can mess this up."
"Please, Erina-sama. You don't have to worry. I know Yukihira feels the same."
"That's right. Besides, if you don't do it soon, you might regret it later."
Right. As if she would ever regret not having admitted her true feelings for him. "You are being ridiculous. Both of you."
"We're not! Tell her we're not, Hishoko!"
"…We're not? Anyway, I think it's important to get this off your chest, Erina-sama. You'll feel a lot lighter if you do." And with Hisako's encouraging smile, it had happened.
She'd actually started to consider it.
But after a while, and to Erina's own dismay, that thought of just considering didn't seem enough anymore. And more often than not, she would find herself standing in front of her bedroom mirror and try to say those haunting words out loud. Over and over. As if struggling to admit it to herself. As if she's actually practicing to say it to his face.
"W-why is this so hard?!" She'd always give up before the words make it past her lips, too embarrassed to look at her reflection anymore. She'd end up throwing herself on her bed, reading Shoujo manga for the rest of the evening because that's the only distraction she'd find. How had Alice and Hisako even known she's developing feelings for that fool when Erina herself never said anything to them? "I-I can't possibly do something so humiliating." Screw Alice for putting ideas in her head. She's not going to regret anything.
And after some time, she'd just leave it at that. Still considering but not actively trying to embarrass herself in front of the mirror. Even when she runs into him alone every now and then after an Elite Ten meeting, she'd always try her best to just brush the thought aside and pretend like she isn't running from him.
Just because she can.
"Yo, Nakiri," he'd stop her with a wave of his hand, his eyes squinted like they always seem to be when greeting her, "Heading out already?"
"I-I have a taste testing… They should be waiting for me right now, so I need to hurry. Did you need something, Yukihira-kun?"
"Nah. Nothing, actually. I just had this dish I wanted you to try out too, that's all."
She would blush at the way he ruffles his hair, would feel her heart beating out of control because of that bashful expression on his face. But she would ignore it. Just like those other times.
"P-perhaps later."
Because, at the end of the day, what her mind suggests is just an option. A mere consideration. She has no reason to act on such simple thoughts. And she has no intention to worry about regrets either. She has her pride, after all.
…
The second time Erina thinks about admitting her feelings to him, she's come to realize that her pride is no longer enough to keep her from letting him know what's going on in her heart.
At this point, she's just biding her time, waiting patiently for his Shokugeki to be over. As the new Second Seat, he's had quite a few of them recently, and whenever her schedule would allow it, Erina makes sure to be there and watch him win each time.
Because she likes to see that confident smile on his face that always seems to widen whenever he looks up at her while cooking his dishes. She wouldn't know for sure, but she likes to imagine that he does it just to check if she's still there or not. Because he wants her to be there?
And once the Shokugeki is over, unsurprisingly with him as the victor, she makes her way down to meet him before anyone else can.
She's not scared anymore. She can do this.
"Yo, Nakiri. Enjoyed the match?"
"Perhaps I would have if you had roasted that steak for half a minute longer." He rolls his eyes but keeps grinning nonetheless. And Erina, despite feeling that obnoxious thumping in her chest, pretends like it isn't effecting her. Only for a moment. Just to be sure she can still recognize herself to some extent when she smiles back at him loftily. "Seems like your luck hasn't ended today either. I wonder, doesn't it get repetitive after a while?" She simply refuses to look nervous in front of him. And even if she considers saying 'screw it' and leave- because she feels overwhelmed enough to actually do just that-, she keeps her arms crossed and her breathing in check.
Yukihira, placing the knife case on the ground beside him, chuckles and wraps his hand cloth back around his wrist. Casual as always. "I dunno about that, but if you'd agree to give my dish a taste, I can prove that I didn't win 'cause of luck."
"Oh please. How many times have we had that discussion already?"
"And the result always stays the same. You just don't wanna admit you like my food."
"I have no reason to lie."
"Someday, Nakiri. Someday." Picking up his knife case, he grins at her, making her blush. "Well, guess I'll make sure to bring some of my steak dish to the Ten meeting later. See how ya like me then." And just as he's about to walk right past her, that nervousness from earlier turns into full-rage panic. It makes Erina whirl around and reach out, not actually touching him but very close to.
