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All mistakes are mine but the characters are not :D

Chapter 2

Considering the amount of alcohol I'd consumed, it wasn't surprising that I woke up face down on the bed, fully clothed with the hangover from hell. Even though the coffee and interesting conversation with Penis Girl had sobered me up considerably, I was still too drunk for any cab drivers to be willing to take me home so I'd had to walk. Another unsurprising fact was that Penis Girl had been on my mind for the entire walk—or wobble—home.

Even drunk and uncoordinated, I'd recognized she was gorgeous, spunky, and if nothing else frighteningly perceptive and terrifyingly accurate. Maybe she was a psychic? A witch? Another possibility was that I'd imagined her and I really hoped that wasn't the case.

With a groan, I rolled over onto my back and felt instantly worse, I knew one thing I could do to improve how I felt but I needed to build myself up to it. I heard the rain hitting the window so I peeked one eye open and looked outside—the sky was grey and sunless so it was safe to assume the rain was here for a while.

I could feel something digging into my back and reached around to see what it was; my phone and wallet were still in the back pocket of my jeans. I didn't just fall asleep last night I must have literally passed out as soon as I got near the bed. I chuckled to myself at the sorry ass state I was in when I got home and then cringed at the even worse sorry ass state I had to have been in I when I was talking to Penis Girl.

I looked at my phone and noticed an assortment of missed calls, voicemails and text message notifications. The more recent came this morning from my mother. Just a check in to make sure I wasn't wallowing alone in my apartment, mourning the loss of asshole ex-girlfriend. The rest of the text messages, missed calls and voicemails were from Emmett last night.

Pussy! First night as a single guy & you leave early. You need a pipe & some slippers, man. You're 25 not 95.

The only acceptable reason for ditching your friends on a night out is to get laid.

We met some cute chicks after you wimped out on us, if you hadn't vanished you could be getting a blow job right now.

I see you with the brunette!

Damn she's hot, hot, hot!

I take it all back. I'm proud of you man! We'll be quiet when we come home. Way to get over the asshole!

I love you man.

I laughed. As different as our personalities were, Emmett and I had been best friends since kindergarten. He was loud, outgoing, confident and without a serious or uptight bone in his body and I was absolutely none of those things. I was quiet, reserved and much less able to kick back and relax. I was a bona fide overthinker. I wasn't boring just cautious and I could admit that I was unable to just do or say whatever came to mind without breaking down every possible outcome or repercussion if I did. I worried too much about what people would say or think of me and if, on the rare occasion, something interesting or controversial happened I'd spend countless hours breaking every minute detail down criticizing myself for what I should have done, what I should have said and how I should have acted. I'd realised it was just easier to avoid the drama altogether.

In school Emmett's larger than life personality set him firmly in the popular click at school and, determined to bring me out of my shell, he dragged me into that group with him kicking and screaming. I never had an issue being the quiet one of our friends, in fact I'd never had an issue with any aspect of my personality until last night, when a cute, random stranger had spotted every quirk and flaw like I was wearing a banner and it left me feeling a little disgruntled.

As I set down my phone, I shook my head as I realised the person who had caused everyone else to worry about me had been the only one to not text to see how I was doing.

Too busy moving the new guy in. Poor sucker.

It was at high school that I met Jessica. Popular, blonde, cute, and a cheerleader, so it wasn't surprising that I, and most of the guys in the school, had a crush on her, I just didn't publicise mine. I told no one and did nothing about it so when she had been the one to ask me out, I'd been delighted. It had saved me the nerves and humiliation of having to approach her or telling Emmett I liked her knowing he'd do the talking on my behalf. We stayed a couple until we left high school and then agreed to cool things off while we were both attending different colleges. I was going to NYU and Jessica to Florida. Emmett had been ecstatic that I was single and still on a mission to loosen me up, he insisted on taking me out drinking and trying to set me up with girls.

He failed miserably.

After a few pitiful attempts at one-night stands I had retired from single-guy life. The sex wasn't bad, but neither was it worth the awkwardness the next morning. I warned him off trying again and I just settled back into my comfortable routine at college, more than content with it that way until Jessica and I decided to get back together about a year later.

