Every single part of Michael was just lit ablaze by pure anxiety.

For a while, he drifted, almost aimlessly. No clue where he was, or where he was going. He wanted to find Adam and Chuck again, he wanted to get back to the demon, to find his other half - his better half, in Michael's opinion - to be reunited, whole again, to know that Adam was safe. But he wasn't safe, he couldn't be safe as long as he was still there, with Chuck - so what the hell was Michael supposed to do? He couldn't sense his Father. He could hardly get around, even if he could. As for the demon - they were connected, right? Always connected. And a part of Michael could still feel him, just a little, just enough to know he was still alive. But beyond that? Nope. Nada. Zilch. He couldn't tell where he was. He wasn't strong enough.

He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. He wanted to curse and break something and he wanted to rip apart every single one of his Father's creations himself, he was so angry, so blindly furious, so consumed in rage and hatred and he had. No. Idea. What to do with it. He just wanted Adam back and if Chuck had hurt him, if he had laid one finger on the demon's head, if he had caused any harm to him, Michael was going to destroy his Father, and this, he knew. More than he had ever known anything else in his entire life, he knew this.

But he couldn't do that, not the way he was. Not as weak as he was. And being like this, without a vessel, he wasn't getting any stronger. But he didn't want a vessel. He didn't want to just possess someone, take over their body, he didn't want to be in control alone. What he did want? He wanted Adam. He wanted the one being in the world that he could share that control with. The one being in the world he didn't feel like he was possessing. Adam wasn't a vessel. He was a part of Michael and as long as that part was missing, Michael would never feel whole. And he hated every damn second he had this hollow, broken feeling. He hated the insanity closing in. Flickering, tantalizingly close, calling the archangel in now that Adam wasn't there to help him. Every part of him ached to give in, but he didn't. He couldn't give up. Not now.

He couldn't go to the Empty. He couldn't go get Lucifer. He couldn't contact Gabriel. He couldn't get Amara. He couldn't get anyone. He couldn't ask for help, he couldn't find anyone to ask-

… couldn't he, though?

For a second, the archangel screeched to a halt. Sam. Dean. Castiel. It was completely possible, going to them for help. They cared about Adam - Sam cared about Adam, he'd be able to figure out how to save him. Dean and Castiel, he wasn't too sure about. He knew Dean cared, he hoped Dean cared, but… but, well, the hunter didn't trust him. He, likely, wouldn't believe him. With nobody else to turn to, with nobody else to ask, Sam was the only one he could go to right then. Sam was the only one who could save Adam.

A rush of pain exploded through him, no area in particular. But it burned. It started as nothing more than a light tingle, actually, before it got to that part. It was like fire, spreading through him, but not the furious kind of fire. No, this hurt. He didn't know where it was coming from.

But he shook it off, desperate, and continued on his way, because there were much bigger fish to fry, much more important things to worry about, and Adam was on the top of that list.

It didn't really occur to him, how much he was risking. How much he'd have to reveal. Chuck's presence in the universe, for starters. Hell, he'd even have to give up Lucifer, reveal the fact that they'd known he was alive all along - but even then, he didn't care. Nothing else mattered more to him than getting back to Adam again, and so long as he could do that, everything else could be figured out much later. The demon was his priority, first and foremost. Maybe it was horrible. Maybe it was awful, even, that he would put Adam above his own brother. Above the world. Didn't mean that was going to change anytime soon. Especially not now.

And that's how he, eventually, found himself at the bunker, no vessel, hardly any energy, absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent on the verge of a mental and emotional breakdown and fighting a pretty much losing battle with his own insanity.

The first one he saw was Dean. The archangel hesitated, careful not to actually show himself - he didn't want to hurt the hunter's ears, he didn't want to rattle the bunker. So he was silent, still, desperately trying to think, to consider what he was doing. But his senses were clouded, nothing but fear and confusion and pain swirling through him. Another sharp throb of fire flared up, enough to make him whimper - and he made his decision then and there. The pain was likely from not having a vessel, so he had to work fast, tell Dean everything, and… reluctantly go find a vessel and get back to the bunker as fast as he could.

