Hey, guys! So here's the latest update. I know I said I would feature sectionals in this chapter, but after writing this, I felt like I should save that for the next one. This one is pretty heavy and I didn't want to overload it. This one will feature some major things here, so this is a warning. ***THIS CHAPTER MENTIONS SUICIDE*** so if you're uncomfortable reading that part, just skip over it. It's the part in bold italics.

So this is kind of a filler chapter for the plot, and I've brought you all back to Lima General, but relax. No one has been beaten here. I've also finally put Faberry in. (I absolutely loved writing the tiny little fluff I did for them in this chapter, and I plan on adding more in later. I also plan on adding exactly how they got together, so I'm not skipping over that. I promise.) There's a lot of POV changes in this chapter, and it will not be the last either, so hopefully it's not too all over the place.

This will also be the final chapter before Logan makes her decision about who she wants to be with, Santana or Skylar, and if you're not sure who it will be at the end of the this chapter, then I apologize. Our love birds will be together. One way or another. Santana and Logan are written in the stars. :)

This chapter also fills a few holes in Logan's past, mainly with what happened with Nicole and her death, and the anniversary of said death will probably be in the chapter after the next, but by that time, Logan will have made some major improvements in learning to move on. So stay tuned, and please let me know what you all think! Reviews are the best part of my day, guys!

Be brave, always. Much love. ~BraveGirl

Ch:10

Logan

"Oh my god, you guys, have any of you seen Rachel or Quinn today?"

I paused in my chewing, placing my apple back down on its napkin before swallowing and automatically glancing around the lunch room for my sister and best friend. "Uh, no. Not since this morning. Why? Is something wrong?"

Tina shook her head, settling into the open seat across the lunch table from me. "No, it's just…well…"

Before Tina could finish her sentence, the echo of chatter from the student body suddenly vanished, and my head snapped around to see my sister and Quinn standing at the entrance of the cafeteria. Why it would bring everyone to sudden muteness, I had no idea why. Or at least not until the pair started towards our table and my eyes automatically landed on their conjoined hands swaying slightly between them.

"Holy shit, Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray are holding hands?"

"Huh. Weird. But, hey, that explains why Quinn was so hell bent on making Rachel's life shitty. Love does mysterious things to you, dude."

Tearing my eyes away from the pair, I turned my body back to the table, slamming my hand down on the table lightly and bringing everyone else's attention to me. "Listen, this is obviously new. When they sit down, try not to bombard them with questions, okay? The last thing they need to is be scarred away, and they've already brought a lot of attention to themselves as it is. Okay, guys?"

From on down the table Kurt nodded, leaning forward slightly. "I agree with Logan. Coming out is hard enough as it is. Being asked a bunch of questions like you're being interrogated for a crime only makes it worse. We should just respect their privacy and they'll tell us everything about Faberry when they want to."

"Faberry? What the hell is that?"

Kurt sighed, holding out both hands before bringing them together. "Berry and Fabray. Together they make Faberry."

Rolling my eyes, I tossed an unused napkin at the boy, light laughter erupting from around the table. Everyone managed to promise not to ask questions or act oddly just before Quinn and Rachel sat down in a few of the empty seats next to me and Skylar, both of their faces reddened slightly from the obvious attention they received on the way in.

"Hey, Rach, do you remember which team we're up against at Sectionals tomorrow? I can't remember their group's name."

My sister cleared her throat, looking over at me suspiciously. "Uh, The Unitards?"

"Right. The Unitards. That's it. I heard their lead singer is good."

After receiving a scoff from the short brunette next to me, and a slap on the shoulder, I feigned innocence, glad that everyone was now laughing and we weren't surrounded by the awkward silence following the outing of the new couple.

"Oh come on, Rach. I was joking. Sheesh."

From off to my left, I noticed Skylar pulling out her phone before excusing herself from the table while a few of the others were arguing about where our competition could have gotten their name from.

"It obviously has something to do with ballet."

"Or they chose it so people would be so blindsided by their name that they don't see them as real competition. Especially since Logan was right. Their lead singer is actually pretty good. Harmony? I think that's her name."

Letting out a sigh, I glanced around the table as their voices began to fill with panic about our setlist and the competition. "Guys, hey! Everyone shut up!"

The table quieted, and I stood up, looking over all of them. "The New Directions are the kings and queens of this competition. Who gives a shit if they have one good singer? We have great singers and great dancers. There's no way in hell that we're not winning Sectionals. No, the New Directions are going all the way to New York City and we're gonna win. So shut up and stop stressing out. We got this."