Another point Penis Girl, or Bella as I should probably start calling her, had nailed was the fact I was a bit of a geek. A computer geek more specifically so it had come as no surprise to anyone that it was down that road I went after I left high school. I graduated with honour's from NYU and landed myself a job in the IT department of a global company with an office located in Manhattan, I even earned a big promotion just a year later to head up the department.

Emmett tried but hated college and barely lasted a semester. He quit and took a temporary job in a gym until he'd figured out what he wanted to do long term but he loved it so much he stayed there, only leaving when he and one of his work mates, Tyler, decided to go it alone. Together they set up their own personal training business and I had been their first guinea pig.

I was earning good money and Emmett and Tyler's business took off quickly so we rented an amazing loft on 3rd Avenue which I loved. For me, life had been great. I was twenty-five with a job I loved, a great apartment, having fun living with my friends and enough money to enjoy myself. Things with Jess seemed to be going well too, we had our own lives separately but enjoyed spending time together; it was the perfect balance until she told me she wanted us to live together in our own place.

It wasn't exactly what I'd been thinking about, but we had been together for six years so I agreed. We found another apartment and moved in together. I was blindsided when she dropped the it's over bombshell. I was blissfully unaware that there was anything wrong but here I was, back in my apartment surrounded by boxes of the stuff I'd packed just a few months ago.

I changed into a t-shirt and shorts and put on my trainers. I was hanging out of my ass big time, but I knew this would bring me around quicker than anything else I'd tried in the past. The apartment was quiet so either the guys were still asleep or they'd slept somewhere else last night.

Running had been something I'd never done in my life, in fact no sporting activities or exercise in general had been my thing until Emmett and Tyler had asked me to hire them. Credit where credit is due, they'd performed quite the transformation on me. Before they introduced me to weights and HIIT I was tall and skinny. I always had been the same build and expected I always would be, but after six months of their help I ended up well defined and muscular with a six pack I was proud of. I'd spent most of my time stuck behind a computer so despite never being overweight I was still unbelievably unfit, then I'd discovered running. I went from running sixty seconds feeling like I was going to pass out to running the New York Marathon for charity. That had been two years ago and even if I missed a gym session, I never skipped a run. It had become something I loved and today was no exception even with the hangover.

It was tough going at first but with each mile I did, I felt better and better. By the time I got to six miles I was feeling great. I jogged steadily back to the apartment cheerful, hangover free and ravenous.

"There's something about you that worries me deeply, Ed," Emmett groaned from the couch as soon as I walked through the door.

"You should try it," I suggested. "It cleared my hangover."

"I'm a professional but this… you… just not normal," he told me, his voice rough and he looked like I'd felt an hour earlier. "Feeling like this is payment for a good night out, just accept it—embrace it."

"Where's the hot brunette? Tell me you didn't kick her out of bed to go pound the streets?" Tyler was flaked out on the couch opposite Emmett. He looked and sounded equally as bad.

"I didn't kick her out of my bed," I told them and Emmett rose up like a meerkat.

"Is she still in there?" he whispered, noticeably more perky.

"No, she was never in my bed. We didn't hook up." I laughed and peeled off my sweaty and rain-soaked shirt. "She helped me stand up, watched me throw my guts up and then we just talked while she ate your body weight in pizza. Actually, she talked at me. After that she left."

"That's it? No quickie behind the club or over the clothes kiss and fumble in the cab?" Tyler shook his head. "Edward, seriously you need some kind of sexual intervention."

"Two things, Tyler," I said and kicked off my sneakers, throwing one of them in his direction. "First of all, I was not getting laid last night if I wanted to or not. I was totally shit-faced and the hot brunette had to hold onto my arm while I threw up in a trashcan. Somehow, even if I wanted to, I highly doubt that would have been a huge turn on for her. Would you kiss me after that?"

"I'd kiss you anytime buddy," Emmett guffawed and puckered his lips.

"I don't know whether to be flattered or terrified," I laughed. "I'm just jumping in the shower then I'm cooking breakfast. You guys want something?"

