200 reviews... honestly, guys, I'm shook. So, as a thank-you, I present to you an extra long Special Chapter! XDDD But seriously, thank you all for reading, and for the lovely reviews and the support and just- all of it. I really appreciate it all, and I'm so, so happy you're all enjoying reading the story as much as I've been enjoying writing it. And I hope you like where I take it.
We're almost at the end, guys. Hope you're ready.
Stay tuned. I love you. :3
"God."
Adam stood rigid, arms crossed over his chest, watching Bela warily as she paced from one end of the room to the other. Her expressions were flipping faster than the channels on TV, ranging from a disconcerted grimace to a furious scowl and just about everything in between. It was so intense, her anger, that Adam could almost feel it radiating from her. His mouth twisted sharply in response, flicking his gaze away from her for a second and choosing instead to let his eyes roam around the hotel room, just for a good few seconds, before he had to turn back to her again. He wasn't sure what else there was to say; He had told her most things on his end, after insisting that she bring him back to the hotel first, but she was still having some trouble grasping certain… aspects. At least, it seemed like it. If not, then, well, she was a good actress.
"God," Bela repeated herself through clenched teeth. It seemed to be a little less believable every time she said it, because the amount of scorn in her voice as she spoke next made Adam's nose wrinkle. She didn't sound quite skeptical, though. The scorn seemed to come from a place of rage - and the kind of disbelief that came with a 'this can't be happening' situation. She whipped around to face him, and Adam had to force his expression to relax as his lips curled back somewhat instinctively into a snarl. "God?" She hissed at him. "Really?"
"So I'm going to assume this means you didn't know who he was when-"
"Shut up- shut up!" Bela shook her head and brought her hands up to the sides of her face, turning away from him to continue pacing once again, and Adam twitched slightly in response but he snapped his mouth shut dutifully and looked away again, huffing out a sigh through his nose. He should be heading to the park by now, meeting Michael by the swings or something like they so often did in their dreams, but instead he was here. But, he tried to remind himself, that was a good thing. This meant maybe he could still save her, right? Judging by her reaction, she clearly had no idea what she had walked into. And Adam still didn't have the full story from her - something he still wanted before he left, if that was possible at all…
"Okay- okay." Bela cleared her throat, seemingly composing herself once again, and Adam arched an eyebrow questioningly as she turned back to him. "So you're a Winchester," she started, and he nodded. "You were stuck in Lucifer's Cage with an archangel and only recently got out because of an apocalypse that God- God- started-" Adam nodded again, good, she was getting it now. "And you've been lying to me this entire time," she continued, her tone turning venomous, to which Adam visibly paused his nodding, "because you think he sent me-"
"Ah- well- word in the grapefruit is that he did." Adam tapped the side of his skull, then crossed his arms again. "According to my old body-buddy, who got the info directly from God himself. Apparently," he raised his voice when Bela opened her mouth to protest, the other demon practically seething now as she glared at him. "You were sent to lead me on this grand mission to the dark side, complete with anti-hero training and all." He flicked his wrist toward the lamp beside the bed, turning it off and then on again as if to prove his own point.
"It wasn't all like that, okay?" Bela quipped back, the fury in her tone making her voice quiver with anticipation as she began pacing again. Adam heaved out a sigh - mostly because watching her, at this point, was just beginning to make him dizzy, and leaned back with a frown as he waited for her to tell him exactly 'how it was like'. "Look- okay, so I did- run into him. Well, he ran into me," she finally admitted, somewhat begrudgingly, and Adam quirked an eyebrow. "And yes, maybe he did send me to… help you along with your powers…" She began, "but I didn't have the slightest clue that he was God-" She made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat - much to Adam's surprise - as she turned back to face him. "Nor that he wanted me to train you to kill the Winchesters. Or, hell, that you were a Winchester, yourself!"
Adam didn't quite dismiss these words; Rather, he thought them over carefully, taking them with a grain of salt in the process. The possibility that she could still be lying to him made it hard to trust her, especially considering she had lied to him. Maybe not as intensely as he might have thought before, maybe, but she had still lied, which meant she could still be lying, so caution was his friend right then. With that said, the hope that he could save her had been fully renewed, and so Adam had to tread lightly on that aspect, as well. Driving her away could be a grave mistake. The demon opened his mouth to respond - then paused, blinked, and frowned.
Something was wrong.
He didn't know what it was. It was just a feeling; Like a lump had risen to his throat, and then dropped straight to his stomach, taking his heart along with it. It was something akin to the feeling he got when he was up high, or falling. But this was much more jarring somehow, and a little more unnerving than terrifying. It was like knowing something was about to jump out at you, but not knowing what, when, or where. Like every part of him was on high-alert and he didn't even know what for. He ran his tongue over his lips and looked away from Bela for a moment, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath in a half-hearted attempt to stifle the feelings for now. But even then, for all his efforts, he couldn't shake it. He felt it, deep in his bones, something bad was happening - or had already happened? But he just couldn't grasp what.
Adam frowned and shook his head a little, taking a deep breath and bringing his attention back to the other demon. Bela was just staring at him, blue eyes narrowed coldly, and Adam grimaced slightly as he forced his focus back onto her, reluctantly putting the twisting, anxious feeling to the back of his mind for the time being. Or, at least, trying to. "I did what I had to do," he told her carefully, scrutinizing her expression carefully; Bela's mouth twisted sharply into a frown, but she didn't say anything yet, just watching him. "Yeah, okay, I lied to you. And you know what? I kinda hated every damn second of it. But I wasn't about to just lead you to my brothers until I was sure you weren't going to try to kill them. So I'm sorry, but-"
"It would have been nice to know you didn't want to kill them," Bela interrupted sharply, and Adam sighed, mouth open, and snapped it shut at once to listen to her. "I thought we were in the same boat, you know. That's what you told me, isn't it? They betrayed you, too. Left you to rot in Hell. Or was that a lie, too?" She stepped forward. "How much of what you told me were lies?"