With that being said, I slid back down into my seat, leaning in towards my sister to whisper something in her ear. "So I see you took my advice."

The blush she was sporting earlier was back at full force, and I laughed lightly, gently shoving her as we immersed ourselves into conversation again. Thankfully, no one was panicking over the upcoming performance anymore. Instead, there was talk of costumes and possible song choices for Regionals and eventually Nationals.

Skylar

The vibrating of my phone in my pocket was distracting as Logan was attempting to steer the conversation away from Rachel and Quinn and back to the competition we were participating in tomorrow. And with a quick glance at the text message and over towards the table where the Trouble Tones were sitting, I let out a sigh. I knew this was coming sooner or later, and judging by the absence of a certain cheerleader from the table, apparently it was going to be now.

Outside. Bleachers. Now. -S.L.

I excused myself from the table, after promising Logan that everything was okay and made my way towards the locker room and eventually out on the track, where the sender of the text message was casually leaning against the last row of the bleachers, her face neutral and covered by a pair of sunglasses.

"What do you want, Santana?"

The Latina shrugged, pushing herself off the bleachers and stopping a few feet from where I was standing. "Just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow at Sectionals."

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest, steading a glare in the direction of the other girl. "We both know that's bullshit. What do you want?"

"Okay fine, you got me. I wanted to talk to you about Logan."

"What about her?"

"This week is going to be hard enough for her as it is, okay? Whatever feud thing we have going on, can we at least put it on hold until next week? The last thing she needs is for us to be fighting over her on top of this week's anniversary and the competition tomorrow."

Frowning, I uncrossed my arms, shaking my head as I retraced through the girl's words. "Wait, what anniversary are you talking about?"

The Latina raised an eyebrow, pushing the sunglasses down just far enough to look at me. "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

The girl fumbled for a few seconds with her words before settling back down onto the row she was occupying before. "Holy shit, you seriously don't know? Wow."

I was quickly growing tired of this, and I let out an aggravated sigh. "Santana, will you just tell me what the hell is going on?"

Santana was silent for a few minutes, staring at me through the sunglasses. "Fine. You know that Logan isn't from Lima, right? She's from Chicago. She had a girlfriend while she was there, and both of them were picked on for being gay. So one day, the girl had too much of it and she killed herself. That's why Logan came here, to protect Rach from being bullied. Because she blames herself for what happened. The anniversary of Nicole's death is two days from now. That's why I suggested taking a break from trying to kill each other. As much as I would love to rip that blonde head off your body for trying to make a move on my girl, it'll just make her week even shitter for her. And I don't want that."

Ignoring the comment about Logan being 'hers,' I was trying to process what in the hell I had just been told before I was brought out of my thoughts by Santana brushing by me. "Listen, I don't know why she chose not to tell you about what happened, but don't take it personal, okay? She's a pretty closed-off person until she can learn to trust you. So unless you want to make this week less of a hassle for her, I'd cool it, otherwise you're just gonna push her away. And you don:t want that. Trust me. I've been there and done that."

Without another word, she was gone, leaving me to ponder through everything that had just happened.

Logan

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Turning from my locker, I frowned at the question, coming face-to-face with an obvious upset looking Skylar. "Uh, tell you what?"

Skylar shook her head, turning on her heel and walking off down the hall. I quickly closed my locker, jogging after her until I was able to grab a hold of her arm and pull her back around to face me, still confused by the question and her sudden mood change since lunch. "Hey, what are you talking about? What did I not tell you?"

"You said that there was something that made you come here, but you never said what. I thought it was maybe just you being crypt, but you totally downplayed your girlfriend committing suicide and blaming yourself for it."

I let out a sigh, letting my grip around Skylar's wrist slacken enough her for pull away. "Who told you?"

The blonde shook her head, taking a step back away from me. "Does it matter? You should have told me, Logan. Especially with the anniversary right around the corner?"

"Told you what? That the girl I was in love with was so miserable because she was taunted for being with me that she swallowed a handful of narcotics? That I couldn't do a damn thing about it? Because excuse me for being a little secretive after having my private life aired out to the entire school last year by a girl who tried to have me killed. It's not exactly something I was about to scream at the top of my lungs. I was going to tell you, but I was scared that you would react exactly like this. Like I was nothing more than broken glass, with everyone tiptoeing around me. It gets a little lonely after a while. And I wanted you to be different."