The hunter was sitting at the table, head in his hands, fingers buried into his hair. Michael hesitated before he approached, slowly worming his way into the hunter's mind. He didn't want to, and even though he wasn't quite possessing him - he couldn't do so, not without permission - it still felt wrong, so, so wrong, to invade Dean's space like this. But it was the only way to communicate with him. The archangel clenched his teeth.

He found himself in a body once again. Kind of - at least, he took on a physical form in Dean's mind, to better communicate with him. He didn't bother moving forward, he didn't even say anything to Dean at first - he just doubled over, gasping, wrapping his arms around himself and screwing his eyes shut with a low, muffled sob. That pain was burning brighter than it ever had before - oddly enough, it was a little worse around his hands, now, he could tell - but he struggled to ignore it, fighting back tears as he struggled to pull himself together.

Dean looked up at once, seeming alarmed. In an instant, he pushed his chair back and stood, but he didn't approach the archangel, he just stood still, silent, wary. Michael shuddered a little, taking in a breath, and forced himself to focus. He could break down later. Adam needed him. Shaking, the archangel forced his gaze up to the hunter, blinking past the tears blurring his vision. "Wher- where's- where's S-" He flinched, biting his lip, trying to calm his shaking so that he could speak a little clearer. "I- I… where…" He inhaled sharply. "Where… where's Sam?"

"Sleeping," Dean responded at once, a tiny bit of worry sparking up in his eyes now. Michael was a little bit confused by that, at first, until he realized - right, the hunter couldn't tell if he was Adam or Michael right then, he didn't know Adam wasn't there. The thought made his heart sink, anxiety returning, wondering if Dean would even believe him, that Adam was in danger. What if he didn't? What would he say? He needed to talk to Sam, he couldn't talk to Dean, Dean would never believe him, he'd never trust him, what had he been thinking-? "What's wrong?"

Michael looked at him desperately, wrapping his arms a little tighter around himself. Part of him ached to just go wake up Sam, but… no, he couldn't, he couldn't do that, not now. He just had to suck it up and get it over with, tell the hunter what was going on. Even if he couldn't force his mouth to move, even if he couldn't force the words out, he had to find a way to tell him. He had to figure out a way to do this, because if he didn't do this, Chuck could very well kill the demon - if he hadn't already… no, no, he was alive, he had to be alive, Michael had to believe that. The thought caused more tears to well up and, in turn, his breathing hitched again, chest tightening. "A- Adam-" He managed to choke out, forcing his mouth to form the words, forcing the sounds from his throat, but even he wasn't sure if it was comprehensible. "Adam- he- he's- he's…"

Dean's pupils shrunk slightly, face draining of color, clearly assuming the worst. "Adam's what?" He demanded, taking a few steps forward - Michael cringed a little despite himself, unable to help it, as the hunter approached - and crossing his arms over his chest. "What happened?"

"My Father…" Michael whispered, and Dean stilled, staring at him. The archangel gritted his teeth, fighting back another rush of tears, this time from anger. He hated him. He genuinely hated him. He hadn't even known that was possible - and yet, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he'd always felt this way. This was just the first time he'd really been able to feel it. "We- my Father- he was- he was going to kill us an-" He swallowed. "Adam- he- he sent me- sent me away but- he didn't- he-" He couldn't finish that. He didn't want to.

He didn't need to.

A look of realization shot across Dean's face, eyes going wide. He didn't say a word, not for a long, long time, just staring at the archangel - almost in disbelief - before it settled again. There was no wariness, no distrust, not now. Michael wasn't sure why. Maybe he could just tell, how desperate the archangel was, how panicked and confused and lost he was. Maybe he had gotten to Dean more than he'd thought, before. Maybe the hunter knew this kind of fear couldn't be faked. But whatever it was, Dean believed him, and that was all that mattered.

