Hallo and welcome back!
You guys have no idea how happy it makes me that you seem to like this ugly bird! This chapter was the first one I wrote, all the way back in June 2019, which some of you might remember was just when the relationship between her parents got kinda serious and commited in Shôganai. This chapter had just been a ramdom thought passing through that scattered brain of mine. It turned out I'm a huge sucker for big bad menacing fathers with their little ~~princesses~~ demonspawns and things really went downhill from there. Rexica didn't do shit to rein me in on this, in fact spurred me on even more... and so I ended up having to conveniently bust Robin's birthcontrol. A move I usually hate reading, because... you know if it's compromised just keep it in your pants but I now fully understand why an author would start reaching for straws just to make that stupid brat happen. Anyways, here you have it, ovary exploding cuteness. Have fun!

The crew thought it was a good idea to leave a child making its first attempts at talking alone with its grumpy marimo father.

His daughter was a heavy sleeper. Before waking up, she hadn't stirred once. Kid came after him in too many ways if one was to believe the witch and exactly the right amount if one asked him. It was easy looking after her while the others were out exploring the peaceful island, mainly because the kid had tremendous fun no matter what he did with her. Using her as extra weight during his training had her squealing and laughing more than the curly peekaboos, and now thoroughly spent, she was completely content to nap on his chest. And as long as he put the soft gloves over his hands when he changed her diapers there was absolutely nothing in his presence that would make her cry. This was perfect. There wasn't even anybody around teasing him with the nauseating cuteness of the scene.

They often napped like this, hidden away in some room, him sprawled on the floor propped up against the wall and the negligible weight of the tiny toddler on his chest. He'd been up since the girl had started stirring, but his eye only snapped open when tiny chubby hands smacked against his cheeks with more force than he would have expected from the little squirt.

"Ma, ma, ma," she made, her eyes darkening as if frustrated that the word she was searching just wouldn't come out the way she wanted. Made him chuckle, and the kid bounced on his chest, frustration making way for a little squeal for just a moment before the darkness returned.

"I feel ya, lil bird, let's just leave the talking to your mum," he laughed but just earned a scowl that was just a little too much like his own. He'd never understand how such an ugly thing could be so fucking cute. Was nauseating.

"Ma, ma… ma."

"Want your mama? She'll be back in no time," he tried to pacify but earned another smack to his face. Fucking brat. "Cut that out kid or you can sleep on the floor next time," he chastised her even though he wasn't sure she understood him… Robin insisted that she could understand even though she hadn't really uttered her first word yet. Sometimes she seemed like she understood, but at times like that she looked so much like Luffy when he acted as if he understood that he couldn't really take it seriously.

"Ma, ma, ma .. ma, maa," she made again, her gaze turning darker with every try. Oh please fuck, don't let her develop that singing tick like Goldilocks from Alabasta! In fact, don't let her talk at all, they'd be upset if they couldn't witness the girl's first word.

"Ma ma marimo," she finally said, followed by a happy squeal and a tiny fist rubbing his hair.

What the actual fuck?

"Marimo! Marimo marimo,"she squealed over and over again.

"Oh fucking hell, I'm gonna kill that fucking cook!"

She looked at him, blue eyes big and mouth agape. Scratch that, she definitely understood that and in horror he watched as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I'm fucked," he said before slapping a hand first over his own mouth and then his daughter's.

One deep breath. "So, Tori, I want you to listen very carefully, you got me?" he asked, but she just blinked her big eyes at him, still fucking laughing. Damn brat had no idea what was at stake here.

"I want you to never ever speak any of those words again, alright? This will stay between the two of us, alright? No need to tell your mum, or aunt Nami, or Curly Brow, got it? Nobody is to know that you said that," he stressed, hoping against hope that Robin's brains in the kid were strong enough to cancel his out.

Tori just cocked her head to the side, eyebrows drawing to a scowl.

Fuck.

"You want chocolate? You can have chocolate if you keep this a secret!"

She squealed, "So, so!"

Thank fuck that kids were easy to bribe. He made his way to the kitchen, toddler slung over his shoulder while she stretched her limbs from her as if she was flying. "So, so, so!"

Yeah, he would get into trouble for giving the kid sweets, and yes, he would also get in trouble for cutting the lock to the storage. But that would be nothing compared to the mortification of curly brow knowing that his kid's first word had been marimo or the electrocution he'd suffer if the witch found out that 'fuck' most likely was second.

They must have napped longer than he'd thought, because just as Tori was sitting on the dinner table, thoroughly covered head to toe in molten chocolate, both cheeks stuffed with the sweet treat like a fucking chipmunk, the crew returned. Well, the part of the crew he wanted to see least did… and they hadn't even brought Chopper to treat his inevitable injuries.

"What is going on here," Curly Brow asked, gesturing from the kid to the chocolate wrappers and the destroyed locks.

Tori audibly gulped down approximately 5 pounds of chocolate before giggling and clapping her filthy hands together.

"Marimo, fuck," she squealed.

Fucking traitor.

Hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think, pretty please! And just in case, I repeat, I don't have children, Tori is my child now, so please don't hold me accountable to the development stages she goes through here.
huge thank you to Rexica for managing to beta this chapter and for encouraging me with this story, and for listening to all my crazy, ridiculous, adorable ideas. You wouldn't have this fic if it wasn't for her, so if you're up for it (and old enough) check out her amazing fic!

Tori will be back in two weeks to annoy her aunt a bit!