"Fuck yes I do," Tyler shouted. "We barely ate when you moved out. We missed our resident chef."

"Yeah, you look like you're on the brink of wasting away."

"A few more weeks without you and who knows if we'd have survived," Tyler said, evidently amused with himself. "What's the second reason?"

"I hate one-night stands," I said casually. "I'd even turn you down, Emmett."

"Wounded deeply, Edward," he said. "I know casual sex isn't something you agree with but—"

"Hey, I'm not saying that. If you want to hook up with different girls every week then go for it. I'm saying I hate them, me personally. Maybe Bella was right and I am an uptight prude, but I won't be changing that just to sleep with some random girl."

I started to walk to the bathroom and saw Emmett smirk. "What?"

"Hot brunette has a name then?" he chuckled. "To say you were totally shitfaced you obviously talked enough for you to remember her name and for her to figure you out. You're into her. You love her."

"She found me laid out on the sidewalk after my friends abandoned me," I bit back and they both laughed. "She stood me up, watched me puke and them made me buy her food. While she was eating, she reeled off all my traits, faults and full-service history then left."

"I like her," Tyler said and I found myself grinning. "So, when are you seeing her again?"

"I'm not." I shrugged. "I don't know where she lives and I don't have her last name or telephone number. I guess she's just one of those people you meet once and then go on your way."

"Shame," Emmett said. "You could have invited her to the party."

"Party?" I asked. "What did I miss?"

"Yeah after you wimped out on us and went home, we thought it would be a good idea to throw you a party."

I looked at him sceptically. "Don't use me or my recent transition to a single guy as an excuse to have a party."

"Okay, so it was Jasper's idea," Emmett conceded. "But it was a good idea and it had to be here; Jasper's place isn't big enough. We have the room for a party, we have history for throwing epic parties and we can screen the guests before we let them in the apartment. Who knows what unscrupulous characters you would run into in a bar in Manhattan? I'd hate for one of them to take advantage of you; my uptight, naïve, newly single best-friend."

"It'll be good fun, Eddie," Tyler said when he saw my expression. "You can invite some of your work mates—not the dorky ones though."

"I'm a dork, does that mean I'm not invited?" I asked hopefully and he scoffed.

"A dork you may be but chicks think you're hot and sensitive. So, on that basis alone, you are most definitely invited." Tyler winked and added, "Going back to what Jake said last night about dogs… you would be the cute, adorable dog that girls go mad for."

"You mean, the dog that girls fawn all over and then go home and fuck the owner?" I retorted. "So, you want me to play match maker?"

"Sounds like the perfect arrangement to me." Tyler shrugged.

"What does it matter anyway?" Emmett piped up. "You ain't fucking them. I hate one-night stands. Remember?"

I ignored him and went to shower. I almost checked my phone again to look for a message from someone I'd thought might have at least checked in to see how I was doing, but I stopped myself. I was going to be that guy and I wasn't going to let Jessicasshole sap my cheerful mood. Something Bella had said last night began to resonate in my head.

"You're not good with girls, probably never had to be. You probably stuck with the first girlfriend you had even though deep down you knew she was wrong."

Was that true? Had I really done that? Had I stuck with Jess? Did I know really it wasn't right? For all she knew she'd broken my heart and I'd heard nothing from her since I walked out of what was now her apartment. Surely all that time spent in a relationship with someone would at least result in a touch of concern after you broke up? Did that lack of concern mean we'd both known it wasn't right?

"Nah, of course not," I said to myself but doubting my words.

I thought back to us as a couple over the years. Sure, we'd had our ups and downs but things had been good for the most part, hadn't they? She had her faults and I absolutely had mine but you can't put up with mediocre for six years, can you?

MPA

Thankfully, due to a busy workload, I didn't have too much time to dwell on the break-up by Jessica or the break-down by Penis Girl. I'd avoided referring to her as Bella after Emmett implied that the fact I knew her real name somehow translated into her being the love of my life.

First thing Monday morning I made sure to thank Jasper for suggesting the party with only the slightest hint of sarcasm in my tone. We'd met in college and became good friends. We both found jobs at different companies but as soon as I got my promotion, I'd recommended him to fill my old position and we'd worked together ever since.