"Hey, what I told you was the truth," Adam shot back, eyes narrowing faintly. "They did leave me to rot in Hell. And I was pissed at them - I was so pissed at them for the longest time, but you know what? I got over it. Being pissed didn't do shit for me, and in the end-" He gestured slightly at nothing in particular before crossing his arms over his chest again, his frown twisting into a scowl. "It turns out that they were innocent all along. Everything that happened was the fault of none other than God himself. So if you're looking for someone to blame-"
"I don't care about that anymore!" Bela snarled, eyes turning black, and Adam jerked back slightly despite himself, taking up a somewhat defensive stance now and curling his hands into fists, fingers digging into the fabric of his suit as the other demon took a few steps forward. "God, the Winchesters, hell- Satan, for fuck's sake! I don't care whose fault it was. That's not my issue right now. My issue is-" She cut herself off, pausing, and leaned away slightly for a moment. The scowl on her face dropped to somewhat of a neutral expression, as if she was reigning her own anger in, and Adam watched silently as she struggled to pull herself together. "You know what?" She sounded calm now - too calm - and Adam's eyebrows furrowed together slightly as the other demon took a few steps away. "There's no reason for me to be here."
Finally, Adam faltered, if only slightly. The guarded mask he had pulled up around himself crumbled, just a little bit, just enough to allow her a brief entrance - but, he knew, it might be too late. Something had scared her, but Adam didn't even think it had been him in particular; It had been a simple, quiet, fleeting thought of her own, something she had just been about to say, but then realized at the last moment. And she'd reeled herself in, brought up her own walls again. It was like a twisted, broken game between them; They'd dance around each other, wanting to get close but never quite able to do so before one or both of them put up the defenses yet again.
Adam took a deep breath, struggling to let down his walls just enough for her to get through. "Bela," he started, somewhat hesitantly now. "Yeah, I lied to you. And I'm sorry. But I did what I had to do for my family, and…" His mouth went dry as he realized the words that had slipped from his mouth, just past his tongue, so foreign and yet oddly familiar and comfortable, even, in the most twisted sort of way. Here he stood, so long after insisting Sam and Dean weren't his family, they were just his blood, nothing more than familiar strangers that had left him in Hell - it was funny, sometimes, how easily it all flipped around. And how oddly normal it felt to call them family. And how much he wanted them to be family, even if he wasn't sure they were yet.
"Everyone else be damned, right?" Bela muttered under her breath, just loud enough for Adam to hear. "I'll tell you one thing- you're definitely a Winchester," she snapped at him. "Nobody else matters but family, right? It doesn't matter who else you have to push to the side, or who you have to lie to and manipulate and betray as long as, in the end, you have each other and yourselves." Something in her expression seemed to falter, and yet it just gave way to more anger in the end, something even Adam couldn't understand. "The things you do for family."
Adam frowned, silent, uncomprehending, before asking quietly, "and what about you?"
"What?" Bela shook her head a little, as if snapping herself from a daze, her own twisted jumble of her own thoughts. They seemed treacherous, even to him; Adam wondered how conflicted she was feeling right then, because he knew for sure that the myriad of emotions flickering through his chest was enough to give him pause right then, too.
"I mean, have you never had that? That kind of- unconditional loyalty? The- hell, the obligation," Adam noted, his voice growing slightly softer as he looked away from her, getting somewhat lost in his own thoughts now, himself, as his mouth twisted into a frown yet again. "I mean, yeah, okay, sure, there's things you'll do for family that maybe you won't be able to do for anyone else. But family doesn't have to just- to just be family, y'know, doesn't have to be- to be just… blood," he added, thinking back to Michael. "Honestly, I don't think family has anything to do with relation. Just… feeling. So yeah- maybe I do put family above everything else. But I don't think that's a bad thing." He gripped his suit a little tighter, fingers burrowing deep into his arms as he fixed his gaze on the carpet, his frown relaxing into a neutral expression. "You don't know what it feels like." It wasn't a question; it was an observation.
"No, I don't," Bela responded stiffly, her voice strained now, shaking with some barely-repressed emotion that was threatening to make its way to the surface. "My own actual relatives were high-class pieces of shit and, indirectly, the reason I went to Hell in the first place. As for that feeling you're talking about, I've never felt like that about anyone. Not a soul." Adam glanced up for a second, watching her expression shift. "But you know what? I almost did. Just for a moment. Until I, once again, got reminded of one thing."
"And what's that?" Adam asked quietly, lifting his chin a little and staring at her.
"Family sucks." Bela's lips curled back into a sneer, and she turned away from him at last. Adam didn't respond to that, just set his mouth into a grimace and looked away. She reminded him so much of himself, and just because of that, he knew nothing he could say would get through to her right now. She was hurt, and betrayed, and pissed. This wasn't about God, or the Winchesters, or any of that anymore; This was about the fact that he had lied to her. She had been honest with him - at least on some level - and he had lied. Just another reason why he valued integrity. And just another reason why he was determined not to let that slip away again.
"I wish you well, Adam, I really do." Bela grabbed her bag from beside the bed, lightly shrugging it over one shoulder. "If you want to play house with the Winchesters, then go right ahead."
"What about you?" Adam sighed, shifting to lean against the wall now. He wanted to stop her, he did - he wanted to beg her not to go, in all honesty, but he wasn't going to do that. She was too angry, too betrayed, to listen to anything he was going to say now. He was surprised, though, to be completely honest, that she wasn't attacking him. That she wasn't screaming at him, at least. Adam knew he'd definitely be screaming.
"I'm going to keep searching for the ring I was promised. God knows I'm not getting it from him now."
