A/N: Hey, I'm back. Sorry for the longer than usual hiatus, as this chapter took much longer to write than I first thought it would. Hopefully, I'll be able to get the following chapters out in a much more timely manner as I slowly build up to the FUTURE of this fic and what's soon to come. Thanks for sticking with me this long, I appreciate it. Have a safe relaxing Summer out there. And happy Father's Day!
Also, this chapter, while much longer than I first intended it to be, is pretty light-hearted and a lot sillier than the rest of chapters I've put out lately. Chapter 23 however, will be MUCH darker, and also be the grand finale in this short side-adventure through time and alternate timelines. That's all I'm going to say for now. See you then...
Webbigail: Okay, I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Whenever it's necessary of course. Thanks again!
...
"This just in! This is Roxanne Featherly, reporting live from the scene of the recent crash site here in Duckburg. McDuck Manor, crushed completely flat, underneath the once ominously floating right above us, legendary island of Greek gods, deities, heroes, and myths alike, Ithaquack."
"Just barely escaping with their lives, Scoorge McDuck and his family and have most COWARDLY fled our fair city of Duckburg in fear, flying off towards the dark, unknown, horizons. But in the end, will it even matter? Can the riches of the richest duck in the world, save him from the mass of death and destruction the he has ultimately brought down upon all of us?"
"As you can see, the current supernatural disaster of unspeakable shadowy horrors Scrooge McDuck has left behind, what local reporters and journalists are calling, the Shadowpocalypse, continues to only grow bigger and bigger, swallowing all within it's terrifying veil."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we may very well be witnessing with our own eyes, at THIS very moment, The End of the World as We Know It..."
"...Joining me live, the CEO of Waddle, beloved Duckburg billionaire and entrepreneur, your friend and mine, Mark Beaks!"
"Mr. Beaks, any comments on the occurring cataclysmic situation taking place right before our very eyes?"
...
"Mr. Beaks?"
"Mr. Beaks?"
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE STAND BY- AAAAAAAAHHH-"
...
"This just in! This is Roxanne Featherly, reporting live from the-"
"-You see, this is just what I was talking to Mr. McDee about! Having total and complete commitment to your job, not letting any dents or minor distractions throw you off- Hey, is that a beefy well built nude statue of Mr. Dee? Whoa! Cooooool!"
"Nice, head." Manny the Headless Man-Horse clapped in Morse code as Launchpad McQuack stopped waving his hand in front of a long dead skeleton reporter's face and quickly ran up to a tall muscular statue of Donald Duck. Complete with a plaster fig leaf and a victorious pose as he stood proudly outside the Temple of Heroes high atop the silent peak of Ithaquack.
"Keeping it all together, and never letting a few wrecked snack stands or crashes get you down!"
"...A few?" Fenton parked inside the Gizmoduck armor close beside Dr. Gearloose waited patiently for an explanation.
"Hundred." Launchpad nodded with a somewhat vague and zoned out expression on his face.
"Hundred?"
"Thousand... Hundred thousand..." The tall rugged pilot calmly confirmed.
"...The snack stands or the crashes?" Fenton questioned as Gyro just crossed his arms, looking mildly disappointed in both of them at the moment.
"Well, the wreck always comes after the crash, and then the fire, then smoke, then ambulance. It is hazardous, and I believe, counterproductive, to become frozen in time by an obsession with past wrongs and crashes." Launchpad was sure to speak slowly to make it all sound more important.
"...Not even being dead?" The Latin intern asked after a moment of dull complete silence.
"Haven't made it to that one yet..." The pilot scratched his chin as Penumbra only continued to let herself get dragged around behind him by his leg.
"HA! Not only is he Earth strapping and well-fortified, he's also philosopher! It's all too good to be clever farce!" Penumbra smiled and hugged him tighter.
"Uugh. Why does Mr. McDuck even keep you around anyway?" Gyro finally asked. "If someone that worked for me was as reckless and clumsy as you, I would have already long-" The scientist suddenly paused before leaning in closer to Fenton.
"-AS."
"Because, I'm a good freind? I'm strong dependable and fearless? I'm real good at putting out FIRE?" Launchpad asked quite excitedly.
"Don't forget strapping and fortified!" The young lovestruck moonlander quickly added.
Gyro frowned. "...Minimum-wage?"
"THAAAT'S the one! Oh, and also, he's a good guy. Treats his employees just as good as his friends and family."
"Hmmm. Well that would explain a lot about Webby." Gyro continued. "I hate to say this, but I'm afraid Mr. Duck and his so-called, FAMILY must be seriously neglecting her, and his nephews. Forcing them to work for him and taking them on dangerous globe-trotting adventures all the time."
"...I'm telling you. That poor, WIIDLY violent child, is FAR, from normal... She would be a lot better off living with an ACTULLY, normal, non-adventure family for once. Especially one that isn't currently fueding with a century old evil shadow sorceress that wants to butcher and most likely eat them all, and if she doesn't end up being sent high up the river first..."