"H-hold on a second, Yukihira-kun," she says, swallows, breathes. Then starts over, "B-before you go, there is something I… wanted to tell you."
He turns to face her, scarred brow close to reaching his hairline when he watches her withdraw her hand, "What's up?"
"I… Actually," Erina swallows again, feeling the heat on her face worsen and a cold shiver running down her spine. Is she really able to pull this off? Perhaps she'd been too sure of herself before. "I was just… I mean…" Perhaps she isn't as confident about this as she'd thought at first.
"…Nakiri?" Yukihira takes a step towards her, "You okay? You kinda look like you're coming down with something."
"H-huh…?"
"You're shaking." When he gives her hands an upwards nod, she quickly hides them behind her back, frowning because he's too observant for his own good sometimes.
"I-I'm fine," she sighs. Then clenches her fists behind her back, "What I wanted to tell you, Yukihira-kun, is-" And before she can get the words out, she's interrupted by a furious Kurokiba Ryo rushing over to them and grabbing the redhead by the collar of his shirt, ready to drag him out of the arena and into the hallway.
"Took you long enough, Yukihira! Hurry the fuck up and let's go already!"
"…What? Do you need to be somewhere?" Erina looks at them both, confused.
"Well, uh…" She has to wait a moment before receiving that sheepish smile from him. And despite struggling against Kurokiba's strong grip, Yukihira still reaches up to rub the back of his head, looking at her with both excitement and hesitation in his eyes. "We were just-"
"On our way to his next Shokugeki! Hayama's already at the arena, so we gotta get movin'! C'mon, dumbass!"
"I get it, I get it! Jeez. Stop yelling." Yukihira finally shakes off the hand on his collar, frowning as he cleans his left ear, "Take off that bandana already, would cha? Why're you even wearing it?"
"A Shokugeki?"
He tilts his head back to Erina when his friend only groans in response, adjusting the knife case in his hand before he, yet again, arches a brow at her. "Yeah. But you wanted to say somethin' first. Right, Nakiri?"
"H-huh? Oh…" With her fists still clenched behind her back, Erina looks up at those golden eyes for a good minute or two. Contemplating. Considering.
In the end, she just releases a long breath through her nose and shakes her head, turning to head down the hallway instead. "It wasn't important. Go have fun at your Shokugeki."
"You're not gonna come see it?"
"…No. I only had time for this one. I'm sorry."
And she leaves not knowing that Yukihira's eyes follow her to the next corner.
…
The third time she thinks she should get the words out eventually, they're already about to graduate. At this point, Erina doesn't know anymore if Hisako's statement from last year is still accurate or not, but she's determined to get that weight off her shoulders regardless. She has practiced in front of the mirror, actually able to admit it to herself without cringing or feeling embarrassed about it.
She's in love with him. Now, it's finally time to let him know that.
With her blue dress gently floating behind her, she makes her way over to the buffet table at the other end of the hall, lucky to find him there alone. She's nervous but still pretty certain she can pull it off.
No chances will be missed this time.
"Yukihira-kun?"
"Hey, did you see this, Nakiri?" he points a thumb at all the different varieties of food behind him, grinning at her as she comes to a halt in front of him, "So many dishes!"
"Y-yes, well, this is a special occasion, after all. And we are in Totsuki Resort, so it's only natural that the kitchen staff puts in some effort to serve us their best dishes."
"So they really went all out for this one, huh?"
She smiles, eying each menu item on the table, "Of course they did."
"Man… Three years and I'm still not used to how Totsuki does things. It's impressive." Yukihira chuckles and turns his gaze back to her, his smile soft when he crosses his arms. "So. You having fun so far?"
Erina gives him an amused look, flipping her long hair back because she doesn't know how else to calm herself. "I suppose I am," she says and is surprised to find that she actually means it, "Making sure Alice doesn't drink too much is easier than I thought. Since Kurokiba-kun is keeping an eye on her as well."