"Where were you?" The hunter finally asked, his voice steady, somehow, despite the situation. And, somehow, that helped Michael calm down, just a little bit. Dean had this under control, right? He seemed like he had it under control. Calm, cool, and collected, the hunter's steadiness was slowly spreading to him - not enough to calm him completely, but enough to where he could calm down his shaking, to where he could speak a little clearer. Think a little clearer.

"We…" Michael faltered a little, but his hesitance didn't last long. He had to be honest here, he had to tell Dean everything, whatever happened, because Adam was in danger, and if they wanted to get him back, the hunter needed to know these things. "We were in Hell." A surprised look flickered across Dean's face, finally accompanied by a little bit of suspicion - and, as if that had opened the dam, Michael immediately rushed to speak, and everything just poured out. "I- I know- I know we should've told you everything before, I'm sorry- I'm sorry, but we- we had to- we were moving the Cage," he choked out, and the surprised expression on Dean's face intensified. "We were going to trap God so that he- he couldn't hurt anyone anymore, because he's injured, and- and-"

"Trap- God-" Dean managed, eyes going wide. But, then, his eyebrows furrowed, seeming to actually consider the idea - and then he just looked kind of impressed. "Actually, that's kind of…" He trailed off, blinking, and shook his head vigorously, snapping himself back to his senses. "Okay, uh- so Chuck figured out your plan, I'm guessing, and went to confront you, and…"

"And he was going to kill us- I think- I don't know," Michael muttered, the memory making him feel sick. But he continued on, swallowing hard. "He was mad. Really, really, really mad, and- he was going to, but then- Adam…" The archangel's pupils shrunk slightly, the tears threatening to rise again, but he pushed them back even harder this time as he struggled to continue. "Adam… he… he told me to go, he wanted me to go and I couldn't- I tried, I tried to stay with him but I- I couldn't hold on, I wasn't- I'm not strong enough- and…"

He winced, recalling the feeling of his Grace being ripped away from Adam's soul, the feeling of being pulled out of the demon's body, the feeling of their connection being severed.

"Easy," Dean warned, not quite soothing, but steadying, somewhat grounding. It brought Michael back to the present, at the very least, allowing the fog in his brain to clear up just a little bit. The hunter paused, staring at him, another realization settling in as he looked around. "Wait a second - if he pushed you out, then how the hell…?" He looked back at Michael, bewildered.

The archangel blinked once, then his eyes widened, the realization hitting quickly. "Oh- I'm not- I don't have a vessel right now. This is the only way I could talk to you, I… we're just…" He gestured around them, and finally hesitated, wondering how, exactly, Dean was going to react to this next part. "Well, we're kind of… kind of inside your head."

Dean's shoulders tensed at once, muscles pulled taut and his eyes sharpening.

Michael rushed to explain, once again, before the hunter could really get angry. "I- it was the only way I could talk to you- and- I- It's not like I'm possessing you or- or anything I just- I just needed to tell you about A- Adam and- and then I'm gonna- gonna go find a vessel but- but there wasn't much time and Father has him and I don't even know if he's alive-" He stopped, breath catching in his throat, and a rush of tears rose to his eyes. He couldn't stop them this time. The archangel raised a hand, putting it over his mouth. "I don't even know if he's alive…"

Meeting his gaze slowly, the hostility in Dean's expression faltered, and vanished. Like every last bit of anger had left the hunter, right then and there. His tense muscles seemed to relax, and while he still seemed kind of wary, he didn't seem particularly afraid, or mad - in fact, Michael would almost go as far as to say there was something akin to sympathy flickering through the hunter's deep green eyes, and he seemed to be weighing his options as he searched the archangel's gaze. There was a question there - a question Michael didn't know if he had the answer to. But he must have.

Because Dean relaxed, leaned his head back, and nodded. "He'll be fine. We're getting him back. Okay?" He narrowed his eyes at Michael, and the archangel just swallowed, struggling to pull himself together, and managed a shaky nod in response. "There we go. Keep it together, man. Freakin' out - that's not gonna help anybody. 'Specially not Adam."