"Oh no, you got it all wrong. Webby is nice, so is Mrs. B. They're both nice." Launchpad reassured with a smile. "Everyone has their own normal, that's what makes us all equally special you know?"
"...Still, you'd think Mr. McDuck would permanently retire from the whole adventuring thing after Della got lost in space for over a decade." Gyro began with a not so subtle scowl across his face.
"Now I know that this may be, NONE of MY business, but he's the richest DUCK, in the WORLD. It's not like he HAS to continue getting richer and richer and richer through mindless treasure hunting... And if it wasn't for a certain brilliant scientist in particular, who shall remain nameless and knew exactly how ireponsble and reckless that literal womanchild of a pilot actually is, she wouldn't have survived five minutes. D-E-A-D, DEAD!"
"...His parents, never gave him a name?!" Launchpad began to get overly emotional all of the sudden. "But- But how- how did his friends and family sing him Happy Birthday? Did he even have friends?! Did they all remain nameless too?! What about his dog?! EVERY BOY HAS GOT TO HAVE A DOG! YOU'VE GOT TELL ME ABOUT THIS DOG MAN!"
...
"Why did I think it would even be possible to have an intelligent conversation with you? Uuughhh. Where do you think this came from?" Gyro sighed and pointed to his black eye which had only gotten more visible and painful over time.
"Oh, and Widget died years ago. And it's not like he was a good boy and a close friend who helped his owner through some of the most difficult parts of his life and showered him with unconditional love and cuddles or anything. And that driver DEFINITELY didn't keep on going dispite his owner running after him with tears in his eyes and badly scrapped himself or anything. All that, DEFINITELY, never, happened..."
"...You, didn't crash the tub?" Launchpad questioned.
"Webby. Webby did it." The scientist quickly replied.
"Webby crashed the tub?!"
"NO YOU ABSOLUTE AIRHEAD! SHE PUNCHED ME! That, NICE, little, fish girl of yours, PUNCHED ME!" Gyro blurted out loudly in frustration.
"...No, you're- you're wrong! She would never! And- And definitely not on purpose!"
"Launchpad, he's not making it up. She actually did punch him. And trust me, it, definitely wasn't an accident..." Fenton slowly explained while looking a little awkward.
"Uhhhhh- Maybe she, uhhhhh..." Launchpad rubbed the back of his neck and looked around.
"Blah, I don't need your sentiment." The irritated scientist's voice was almost low as a whisper.
"Maybe your right. Maybe she IS, just a little cranky. Maybe she IS just, WILDLY misunderstood! But until she proves she's more than just a threat to all our personal safety and that's she's not going to try kill us all in flying juvenile rage, she's getting noooo sympathy from me..."
...
"Uh, Bigtime?"
"Bigtime Beagle?"
"...MR. BIGTIME?!"
"What?!" A short Beagle Boy quickly stuck his head up and out of a deep, cramped hole on the sandy beach. "You wanted me to dig you a hole, I'm digging you a hole!"
"I said a LITTLE hole. I'm not THAT un-constipated!" Webby said as leaned far out of the Time Tub with Huey standing blindly close beside her on the sand.
"Ha! Bigtime don't do little, Bigtime does big time... I don't even know the meaning the word little!" Bigtime climbed back down into the hole and continued digging deeper with his bare hands, weakly tossing the loose sand out of the dark, lonely hole.
"I don't find that hard-" The little merduck raised her finger as she began to speak again but soon stopped herself and sighes after realizing how cliche it actually was.
"...Bigtime? I know we're enemies and all, and how much we hate each other, and that I literally bashed you over the head with a pizza, but I don't think-"
"-SHUT IT PINKY, DANGIT! I'M DIGGING!" The Beagle Boy yelled back, seconds before the hole collapsed in on itself and immediately buried him alive.
"AAAAAAAAHHH-"
"-Is everything okay down there?" Webby asked calmly in genuine concern as Huey began to grow visibly anxious from the sudden yelling and screaming just barely loud enough to hear from a far distance.
"It's okay Huey, it's okay." She hugged her friend's head and gently patted him.
...
"He doesn't count..." Gyro crossed his arms before Ma Beagle gently pulled him aside and away from the direction of the far-off, desolate beach.
"Let's just grab that gold already and hightail it out of here. I've got an entire damfool gang of cutthroat thugs and a junkyard full of garbage to manage. And it ain't gonna get by long all by itself. The one thing you can be sure about trash, it ain't fussy." She paused to dust off her hat and sigh deeply as she placed it back on her head. "Bless their sorry little hearts..."
"Way ahead of ya Ma!"
"...What do you morons think your doing?!" Ma Beagle turned around and asked angrily as Bouncer Beagle held Burger and Black Arts up to a high window on the outside wall of the temple.
"What the Beagle Boys do best! Casing the joint." The muscular Beagle Boy replied cheerfully.
"Save your socially inept lack skills." Their tired mother frowned crossly. "Any deity or highfalutin' supreme being willing to lower themselves to the ten-cent level of the McDucks and get friendly with them can't be all that bright in my book..."