"Oh yeah. I can see that." With another chuckle, Yukihira nods at Kurokiba taking a glass of alcohol out of Alice's hands, leaving her to pout and stomp her foot before she runs after him to reclaim it. "That looks like a tough job."
"I'm sure he can handle her."
"You think so?"
"…Yeah." Taking a deep breath, Erina turns back to face him. She can feel her heart flutter in her chest when she gives him a quick once-over, secretly admiring how he looks in that red vest and black tie. It suits him, but before she reaches the point where harmless staring turns into uncomfortable gawking, she catches herself and clears her throat, blushing.
"A-anyway," she starts, "How about you, Yukihira-kun? Are you enjoying yourself so far?"
He shrugs and tucks his hands inside his pockets, looking around the hall before meeting her eyes again, "Sure am. But it's kinda weird to think that this is gonna be the last time we all get to hang out like this. I know I'm definitely gonna miss you guys."
"…Yes. It is… hard to imagine that we're at the end of the road."
"And I didn't flunk out like you said I would."
She laughs when he flashes a wide grin, placing a hand on her hip. "You were close to flunking out many times, Yukihira-kun."
"Still didn't though. Got any thoughts on that?"
"Only that I'm surprised to see you actually graduate."
His grin turns into a chuckle, and for a moment only, Erina doesn't feel as nervous as she had at the beginning of the night. If this is indeed their last time enjoying each other's company like this, she's sure she won't have any regrets ending it with a grand confession. Or at least that's what she tells herself.
"Honestly, it's kinda thanks to you that I made it this far in the first place. Thanks a bunch, Nakiri!"
"…Why do I feel like I'm being insulted here?" Folding her arms over her chest, Erina frowns at him. And as she does, that grin on Yukihira's face turns into a warm smile, his eyes squinting when he takes a step towards her.
"I'm not insulting you. I really do mean it." Another step. Then, the redhead sighs, ruffling his hair and avoiding her gaze long enough to make her raise a brow at him. "Damn. Never thought I'd have to say this someday, but… I'm gonna miss ya, Nakiri."
"I-I…" she presses her lips together, almost drawing blood when she bites the inside of her cheek instead. She doesn't know how to reply to that, doesn't know how to handle herself from here.
So Erina lowers her gaze for a moment, giving both him and herself the silence they need to collect their thoughts. And when she's sure she has calmed down enough to speak, she looks back up and gives Yukihira a small smile, pressing her palms together behind her back just to be sure he doesn't see them tremble again.
"Which country will you visit first?" she asks, pretending that she isn't close to tearing up.
"Spain. I think."
"Be sure you always let Saiba-sama know where you are. Don't make him worry."
"…Yeah. You got it."
"And speaking of our last day together," she takes a deep breath, "I have something to tell you, Yukihira-kun."
"…You're not gonna make fun of me for not having made you admit you like my food yet, are ya? Just so you know, I'm still workin' on that."
"H-hmph. As if you could." She swallows, finding no humor in her own words, "But no. It's not… it's not about that."
"Okay… You wanna tell me how good this looks on me then?" he tugs on the tie lightly, making Erina blush as she forces her gaze away from it.
"A-absolutely not!"
"You sure?"
"Y-yes!"
"Fine. Then I got nothin'. What d'ya wanna say?"
This is it. She can do this.
As she takes a few calming breaths, Yukihira arches a brow at her, making her feel all the more self-conscious before she composes herself. "W-well, I… What I wanted to say is-"
"Hey, Yukihira! Erina-cchi! Hurry up and get over here! We're taking pictures!"
"What?" And just as she's about to pour her heart out at last, she finds herself being dragged away by Yoshino.
With a quick glance at their friends all gathered together in one corner of the hall, Erina sighs and shakes her head, discouraged yet again. It seems it doesn't take much to make her feel this way these days. The smallest things would throw her off, the tiniest changes in her plans would cause her to second-guess them. No matter what she tells herself, confessing to Yukihira Soma is no small feat. How many times has she tried this now?
Maybe this is just a sign that it's not meant to be. Maybe she shouldn't try at all and leave things as they are. That would be the easiest rout to take, wouldn't it?
