The storm raged on, sending waves crashing mercilessly against the cliffside of Ahch To. The rain poured down and the lightning flashed across the sky, but the bitter elements didn't seem to have any effect on the ruins of the once mighty Jedi Temple that had stood atop its cliffs in decades past.
Sequestered in one of the island's many stone huts, Luke sat at his table, eating a bowl of rootleaf stew across from his newest padawan. Glancing up from his steaming bowl, Luke couldn't help but experience a bout of deja-vu. It seemed like only yesterday in which he had sat scrunched up in Yoda's hut eating the same exact meal with his former master, and yet he knew that over thirty years had passed since then.
For years Luke had lived alone on this island, hiding himself away from the rest of the world, haunted by the memories of his failure. He swore when he first arrived that he would never again agree to take on a padawan, that he would die as the last Jedi, and yet here he was. The Force always had a way of throwing a curveball into his plans.
Having Rey around was both a blessing and a burden. She brought a bit of much needed light and life back into his dreary existence. Rey was so young and full of hope, despite the cards that life had dealt her in the past. She was eager to learn, and a stubbornness within her that refused to take no for an answer.
She was much like he had been when he first started his journey… That was what worried him…
Every so often he would catch her looking over at him with wonder in her chocolate eyes. Her lips would part briefly, as if she meant to speak, but then they would close a moment later. He could sense that she was bursting with questions she wanted to ask him.
"You may ask questions if you want," Luke said with a sigh. "Though, I can't guarantee I'll answer them."
Setting her spoon down, a grin spread across Rey's face from ear to ear. "I'm sorry… It's just, I've grown up hearing legends of you. To actually meet you… It's like something out of a dream."
This was another one of the reasons he had gone into hiding. After he defeated the Emperor and brought an end to the Empire's reign of terror, everyone in the galaxy seemed to know his name, singing his praises. Luke tried his best to deal with it at first, relieved by the knowledge that Han felt much the same, but in time it became too much for him.
Rey asked him many questions, mostly about his adventures, but also a few about his life before. There were some questions he refused to answer for personal reasons, but he answered a few, enough to satisfy her it would seem.
Despite all the years he had spent as a youth, dreaming of adventure and excitement, he had never one dreamt of fame and glory. He never wanted either of those things. The world knew him as their savior, a legendary and infallible hero, but to Luke he was none of those things. He was, and would always be, just a simple farm boy from Tatooine who had the adventure of a lifetime thrust upon him and suffered and lost much as a result.
"Have you ever been in love?"
The question took him by surprise. There were many questions that he had expected, but this was not one of them.
"Why would you possibly want to know that?"
Rey shrugged. "I just thought… Surely there must have been someone you loved once… before you came here?"
Luke wanted to ignore this question, but for some reason, the question wouldn't leave him alone. Had he ever been in love? A pit formed in his stomach. He knew the answer to this question, though he had never dared admit it out loud… not since…
"I was in love once... A long time ago."
"What happened?'
Luke shut his eyes, trying in vain to push back the memories that threatened to resurface. He was grateful for the fact that she hadn't asked who it was he had loved, and hoped she wouldn't, knowing that he wouldn't be able to answer.
It was his deepest and darkest secret, a secret that had troubled him these past thirty years. Time and isolation had helped him recover to some extent, but the feelings he felt for her still remained to this day. They were yet another reason he had gone into hiding.
In his mind's eye, he could still recall the day he first laid eyes on her. Even in hologram form, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. It was like love at first sight. He remembered the way she took his breath away when he found her lying there in that cell, causing him to momentarily forget why he was in the cell to begin with.
Pulling the mask off his head, he took a step forward and reached out a hand to her. "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you."
He remembered the way it felt having her body pressed against his as he swung the two of them to safety.
Pulling her head upward, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, "For good luck."
Even if it was just a quick peck on the cheek, it had meant a lot to him at the time. That one kiss made him feel powerful, as if he could take on an entire army of Stormtroopers.
He remembered his first real kiss. His near-death experience on Hoth had made him realize that he could well enough die at any given moment on this crazy mission of theirs. The thought of never getting to tell her how he felt… He just couldn't stand it.
He started to lean in to her, and though he wasn't entirely sure, he had thought that she had leaned into him as well. Of course, their first kiss attempt was interrupted by their friends coming in. He thought for sure that he had missed his chance, but then she took him by surprise and kissed him herself, in front of everyone else… and more importantly, in front of Han.
He was ecstatic. She returned his feelings! Surely the kiss had proved that.
Sadly, with everything else that was going on, they didn't have much time to act on their feelings or start much of a relationship. Then he found out about his father. He was so scared that she would hate him if she found out that his father was none other than Darth Vader. He thought that there could be no worse news than that.
Boy was he wrong…
"Leia… Leia is my sister…"
The news that he had a twin sister should have filled him with delight, but it didn't. Instead it filled him with horror and grief.
He had fallen in love with his own sister… He had never felt so utterly repulsed by himself before, not so much because he had fallen in love with her, not knowing that she was his sister. That much, he could forgive. It was the fact that he continued to love her… he continued to think things that he shouldn't be thinking about her, even after he had found out.
"What happened," Rey asked?
"I let her go… She was in love with someone else…"
He knew that Han had feelings for her too, and as much as he wanted to have her to himself, he knew that it wasn't right. In the end, he decided that if Leia had to end up with anyone else, he would rather it be Han.
Rey's expression saddened. "I'm sorry… I-I shouldn't have asked."
He shook his head. It was fine.
Oddly enough, it didn't bother him as much as it had in the past. Perhaps it was getting easier to cope with time. He still didn't forgive himself for it, nor had he forgiven himself for failing his nephew, but he did feel a hint of relief from finally being able to get it off his chest.
"What about you?" He figured it was only fair that he should get to ask her the same question. "Have you ever been in love?"
Rey seemed momentarily taken back by this. She didn't answer at first, as she too seemed to need time to think about her answer. The far off look he saw in her eyes told him that there was indeed someone.
"Well, being a scavenger from Jakku, I never gave much thought to romance. After I left..." she explained. "I don't know if I can say that I'm in love with him, but I do feel this deep connection with him. Like I've known him my whole life. Like I somehow know him better than anyone else does."
Luke managed to smile at that. Ah, to be young and in love. It was the bane as well as the delight of youth.
"And why aren't you with him?"
Rey bit down on her lip nervously. "I suppose you could say he's someone I shouldn't have these feelings for."
He nodded his head, returning to his soup. "I know the feeling all too well…"
Okay, I know this is kind of a taboo topic, but you can't deny that it did happen in the movies. Luke had developed romantic feelings for Leia (before he found out that she was his sister). And I can only imagine how traumatic that was for him.
Anyway, here's my rule: If you don't like it, don't comment!