"...Now you've got it!" Launchpad suddenly spoke up brightly.
"Huh?"
"Uh, what I meant to say is, that's correct!" The pilot smiled quite cluelessly as Gyro, Fenton, and Ma Beagle just stared at him in immense bewilderment.
"...Thank you." She finally replied.
"Now, we knock the door, grab the loot, kindly wave goodbye, and get the heck out of this godforsaken bloody hellhole of death and broken dreams..."
"Overdramatic much?" Manny clapped.
"...What he'd say? Ma Beagle asked after a bit of complete apocalyptic silence.
"OVERDRAMATIC, MUCH?" The ghostly horse clapped twice again.
"He said good plan." Gyro calmly comfirmed for her with a nod.
"Thank you..."
"WHY?!" Manny wondered loudly in great distress.
"Except for ONE, LITTLE, thing." The scientist began. "We sneak in and grab the gold instead. As I'm not too sure if we can trust these, pantheonic FRIENDS of Mr. McDuck... But otherwise, great plan."
"...Thank yo- UUUUGGH! All this thanking people and kindness is starting to make me sick! Boys! Let's roll!" Ma Beagle ordered and began to march towards the temple door.
"Hmmm, great. We sneak in and grab the gold. And you first. Maybe I'm wrong, but this one seems RIIIGHT up your alley..." Gyro spoke with a noticeable about of dry sarcasm in his voice.
"Uggh! Seriously?! We're the thieves here! I just want to uncomplicate things and get us out of here as fast as possible. And you want to rob the dang place?!" Ma Beagle continued to only grow more and more frustrated.
"If I say we sneak in and grab the gold, we sneak in and grab the gold. It's as simple as that..."
"UUUGH! What idiot put you in charge?!" She asked as she got up in the equally annoyed scientist's face.
"...How can you be so sure an IDIOT put me in charge anyway? Why couldn't it have been your average, intelligent, criminally misunderstood, shockingly handsome brilliant young scientist plus genius kid inventor that-" Gyro paused in sudden self-realization.
"So I'll tell what IDIOT put me in charge. I did. I'm the IDIO-"
"-Launchpad. Launchpad put me in charge. He's the idiot. And definitely not me."
"I'm sorry, what now? Whhaaah-aaah-" The rugged pilot in question quickly lost his balance as he looked back and accidentally pressed the surprisingly non-inconspicuous golden doorbell to the temple.
Ding-Dong! The doorbell chimed out loudly in the unearthly silence of the lifeless universe just before Gyro could shrilly help to interrupt it.
"NOOOOOOO!"
...
"...You're right Gearloose. I'll admit it, I was a just being a stubborn old fool. We really should sneak in and grab the loot." Ma Beagle stopped to smile wickedly at him. "Because I'm ABSOLUTELY sure, nobody in there heard any of that."
"RrrrrrrrhhghrhaaaAAAAHHH-"
"-YOOOOOOOU! UUHHHH-WHAA?! Hands off you internal inferiors! And I'll fire you BOTH!" Gyro tried his best to fight off Fenton and Manny in anger as they tightly held him back.
"Uh, don't you mean, or you'll fire us both-"
"-DROP HIM." Manny interrupted with a quick set of claps as his boss was dropped hard onto the rocky ground below him.
"...THAT'S IIITT! Interns, your both, FIIIiiiiiRED! Just as soon as we get home."
"Dr. Gearloose, don't you think that you might be overreacting, just a little bit-"
"-You can't fire me. I, quit!" The Headless Man-Horse clapped before walking towards Ma Beagle and stading tall and upright besides her. Pulling out a black criminal mask from out of nowhere like she and her sons where all wearing, he tied it around his head and over his expressionless, stony glare.
"I prefer, the bad guys, anyway." He simply clapped.
"Well now. Welcome to the gang." The proud matriarch of the Beagle family smiled and shook his hoof.
"Manny..." Fenton felt betrayed.
...
"Ah-hem-hem! Ahem." A tired, tuxedo wearing figure cleared his scratchy throat as he suddenly stood in the now open doors of the temple. Although everyone else there had no clear idea of exactly who they were looking at at the moment, Launchpad recognized him immediately and stood up with Penumbra still clinging onto him and smiled.
The tall, bored, bearded King of The Gods, The God of Hospitality, thunder, and petty childish pride, stared forward in visible indignation while looking like had long given up on his boring, immortal life.
"Oh hey Zeus, good to see ya pal. So uh, are us weary travels welcome in your humble abode?"
"...Oh boy, how does this go?" The Greek god cleared his throat again before magically summoning a twenty dollar bill with something written on it in his hand and read it aloud.
"Welcome weary travelers to our humble abode. Wait, whaat?"
"Aww gee! Thanks pal! Glad there's no hard feeling between us. As I always say, it's always best to just forget and forgive. Or was it forgive and forget? I forget..." Launchpad stared forward blankly as he continued to slowly shake Zeus' hand.
"...Well I'll BE-agle darned." Ma Beagle quietly whispered to herself.