Adam furrowed his eyebrows as she laughed, sharply, shortly, no humor to her tone, just a cold sense of bitterness. Every part of him ached to take that away, because he knew what it felt like, and how much it hurt. Betrayal was one of the worst feelings to hold onto, because it didn't just sting emotionally - no, it was much more physical, the pain throbbing deep down in your bones, pumping through your veins, pounding at your heart and threatening to break your ribcage open. He wanted to free her from that, from the pain he had caused, but he didn't know how.
He was a Winchester, alright.
"Well, I failed," Bela huffed a little. "I was supposed to get you to the Winchesters, but, you know what? I don't even care about that anymore. Nor do I care about that stupid ring - but I'm going to find it anyway, because apparently the whole game is rigged, and I don't get played. Not even by God himself," she sneered, lips curling back into a snarl, and Adam almost smiled - he didn't, though, as fierce as she was, and as much as he wanted to.
"Good luck."
Bela shook her head a little and mumbled something under her breath - something that sounded awfully close to "go to hell" - before she whirled around and left the hotel room. The door slammed shut behind her, hard enough to rock the room, and Adam only turned his head slightly to the side as the lamp on the nightstand shook, tilted, and began to fall; He raised one hand, stopping it with ease, and a flick of his wrist balanced it right back where it had been standing moments before. Well, he'd done it; He'd come clean, and he'd paid the price of his own dishonesty, and been reminded of why he hated lying in the first place. Which was both a good thing and a bad thing, because for Adam Milligan, it meant he wouldn't be lying to anyone else any time soon after this. Too much at stake. Too much left to lose. He should've considered that from the get-go, and then maybe he wouldn't be standing here alone, numb yet aching.
He flicked his eyes toward the ceiling and frowned, just slightly, to himself. That feeling was back, the rock in his stomach, the twisting of his gut and the pain in his chest. But it was accompanied by something else, now, some kind of growing fear, anxiety, one he was familiar with - but this was stronger than what he was used to from Michael, and it was concerning.
But, with the reminder of Michael, Adam realized, he really should be heading off. He had a long walk ahead of him, after all, but luckily for him, he knew the way to the park from here.
Adam rubbed his eyes and looked around for a moment, glancing toward his own bag. There was nothing important inside, just clothes, some of the suits Bela had gotten him. But he found himself picking it up anyway before he headed for the door, somewhat reluctantly. A part of him wanted to get a quick shower in before he left, but he decided against it. He was already running way later than he had planned, so it'd be better just to get this over with and get back to his body-buddy as soon as he could while he still had some sanity left.
He brushed off the first flash of pain he felt - nothing too strong, just a sharp twinge down his spine, across his shoulders. Figured it was just from being so stiff all day, rolled his shoulders back a little and continued on his way, stretching slightly in the process. He still had a long way to go - he could relax once he got to the park. Everything would be fine, right? He was going to meet up with Michael, they were going to be together again, and while Adam knew a strong part of him would never really forget about Bela - he could try to do something else right for her. He was realizing, though, he had wanted to save her from Chuck all along, keep her from being a puppet, from being manipulated, and he hadn't really seen that he had been manipulating her, himself, in so many different ways. But, with that in mind came a clearer thought.
She knew everything now, and she had made the choice of walking away, from both him and from Chuck. So maybe, in a way, Adam had still saved her. He hoped so, at least.
Adam had determined, by the time he reached the park, something was very, very wrong. But it wasn't on his end, no; The sickening feeling wasn't coming from him, not really, he just hadn't realized it before because he was feeling it just as strongly as the one who was in trouble; There was only one thought in his mind, a half-baked, desperate one, a single word, a name, one that suddenly felt all too far away and yet it had never been closer than this moment.
Michael. Something was wrong with Michael.
The demon paused beside one of the benches. He had yet to actually enter the park completely, the sign just up ahead, several feet away. Children were laughing, dancing across the playground he had once ruled over, but that wasn't his concern right then. He reached out, quietly gripping onto the back of the bench for a moment with one hand and screwing his eyes shut as tight as he could. Whatever was wrong with Michael, Adam couldn't figure it out. The anxiety on his end had turned into flat-out fear, a bone-chilling, sickening kind of terror - and Adam knew, he knew what it was, and what had to be wrong, but he was hoping with every fiber of his being that he was wrong this time because if it was what he thought it was…
Halo, Adam prodded at the connection, no longer being careful with it, no longer cautious and taking it slow. No, he pushed and shoved at it, struggling to break past whatever barrier was still somehow holding them apart. He sucked in a stuttering, shaky breath and ended up holding it for a good few seconds, the burning feeling creeping up in his lungs giving him some sort of feeling to replace the sudden numbness that had engulfed him. There was no response from Michael's end, but there didn't need to be, either; With one final shove, the dam broke, and everything came pouring in. Adam doubled over slightly, hands falling from the bench, curling around his knees, eyes screwing shut tightly as a thousand new images stabbed into his head. They swirled around and played over and over again, memories but not his own, and he only caught brief glimpses. Until, suddenly, finally, everything slowed, stopped, and began again.
This time, he could see it all too clearly. Chuck had escaped, and they were fighting him; He felt his breath leave him as Michael was slammed up against the wall, and his choked screams of concern were swallowed down through the demon's desperation, fingers gripping a little tighter into the fabric beneath his hands as he struggled to hold onto the vision unraveling before him. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be facing Chuck alongside Michael, the archangel shouldn't be going through this alone, that wasn't fair. But it was happening.
Adam wasn't there.
