Now, Infinite And Big are alone. A moment of uncertain quiet
INFINITE
Wow.
BIG
Yeah?
INFINITE
Yeah, Big.
BIG
Thanks. I wasn't sure about it. I mean, I love the color—but I haven't worn it since my friend's wedding and I—
INFINITE
We better head over.
They walk. Infinite leads a brisk pace. Awkward silence
BIG
It's so good to get away from the ruins. You're the first person all day I could really talk to.
You like fishing? Nah.
INFINITE
C'mon, Big, keep up.
BIG
So...how long've you been with the Mercenaries?
INFINITE
Almost five months now. But I'm just getting started.
BIG
Five months. Must be hard to be so far away from home.
INFINITE
Gonna be a heck of a lot farther before they're done with me.
BIG
Where are you gonna be?
INFINITE
Well, first, I'm off to Mystic Jungle. But I'm aiming for this little place they call the Arsenal Pyramid.
BIG
concerned
the Arsenal Pyramid? But thats where eggman is.
INFINITE
So? Kick a little but, take a few names, be back in a couple of months.
BIG
The way you talk it sounds like a buncha guys getting rowdy at a bar.
INFINITE
You got something against Mercenaries, Big?
BIG
No, I just mean—well, you don't seem worried.
INFINITE
Nothing to worry about. We're going over there as advisors more than anything. Somebody's gotta teach 'em how to take care of the bots.
BIG
Well, it sounds dangerous to me.
INFINITE
Big, I got thirteen weeks of training under my belt.
BIG
warm, compassionate
Finny, aren't you scared at all?
INFINITE
That's a first class waste of time. Besides, I got a little extra protection. See:
Infinite pulls a Medal of Honor from his pocket. He shows Big, proud.
BIG
Is it—is this a real medal?
INFINITE
Looks real, don't it? My old man won it. Darn near took that beach all by himself. They're still talking about it.
BIG
returns the medal
It's lovely. But I'd still be scared. I mean, I don't know much about fighting. One day maybe I wanna join the Peace Corps, help out in some village or somewhere.
INFINITE
That's nothing. Just a buncha Melvins looking for a reason not to shave. If you wanna change the world, Big, you join the Mercenaries and start shooting. Shooting changes things pretty quick.
BIG
But you shoot at people and, what, you got people shooting back. I don't know how that's helping anything.
INFINITE
All I know is i'm getting sent across the big waters to make some changes, and we don't get issued no guitars. There's talking and there's doing-and there's a pretty big difference.
BIG
But why's the doing always gotta be done the same way?
INFINITE
Changing the subject
You know, you got real nice lips.
Big is taken aback by the abrupt shift. They stop walking
BIG
What?
INFINITE
You wearing any lipstick? Looks like it's rubbing off there.
BIG
No? Why? Do I have something on my face?
INFINITE
Yeah.
Big Starts Carefully To Wipe His Mouth. Infinite hovers.
Let me try.
Big Leans Down, Unsure. Infinite does it badly on purpose, crudely spreading color over his lips and beyond, making a mess of his fur.
BIG
Finny—Finny—
INFINITE
Hold still.
BIG
You're supposed to clean my mouth not make a bigger mess!
Big stops him, still good-natured and unsuspecting
You clean me up about as good as I do.
he opens his compact, shocked by what he sees. he starts to fix what Infinite's done
oh my gosh oh my gosh
i can make this alright
'cause tonight is my first...
well, tonight should be great
i have not really gotten to do this a lot
You know…
go out with a guy... on a date
Big Takes A Moment, Stops Fixing His Face, Opens Up To Infinite, honest and sweet.
who'd have thought this morning that i'd be...
that you'd appear
i'm just so excited that i was invited
and that...oh, finny, i'm so glad to be here
Infinite turns away from him. Unsure exactly what he's feeling—guilt, embarrassment—but acutely feeling it.
So…how do I look?
INFINITE
Big, maybe we shouldn't—
DEUX
Infinite!
Infinite Turns To See Deux And Bunnie, Approaching The Club. Infinite's Demeanor Immediately Changes, At Attention In Deux's presence.
INFINITE
Deux.
DEUX
Fine fellow you got there. I'll be sure to include this in my report to the Inspector General.
BIG
I'm Big.
DEUX
This here's Bunnie.
BUNNIE
Charmed.
DEUX
suggestive
I think I may have finally found the one.