*quick thunderstorm transition*
...
"Hey Ma, look at this!" Black Arts said as he held up a small golden figure of a seductive busty rabbit to his mother.
"You pinhead! Put it back!"
"Hey Ma! Take a little gander at this!" Bouncer said as he held up a king-sized, green vevlot comfy couch with matching fluffy pillows.
"You bird-brain! Drop it!"
...Thud!
"Hhrhhrrhrheeyh." Burger said as he excitedly ran up with a polished silver snack tray in his hands and emitted only inconsistent incoherent rambling.
"...Knucklehead!" His very irritated mother slapped him in the face.
"But- But Ma. I- I thought-"
"-Hasn't anyone told you no account fools that's it's impolite to rob your own dang hosts?!" Ma Beagle quickly interrupted her clueless, dark stage magician son. "We're not just simple ornery thieves. We're the Beagles! Which makes you, the Beagle Boys! My boys! So NIP IT! NIP ALL IT IN THE BUD! You got that?!"
Standing motionless in the expansive, red carpeted, gold and diamond studded elegant parlor, the three Beagle Boys exchanged similar fearful expressions before quickly sticking their hands hidden behind their backs.
"Good..." Their mother paused before turning to walk away.
"...Too bad Big Time's busy watching after the McDuck kids back on the beach, he'd love this place." Bouncer causally mentioned as he and his brothers followed close behind.
"You mean he'd love to rob it?" Gyro asked.
"Uuuhhh." Ma Beagle stopped in her tracks and sighed. "If you can't run with the big Beagles, stay underneath the porch. And unfortunately in that complete idiot Big Time's case, he took my advice quite literally..."
"Mr. McDee said I had the same problem. Not too sure what he meant by it though." Launchpad paused to think back for a bit. "And that angry injured DRIVE-through manager was a real nice guy, once you got to know him."
...
"Launchpad, you didn't really-"
"-Didn't really what now?" The pilot stared confused back at Fenton as Manny only stepped aside into the corner of the room and then turned back around.
"Keeping, my, safe, distance." He clapped on the floor.
"Ah-hem-hem-hem!" Zeus loudly cleared his throat to attract the temple guest's attention.
"...Speaking of Gander, the man of the house, shall greet you now."
From inside the large temple room that once used to be Charybdis', the guardian of the Spear of Poseidon's chamber, hot cloudy steam and the overpowering scent of fresh lavender wafted out into the rest of The Temple of the Lucky Goose like a warm spring breeze as the doors to the room where pushed open and the guests made their way inside.
"Uhhh, gizmo-wipers, activate..." Fenton said as the Gizmosuit's helmet visor had already been steamed up from the humid air.
"Hold it, didn't you lose all your memory about being Gizmoduck back in the past? HOW did you know that the Gizmosuit even had those?" Gyro asked with an aloof frown as he watched mini windshield wipers appear and slowly wipe away all the condensation clean off the visor.
"...I read the manual." Fenton held up a black gizmo-thumb and smiled.
"Hold it, HOW did you know that the Gizmosuit even had a manual?"
"...I found the secret compartment." He smiled and held the same heroic thumb upwards.
"Hold it, HOW did you know that the Gizmosuit even had a-"
"-Would you just, STOOPP?! Wait-" Fenten paused as he glanced over the a large muscular divine figure giving someone a parctically rough and violent massage on a portable massage table.
"Oooh- Stork baby, a little lower. No, a little higher. No, a little lower again. No, just a little higher..."
"Oh valiant Gladstone! Your muscles be as tense and rigid as fallen King Homer's courageous odyssey through time and infinite danger! Oh my titans, thats twas was most incredulity corny of me..." The massive massager said most regretfully before gently tipping his relaxed employer into the mineral-rich heated spa and rolled the table away.
Floating flat on his back in his green accented bathrobe in the deep warm water, the mysterious figure was slowly carried around in circles by two hippie dressed bored merducks and then lifted up and out of spa by a couple of similarly tired-out harpies.
"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh..." The figure stood upright with his eyes closed and lazily snapped his fingers together, instantly blow-drying his bathrobe and feathers completely dry with an unseen magical blast of air.
"-WHAT?!" Fenton finally finished while still in clear disbelief.
"When my public named me lucky they weren't just awoofin'. Ah, L.P., Dr. Gearloose, weary travelers, the fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse, been wondering when you'd show up, how's the end of the world been treatin' ya?" The figure asked after opening his eyes and walking towards his guests with a carefree smile.
"MAN, HORSE!" Manny angrily corrected.
"Just hunky dory..." Ma Beagle calmly replied, suddenly looking much more cross than usual.
...
"I wanna a massage! Ooow!" Black Arts yelped as his mother sharply slapped him on the back the head.
"...Welcome, to our humble abode, a literal Elysium of peace and tranquility in these trying times. The Temple, of the Lucky Goose. And that Goose would be, well, yours truly. Gladstone Gander." The Goose stood back as motivational clapping and cheering could be heard coming from out of nowhere.