"Nakiri?" He's standing right beside her when the first group photo is about to be taken, grinning into the camera with his hands tucked in his pockets. Erina, for her part, only crosses her arms, blushing as she feels his arm brushing hers. "You wanted to say something."
"…It wasn't important." she whispers, then brings herself to smile as Chef Dojima raises a hand for the countdown, camera in hand, eyes glistening under the bright lights.
"Really?"
"Four…"
Erina rolls her eyes, trying her best to keep up her smile. "Yes." It really doesn't take much to knock the wind off her sails, does it?
"Two…"
"Alright… Then lemme tell ya something instead. 'Cause I'm not sure I've said this earlier already or not."
"Can't that wait, Yukihira-kun? Right now is not the best time if you haven't noticed."
"One! Everyone, smile!"
"Save that first dance for me later, Nakiri." And just then, the camera clicks. Catching Erina right when she turns her face to him, the surprise reflected in her eyes, her deep blush.
"W-what…?" She doesn't pay attention to Dojima smiling down at the camera and rubbing over his eyes furiously. All she can focus on is the dust of redness on Yukihira's face. His warm, golden eyes.
It's those eyes that captivate her every single time. Lure her in like it's the simplest thing in the world. And it's those eyes that break her out of her stupor now, making her blink as she glances back at the tall man in front of them.
"Well then," she hears him say, "I think we need a couple more of these. You kids deserve as many pictures as you can get."
"Nakiri-chan didn't even look!"
"Huh?! B-but that's- I mean…" She shifts her eyes from Sato to the redhead next to her, glaring at him before she turns away completely. And for the next few pictures Chef Dojima takes, she keeps her arms crossed and her frown in place, only smiling when Tadokoro-san gives her arm a gentle, innocent nudge.
And just when she thinks Yukihira won't bring up that bad joke again, he stops her as soon as the photo shoot is over, grinning because of course he would be after embarrassing her like that. "You're gonna tell me what you wanted to say when we dance, right?"
"Y-you were being serious about the dance?"
"'Course I was."
Erina sighs. She had not expected that. "…I think there are plenty other things we can talk about, Yukihira-kun," she says eventually and turns to smile at him, "But maybe, I will tell you some other time."
She doesn't tell him. Not this night. Not any other.
…
The fourth time the thought of confessing to him crosses her mind, years have already passed. And Erina knows it's too late.
She's known it the moment Tadokoro Megumi sent a message to their entire friend group, inviting them to Yukihira's birthday party next Friday- her boyfriend's birthday party.
And it's not until Erina sees the happy couple on that Friday that she feels her heart drop, second-guessing her choice to have come even though it had given her the opportunity to catch up with everyone else.
Never once dropping her smile is a real challenge, forcing herself to keep her eyes dry painful. She's feeling wistful- horrible, even- and she struggles hard to pretend that she isn't. Slowly, very slowly, she begins to think that Alice might've had a point back when they were second-years. She's starting to have regrets. And she hates it.
"Yo, Nakiri!" She suppresses a flinch when his voice pulls her out of her thoughts, turning around to see him approach her with quick steps. "Been a while, huh? Good to see ya."
"Happy birthday, Yukihira-kun," she says, meeting his grin with that smile that probably looks like it's just been painted on her face by an amateur artist, "And congratulations. I didn't know you and Tadokoro-san started dating."
Rubbing the back of his head, Yukihira lowers his gaze to the floor. His bright grin turns into a sheepish smile when he meets her eyes again, making her heart ache, "Ah, thanks," he chuckles, "It was a bit of a surprise, to be honest. Even for me."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I… didn't give it much thought when she- I mean when, you know…"
"I-I see," So Tadokoro has done what Erina couldn't. "Make sure you treat her well. She deserves it."
"…Yeah."
There's silence for a good couple of minutes, giving Erina the time to blink away the tears stinging her eyes and compose herself. Two years after their graduation and she still feels her heart thumping uncontrollably hard in front of him. That weight of all those lost chances is there. Always. The regret has finally caught up to her.