"Oh, no," the demon mumbled frantically, feeling dizzy enough to fall to his knees now, but he held himself up carefully, steadily, breathing somewhat heavily now as he struggled to hold onto the connection. Watching wasn't helping him by any means; He had to get there, he had to get to Michael, but there was nothing he could do now. There was no way he'd be able to get to the archangel in time. Michael was in danger, and Adam couldn't do a damn thing-
He froze, choking in a gasp, strangled and choked, as a rush of pain split through his stomach. It was enough to send him staggering, fumbling to hold onto something. His hand managed to latch onto part of the bench as he went crashing down to his knees, the other one flying down to cover his stomach. There was nothing there, no wound, no blood, nothing, but he could feel the pain and the stickiness against his fingers, clinging to his skin and the fabric of his clothes. And he could feel the pain ripping through him harsher than anything he'd ever felt before, only to be replaced with cold only moments later, and then a sharp, numbing, tingling kind of feeling.
In all honesty, for a good few seconds, it felt like floating.
He shuddered at the feeling of blood bubbling to his lips, forcing its way up his throat. There was nothing there, though, even though he could feel it like it was his own. He saw Sam's face on one side, felt his hands over the wound. He heard Castiel's voice mumbling in his ear. He heard Michael, soft and desperate and praying to himself. Not for himself, but for Dean, Adam thought he heard, the silent begging that the hunter would stay alive. Something was wrong with Dean- something had happened to Dean-
The pain began to ebb away. Then it was numb again, still cold and tingling, still wrong. Only for something a little warmer to spread through him, bringing up a rush of dizziness in the process. Adam knew what was happening immediately; Michael was healing Dean, he was using up whatever was left of his powers to do it, and the demon choked out a quiet, strangled, "no", as he doubled over, still gripping his stomach, silently pleading for the archangel to stop. But he didn't, not until the rest of the pain and the freezing numbness was gone, until all that was left was the sickening, nauseating dizziness spinning Adam in circles.
He couldn't breathe. He wondered if Michael could.
For a while, he was able to hold on. The connection grew stronger and stronger the more he focused on it. But the dizziness wasn't letting up, the darkness flickering at his vision was showing no signs of relenting to him just yet. His lungs were burning, and he felt like he was choking on his own blood, even though that couldn't possibly be the case. No, Adam couldn't breathe, he couldn't even get in a tiny gasp of air, nothing to satisfy the aching in his lungs.
Maybe that was why he didn't fight when the darkness pulled him under - in a way, it was welcomed, because it, miraculously, took that burning feeling away.
"Adam. Adam!"
Adam's eyes snapped open, sucking in a sharp, stuttering breath. The air that filled his lungs was welcoming, but startling at the same time. The burning feeling didn't fade away - nor did the nausea and the dizziness, or the pain that was splitting through his stomach at that moment. He clenched his teeth tight as he struggled to push himself to sit up, pushing at the hands hovering around him, trying to help him up. They weren't Michael's hands, and that wasn't Michael's voice, and the face hovering over him was unfamiliar through the hazy blur he was staring through. So to him, at this moment, the man in front of him was a total stranger and Adam just wasn't having any of that. Yeah, so he'd passed out, big deal. Didn't mean he couldn't sit up.
He exhaled sharply and brought a hand to his stomach, half-expecting to feel some kind of wound there, to feel the blood on his fingers. But when he looked down, nothing was there; It was kind of funny, because he could still feel it sticking to him, but there was no blood, no wound, not even a rip in his suit. He was dirty, though, he noticed immediately - having taken his fall to the ground, he assumed, but that wasn't his concern right then. He was aware that he had passed out, obviously enough, but the reasoning behind that was still a little hazy, as well as why the hell he was in pain at the moment, too. He winced a little when he shifted, gripping his stomach a little tighter and finally bringing his gaze up to see who was in front of him.
For a second, even as the blurriness cleared up - the dizziness remained, but it became somewhat bearable for the time being - he couldn't recognize the man he was staring at. Blinking rapidly, he screwed his face up and narrowed his eyes, starting to curl his lips back and snarl - and then those blue eyes narrowed, darkening slightly at the hostility written across Adam's face, and the demon realized it at once.
"Luce?" Adam mumbled, not sure whether to be relieved or even more confused. Right, that was Lucifer - but it was the form he'd taken in the Empty, and, on occasion, in the Cage. It was weird, not seeing him with innocent, childlike features, but he pushed those thoughts aside for the time being, twisting a little to try and stand up and keeping one hand over his stomach.
"Easy," Lucifer warned him with a sigh, and Adam's face screwed up again as he opened his mouth to snarl out a response - only to cut off with a gasp when he was suddenly hauled right to his feet, another pair of hands gripping his arms from behind and lifting him right up off the ground. He twisted at once, ready to fight back, until yet another rush of dizziness slammed straight into him, knocking his breath away and bringing up another sharp jolt of pain to his stomach, causing him to double over again, teeth bared in a snarl. "Gabriel, careful."
"People are watching, Luci," Gabriel muttered under his breath, pointedly. "We gotta go." Lifting his head, somewhat reluctantly, Adam turned to glance around, finally managing to jerk himself out of the archangel's grip. He went stumbling forward, only for Lucifer to grab him by the shoulder and heave him back toward Gabriel, who once more took hold of his arms, a little more tightly this time to ensure he couldn't get away. Adam was growing more and more desperate to do just that, now, simply because he knew he was being restrained.
He also realized that they were in the park; How Lucifer and Gabriel had gotten to him, Adam had absolutely no idea. Maybe Michael had told them where the park was, or-
Michael. Wait.
Another horrible realization set in, short and sudden, but it turned the nauseous uncertainty into full-on anxiety when it finally hit him. He couldn't feel the archangel there; Not just his emotions, or his thoughts, but his presence had all but vanished from the demon's mind. Like their connection had been severed. He was gone; Michael was gone. His consciousness, his emotions, his thoughts, all of it. Adam couldn't feel him there anymore. The terror was sickening, and he felt just about ready to throw up, turning his half-desperate gaze to Lucifer. "Michael," he mumbled, watching the Devil pause at the name. "Where's Michael?"