"We've got plenty of rooms, food, drinks, entertainment, infinte song requests from the lovey miss Harp of Mervana, every-thing. You can all stay as long as you want, completely free of charge and obligation. As money is, well, worthless now anyway... Ain't I just the best?" Gladstone asked with a noticeable smug grin spread across his bill.
"...He's got horns holding up his halo." Ma Beagle slowly shook her head while looking very clearly displeased.
"But, there's only ONE rule. The most important rule of all."
"Because, uh, it's the only rule, right?" Launchpad asked.
"Right. Never, under ANY circumstances EVER, say, THIS, name..." The Goose quickly handed the pilot a twenty dollar bill with a certain familiar name scribbled on it.
"...Gotcha."
"Well, what's the name?" Gyro asked as he tried to take a quick peek at it.
"What? Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Launchpad said as he held the note far back away from Gyro. "He just told me NOT to say the name, and you expect me to just say it? Please."
"But- But you could just show-"
"-HHmph!" He quickly ripped the bill apart and let the pieces scatter and fall to the damp floor.
"...HA! That's my MAN!" Penumbra cheered as he continued to tightly hug Launchpad's leg.
"Ha-ha-ha. Weird looking kid you got there." Gladstone chuckled.
"Ha-ha-ha yeah. I'm not even one hundred percent sure WHAT she is. Pretty sure she's some kind of shell-less turtle."
...
"I'm most certainly not a some kind of shell-less turtle you most beautiful hunk man." The young moonlander suddenly began to think straight and clearly again.
"Launchpad, Penumbra is a moonlander, Della's friend. She's native to the Moon." Fenton tried his best to explain.
"Moon what now?" Launchpad looked perplexed.
"Uhh. An alien..."
"...Wait, AN- AN ALIEN?! Is- Is she the reason why the world ended and has gone all bad?! Is- Is Della in on this too?!" The pilot paused and gasped dramatically.
"WHAT ABOUT MR. DEE? IS HE A PRISONER OF THE MOON?! ALIENS INVADERS FROM THE MOON INVADED US AND TOOK ALL OUR FLESH?! UUUUUUHHH!" Launchpad gasped loudly again as everyone in the room just stared awkwardly at him in silence.
"A MOONVASION?!"
"...Oh yes. I can confirm that actually, yes, she is." Gyro slowy pushed Launchpad away from him. "But we stop them in the end, don't freak out or anything. I hate to see a grown, man-child, cry like this."
"Oh. Neat!"
"...Okay. Now, getting back to me, I think, the true reason for living is when-" Gladstone stopped to stick his hands in his bathrobe and pull out a single polished dime from his pocket. "-Whoa! What do you know! Just found a dime. Ha, lucky!" He flipped the silver coin up in the air and back into his pocket.
"I'm sure it'll come in handy later. Ha-ha-ha..." The Goose smiled and then paused with a perfectly confident expression on his face
"How about dinner?"
...
"MMMMmmm! MMMMmmm-mmmm! Oh, Selene, Selene. This is great, this is great. Delicious. My compliments to the chef." Gladstone spoke with his mouth full and wiped his bill with the fancy tablecloth spread across the long dinner table.
"Thank you Mr. Gladstone..." The Goddess of Moon quietly thanked him and set down an empty serving tray.
Sitting awkwardly at the other side of the table and behind a straight row of lit red candles, Ma Beagle and her three sons sat alone in their chairs and occasionally glanced at each other while watching their host loudly gobble down his golden plate full of food while a short stubby pegasus played a soft heavenly song on a harp.
"...What, even is that?" She finally asked.
"Mmmm-Mmmm. I don't know. Selene, what is this?" The goose asked with food still in his mouth.
Selene sighed and forced herself to smile. "Fried Frogman Legs and Ducky Mountain Oysters..."
"Oysters huh? Well that doesn't sound so bad..." Ma Beagle lightly tapped one of the Oysters with her finger.
"It's actually minotaur testes." The Moon goddess kindly explained as Ma Beagle sat speechless in disgust and Burger slowly reached over the table to grab a handful to eat.
"...HOLD IT!" She suddenly slapped his hand away. "Ain't no sons of mine are eating any dang bovine knackers! We'll skip straight to desert."
"Oh, please do!" Selene lit up in joy as she hugged the empty tray flat to her chest. "We've got Grape Jelly Donuts, Chocolate Lava, and Glazed Moon Cakes!"
"...It's not made with pieces off the actual Moon if that's what thinking. And chocolate, molten lava, isn't, a real thing. Although I wish it was. Sorry."
...
"Oh, wow. Jelly donuts and Latin style seafood!" Fenton rubbed his gizmo-hands together and looked over the large spread of many gourmet dishes in front on him, as Manny only starred silently down at his small meal of unseasoned, freeze-dried hay, unsure of exactly how he was going to eat it. "This is great! But we should really take a doggie bag back to Webby though. She seemed very, VERY, hungry."
"Oh, the little kid girl is here too?" Gladstone casually asked as he reclined back in his chair and laid his feet up on the table.