"Nakiri, I-" Yukihira closes his mouth again, ruffling his hair and avoiding her gaze. "Why didn't you tell me you also came to London after we graduated?"
"Why didn't you tell me you would go there in the first place, Yukihira-kun? I thought it was supposed to be Spain." Erina gives him a hard look, brows furrowed, arms crossed. She knows she's waiting for an answer that probably won't come. And she knows she won't be able to keep her emotions in check for much longer if he does decide to answer after all. That guilt in his eyes makes it impossible to stay rational.
"That's-"
"Never mind that now, Yukihira-kun. I would rather we didn't talk about this tonight. Tadokoro-san organized this celebration for you. It's your special day." She smiles when she nods towards the woman standing in front of a large birthday cake, glancing at them every other minute, "And I think you should go over to give her a hand. She's waiting for you."
"Oh, uh… Yeah." And just as he's about to turn away from her and take his place back at Tadokoro's side, throwing a causal "see ya later then, Nakiri" over his shoulder, Erina pulls out the gift that she's forgotten to place on the table next to all the others earlier.
"Wait a second, Yukihira-kun." Closing the short distance between them, she takes his hand and places the custom made key chain inside his palm. An image of Yukihira diner, the name written in golden letters beside it. "Again, happy birthday."
His smile is radiant when he looks down at their joined hands, eyes squinted and a faint blush on his cheeks. "Thanks, Nakiri," he says and she has to bite her lip hard to keep herself from squeezing his hand. Instead, she releases it, allowing him to bring the key chain closer to his face and inspect it with a chuckle. "You totally nailed it. This looks exactly like Yukihira."
"H-hmph. Of course it does. Now go blow out those candles. Tadokoro-san isn't going to do it for you."
Still chuckling, he nods and turns to leave again. And this time, she doesn't stop him, only squints as he gives her another boyish grin before he's gone.
She watches him go, reminded of Hisako's statement yet again. "You don't have to worry. I know Yukihira feels the same."
If only she could've been right about that.
…
The next time her foolish heart decides to remind her that she's still in love with him, another two years have gone by.
She's on top of her game now, opening new restaurants all over the globe and making a name for herself as a successful food critic. At this point, she has given up on the idea of confessing to him, trying to suppress her feelings as best she can. But on nights like this where she's the last to leave one of those restaurants, she ends up lost in thought, imagining where he could be cooking right now and when she'd receive his and Tadokoro-san's wedding invitation. Because she's sure that wedding is going to happen eventually. And because she knows it so well, she's rather hesitant to touch her phone or open her mailbox.
If she were to check them every day, she's sure her mind wouldn't stop producing more of those damned 'What-If scenarios' that've come to haunt her over the past years.
What if she'd just confessed the first time Alice told her to? What if Yukihira had felt the same way like Hisako claimed? What if he got tired of waiting for her to admit her feelings that he turned to Tadokoro-san instead? What if he'd always loved her?
With a firm shake of her head, Erina locks the double doors behind her and makes her way down the pavement. Seattle's streets seem especially cold this winter, and the heiress groans in frustration when she watches multiple cars pass her by. She should've called her driver to pick her up tonight.
"Yo, Nakiri!"
As if struck by lightning, Erina stops dead in her tracks, eyes wide, mouth agape. A misunderstanding? No. Is her mind playing tricks on her now?
Of all things she would've expected to be confronted with in Seattle tonight, this is not one of them. Her heart begins to pound in her chest, and as she finds herself turning around slowly, she can't suppress the small gasp that escapes her lips.
"Y-Yukihira-kun…" He's right there. Only a few feet away from her. Giving her that wide grin that she's come to adore so much over the years. She swallows, "W-what are you-"
"Oh, hold up a sec," he points a thumb behind him, exposing the familiar hand cloth tied around his wrist before he moves on, "Just so we're on the same page here, that was your restaurant you came out of just now, right?" And Erina arches a brow at him, clutching her bag tightly to keep her hands from shaking.
"Y-yes, but-"
"Great! That's awesome. You're seriously out to break some kinda world record with all these new restaurants, Nakiri. Way to go."