"On his way to the bunker, with the Winchesters," Lucifer muttered, then, abruptly, he snapped his mouth shut and looked back up at Gabriel. Before Adam could twist around to look at the archangel, a pair of wings were wrapped around him. They felt nothing like Michael's giant feather-dusters - they were somewhat smaller, in a way, and a little lighter in color. Yet, at the same time, the color wasn't one he could quite make out; like it wasn't just one in particular, or at least not one Adam could decipher, like it wasn't even a color a human could make out. In a way, it was somewhat mesmerizing - lucky for him, because it took away from the nausea when the park suddenly shifted around them, when the ground disappeared from beneath his feet, until there were familiar walls closing around him instead and by the time the wings pulled away, he knew exactly where they were and aside from being in his own head with Michael, since their separation, he had never felt anywhere else that felt more like home.
Adam took a deep breath and looked around, feeling a numbing sort of relief. He was back in the bunker - a place he couldn't even believe he'd missed in the first place - but his attention focused back on Michael rather quickly. "Is he okay?" He turned back to Lucifer. "I can't-"
"Look, Adam, why don't you sit down," Lucifer interrupted, and Adam blinked, watching as the Devil gestured toward one of the tables. At this point, Gabriel had retreated to sit down, himself, putting his head in his hands with his elbows propped up on the table. He looked… distraught, to say the least - and, flicking his gaze back and forth between the archangel and Lucifer, Adam began to realize that neither of them were looking too hot. Lucifer had a strained expression on his face, a mixture of stress and defeat flickering through his eyes, mouth twisted into a frown. He couldn't seem to hold Adam's gaze for more than a second, either, eyes bouncing around frantically around the room but never quite able to focus on one thing in particular.
Maybe Adam wasn't as good at reading Lucifer as he was at reading Michael, but he could still fucking tell when something was up, and this was enough to send his heart plummeting to his already-twisting stomach, doubling the nausea ten-fold. And, so, he moved over to sit down, not just from the Devil's request, but because if he didn't, he was going to pass out again.
"Start talking," he ground out, teeth gritting together as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger with one hand, the other still clutching his stomach. His lips curled back slightly, taking in a deep breath and trying to force back the feeling of the blood sticking to his skin, the pain tearing his stomach apart from the inside out. It wasn't real - phantom pain, and he knew that, because he, himself wasn't wounded. He was just feeling the pain of Dean's injuries, due to his connection with Michael. In a way, it was kind of grounding, kind of relieving, because it meant that he wasn't completely disconnected from him. At the same time, it was somewhat of a terrifying thought, because there was a possibility the connection had spread to Dean, instead, and that was the last thing Adam wanted…
Still, through the pain, he glared up at Lucifer, determined to get some answers. The Devil looked down at him, blue eyes narrowing faintly, but he didn't seem hostile or upset - just contemplative, and somewhat hesitant. When he spoke, though, he spoke bluntly, which Adam was both grateful for and hated at the same time, because it brought the nausea to its peak. "Michael's unconscious," Lucifer sighed, leaning over the table across from him and crossing his arms with a frown. "Shit happened, Chuck escaped, and Dean got hurt in the fight. Michael tried to heal him and bit off a little more than he could chew and knocked himself out. He's been out for a good few hours now, ever since they left the house, according to Dean."
Adam shook his head a little, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds and struggling to focus his attention on not throwing up. Obviously, he could definitely do without the nausea. He wasn't even sure it was related to what Lucifer had just told him, or his own anxiety about Michael at all - it was just there, and it was starting to get on his nerves. Either way, beyond that, he didn't know whether to be relieved or even more scared for his best friend. Because, on one hand, at least he wasn't dead. He'd just tired himself out, it sounded like. But on the other hand, he had already been on thin fucking ice with his powers, but he'd never knocked himself out before. Oh, Adam was going to give him hell when he woke up, that was for sure.
"Michael…" Adam mumbled under his breath, pressing the heel of his hand into one of his eyes and pressing his hand a little tighter into his stomach when another rush of pain split through him. It was beginning to dull a little bit - not the pain, itself, really, but more or less, his focus on it, as he was growing a little more used to the sharp throbs at that point. Lucifer let out a quiet hum - "mhm" - and pulled a chair out to sit down in front of him, looking over at Gabriel; The archangel had his head buried into his arms now, eyes shut, and… fast asleep, snoring away. Adam narrowed his eyes faintly, but he said nothing, while Lucifer's expression softened.
"Gabriel," he called quietly, causing his brother to twitch and raise his head again, somewhat reluctantly, propping his chin up in his hands instead with a low mumble of "m'awake". Lucifer just shook his head a little, jerking his head toward the doorway, where the hallway led toward the bedrooms. "Go get in a bed or something. The Winchesters have several guest rooms-" The Devil rolled his eyes. "I don't think they'll mind if you occupy one of them."
Gabriel gave him a doubtful look, glancing toward the stairs.
"I'll wake you up when they get here," Lucifer added, quirking an eyebrow, and with that promise, Gabriel let out a low grunt and heaved himself up out of the chair, stumbling a few steps but managing to balance himself easily enough. "Rowena's on her way, right?"
"Yeah. She had a few things to grab… somethin' about protection spells," Gabriel muttered, yawning, and Adam arched an eyebrow. Protection against God, he presumed, which was actually somewhat amusing. No, let God come. Adam was going to punch him right in his dumb, stupid face and make him pay for hurting Dean - and, by extention, Michael. The demon twisted his mouth a little bit, watching as Lucifer just nodded, and Gabriel slipped through the gap in the tables and clapped a hand over the Devil's shoulder as he passed. "Later, losers."