"Yeah. I- I think she was starving. And possibly even badly hurt..." Fenton mentioned while sounding a little sad for her.
"...Whoa now, a starving hurt little girl? Hmmmm. Can't have that." Gladstone slowly lifted up his feathered right hand in the air with his eyes closed and snapped his fingers.
...
"Hey."
"Hey." Big Time slowly spoke back to Webby as they both stared up at the temple high atop Ithaquack.
"...Wanna, talk about something?"
...
"Not-specially." The short Beagle Boy said without looking down.
...
"So, uh. How's it like to have siblings, and a mother?" Webby asked, hanging her arms limlpy out of the Time Tub and gently swayed them about.
"I don't have any parents, or any brothers or sisters either. My British granny has taken care of me my whole life..."
"Uugh, just go and tell me about it." Big Time began and started pacing around the beach in anger. "Having a family is the absolute worst! They boss you around, slap you, always looking down at you, tell you that you and your plans aren't dang good enough! They always be puttin' ya down. They treat you like a- a- a criminal!"
"...Maybe because you're, a, a runt?" Webby balanced her elbows on Huey's cap and supported her head up with her hands. "You know, looking down at you. Be- Because, you're- you're, a little little?"
...
"I AIN'T A LITTLE LITTLE! I'm big Beagle! A Big Time! WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP CALLING ME LITTLE?!"
Webby blinked.
"Has it ever occurred to you that not everyone and everything in the world isn't like, giant? And that you might be, just a little, on the, puny side?"
...
"Whoa. You dun just shattered my entire perception of reality." Big Time suddenly looked frightened in a big wide world full of danger and strangers.
"If- If I ain't Big Time, then- then who am I? Am I-" The enlightened Beagle Boy gulped. "-Small Time? Then- Then- Then I-"
"Do you suppose, that this is kinda like an metaphor for life?" Webby started simultaneously talking over Big Time as Huey began to uncomfortably tug at his mask in the dark.
"No matter what we do, no matter how much we accomplish, it will all be forgotten about in the end and no one can do a thing about it? Are we all, just tiny black and white set pieces in a dark depressing chess match of the gods in a world full of only pain, hunger, heartbreak, unanswered questions, and inescapable personal loss and regret?"
"-and that I always needs a booster seat." Big Time finished, prompting Webby to stare back at him in silence as her stomach growled.
"What?"
...
"Euuhhh..."
Flash! The Time Tug and Webby were instantly snapped away in the blink of a small Beagle's eye.
"...WAAAAHH-AAAAHHH-AAAAHHH?! The- The- The only person that was ever willing to talk to me and listen to my deep emotional troubles, gone. GOOONNEE! What do I do?! What do I do?!" Big Time started to panic and run around the empty beach as Huey began to try to ask who exactly 'they' where.
"Don't worry nerd! I won't let them take you too!" The Beagle Boy tightly hugged the blind duckling and then froze in fear.
"Unless, UUUUHHH! THEY TAKE ME FIRRSSSTT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Big Time went back to running scarred in small circles as Huey only stood still in blind confusion.
"Wwwamph wwmhhhht?"
...
"Wait what? WHAT?! WHHAAAATT?!" Webby suddenly found herself and the Time Time facing a carefully engraved stone goose print wall and away from the dinner table with all it's occupants now staring at her.
"WHERE THE HECK I AM?! WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYTHING?! And what is that delicious smell? It's almost like a thousand of my own kind cried out in sudden death and then where served up for me on a silver platter. Wait..." She quickly turned around in the water and audibly gasped in shock.
"Uncle Gladstone?!" Webby suddenly gasped again. "Literally everything?!"
"Hey." Gladstone lazily waved to her from his chair.
"...Fooooooood! WAAhhhhh-" Splat! The overjoyed little merduck fell flat out of the tub and onto the floor in excitement and just laid there.
"-Ow."
"Here Webby, let me help you." Fenton gently lifted her up in his gizmo-lap.
"Th-Thank you... Fooooooood! Fooooooood! CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME?!"
"Ha-ha-ha. Have all you want kid." Gladstone smiled. "We've got plenty. Well, infinity to be exact. Dig in."
"...YES! Infinity food! It's all my sleepless dreams come true!" Webby immediately began stuffing her mouth full of the random assortment of seafood dishes and sides.
"I have some many questions! What is going on here, how did you survive the apocalypse?! Are you now secretly a lich? Do you have any jelly donuts, and can I swim through them?! Who prepared this? It's absolutely amazing! And does eating this make me a cannibal?!"
"Why do you not sound at all concerned about that?" Gyro asked with a condescending expression as the merduck started to stuff the Ducky Mountain Oysters down her bill without even chewing them.
"Uhhh... I feel like I someone should tell you that's fried minotaur testes." Ma Beagle told her, causing Webby to stuff another oyster in mouth and slowly chew it while looking only slightly concerned.
Suddenly feeling very mistreated, Bouncer quickly pushed himself away from the table and stood up. "If she can eat em' why can't I?!"