BIG
Nice to meet you.
DEUX
The party's inside. Come on, doll.
Deux And Bunnie Head Inside. Big Moves To Follow But Infinite stops him.
BIG
They seem friendly.
INFINITE
Big, this party's really no big deal. We don't have to go in there.
BIG
No, I'd like to—
INFINITE
We could go somewhere else, if you wanna grab a bite.
BIG
Oh. If I embarrass you or something, if you don't wanna be seen with me, you can just say so.
INFINITE
No, that's not it.
BIG
genuine, even sweet
Then what is it, Finny? Tell me.
Infinite can't bring himself to admit the truth.
You invited me to a party. I wanna go.
just for a night
no holdin' tight let go
Come on, jarhead.
INFINITE
acquiesces
Semper Fi, Do or Die.
Infinite Offers His Arm And Leads Her Into The Club As We Transition Into The Dogfight…
The Nite Lite, A Low Rent Club. Scattered Tables., A Sleazy Vector Appears In Spotlight. Mercenaries And Their Dates dance on a small dance floor
[VECTOR]
BABY TRASH THAT MASHED POTATO OH THE TWIST WILL NOT BE MISSED THAT WAS '62
GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW
A DANCE THAT DON'T EXIST
YOUR ROCKET RIDE HAS JUST BEGUN COUNT DOW 1!
BLAST OFF
The Jackal Squad Share A Table With Their Dates: Infinite And Big, Deux And Bunnie, Cardinal With His Date, Shade, Who Is Fresh Off The Reservation, Preferably Round-Ish, And Largely Without Interpretable Expression. They've All Been Drinking.
CARDINAL
No, no, no—see, in bootcamp you line up according to height. In ITR—
DEUX
—that's Infantry Training after bootcamp—
CARDINAL
—there it's alphabetical order.
DEUX
So we were always lining up together. Got to be pretty tight.
CARDINAL
They started calling us the Jackal Squad—and we stuck together ever since. Getting ourselves inked up later tonight to celebrate.
DEUX
The Jackal Squad, for forever.
BUNNIE
So you got to be friends from standing in line?
She laughs heartily.
Oh boy, I'm gonna need another drink.
She snaps at Deux, who makes no move to help
VECTOR
start movin'
like you're groovin' on the moon yeah yeah yeah
A bit later. A bit drunker.
CARDINAL
to Bunnie
You live around here?
BUNNIE
What do you care? You ain't coming over.
INFINITE
loud
Where's our freakin' drinks?
BIG
You guys really like to swear, don't you.
INFINITE
No, we like to drink.
DEUX
No big thing, Big. It's just words. After a while you don't even hear it. Don't mean nothing.
BIG
to Infinite, their inside joke
Buncha jarheads, right?
BUNNIE
loud
Who do you have to smash to get a drink in this place?
DEUX
Hey now.
BUNNIE
unapologetic
I can't afford to be shy at an open bar. How 'bout you girls?
to Shade
You want another, honey—what's your name?
SHADE
stone-faced, as always
I'm Shade.
CARDINAL
proud of his catch
I met this fine lady over at the Transbay Terminal. All the way from Albuquerque.
BIG
Well, I just wanna say how happy I am to have met you. All of you. I'm having a real nice time. If Finny hadn't've walked into the diner, I'd be home now, listening to my records.
CARDINAL
Oooh, whaddaya got? Four Seasons, Bobby Vee?
BIG
No, not that kinda music. I'm talking about music that really says something, that has the power to bring people together. You ever heard of the song "We Shall Overcome?"
Deux And Cardinal can't hold in their laughter
What? What's so funny?
INFINITE
doesn't want Big to hear
It's nothing.
BIG
Why are you laughing? Have you even heard the song?
DEUX
We heard it.
CARDINAL
Yeah, we goof on it all the time.
BIG
You goof on it?
INFINITE
Forget it.
CARDINAL/DEUX
WE ALL WANT TO CO-O-OME… WE ALL WANT TO—
INFINITE
assertive
All right, all right, knock it off.
BIG
That's actually a pretty important song, you know. You shouldn't be making fun of—
INFINITE
How 'bout another drink, Big?
BIG
Oh, I'm on my second already.
INFINITE
It's just a Mai Tai, it's a child's drink.
an order
Bottoms up.
Big takes an acrid gulp
BUNNIE
to Big
That's it, honey, you're gonna wanna be good and loose when he drags you out on the floor.