After witnessing a thousand and one emotions flashing across the girl's face, I took a few steps back from her, picking up my discarded bag from the hall floor before brushing past Skylar. "I'll see you in Glee."

Turning the corner of the hallway, instead of making my way towards my next class, I found my feet carrying me towards the back entrance of the school, the tiled floor being replaced with dirt as I made my way out towards the track. I couldn't stand to be inside the crowded school anymore. Each second was another lung full of air being forced, leaving me gasping as I finally made it to the center of the track and dropped my bag, my hands automatically landing on my knees and I composed myself.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, as much as it pained me, I had forgotten that the anniversary of Nicole's death was right around the corner. I had been so engrossed with school and glee and softball that I hadn't had time to actually think about it. Which is an unusual occurrence for me, since every time I look in the mirror and see that horrid scar that runs along my forehead and eyebrow, I find myself remembering everything about her. All the events leading up to her death, coming to McKinley…Santana…the attack, and the lonely months after.

How could I ever forget about her?

It had been a while since I cried over Nicole, but as the tears began to sting the back of my eyes, and the track in front of me became blurry, it felt like I was back on that street corner again…

It's cold.

There's snow on the ground, you idiot, of course it's cold. But the numbing pain was the last thing on my mind. Nicole was the only thing I could think of. Our last conversation was playing on repeat as I tried to remember every detail. The way her voice sounded, her smile…

But as I turned the corner of the street, and my eyes were blinded by red and blue lights, I could suddenly remember it all. I cracked a joke, because she'd been having a bad day and had been a little more distant than usual. It was a crappy joke, one of those you find randomly written on a public bathroom stall. But it had managed to get a smile out of her, and I felt accomplished for it. And I hadn't thought too much of the kiss that she gave me, how it lasted longer than normal, or how the hug she had given me was the same. The silence on the walk to her house, I thought it nothing…

Oh god, how I was wrong. I should have noticed. I should have stopped it…

Ignoring the shouting of all the police officers saying I couldn't go inside, I pushed past the wall of uniforms, everything around me slowing down as I passed by Nicole's parents, both of whom were sobbing while a uniform was standing over them, his face full of pity. I passed by a side table holding numerous pictures of Nicole and I over the years, my eyes scanning each and every moment captured before I was up the stairs, following the sounds of hushed voices and EMT's bringing equipment down, and at the top of the stairs, those stupid numbers they use for crime scenes glaring at me, mocking me.

You're too late…

But my feet kept pushing me on, pass the number strategically placed by a broken picture frame of Nicole and her family, and one of me. Pass the number by the open bathroom, where numerous medication bottles littered the tiled floor.

They finally stopped when I reached the doorway of Nicole's bedroom, the last two numbers burning forever into my mind, along with the image of the girl I loved, everything but her face hidden by those fucking black bags, surrounded by a pile of white pills.

I like to think of myself as a strong person. Growing up with gay parents, coming out as gay myself. It's hard. No one can deny that, so it's taken a lot to get me to the point where life brings me to my knees. But this…this was enough to bring me to my knees, enough to knock the breath out of me…because this…this is all because of me. I wasn't strong enough to carry her through this. And I wasn't strong enough to survive this.

"Logan!"

Blinking through the newest round of tears, I managed to catch a glimpse of my sister's face before the blackness overtook me. But, hey, at least here there wasn't any pain now.

Rachel

"Rachel? What's wrong?"

Letting out a sigh of relief, I squeezed the phone in my hand, thankful to finally hear the other girl's voice. "Santana, thank god. I need you to come to Lima General immediately."

"What? Why? Is someone hurt? Are you okay? Is Quinn?"

"No, we're fine. It's Logan."

After a moment of silence, the dial tone was ringing through on the other end, causing me to frown as I pulled the phone away from my ear to stare at the screen. "I do believe she just hung up on me."

"Hey, at least she knows. I'm sure she'll be here soon."

Smiling softly, I interlocked my fingers with Quinn's, finding peace in the girl's presence. It was warm and loving, and some of the fear and panic occupying most of my body dissipated. Thank god for good girlfriends. "Thank you for being here with me. I know you had something planned with your mother tonight, if you need to go, it's alright, I won't-."

The blonde smiled, leaning forward to silence me with a quick kiss, my brain registering and noting that if this was the way to stop my ramblings, then I would gladly ramble more often. Even as simple and quick as it was, like Quinn herself, it always managed to leave me breathless and unable to think.

