It's quiet tonight as if all the noise of a busy kingdom, all the hecticness of living life in a castle, have melted away. Instead, the quiet is left. The delicate cadence of two hearts beating together, and Shirayuki isn't sure what's more beautiful: the stars or the way that the quiet lights up Zen beside her.
It's almost unheard of for her fiancee to get a break from his royal duties for even a moment, and right now, he's smiling beside her. His blue eyes seem to be drawn heavenward, and something like nerves hits her out of the blue. She and Zen are getting married in a little over three months, what if she screws up? They've been following all the rules, dating right, and suddenly, it feels as if all of marriage has hit her like a brick.
What if on her wedding night, she fails Zen somehow? Or what if it isn't like they hoped for, and Shirayuki can't balance herbalism with royal duties? Zen had told her before that she could, that if anyone in the world could do both, it would be her. You're more than strong enough, Shirayuki. You will make the best princess that Clarines has ever seen, and you're already one of the best herbalist Clarines has ever seen.
He probably knew that she would have argued that Ryuu or Garack or someone else, any of her friends, would be the best that Clarines had ever seen, because every day they inspire her more and blow her away with their crazy amount of talent. Just, she's feeling a little small right now, as if the busyness and the stress of it all had just sunk into her bones.
Zen's eyes leave the light of the stars, and he's looking at her again, the look that only Zen gives her, and that never fails to warm up her heart, as if she were tuned to respond to him and the way he looks at her, specifically.
"What's the matter?" Zen asks, and somehow she's worried that he'll call off the wedding, if he knows how scared she is that she'll fail him somehow.
"I'm nervous." It comes out soft, but she isn't one to generally back down, so it feels wrong to not tell him how she feels, so she braves it.
"I am too." Slips out, and Shirayuki's surprised green eyes look up into his blue ones. He clarifies before the silence could even form too much around them, "I worry that I'll mess up somehow, and your happiness means too much for me to not want things to go well for you."
Shirayuki can't picture her fiancée being an awful husband for the life of her. He's honest, gentle, and sweet. He listens to her better than most; he's concerned for her own feelings before his own, and he never fails to light a spark within her. There's no way that he'll miss up marriage.
"You'll be a great husband." Shirayuki tells him, as she feels it within her bones, "I'm worried about our wedding night and if I can manage being a princess and an herbalist." She needs to speak her worries with the same simplicity that Zen spoke of his.
"I hope that I don't mess that up for you." Zen shrugs, sitting down, "I'm a little scared about that too. And, you're talented and hardworking enough that you'll be able to manage being an herbalist and a princess."
Shirayuki sits down, "I doubt you'll mess it up." It's not that Shirayuki isn't a little excited too; to take on the challenge of being a princess and an herbalist is compelling to her in a way that she never expected before she ever met Zen. Though political inquiries weren't as exciting as herbology is to her, not even close, just the idea of somehow getting through it and being made stronger by it is something that she's drawn to.
Of course, just as she's nervous about her wedding night, she's looking forward to it. It's Zen that she'll be with, and that alone gives a little bit of ease to the anxiety within her. She loves Zen more than she'd ever realized she could love a single person before, and she knows more than anyone that Zen would put her first. She feels safe with him and enjoys being around him, and she wants to somehow put Zen first, herself, to care for him through it.
It's a gift, a gift, strictly reserved for Zen, all of her. Just as she knows that he'll be gifting her all of him as well. It's nerve wracking and exciting, and she knows that whatever happens that night, it might not be easy. It might be awkward, but they'll have a whole lifetime to figure it out together, a whole lifetime to learn together, and to understand each other in a way that seems beyond anything that she can imagine right now.
With Zen, everything will be okay, even though amid the frenzy of wedding preparation and stress, nerves fill them up on the first break they've had in a while. But Zen's by her side, and Shirayuki takes his hand in hers, the way that it's always meant to be.