Adam rolled his eyes and looked back down, forcing a deep breath in. His lungs were still aching, to some extent - he was having trouble breathing in as deeply as he would have liked, only managing either short, silent gasps or nothing at all. He still felt like his stomach was splitting open, but at this point he was doing his best to ignore it, because thinking about it was just making it hurt a little bit worse. The demon ran his tongue over his lips and leaned back in the chair, still not quite able to remove his hand from his stomach; He glanced up just as Lucifer's eyes darted downwards, a frown twisting at the Devil's mouth.
"Are you hurt?"
"No," Adam grunted, closing his eyes for a moment and breathing in slowly through his nose, yet another attempt at reigning in the nausea churning and boiling in his gut. He made no effort to explain further, and Lucifer didn't ask; Leaning forward, the Devil folded his hands across the table, and Adam cracked his eyes open again to stare at him. For a while, they simply held eye contact, no words spoken, just lost in their own thoughts for the time being - until Adam broke the silence, somewhat tiredly. "So how'd you even find me? Thought I was off the radar."
"You were," Lucifer noted, the frown on his face fading into a neutral expression as he shrugged at the demon. "And then you weren't. I guess whatever was keeping us from you was coming from some kind of… external source." The Devil paused, and Adam dropped his gaze for a moment, shaking his head a little bit and running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. They both knew who Lucifer was referring to, and mentioning her wasn't quite necessary right then - but Lucifer must have felt the need to, because after a few seconds, he added, "so what happened to Bela?"
"She left," Adam replied blankly, dropping his hand back onto the table and curling his fingers into a fist, not looking up now. He didn't want to see Lucifer's expression, he didn't want to hear his reaction - he didn't even want to think about Bela right then. He wasn't angry at her, and to be completely honest, he understood why she had decided to leave. But if he thought about it, he would get upset, and he had enough on his plate right then. "Said screw you and screw God and walked out the door. Which, I guess, isn't so bad." He offered a one-shouldered shrug, heaving out a soft sigh and finally looking up. Not at Lucifer, but past him, fixing his eyes on the bookshelves behind the Devil and twisting his mouth sharply into a grimace.
"Yeah, hey, we could always use more Dad haters," Lucifer commended, a dry smile cracking across his lips, and Adam reluctantly flicked his gaze back to the Devil. "As long as she's not out there causing trouble, I guess. The last thing we need is another villain right now."
Adam fell silent for a moment, thinking back to what Michael had told him before. Chuck's plan hadn't concerned him, to be honest; After all, he could stop himself if he knew what not to do, right? And he could control his own powers enough to not burn off the rest of his humanity - and, beyond that, what would happen if he did, anyway? He was part archangel, would that influence anything? And would it matter if the demon part of him overpowered the human? A part of him was curious as to how much would change, but the rest of him was starting to take Michael's concerns to heart. It didn't take much to scare the archangel. Adam knew that. But his fear had struck something, mostly because of the reasons behind it; Michael had watched his own brother be twisted into a villain for his Father's entertainment, and the thought of that happening to Adam - well, obviously, it would scare the hell out of him. Adam frowned.
"Luce," he started, the grimace returning, and Lucifer raised his head at once, eyebrows quirking slightly in response. "When Chuck made you into a villain, did you know?"
"I've known the game was rigged from the get-go, Adam," Lucifer replied at once, simple and casual as he leaned back in his chair and flicked a bit of lint off of his sleeve. "Ever since I was created, I've known it, even when I didn't know it. I knew he didn't care. Not about me, not about the angels, not about Heaven or Earth or the humans. The second he started creating, I knew it was all just one big story, a show, a game, and I knew it was all for him." He spread his hands out slightly, shrugging. "So when he decided to make me the villain, I went along with it. Thought, to hell with it, fine, let's do this. I already hated him. This just made it official."
Adam exhaled and leaned his head back for a moment, narrowing his eyes up at the ceiling. It wasn't fair, the idea of Chuck just using them for his own twisted entertainment. Like they really were nothing - like that was the only reason for their existence. His mouth twisted, face pinching up in frustration as he struggled past the fury. "But you didn't fight it?"
"Buddy, I fought it from day one," Lucifer told him, crossing his arms over his chest. "Resisted, forced myself to love him even though I didn't- not really, not as much as I was supposed to. Not as much as Michael did, as the others…" He trailed off. "Which, I guess, is what made it easier for me to rebel in the end. It's like I told him, you know - back in Stull Cemetery. You were there," he reminded the demon, frowning. "God made me who I am. God wanted the Devil. It was all coming in the long run, one way or another. I just stopped fighting because I figured I could convince everyone else to see what I saw. Didn't work the way I planned, but it didn't matter." He narrowed his eyes slightly, and Adam sank back again, looking down. "Adam, you're not me. Forget Chuck, forget God. Me being the Devil just stemmed from feelings that already existed toward my Father. If I had really wanted to, I could have fought him. Truth was, I just took the chance to turn against him when it was offered to me, and that's just that."
"And what if I took the chance to turn against the Winchesters while it's being offered to me?" Adam countered, eyes narrowing slightly, as he flicked his gaze back to Lucifer. "I mean, what if I was still angry at them? What if I still wanted revenge? What then?"
Lucifer shrugged. "That would depend on how strong-willed you were, I guess. Whether you could tough it out despite your anger and continue to go against what Chuck wants, or whether you'd give in and let yourself become the new villain. But would you be sitting here talking about this, worrying about it, if you didn't already know that it wasn't what you wanted? And don't lie to me, Adam-" The Devil added, as the demon opened his mouth to object. "You're worried. Deal."
Adam grimaced. "I'm not worried about me."
It only took a second for the realization to set in, flitting across Lucifer's face silently, accompanied by something akin to regret, and yet, not quite. "Michael," the Devil noted, his voice going just a little softer as he shook his head. "There's nothing you can do about that," he told Adam tiredly, "Michael's going to worry about this until it's over. Doesn't matter what you do or what you say to him to convince him otherwise. It's not that he doesn't trust you. It's just that trust didn't work out so well for him when it was me, and whether or not, deep down, he knows you well enough to know there's no way in hell you'll let Chuck get the last word on your fate here, he's going to freak out about it because it's Michael, and he's been down this road before."