Michael nodded again, and flinched as another rush of pain split through his hands - and then vanished, just as quickly. Dean's eyebrows twitched, but didn't furrow, watching him carefully. Then, finally, the hunter took a deep breath in and cleared his throat, taking a few steps closer. "Alright, now - you said you were in Hell when it happened, yeah? How long ago?"

"I don't…" Michael paused, faltered, and swallowed, his throat closing up the second he tried to speak.

"Not much time, man," Dean pressed, eyes narrowing slightly. "Deep breaths in and out, stop thinking worst-case scenarios, you're just working yourself up further. Relax. There's nothing we can do for Adam if we don't know where he is, or where he might be." The hunter's eyes narrowed slightly, lowering his chin. "So, think, how long ago did all this happen?"

The archangel opened his mouth, then closed it, struggling to think. Time passed differently in Hell, but it hadn't even felt like they were down there for that long, so it couldn't have been more than a day. Several hours, at most. And when Chuck had showed up, everything had happened so quickly - but Michael had ended up on Earth after Adam had expelled him, and it had taken him a while to remember the way back to the bunker, and an hour - maybe an hour and a half - to work up the energy to get there… "Two- two hours?" Michael mumbled, which was his best bet at this point. "Maybe more."

Dean's mouth twisted, and Michael's heart sunk slightly - that was definitely long enough for his Father to have killed Adam, but… the archangel screwed his eyes shut, swallowed, and took a deep breath in, struggling to keep himself somewhat steady. Another throb of pain hit him - this time, though, it was his head. Right behind his eyes. Colors flashed in front of him, mixing together, forming a picture. The image only lasted a second, but it was enough for him to get a glimpse of his Father, sitting behind a desk, sipping out of a glass. Startled, the archangel blinked his eyes open, sucking in a breath through his teeth.

"What is it?" Dean asked, eyes narrowed. Michael stared at him, lifting a hand to his forehead.

"I don't- I don't know, I thought- I saw my Father, but he- he… I shouldn't be…" Michael's eyebrows furrowed slightly, digging his fingers into his forehead with a deep, confused frown. "We're not connected… not anymore, not since he left, and I don't have any connections to the angels…" He trailed off, pupils shrinking, and Dean seemed to realize it when he did.

"But you have a connection to Adam," the hunter said slowly, eyes narrowing, a frown tugging at his lips now. Then, all of a sudden, it vanished, his expression seemed to light up. Michael blinked, sinking back slightly as he continued, "hey, then, he's alive. And you can tap into that connection of yours to figure out where Chuck's holding him, no problem." Dean paused, eyes narrowing again. "But if Chuck's keeping him alive, then…"

"He wants us to come get Adam," Michael mumbled, a cold feeling settling in the pit of his stomach at the thought - his best friend, used as bait. And who knows what torture Chuck was submitting him to now? "It's a trap… oh, no. Oh no."

"Wouldn't be the first one I walked into," Dean muttered, almost to himself, "but this time, I'm not walking out of there without my brother."

Michael stared at him, not quite comprehending. Okay, he liked the hunter's spirit, he did, and he liked, even more, the fact that Dean was willing to walk straight up to his Father to get Adam back - but he didn't like the idea of either of the Winchesters putting themselves in danger for a miscalculation Michael had made. That wasn't fair to either of them - and if they got hurt, that was on Michael. Adam was his body-buddy, his friend, his demon, and he'd let him push him away - so it was the archangel's job to get him back, or die trying. Not theirs.

"You can't…" He started, faltering, and Dean looked up at him, eyebrows raising. Michael swallowed, coughed, and tried again. "It's too dangerous, confronting my Father-"

"I'm well aware of that," Dean interrupted simply. "But, I hate to tell you, I really don't give a rat's ass. I left Adam behind once, and I'm not about to do it again, dangerous or not. And I'll be damned if I let that asshat be the one to take him down, after everything he's already been through. So you can go ahead, and go after him yourself, with the strength you've got left - but if you're as weak as you say you are, you're not going to last any longer going solo than we would together. So what do you think is safer - strength in numbers, or a solo rescue led by a weakened archangel?" He raised an eyebrow at Michael skeptically.