"SIT, CON SARNIT!" His mother sharply slapped the tall Beagle Boy in the face.
"Ahhhh!"
"...Oh, Liu and Selene prepared it. Ha, thank them." Gladstone said before reclining back farther in his chair.
"Wait, Lou?" Webby paused for a bit and then gasped after quickly recognizing a green amphibian looking figure standing still in the back of the room. "What is he doing here?" She whispered, trying to avoid looking him in his cold, bitter gaze.
"Isn't that Liu Hai the ancient Spirit of Chance and Fortune and evil luck vampire? He held you prisoner in a LITERAL stacked house of cards."
"...Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that was centuries ago. He's completely reformed!" Gladstone laughed heartily as Liu Hai turned to walk away into the kitchen, not taking eye contact off them until he completely disappeared into the thick darkness.
"That's, probably not the last we're going to see of him..." Webby commented. "And did you just say centuries? What year even is thi-"
"-Ahh, look Vero, a real life living fellow Mervanan. And child one at that." An unfamiliar hippie couple suddenly walked up to the dinner table and bent down to Webby's level before her question could be answered. "Hi, what's your name?" The woman shook her hand.
"I'm not a Mervanan, I'm a Webby. Also, what is an Mervanan?" The little merduck asked, looking a little uncomfortable from the sudden unwanted attention.
"It's what WE are. It's who YOU are. You're one of US, as we are one with YOU..." The man explained while the woman began squeezing and pinching the little merduck's cheeks.
"...Check it out Vero, she's got a pink bippy."
"Okay, okay. You two need to just back off a bit okay? You're both kinda freaking me out here. Who even are you guys?"
"Yeah, I have to agree. This is a little odd..." Fenton nodded and held Webby closer.
"...Oh, sorry, I'm Aletheia, and this is Vero." The woman explained.
"And we're Mervanans, gimme some skin." Vero held out his hand to Webby who only frowned in return.
"...Dirty cannibal."
...
"Gimme some skin, is just short and groovy for, let's shake." The male Mervanan held out his hand to her again.
"And us Mervanans, are just what society people usually call, mermaids and mermen." Aletheia smiled and lifted Webby away from Fenton and up in her arms. "And your one them!"
"...So, you're both mermaids and hippies?" Webby suddenly gasped in excitement. "Mer-hippies! But- But if- if you're actually a mermaid, then how you do have legs? And- And breathe air-" The little merduck was suddenly interrupted by her lack of breath and began choking and struggling about.
"Oh my, do you have a piece of food lodged in your throat? Maybe an oyster?" Aletheia turned her around and began patting her on the back.
"...W-W-W-Water."
Fenton sighed and gently pulled Webby away. "Would you please excuse us for just a minute..." Quickly rolling over to the Time Tub, the Latin duck placed her underneath the water.
"She'll, be a while."
...
"Feel yourself become one with the deep blue ocean!" Aletheia calmly continued as if nothing had just happened. "Feel the waves, the gentle tides, smell the salty breeze, and connect with the serene ocean life..."
"But- But the ocean, is all just blood now." Webby said as she finally resurfaced safe and sound from the water.
"A minor setback." Vero began. "...Our inner strength, your inner strength. You dig it?"
"What?"
"The power that sleeps deep inside you, the power that sleeps inside us all..." Aletheia raised her hands in the air.
"Ugh, in layman's terms please..." Webby tapped her fingers on the side of the Time Tub in annoyance.
"Who's Layman?" Launchpad asked.
"...Oh, the magic all Mervanans have to live on both the land and in the sea. When we're on land, our tails transform into legs and we can breathe without water, and when we're in the sea, they change back. And also other rad magical abilities..."
"...Who's Layman?" Launchpad asked again in the exact same tone.
"Seriously, how can you NOT know about this? And how old are you anyway, didn't you're parents ever teach all about this in Mervanan school?" Aletheia asked. "It's all common Mervanan knowledge..."
"It's a, long story." Webby began as she rested her head on the tub. "Fenton, could you please get me a drink?"
"Oh, sure." He quickly grabbed her a small glass of cider from the table and handed it to her.
"Basically, I got kidnapped by an evil sorceress who hates me and my family, tortured my very best friend Lena who also happens to be her own shadow magically brought to life, and transformed me into one of you guys against my will." She paused to take a quick sip from her drink. "It's not very fun, and I miss my legs. I know they weren't much, but without them. I'm afraid I shall be forever known as only 'Y' Vanderquack..."
"Oooh, far out man." Vero nodded.
...
"Who's Layman?"
"...Ha-ha-ha! Don't worry about it kid." Gladstone laid back relaxed in his chair as Webby took another quick sip of cider and closed her eyes. "Circe will transform you back real quick. After all, it's the first duty of every loving wife to fulfill all the wishes of their devoted husband."
"Hmm? PPPHHHHTTTPTPTHHPTHH!" Webby quickly popped open her eyes and sprayed a month-full of cider all over Manny far across the table.