"Logan is my best friend, and your sister. You both mean the world to me, and needed me here. My mom understands, so don't think for one second that I would rather be anywhere else but here. Okay?"

I nodded, leaning my forehead to rest against hers, basking in the calmness and sense of home that came with the blonde before a voice pulled us apart, both of us turning to see an out of breath Latina jogging around the corner.

"What…happened?"

Letting go of Quinn, I stood up and made my way over to the girl, settling my hands on the taller girl's shoulders. "She had a panic attack at school. She was on her way to class and Tina noticed her walking out towards the track and told me about it. She was worried. Apparently Skylar and her were arguing about something in the hallway before she just left. None of us know what it was about, but I found her sobbing on the edge of the track and she passed out before I could get to her. Quinn and I rushed her here, and she woke up a few minutes ago, and they said she was fine, it was just a panic attack, and she'd be okay."

The cheerleader nodded, taking a deep breath before looking around. "Did you call her mother's? Are they here?"

"They're with her. They went back after the doctor came out and told us she was awake. I just figured you would want to be here."

The girl nodded again, giving me a quick hug. "You're sure she's okay?"

Pulling away from the girl, I nodded, squeezing her shoulders before leading her over towards Quinn, settling her into the empty seat next to me. "They said she just needed to rest, but other than that, there's nothing wrong with her. By the way, how did you get here so fast? I literally just got off the phone with you a few minutes ago."

The girl shrugged, glancing around the waiting room. "I ran here."

"You ran? But it's over a mile from the school?"

The Latina simply shrugged again, leaning back into the uncomfortable waiting room seat. "Doesn't matter. I wanted to get here as fast as I could, so I ran."

"Noted."

Santana was quiet for a second before she let out a sigh and pulled out her cellphone, her face completely neutral as she tapped the screen a few times before tossing it into the seat next to her own. "Thank you for calling me."

I nodded in acknowledgement, settling back into my seat between the two girls, silence falling over all three of us as we all silently agreed to wait on more news about Logan.

Thankfully, the silence only lasted a few more minutes, and one of my aunt's suddenly appeared back in the waiting room, causing all three of us to stand up. I was the first to receive a hug, followed by the other two girls before my aunt sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Okay, so physically, she's fine. It was just a panic attack like they told us, but she's not talking. At all. Do any of you know what happened at school?"

Both Quinn and I shook our heads, our attention turning towards Santana, who was standing a few steps behind us, glaring at her phone. "Santana?"

"That fucking bitch! This is all her fault! I swear to god, I'm going to kick her ass from here to California the next time I see her!"

I shared a confused look with the other women before walking towards the girl, glancing down at the phone screen as she held it out to me. My eyes quickly scanned over the brief text Santana had sent Skylar, and the latter's reply, feeling my stomach drop once I realized what all of this was about.

"Why would Skylar confront Logan about Nicole? Especially right now?"

The Latina's eyes were dark, and it was a look I had seen many times, had even been on the receiving end once or twice, and I automatically looped an arm through hers, keeping her in place. "Santana, you can't kill the girl. As much as I want to let you go so you can, it won't solve anything right now. Now tell me, why did you ask Skylar if she mentioned the anniversary of Nicole's death to Logan?"

I watched as Santana's jaw clenched and unclenched a few times, her eyes boring into the phone screen. "I met Skylar at lunch, and asked her to call a truce from our stupid feud over Logan until after sectionals and the anniversary of Nicole's death passed. Apparently she didn't know all of the details surrounding it, and I told her not to bring it up to Logan. I told her if she cared at all about her, she wouldn't do this, but she fucking did and now I'm going to rip her throat out and-."

"Whoa, hang on there, killer. It's okay. Skylar had no right to bring this up, even if she was upset over learning about Nicole and what happened, it was wrong. But you cannot go out and beat her up over this. The best thing you can do is just be here for Logan. If this panic attack set her back to how she was after Nicole's suicide, then she's going to need all of you. And you can't be here if you're in jail for assault. Got it?"

I was surprised by my aunt's words, half expecting to hear them from myself or from Quinn to calm the raging girl next to me. But the words seemed to work, and after a few mumbles she nodded, agreeing not to go after the girl.

"Okay, so I know you all are probably dying to see her, so who wants to go first? She's allowed visitors, but I think it would be best if we just do it one at a time, okay?"