Although he wasn't quite in the same league as Emmett and Tyler, he was still nothing like me. As laid back as they came, confident considering he was a bigger IT geek than I was, nothing fazed him and he didn't give a rat's ass what anyone thought about him.

"I'd throw it at my place, but unless your idea of a good party is ten people crammed into a tiny apartment without the ability to move or breath then it's probably not the best idea." He shrugged and added, "I'm looking forward to it."

"Actually, a ten-person party with the risk of suffocation sounds more appealing," I muttered and Jasper chuckled.

"Well if that's what you're into, I'm beginning to understand why you're now single," he said to me, still amused. "I'm sure Felix in the Data Centre is into that sort of stuff too. I'll ask him for some telephone numbers for you."

"I just meant if I suffocated it would be over quicker," I said and it made him laugh even more.

"Really? And here I was thinking my friend of all these years was secretly into kinky shit and had just forgotten to mention it." Jasper shook his head and added, "There's more chance I'd see flying elephants and the real Santa Claus."

"Here we go again," I said in annoyance. "It's like Penis Girl opened the flood gates and now everyone's pointing out just how dull and dorky I am."

"Hey, I don't think you're dull, maybe a little bit dorky. Naïve and sheltered, yes; worried about people's opinion of you—definitely. Too much so." He closed the laptop and stood up. "I'm hungry, want some lunch bringing or are you coming with me?"

"It's 10:45am," I scoffed. "Just admit you want to get a chance to flirt with the new receptionist before the rest of the guys who've been eyeing her up go for their lunch."

"Perceptive you are, do that I must." Jasper winked.

"Terrible Yoda impressions from the guy who called me a dork." I laughed. "I'll come with you. James said he was going to drop by around 11am for a chat. That just means he's got a new car, a bonus or a new girlfriend."

James was one of the sales manager's and he loved the sound of his own voice. Good thing he did, because unfortunately for James no one else did.

"Please don't invite him to the party," he said. "You can tell the guy works in sales; every conversation is a pitch."

"If he shows up, I'm leaving," I said seriously.

The new receptionist was actually quite friendly and attractive and seemed much less of an air head than her predecessor. We stopped by the desk and Jasper flashed her a big smile.

"We're just heading out for some lunch. Can I bring you anything? The rain's coming down heavy now, I'd hate for you to have to go out in it." His voice was almost a purr. "We're going to the little take out just on the corner.

I glanced at him and stifled a laugh. "Unbelievable," I said under my breath, but the girl seemed to lap it up.

"Aren't you the sweetest," she said back, her eyes taking on more of a flutter. "If they have one of those little Mediterranean salads that would be amazing."

"That's all? I'd be hungry again ten minutes after I'd eaten that." I said and her eyes started fluttering in my direction.

"Oh, I just don't have a big appetite," she said with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders and I instantly shot a knowing look at Jasper. "In fact, I forget to eat sometimes."

"Small appetite? Wow, Jazz. We've never heard that from a girl before, or have we?"

"Maybe once or twice," he joked and the new girl looked puzzled. "A Mediterranean salad for the lady it is."

"Thank you, and the lady is called Victoria," she said to him sweetly. "I know from the photographs on the internal directory I use that you're Mr. Whitlock and you're Mr. Cullen and you're from the IT department, but what does the J & E stand for?"

"Jasper and Edward," Jasper replied for both of us.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper and Edward. I hope to have an IT related issue for you to deal with really soon."

I shook my head and walked towards the door laughing to myself. "So, it really does start early on," I said to him as we headed to the deli. "From the day you meet them the secret asshole behaviour commences."

"True fact," he agreed. "It's cool that we know about their little games and even cooler that they don't know that we know."