Adam fell silent for a moment, letting out a soft sigh and looking away. Boy, if that wasn't the truth, Adam didn't know what was. It was almost comforting, hearing it out loud, in some twisted sort of way. The demon had known it all along, but to know that someone else knew it, too, it helped him relax somehow. He let a quiet, dry smile curl at his lips, staring at the table. "Yeah."
"It could be worse," Lucifer added conversationally, his voice a little quieter. "You could actually be a heartless asshole who would be willing to put him through that again - I mean, Dad knows I was. But that's not you. It's never been you." He heaved out a sigh and closed his eyes, as Adam's eyes flicked back up to him again, eyebrows furrowing. "You care about him too much. That's why you didn't rip Sam and Dean apart the first time you saw them again and that's why you decided to go along with them, here, in the bunker, that's why you're trying to forgive them. He's what influences most of your decisions, he's what makes them matter. He doesn't make you better, but he makes you want to make you better." Lucifer fell silent for a moment, flicking his gaze down to his hands. "... that's always been a talent of his."
Adam blinked back at him, eyebrows furrowing together slightly. He didn't say anything for a while, just letting those words sink in, before finally just shaking his head and clearing his throat. "That's Michael for you. He's just so… so good that it makes you want to try to be that good, too, you know? Like there'd ever be a chance anyone could, but it sure as hell makes it worth a try." He shook his head a little, almost amused. "Don't know how he does it."
"Oh, nobody knows," Lucifer chuckled a little. "It's just who he is."
Adam grinned a little to himself and shook his head again, rubbing a hand down his face. The rest of his anxiety had fizzled out during the conversation, a little more confident now, somehow. He still felt nauseous, and his stomach still hurt like hell, but for the time being, he was okay. The demon was, at least, feeling a little better about both the Michael situation and the villain situation; Michael would wake up, and when he did, they'd be back together again. And then maybe the archangel wouldn't have to worry so much about him going dark side - after all, with Michael with him, Adam was pretty sure it was less possible than it already felt.
They sat there in silence after that. Adam kept his hand on his stomach, still trying to hold in blood that wasn't flowing. There was no point to it, to be honest, the contact didn't make it hurt any less, but he simply didn't see any point in moving his hand now, and to be honest the movement would probably make it hurt worse than it did. So he just sat there, tracing pentagrams into the table with his free hand and only looking up at last when he heard the familiar sound of the door opening, and footsteps coming down the stairs, cautious and quiet.
Castiel was the first one to enter, with Dean following not far behind. Adam's gaze flickered down to the blood staining his brother's shirt at once, the tear in the fabric. There was no wound that he could see, and the hunter was walking just fine on his own. He looked at Adam - and looked visibly relieved when his gaze rested on the demon - and the youngest Winchester merely offered nothing more than a wave as Dean passed him. There was no point in asking about Michael; If he had been awake, he would have said something. He was still unconscious.
"I'll be right back." Dean held his hands up, and Adam raised an eyebrow, noting the blood staining his skin. The hunter just turned, disappearing into the hallway, and Adam sat back.
Castiel paused behind Lucifer's chair, glancing back over his shoulder, and the Devil leaned forward when a few more familiar faces entered the room. Jack was the first one in - much to Adam's surprise - and he raised his eyebrows at the Nephilim when the kid walked in, frowning, arms crossed over his chest and looking lost in his own thoughts. His gaze flicked up, though, first to Lucifer and then to Adam, and a similar look of relief that Dean had worn flickered across his face, a smile lighting his features and his bright blue eyes seeming to brighten further. "Hello!" Jack raised a hand, beaming, and Adam snorted slightly, but he waved back slightly. "Glad you're okay, Uncle Adam."
"Of course I- pardon?"
"Adam!" Before Jack could respond, another familiar voice broke into the conversation, sounding even more relieved than Dean and Jack put together; And, despite himself, Adam's expression softened - ever so slightly - when his gaze flickered over toward Sam, who eased his way past the Nephilim and made his way straight over to the demon. "Hey, it's good to see you-" He paused, glancing down at Adam's hand, still clutching his stomach as tight as he could, and he blinked, the smile on his face fading into a frown at once. "You okay? Bela didn't-?"
"I'm fine, Sam," Adam interrupted, and, after a second thought, he reluctantly took his hand off of his stomach and placed it on the table instead. "Bela didn't do anything. She yelled at me a little bit and left. I think it's just…" He flicked his gaze toward where Dean had gone, and then looked back up at his older half-brother, watching the realization flicker across Sam's face at once, and then the relief returned, nodding slightly and running his fingers through his hair.
Despite himself, Adam chuckled, sounding more exhausted than even he expected. "Stressing yourself out, are you? Nice to see that hasn't changed," he remarked, while Sam only huffed out a laugh in response, shaking his head slightly. "So Chuck gave you the slip, I heard."
"Ah… yeah." Sam's smile faded at once. "Yeah."
"Hey, man- it's God," Adam muttered dryly. "Surprised you were able to hold him as long as you did in the first place, so." He rolled his shoulders back, flicking his gaze toward Lucifer when the Devil pushed himself to stand up and turned to leave the room, presumably to wake up Gabriel as he had promised. The demon watched him go, then rubbed his eyes and looked back over at Sam, quirking an eyebrow at his brother as the hunter pulled a chair out to sit down at the table beside him, suddenly looking exhausted; Adam quirked an eyebrow, eyeing him. "You almost look worse than I feel," he commented idly, masking the tiny bit of concern he felt with apathy.
"I probably feel worse than I look," Sam replied with a shrug, hazel eyes flicking around the room for a moment before he looked back over at Adam, glancing the demon up and down for a moment before he spoke again. "It's been a long day for everyone, I guess."