Michael faltered, at that, and bit his tongue. Dean had a point, he did - but it didn't make Michael any less nervous about pulling him into this situation. Even if he wasn't technically pulling him into it. The archangel lowered his gaze, unable to hold eye contact now, a rush of shame and guilt slamming straight into him. He should have been able to stay with Adam. He should have been strong enough. And now the demon was in trouble because of him.

"Great," Dean sounded satisfied, as if Michael had already agreed - stifling a sigh, the archangel flicked his gaze back up to the hunter, exhausted. "Now, then. We should probably wake up Sam, and-" He stopped, suddenly, a look of realization flickering across his face. His expression spasmed a bit, mixes of wariness, confusion and fear flickering through his eyes, and Michael only stared, bewildered and concerned, until the hunter had spoken again. "You need a vessel."

"Oh," Michael mumbled, grimacing a little. Right, he'd almost forgotten about that part. He still hated the idea of having to go and find one for himself - and, honestly, what was he supposed to say to the humans? 'I need your body for a bit so I can save my demon friend'? That, likely, wouldn't go over well, and Michael imagined it would take a while for him to be able to convince anybody that he was legit and not crazy, anyway, with how he was now (which, in all fairness, he was crazy), but it had to be done if he was going to get Adam back, so… "I'll go, uh… I'll go find a human that'll let me in temporarily. You can explain everything to Sam while I'm g-"

"No," Dean cut him off, and Michael paused, open-mouthed, and stared at him. The hunter just stared right back, looking deeply conflicted, before he took in a deep breath and took a slow, careful step forward. "No," he continued, lowering his voice. "There's no time. If Chuck loses his patience…" He left the sentence unfinished, and Michael paled slightly, feeling the heat drop from his face at once at what he might be insinuating. "All I'm saying- you don't have time to go and make some human your meat suit, and you need to get stronger if we're gonna face off against God," he practically spat the word out like a curse.

Almost on instinct, Michael spared a nervous look upwards before he turned his attention back to Dean, even more confused than he was when the hunter started speaking. "What… I don't understand- what are you saying?" He tilted his head, puzzled.

Dean stared at him for a moment, eyes flickering, before he set his jaw and raised his head a little bit. "I'm your true vessel, aren't I?"

"Well… I suppose so? You're my Swo-" Michael cut off, his bewildered expression dissolving into realization, and then horror, and it showed. And Dean didn't seem to be expecting that, because his eyes widened slightly in confusion when the archangel reeled back, taking several steps backwards and almost stumbling over his feet in the process. "No, no, no," he insisted, his voice beginning to shake slightly. "I can't- I won't, Dean-"

"Alright, not the reaction I was expecting," Dean admitted, looking extremely appalled now, as he stared at Michael. "Why the hell not?"

Michael stared at him, almost in disbelief now, mouth opened, eyes wide. He managed to snap his mouth shut, swallowing hard, before opening his mouth again to attempt to respond. It took him a moment to be able to spit the words out. "What- what the- what the other me did- how can- how can you even suggest- I don't…"

Dean paused, and clicked his tongue, dropping his head slightly. He let out a low, strangled-sounding sigh, but he sounded a lot more irritated than anything now. But when he spoke, his voice was quiet and controlled, softer and… defeated-sounding, more so than Michael would have ever expected from the gruff, angry hunter. "I know what the other me did. And I'm not…" He let out a low, strangled sound in the back of his throat as he lifted his head again, taking a deep breath in and letting it out in a huff. "Ever, willing to go through that again."