"How is it cooler?" I asked, doubtfully. "It doesn't make any difference. If we call them on the secret asshole behaviour, they'll just inevitably turn it around onto us. Take this situation, if we question the lack of appetite, she'll imply we were indirectly calling her fat or greedy and we'll be assholes. If we pretend that we believe her and only buy her salads and refuse to share our food then we'll be assholes who secretly think she's fat and are trying to starve her skinny or something. However, if we say or do nothing and let the assholeish behaviour continue, then it's the same situation we were in before except that this time we know we're being played and we're just schmucks who choose to do nothing about it."

"You think too much," Jasper laughed. "You make my head hurt."

"Tell me about it," I agreed. "I feel like I need a vacation from my brain sometimes."

MPA

Saturday morning rolled around quickly and our party was still going ahead. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, but was consciously trying to make an effort to enjoy this one for a change. Emmett and Tyler, on the other hand, had spent the last week planning every last detail, which was definitely not their usual method. Emmett had bought a new surround speaker system for the apartment and changed the spotlights to some new-fangled lights that would tie in with the music. I didn't know the specifications and I didn't ask again after he'd tried—and failed to explain it to me once. I'd gone with Emmett to shop for beer and snacks leaving Tyler at home planning his musical masterclass.

"I swear to god he'd better not put any shit songs on his masterclass playlist," Emmett said as we walked to the store. "Nothing clears a room like bad music and I've just spent a small fortune on that new sound system. "

"A few hours in and there'll be no one listening to the music, Em," I said and then glanced at him. "So, I've been thinking."

"You'd better not want to bond in the booze aisle, Ed," he said sceptically and then asked me, "How many bottles of Tequila should I get?"

"Well it's our party and we're buying it so I'd say one for each of us and one for everyone else to share," I said and he laughed. "Surely people will bring their own drink? I'd never show up to a party without—"

"You're not the majority of people in Manhattan, Edward. We need to assume no one is bringing their own otherwise it doesn't matter what music Tyler plays, no one will stay longer than five minutes without something to drink."

"Then I'd say four bottles of Tequila," I told him. "Anyway, back to bonding over booze. I'm not saying you and Tyler were right about me needing to get laid but—"

"We're right," he said absently and put six bottles of Tequila into the cart.

"No, you're not," I insisted. "But I do agree that it's about time I stopped giving too many shits about what people think. I need to go with the flow a bit more, you know?"

"Sex helps," Emmett said and ignored my expression. "Come on, tell me a downside to sex? It's free... usually, it's exercise so it's good for the body, and it's good for the mind because well, it's sex."

"I'm not arguing with you, Emmett. Going on the prowl for a casual hook up, it's just not me, not yet anyway." I smirked as Emmett looked at me in shock before adding, "But let's say getting la—having sex is at level ten of not giving a shit, right now I'm at level zero so it's too much of a jump. One step at a time, right?"

Emmett laughed and said, "The fact you're planning your behaviour change in steps, pretty much defeats the point of trying to be more easy going, Edward. For the record, there's nothing wrong with you. So, some chick thought you were uptight, who gives a shit if she's right or wrong?"

"I don't know," I admitted, picking up a crate of beer from the shelf. "Maybe she's wrong, or maybe she got lucky and guessed right, or maybe she's some kind of mind-reading witch, but either way she's got me thinking."

"Last bit of advice, don't think just do." He patted my shoulder and winked. "You wanna get drunk and go to bed alone tonight go ahead. Who gives a fuck? You wanna turn into a man whore and sleep with a different woman every night of the week—go for it! Or if you wanna stay single and live like a monk until the next Jess comes along, good for you. But if what some spunky chick said to you a week ago is still bothering you then either she's got it spot on and change might be a good thing or it's because it's specifically the spunky chick thinking you're uptight that's the real issue. I'm going for the second option. You liked her."

"We had two conversations while I was hammered. I vaguely remember her being hot and funny, but I also thought at one point I was stood up hailing a cab and in reality, I was laid out on the sidewalk waving at the sky so I'm not sure I'd trust my judgement there." I laughed. "Anyway, all girls are assholes remember?"

"Eddie, that asshole literally picked you up off the floor when you were wallowing in post dumpage self-pity and stood by and helped you puke. That's some perfect asshole."

Thanks again for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

I have almost finished writing chapter 3 and hope to have it posted next Sunday. See you soon xx