"I deserved it."
"Zuko, you didn't—"
"You don't get it, Katara!" He's on his feet in a flash, hands fisted in already messy dark hair. "You don't understand! I had to be perfect! I was supposed to be everything he wanted!" His head drops. "I was supposed to be the perfect son." It's barely a whisper, and his voice cracks as the tears slide down the tip of his nose and splat onto the ground.
"Zuko..." Katara stands to lay her hand on his shoulder, but he flinches violently away from her touch.
"I deserved it. I deserved everything he did…" His right eye is puffy and red when he looks at her, distress etched in each subtle line on his face. "I could never be what he wanted to make me, and he made sure that I knew it. And even though everything is so different now..." he looks out to the balcony, moonlight filtering through gauzy red flooding their bedroom in pale pink. "I still feel like a failure."
"Zuko," she takes his hand to try to lead him back to the bed, but he doesn't budge. "You're not a failure."
"But I still feel like one, Katara. When will it end? Am I going to be like this forever?" His hands are back in his hair, knuckles white with the strain of his emotions pulling tight against his skin. "I can't— it's too much, Katara!" She's never seen so much anguish in his eyes, and tears fall from her own eyes to match Zuko's. "Some days I feel like I just can't keep doing this."
"Doing what?"
"Everything! All of it!" He shakes his head back and forth and takes a step back from her, his arms coming down from his hair to wrap tightly around himself. "I can't, Katara. I don't deserve any of this. And—" more tears fall down and are swallowed by the plush, crimson carpet. "I still see his face." Zuko's own face crumples, and his eyes squeeze shut to block out what she knows are flashbacks. "I still see him with his hand out and—" A sob rips through him, and when Katara goes to embrace him, he drags her down to the floor with him as he falls to his knees and weeps.
He breaks like this every so often. When the paperwork piles up and the colonies are going through a drought and there's another economic crisis just over the horizon. The tension in his back is testament to how long he's been holding everything in, and it breaks her heart, but all she can do is hold him close and cry with him. She's the only one that shares his secrets when he has to mask himself to the whole world, save for the moon and stars.