"W-H-Y?!" A very wet Manny slowly clapped while the little ecstatic merduck dececied to completely give up on trying to remain calm.
"OH MY GODDESS! Circe! You really married Circe?! The Goddess of Magic Circe?! The Circe with the curly tail and the darkest disposition?! That Circe?!"
"Yeeeppp. That Circe..." Gladstone nodded with a smile.
"...Where is she?! Can you tell me about her?! What's her favorite spell? Familiar, quote, movie, monster? Who was your best man? Can you adopt me?! Webbigail Gander, sounds great to me! And why am I always in the middle of drinking something when something exciting happens to me? And can you just adopt me ALREADY?!"
"Hold it. I thought law didn't mean anything to you..." Gyro stood up in front of Webby and gave her a cold look.
"...Only when it's in my favor!"
"WEBBY, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!" Gyro immediately demanded.
"Nice to see she's finally back to normal..." Fenton smiled.
"Okay okay, before we make this official, is there anything important I need to know about you first?" Gladstone began after standing up and stretching. "Do you carry any dark family curses? Have any allergies? Your birthday?"
...
"I don't get along with well donkeys. And is that a YES?! YES! PLEASE TELL ME, WHERE IS SHE?!" Webby asked as she continued to only grow more and more excited.
"Eh, last I've seen of her, she was in the garden..."
"...YES!" The little merduck immediately threw herself at Manny's back and smacked him. "Giddy-up Manny! Wheeeeee!"
"I can't help it! It's, heredity!" The masked Headless Man-Horse said as he fell on all fours and began to quickly gallop away.
"Hey, uh, wrong way! It's the third door, on- on the right!" Gladstone yelled just before Manny ran out of the room.
"...I know, I've been here before. Giddy-up Manny! Wheeeeee!" Webby held on tight as Manny carried her out into the rest of the temple. "Who knew that getting kidnapped would be the singe BEST thing that's ever happened to ME?! Wheeeeee!"
"Anything to make a little kid happy." The lucky Goose smiled and laid back in his chair.
"You're all heart..." Ma Beagle frowned.
"...I am so touched at how this family has embraced this situation." Selene hugged herself. "They hardly even know this child, and yet they already love and have accepted her in with open arms. Anyone who ever wondered how much they could love a child who did not hatch from their own eggs know this, it is absolutely the same. The feeling of love is so profound, it's incredible, and surprising."
"It's true man, it's true. Love is the most ferocious and strongest force on the planet." Vero added.
"Pure love. Just, pure love..." Aletheia felt faint from pure joy.
"...Dr. Gearloose, this is perfect. I thought for sure something bad was going to happen and that we'd all end up in a big fight with someone." Fenton began. "But this is great! We can leave Webby here in future were she'll obviously be much happier and live out the rest of her life, and then we time travel to the past before the world ends and rescue the other past Webby and bring her home before anything bad happens to her."
"Uhh, I don't think that's how time travel works, but-"
"-The past places no absolute limit on the future." Fenton quickly interrupted with a chuckle. "We'll, make it work."
"Uhh, I- I don't-" Gyro was once again interrupted as he was quietly pulled aside by Ma Beagle.
"This coffee boiling four-flusher Gander fella is crooked as a Beagle's hind leg. You grab the plates, I've got to see this. There's something fishy going on around here, and I'm gonna find out what. BOYS! Stay put..." She ordered as she slowly walked off after Webby.
"...And no dang bovine knackers!"
"AWWWWW!" The three disappointed Beagle Boys sat back down in their chairs.
...
"So, this is what true love is?" Penumbra questioned aloud. "Putting all kindness and consideration first until ultimately crash do us part?" The young moonlander blinked.
"I could live with that..."
...
"Who's Layman?"
...
"Faster Manny! Faster!"
The sound of rapid clip-clopping filled the silence of the massive Temple of the Lucky Goose as Webby rode Manny the Headless Man-Horse as fast as she possibly could towards her legendary childhood idol.
"Yes. Yes! YES! Almost there, almost there! ALMOST-"
Nearing the familiar replica of Ithaquack leading up to Selene's secret garden, Manny suddenly came to a complete stop at the base, launching Webby off his back at high speeds and shooting her straight through the air and the circular door into the quiet temple chamber.
"-WAAAAAHhhhhh!" She hit the floor and slid across it on her stomach, her short painful journey ending at the feet a tall, barefooted figure currently facing away from her. Surprisingly, the almost motionless figure didn't even bother to turn around in surprise of who was now currently in the room with her.
Slowly looking up at her, the little merduck on the floor could make out the shape of an anthropomorphic pig with long jet black hair wearing a dark pink and purple dress.
It was Circe, the true Goddess of Magic, in the flesh, and Webby couldn't contain herself anymore.
"Hi, I'm Webby! Your new adopted daughter honorary niece of world-renowned adventure trillionaire Scrooge McDuck and your most loyal follower! Nice to meet you! CAN I CALL YOU MOMMY?!"
...
"Scrooge, McDuck, was it?" She finally responded.
"Hmmm. I've met him."
...
"Twice..."