"I… P-perhaps, but-"
"But that also means you've opened another one and didn't invite me again. What gives, Nakiri? Are you mad at me or somethin'?"
Blinking, Erina takes a deep breath through her nose, giving up on the attempt to follow him. It's because he just doesn't allow her to have one decent thought. Because he's closing the distance between them so quickly that Erina has trouble focusing on anything other than him. "W-why don't you explain what you're doing here first before you start talking about any restaurants, Yukihira-kun?" she tries again and feels herself frustrating because he's just not making any sense.
"Well, isn't it obvious?"
"I-I… No?"
The redhead sighs. Then frowns at her. "You're not the only one who's boiling over, Nakiri. I am too. And just so you know, I've wanted to give you a piece of my mind for a while now."
"…What? What are you…?" Shaking her head, Erina gives herself a moment to collect her thoughts. Yukihira is here. In Seattle. Talking about something she doesn't understand. He's right here in front of her and aside from confusion, she's not sure how she should feel about that. Happy?
She sighs. "Did Hisako tell you that I'm here?"
"Sure did."
"I-I see. And you're here because you want to vent on me?" Yukihira nods, leading her to pinch the bridge of her nose as she sighs again. "Okay… Then, how is Tadokoro-san doing? I haven't been able to talk to her since your birthday party last year." And there's the missing piece she's been searching for. The reason why she doesn't know how to feel. Why did he come here alone?
"…You haven't talked to anyone since that party, Nakiri."
"I was-"
"If you had, you'd know she's gonna marry Takumi next summer."
Her eyes widen for the second time tonight, her lips part. "W-what…?" She takes a step back as she watches Yukihira finally break out into a smile, his hand up to rub the back of his head.
"Yep."
"B-but you two…"
"We broke up sometime around last year."
"…Why?"
Yukihira shrugs and lowers his hand, tucking it back inside the pocket of his coat, "I dunno. It… kinda didn't work out. For both of us." And while he gives her that sheepish smile that makes her heart pound, Erina finds herself thinking again. Hoping, as those 'What-If scenarios' begin to replay in her head.
What if she told him now what she couldn't tell him all those years ago? Right here, surrounded by snow and bright streetlights. What if she closes the little gap that's left between them and shows him what she feels? What if he actually reciprocates these feelings?
"I-I understand…" Loosening her grip on her bag, Erina takes a deep breath to compose herself. Should she feel happy now? "And what do you believe I did that's gotten you so angry?"
"Well, first off, what's this I heard about you dating some random guy two months ago?"
"What? Who would-" her question pretty much answers itself when she goes through the small list of people who knew about that. And she immediately grits her teeth, knowing there's only one person bold enough to tell him. "Alice?"
"Alice."
"Honestly, I should have known better than to tell her anything." Sighing, Erina rubs her temples and blushes. "A-anyway," she says, "Even if I did date someone… Why would that bother you?"
"…Are you still seeing him?"
"That doesn't answer my question, Yukihira-kun!"
"I don't exactly see you answering any of mine either!" Yukihira frowns down at her, his warm breath brushing her skin as she glares up in return. And just as she thinks this staring contest would continue for another minute or two, he opens his mouth again, surprising her. "Did you really think I'd be okay with you stepping out of my life like this, Nakiri? Those words you couldn't say to me all those times, was it really that easy to say them to someone else?"
She gasps again, feeling her heart stopping, then beating twice as fast against her ribcage. "W-what are you…?" It beats so fast, it hurts, and Erina has to remind herself to breathe before she would end up passing out in the middle of the street. Right on the snow. "Y-you don't actually mean you… knew… R-right?"
Yukihira nods, scratching his head again and avoiding her eyes, "I figured it out last year or so. Or before that. After the party, maybe? I dunno. Tadokoro kinda helped me come to terms with it, and it's why I had to end things between us. Turns out she already guessed that, well…"
Swallowing, Erina inhales. Then exhales. Slowly.
"I'm not seeing anyone, Yukihira-kun." she says eventually, smiling up at him. Genuinely this time. "And I haven't said what you think I have either."