"You can say that again," Adam agreed, huffing out a sarcastic laugh, and Sam chuckled a little bit, himself, closing his eyes for a moment. "Maybe you should sleep," the demon suggested after a few moments, heaving out a sigh and tilting his head back a little to look up at the ceiling once again. "Hell, everyone should sleep. I'm about to pass out," he muttered, screwing his eyes shut as another rush of dizziness and nausea hit him, his mouth twisting into a grimace.
"Mm." A pause. "... you okay?"
"No. Not really. I feel like I'm dying… again." Adam shook his head a little at himself, blinking his eyes open again and turning his head slightly, watching Dean enter the room again. His oldest half-brother was scrubbing his hands clean with a washcloth, and sporting a new, cleaner outfit. Adam watched him, silent, the frown on his face deepening slightly as he studied the hunter, struggling to see any hint of his body-buddy there in his features, in his eyes, but there was nothing. He wasn't Michael, he was just Dean, and to be completely honest, the demon had never been more disappointed upon looking at him - at least, not that he could remember.
"Hey," Sam piped up, snapping the demon from his thoughts, and he shook his head a little and looked over at his older brother - and then back toward Dean, when he realized that the hunter was speaking to the oldest Winchester. "How're you feeling?"
"Empty," Dean admitted, a slightly unnerved expression crossing his face for a moment as he made his way forward and sat down in the chair Lucifer had previously been in. His gaze darted toward Castiel and Jack - the latter of which was simply wandering, quite and serene, running his fingers along the bookshelves and the walls and looking like he was both on the brink of tears and about to start laughing at the same time, while the former just leaned against the wall and watched him, like a parent supervising a five year old. Dean focused on them for a moment, then turned back to Adam and Sam, shrugging. "Anyway, just wishing Mike would wake his ass up already. It feels weirder having him in my head but not there than it did… having him in my head in the first place." He shook his head a little, obviously miffed, and Adam rolled his eyes.
"Get used to the absence," he advised his brother, narrowing his eyes warningly.
"Hey, he's all yours, man." Dean shook his head a little and sank back into the chair, wincing a little and bringing a hand up to his stomach, just as another ripple of pain shot through Adam right in that same spot. The youngest grimaced, but said nothing, hands twitching back toward his stomach instinctively. The reaction didn't go unnoticed by Dean - who only wore a look of confusion for a second before it was replaced by realization, and then somewhat of an 'ah, fuck' expression, the oldest Winchester brother's mouth settling into a grimace instantly.
Sam watched them both for a moment, frowning slightly, then took a deep breath and leaned forward, crossing his arms over the table. "So," he began, eyes narrowing, and both Dean and Adam turned their heads to look back over at him, eyebrows raising quizzically in identical expressions of anticipation. "One step forward, two steps back, per usual. Now what?"
"If you ask me, Chuck being gone is just one less thing to worry about," Adam commented, causing both of his brothers' eyes to flick toward him. "I mean, yeah, I'm sure he's aching to stir up some trouble for us in the long run, but it'll be a little less nerve-wracking not having to babysit him constantly, won't it? Give everyone else more time to focus on the Cage instead." He narrowed his eyes a little, thinking, then puffed his cheeks out and shrugged. "Just saying."
"True," Sam conceded, but he was frowning. "Still doesn't help having to worry about what he might do out there, though."
"There's not much he can do, is it?" Adam checked, jerking his head toward Sam's shoulder. "Face it, the guy's weak as fuck. He's running scared, and, to be completely honest, if I were him, I'd try to keep a low profile anyway. Chuck's a dumbass, for sure, but think about it this way; if you were in his position, running scared, why the hell would you put one foot out of line and risk the possibility of just being found and beaten all over again?" He quirked an eyebrow at Sam and Dean, who exchanged a glance, eyebrows raising slightly as the demon continued, "even he wouldn't be that stupid. So I say let him lie low for a bit, let him think he can get somewhere safe and focus on finishing up the Cage so that when he does finally screw up and we're facing off with him again, we're ready to throw his ass in there."
Dean's lips twitched slightly, while Sam suddenly let out a chuckle and hung his head, rubbing his hand over his face with a grin. Adam glanced between them questioningly until Dean just nodded, looking amused, and let his head fall back with a sigh. "Smart plan, actually."
"Yeah, I'm the brains of this operation, didn't you know?" Adam asked innocently, his own smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but not quite breaking through just yet. "Have either of you read 'The Art of War'? 'Knowing the enemy enables you to take the offensive, knowing yourself enables you to stand on the defensive'. You already think like you." He sat back. "So maybe it's time to try thinking like him, instead."
"Oh, boy, another smart brother." Dean rolled his eyes, but he was grinning openly now, while Sam just snorted slightly at his brother. Adam rolled his own eyes, sinking back in the chair and pushing it back onto two legs for a moment, before letting it drop back to all four legs once again when another rush of dizziness and nausea overtook him. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath in through his nose and clearing his throat with a sigh.
"Well, sounds like a plan to me," Sam admitted, sounding a little more cheerful now. Adam's lips twitched slightly despite himself, but he bit back the smile easily enough. "Rowena and Crowley are on their way. They're gonna try and figure out what went wrong with the spell, why the chains weren't working on Chuck. As for Michael…" Adam blinked his eyes open at once, looking over. "Any idea when he might be waking up?" Sam glanced over at Dean.
The oldest Winchester grimaced. "Nah, man, he's still out cold." Adam frowned.
Well- that was okay, right? They had a plan, they were all back together again, for the most part. Once Michael woke up, they'd be connected again, and then they could all figure out how to kick Chuck's ass into the Cage. Adam sat back, closing his eyes again, and fought back another bubbling, churning rush of nausea, biting his tongue and swallowing hard with a soft, silent sigh.
They had work to do.