Hallo and welcome back!
I have to say, this chapter was tremendously fun to write I hope you all enjoy it as much as me and my braincell did!
What could possibly go wrong if you give two children (?) markers and a sleeping Marimo?
There are moments in every proud warrior's life when they know their battle-honed instincts work. Moments when all the dirt and sweat have paid off because the danger can be felt in their very bones. Some call that Haki, but he knew it was something else because he's had observation Haki since Dressrosa. Knew how it felt when it tickled the edge of your conscience, and this wasn't it. No, the feeling of dread that had settled in the pit of his stomach from the very moment the little psycho had shared one look with their captain had nothing to do with Haki, but everything with sailing with a crew of lunatics for years.
The moment the two children had silently packed all their markers together… Well, that had nothing to do with his experience with the crew, that was basic parenting 101. When loud rambunctious children are suddenly silent, shit is going down. He knew that for a fact. Everyone knew that.
Where his brave warrior instincts came into play was the fact that, while hiding- no, while settling on the lawn deck a safe distance away from the still sleeping swordsman so any mishaps with his latest little creation would not endanger the crew- he knew someone would come very close to drowning today. Even before the sneaking artists tiptoed their way over the deck to settle on the grumpy swordsman's lap.
It said a lot about their relationship; he could remember a time Zoro would stir the moment anyone even moved, but now it didn't seem to matter which one of them came close… He had even seen Law approach him on occasion and he really, really didn't want to think too hard about that. No. Absolutely not. His little mishap with Hiyori years ago had taught him a lesson. He would most definitely not question any relationship the grumpy man had with anyone. Nope, he would not go down that rabbit hole again. And he most definitely would not start wondering how Zoro and Robin had come across the surgeon on their date. They most definitely hadn't looked like they had tried to sneak on board unseen during their impromptu midnight barbeque party. Nu-uh.
What he would do is watch closely under the guise of trimming his latest breed's leaves. They all did; Nami peeking over her newspaper, Brook watching over the edge of his Soul King cup. Robin pretending to read next to Franky, using the bulk of his body to block out the glaring midday sun, while the pervert sorted his Speedos by colour. Chopper ground already pulverized medication in his mortar while throwing new ingredients next to it because his eyes were glued to the scene. This was that moment. That moment before disaster struck. The moment where they all collectively held their breath. Even Sanji had stopped fawning over Nami, Just quietly handed her her drink, almost spilling it when they blindly tried to reach.
His warrior instincts had his body coiled, braced for impact. Only Jinbe seemed less intrigued and more worried. Of course he was, no matter that she tried to eat him on a regular basis, the little psychopath was his little princess. So much so, that instead of helping them get her to sleep the other night he had *manned the helm* in a freaking port because he wouldn't want the girl to associate him with anything bad. Seriously, they had thought the former Shichibukai would, don't know, be a level headed, sane addition to their crew but nope, the Fishman was just as much of an idiot as the rest of them.
One eye snapped open and he could swear there was a gasp going through all of them. Time stilled as the grey eye seized up the giggling opponents. The calm before the storm! Oh, what would become of these careless souls that had dared wake the demon from his slumber! One life barely lived and another that had cheated death far too often. Oh, what tragedy would befall the cr-
The giggling stopped as naked fear choked the two young heroes' hearts at the realization of what they had done, for the beast in front of them was truly horrible. Two eyes where one should be, one dead and empty and the other alight with fury and the promise of a gruesome death. Two horns protruding from a furrowed forehead, crooked and nasty as if rotting away already and the most unkept beard in history just barely able to hide the atrocious fangs zigzagging across snarling lips. Oh these poor souls, frozen in the face of mortal danger! But alas! There was hope yet! For it was well known that even the most fearsome beast may be swayed by the soft touch of a beautiful maiden!
One look toward the creepy archaeologist still sitting in the shipwright's shade, her book closed, resting in her lap, lips curled upwards with fondness for the horrifying beast and amusement at the young heroes' predicament. Oh, cruel fate! There truly was no hope left and thus, with two splashes of water the heroes vanished from the face of the earth!
Vanished... Vanished? What the– again the crew acted as one, almost, jumping to their feet and sprinting across the deck, one black dress shoe barely missed him as it was kicked from its foot.
"What the fuck are you crazy?! You can't just throw a three-year-old overboard, are you insane?!" Nami cried leaning over the railing to watch out for Sanji to resurface.
"Fufufufu, I do hope you tossed her far enough so she won't be dragged under Sunny." Robin laughed with just enough polite threat in her voice that it made his hairs stand on end as opposed to the recipient.
"Of fucking course I threw her far enough, woman, what kind of shitty father do you take me for?" The demon answered visibly annoyed. And just like that the vague concern left Robin and was replaced with something he really didn't feel like getting involved in. Especially not when his warrior senses were warning him of a much more dangerous storm brewing behind him.
"And you! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Nami seethed, poking their helmsman in the chest, "you're a fucking Fishman why the fuck is still Sanji the one diving in to save them? You could have had them out in half the time!"
At least Jinbei had some sense of self-preservation, hands held up apologetically he had the decency to look guilty.
"I apologize, Nami, I assumed that it is custom to let Luffy sink for a bit?"
"And what about the child goddamnit?"
"Ah, but the young ones can swim from birt–"
"She's human for fuck's sake! How could I have ever thought you'd be any better than the rest. Is this my fate? To grow old and ugly surrounded by idiots?"
Oh no, that weak voice of their usually feisty navigator, the terrifying sorceress of the sea… When Franky hauled up Sanji with the two defeated heroes, one passed out and one already laughing and clapping her surprisingly clean hands together the fight left her completely. And while their panicked doctor slapped their idiot captain back to consciousness she sank against his strong shoulder seeking comfort.
"Why, Usopp? Why did we ever leave with these lunatics? Why do we stay?" She asked and they watched together as their sopping wet chef whipped the beast around to teach him that throwing children and anchors overboard wasn't really an option.
"Fufufufu, don't worry Sanji; fortunately, Tori is too scrawny to be of any interest for a seaking, she enjoyed herself and as an added bonus took a bath," the beast's bride intervened and yes, this was all the proof he needed.
Hugged Nami to himself, patted her head and squared his shoulders, he murmured against the crown of her head, "we left with them and stay with them because we're the only ones keeping them alive."
Huge thank you to SomethingGhosty for beta reading.
If you liked this chapter please drop a comment or kudos, see you next week with a bit of a more serious chapter.
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