"I wouldn't want you to," Michael mumbled, still half-frantic. "Dean, I-"

"But you care about Adam, don't you?" Dean interrupted him, once again, and Michael fell silent, helpless. His eyebrows furrowed, unable to respond with anything more than a nod. "And that- I don't understand it. I don't understand… you. And him. And to be honest, I don't think I'll ever understand it, not really. But I do know something - and that's when you care about someone, when you really, honestly care about someone - that level of concern, that's hard to fake. And I can't imagine why… or even how it got to that point, but…"

Michael furrowed his eyebrows even further, tilting his head faintly to the side and staring at the hunter. He still didn't quite understand - hell, he was downright puzzled by Dean's words. The last he'd seen of the hunter, he wasn't exactly the archangel's biggest fan, but… Michael blinked, pursing his lips, and stayed silent, waiting for the hunter to continue.

"I know that you care about each other, and that's enough," Dean finally managed to continue, lifting his gaze back to the archangel's. "And I am so… so tired of…" The hunter clenched his teeth and lowered his chin a little. "I wanna go forward. And to do that, I gotta start walking. Now, this is our best bet to getting Adam back. So, take it or leave it… but I'm saying yes."

Michael hesitated, staring at him. This is what he'd wanted - a chance to be able to make it right with Dean, so why was he so afraid? The hunter was trusting him, or at least he was attempting to, and this was as good a chance as any to prove himself, and yet, he was just… scared. Not of Dean, but of himself. Because even if the oldest Winchester was willing to try and trust him - Michael wasn't sure how much he could trust himself.

But then he thought back to Adam, and his heart dropped.

The demon was what mattered. Michael wasn't going to do what the other him had done. At least, he didn't plan on it - and he didn't think that was going to change, not after everything. Getting Adam back was his first priority, however scared he might be, however uncertain. However hesitant. And he wouldn't do anything to put the demon in further harm, not ever. If even Dean recognized that, it was time for Michael to do the same.

It was time to trust himself.

"The second you want me to leave…" Michael started, his voice still shaking, but he was slowly beginning to calm down as his resolve strengthened, despite his lingering uncertainties. "The moment you begin to feel even slightly unsafe…"

"You give me one reason to, I'm kicking your ass to the curb," Dean replied simply. "But, here's hoping it won't come to that."

"You tell me to leave, and I will." Michael wrapped his arms around himself again. "That's what I told Adam. I still follow the rules, and- and I'll continue to do so." He faltered for a moment, mouth trembling slightly, then swallowed and looked away. "I miss him…"

"Well, let's get him back." Dean stepped forward, and the archangel winced, just slightly, despite himself. The hunter only stared at him, crossing his arms over his chest, and lifted his head. "Sooner we do that, sooner you two can go back to being joined at the… soul, or whatever." The hunter's lips twitched, and even Michael couldn't resist a small, albeit half-hearted smile in response. "So?"

Michael looked away for a moment, digging his fingers into his arms. He still hated the idea - but if it was going to get Adam back, and make Dean trust him, then it was two birds with one stone. And if it did turn out okay in the end, then… the archangel faltered, looking down. He couldn't stand the idea - the thought of the demon being out there, on his own, defenseless and facing his Father. But what he hated more, was the idea of Adam… dying.

He always thought it was God that he couldn't live without. But when his Father had abandoned him, and Adam was there, somehow, the archangel had survived. And somehow, he'd even thrived. In his own way. When he thought Lucifer was dead, he still continued to push on, kept living. But without Adam, Michael knew it was only a matter of time before he self-destructed. Like a ticking time bomb.

So, get him back. Take the offer and get him back.

Michael inhaled slowly, and lifted his gaze again. Then, slowly, hesitantly, he pulled his arms from around himself and offered a hand out to Dean. "So that's a yes?"

The hunter stared for a moment, silent, eyes narrowing in quiet consideration as he stared at the archangel's hand. For a second, Michael almost expected him to turn back on the offer. Which he wouldn't have blamed Dean for, at all. So, the archangel started to pull his hand back, opened his mouth to explain that it was okay, and that he'd find another vessel-

But before he could get too far, Dean stepped forward, reached out, and took his hand.

"Yes."