"I think Santana should go first. After all, if anyone's going to get Logan to talk, it would be her. San? Are you okay to go back?"

The Latina nodded, brushing past me and Quinn and following my aunt past the nurse's station, disappearing around the corner with one last look over her shoulder at us.

Logan

It had been a few minutes since my mother had said anything. Once she figured out I wasn't going to respond, she had simply placed a kiss to my forehead before moving outside of the small room I had been placed in. I counted with the clock placed above the door, waiting for any sign of movement, any kind of sound. Anything to distract my brain from reliving the past few hours.

Two minutes, forty-three seconds. Forty-five. Forty-six. Forty-seven.

"You look like shit."

My eyes snapped down from the clock to see Santana standing in the doorway of my room. And for the first time since I woke up, I felt something. Warmth. And before I could stop myself, I was swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, my bare feet landing on the cold tile as I stood and stumbled slightly, only to be caught before I could hit the floor. So maybe getting out of bed wasn't the best idea at the moment.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay. Don't push yourself too much, okay?"

I allowed myself to lean into the warm body, my arms coming up to wrap around her waist as I buried my face into her shoulder, sucking up any and all comfort she brought. She returned the hug, her own arms wrapping around my back and pulling me impossibly closer to her. Not that I minded. At all.

It wasn't until I felt Santana's arms tighten around me that I realized I was crying. The sobs were the first sounds to have come out of my mouth since waking up. And after a few minutes, my tears were reduced to a few slipping out, and I pulled back, keeping one hand on Santana's waist as I wiped at my face quickly.

"I'm sorry."

My voice sounded raspy, a lot like it had after the wires had been removed from my jaw last year. It was foreign and sounded so unlike me, and I let my eyes fall to the floor, my hand bunching

A hand ran across the back of my head, before tucking some hair behind my ear. "Logan, look at me."

Glancing up, my eyes automatically landed on a familiar pair of brown ones, that sense of familiarity calming me slightly as she smiled softly. "Don't apologize for this. I know what happened, and you don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm just happy you're okay."

I returned the smile, reaching out to grab ahold of one of her hands. "I didn't exactly plan on passing out at school. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Worrying me? Hell, Logan, when I got that call from Rachel I felt exactly like I did last year. That kind of panic and fear is not something I want to experience again, so please, stop taking a few years off my life, okay?"

Chuckling, I leaned into the girl, letting my eyes close. "Deal."

Silence fell over the both of us, the only sounds coming from our breathing and the occasional beeping from outside my room. Eventually, after some time had passed, I pulled away from the girl, frowning as I recalled what she said earlier. "What do you mean you know what happened? Is Skylar here?"

Santana shook her head, taking a seat on the bed next to me. "No. She's not here, but I did talk to her. It's apparently become a regular thing today."

"What did she tell you?"

The girl next to me sighed, reaching out to grab a hold of one of my hands. "Listen, I asked softball girl to meet me at lunch because I wanted to talk to her about something. I wanted to ask her if we could stop fighting to get passed sectionals and…pass what exactly made you have a panic attack at school."

"Oh. So it was you that told her."

The hand holding onto mine squeezed slightly, the owner of said hand turning to face me fully. "I'm sorry. I thought she knew. I thought you would have told her, but she didn't know and I didn't want her to come and start asking you questions so I told her and I specifically told her not to bring it up, but she did anyway and I'm sorry, Logan. I didn't-."

"Santana, it's okay. I'm not upset that you told her. I promise."

I could visibly see the Latina relax after my words, her entire posture actually loosening before she dramatically plopped back onto the bed, my hand still securely entwined with hers. The action caused me to chuckle again as I stared down at the girl. This was nice. Having her here like this. And I could have this. It was right here. She was right here, but something was holding me back. Something I'd never been able to pin point until today.

"You okay?"

Nodding, I smiled down at the girl, feeling the ache in my heart and body fade slightly. "Yeah. Uh, so, can you do me a favor and go grab my mother's? I need to ask them when I'm getting out of here."

Santana nodded, standing up from the bed and releasing my hand. "Sure. Is everything okay? You're not going to pass out again, are you?"

The slight panic in her voice caused me to smile before reaching out and grabbing a hold of the girl, pulling her back to me for a quick hug. "No, I'm not going to pass out again. Stop worrying so much."

After promising Santana that I would be okay, she started out of the room, only to stop when I called after her. "Hey, stick around? Please?"

The girl smiled, winking at me before opening the door. "Always."