"…Why haven't you?"
"Because it wouldn't have been honest. Obviously." Rolling her eyes, Erina turns her face away, smile gone, blush still in place.
Yukihira, for his part, only squints at her, grinning as he mimics her in crossing his arms. "So what do I have'ta do to finally make you say it?" he asks, chuckling. In relief?
"W-what makes you think I would say it now?"
"Well, I mean I pretty much admitted it already, right? I love you, Nakiri. I think I have for a while now. It just… took me a bit to realize that. I'm sorry…" He pauses, looking sheepish before a wide grin appears on his face again, "Now, it's your turn. I wanna hear it straight from your mouth. Can ya do that, Nakiri?"
He's being smug about it, she knows. But even if he is, Erina can't come up with a retort to knock the wind off his sales.
She's nervous again. Too nervous to speak.
So many years have passed, so many opportunities have been lost. Now, he asks her to pour her heart out just like that? How many times has she imagined doing that? Is it really supposed to be that simple?
"I-I," she swallows. Breathes. Then swallows again, repeating that process until her mouth is as dry as it can be. "A-actually, that's… I mean, I'm not…"
She doesn't get the words out, eyes squeezing shut, lips pressed together tightly. Fear suddenly settles in her stomach. Fear that this will end up being just another missed opportunity- that she will continue living with this regret inside her. Just like she has for the past two years.
But before Erina can take a step back, ready to retreat, she feels warm lips pressing against her own. Gently. Making her tear her eyes wide open.
Yukihira's hand is holding onto the back of her neck, pulling her towards him as his teeth begin to nibble on her bottom lip. Then, he tilts his head, using his chance to deepen the kiss when Erina accidentally opens her mouth. He kisses her. He actually kisses her. And she finds herself returning it, drawing new confidence from it the more demanding he becomes.
By the time they part, she's just a blushing mess, her breath ragged and her hands trembling against his chest.
"Can ya do it now?" Yukihira asks, grinning again when she gives him a shy nod.
Can she?
Yes. Now, she's finally ready to say it. This time, she's not backing down.
"I love, Yukihira-kun," she whispers against his lips and feels a big wave of relief washing over her. "Although, I might not have from the very beginning." And she winks, her smile wider than its ever been when she hears him chuckle in return.
"Oh please. You were so crushing on me already when we bumped into each other during that training camp."
"I-I was not! What are you talking about?!"
His chuckle dies down, replaced by a warm smile as he releases her neck and squints at her. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it? You could've just told me from the start."
Erina returns his smile with one of her own, blushing when she takes her hands off his chest. "Like you, I needed to come to terms with it myself first. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do, believe me."
"Oh?" Arching a brow, Yukihira crosses his arms again and grins, "If only you'd say that about my cooking too. It would make things way less difficult if you just admit it to my face, ya know."
"H-hmph. I assure you, that will never happen."
"…Wanna head back to that new restaurant of yours and test that out? Like, right now?"
She rolls her eyes, still blushing when she gestures for him to lead the way before her long hair is flipped over her shoulder. "I would be happy to reject your peasant cooking once more, Yukihira-kun. It's been quite a while since the last time I've done that."
"Yeah… sure has."
And as she allows him to take her hand and pull her back the same road she came from, listening to his endless stories about different cooking techniques he picked up all over the world, Erina finds herself wiping a single tear from the corner of her left eye.
She still has questions. About Tadokoro. About the exact point he realized what it was she'd been trying to tell him all this time. About what's going to happen next. But for tonight only, she lets them all go, focusing on the man who seems to have been waiting for her longer than she ever could've imagined.
She's finally told him. The last of her chances, and she's actually managed to make it count. No more regrets, no more worries. She has said it. And she'll make sure that no future opportunities to say it again are going to be wasted.
If Alice knew, she'd be proud. "I told you," she would say, "Good thing you didn't start regretting it right away. You would've gone crazy, Erina."
Yes. If only she knew.
Annnddd let's cut it right here!
What do you guys think? I really hope you liked it!
With that, I wish you all a beautiful day/night and say: Until next time!
Take care, you guys!