BIG
excited
We're gonna dance, Finny?
Infinite is silent, stiff—but boiling underneath.
BUNNIE
Oh you gotta—those are the rules.
DEUX
tries to silence Bunnie
Angel face—
BIG
Rules?
BUNNIE
Oh sure, they gotta—
DEUX
stopping Bunnie
Heck, you're on a date, ain't you? If he asks you out and he don't take you dancing, he's a right sonofagun—that's all Bunnie's saying.
BUNNIE
No, what I'm saying—
DEUX
No one cares, Bunnie, trust me.
VECTOR
start movin'
like you're groovin' on the moon blast off!
The song ends. Applause.
Thank you, thank you.
A slower, more romantic intro begins to play. Vector Smugly Draws Attention To It. The Mercenaries Know What That Means: The Slow Dance Is The Judging Portion Of The Event. All Mercenaries are expected to present their dates for inspection.
[VECTOR, spoken]
Here's one for all you lovers in the crowd.
Cheek to cheek and heart to heart.
DEUX
Gentlemen, I say we dance. Looks like about that time. Right, "Finny"?
INFINITE
Big and I'll be there in a minute. he's gotta finish his drink.
BIG
That's okay. It'll be here when I get—
INFINITE
And I got another one coming.
CARDINAL
They're starting the slow one. Let's hit it, Infinite.
INFINITE
harsh, firm
I said we'll be right there. Move it. You better learn to take a fuckin' command, Cardinal.
DEUX
a warning to Infinite
Hey. Let's have fun out there, Merc.
Cardinal shakes it off, throws himself into the dogfight.
CARDINAL
How about it, Miss Ecidna? You wanna show me how the Nocturnus shake it?
Shade gets up, stoically heads to the dance floor. She has yet to crack a smile.
I just hope she doesn't start a freakin' thunderstorm.
Deux And Cardinal Share A Laugh As They Take Their Places On The Dance Floor With Their Dates. Infinite And Big sit in fraught, loaded silence.
[VECTOR]
(sung)
You,
Born on a cloud
Angel so fair,
Angel so fine
BIG
tentative
Are you mad at me?
INFINITE
No. For chrissakes.
BIG
Well, you sure seem mad.
INFINITE
I'm happier than a two-peckered owl.
shouts, to unseen waiter
Where's my freakin' drink?
Big recoils, confused.
[VECTOR]
You,
Clear in a crowd,
Answer my prayer,
Say you'll be mine
Quatre Approaches, Arm In Arm With His Extremely Shy Date, Elise. They Are Both Trashed, Quatre so much so that he is surprisingly sweet with her, awkwardly affectionate.
QUATRE
Hey, Infinite. You gotta meet Elise.
INFINITE
drunk, cold
Yeah, yeah.
BIG
Hi, I'm Big.
QUATRE
We're gonna cut a rug, right babe?
ELISE
Anything you like.
QUATRE
Long as it makes you happy.
ELISE
I'm happy doing whatever you want.
QUATRE
I want you to have a good time.
ELISE
I'll have a good time dancing.
QUATRE
After you.
ELISE
After you.
QUATRE
After you.
They head to the dance floor together. Another silence as Infinite drinks, numbing himself.
[BIG, spoken]
We're the only ones not dancing.
[INFINITE, spoken]
Big, you're a nice guy. This is a messed up place.
[BIG, spoken]
Please, Finny.
[INFINITE, spoken]
You want a dance? You asked for it. Semper Fi, Do or Die.
Infinite gives up, leads her to the dance floor. They join the other couples in a slow dance.
[VECTOR]
I see you standing there,
I can only stare and sigh
When I see that face,
That unmistakable face,
Traffic halts,
Lovers waltz
That face,
That almost breakable face
Church bells chime,
There's no time, or space
When I see that face
During a break in the music, Big And Infinite dance and talk.
[BIG, spoken]
How come you say that "Do or Die, Semper Fi"—that stuff?
[INFINITE, spoken]
It's a kinda motto. We say it whenever we got something hard to do, I guess.
Big processes this, quickly reaching an unfortunate conclusion.
[BIG, spoken]
I'm hard to dance with?
[INFINITE, spoken]
What? Naw... you're great.
Feeling guilty, he suddenly pulls Big close into a real dance, more confident and sweeping as they go around the floor and the song comes back in full force.
[VECTOR]
If you looked at me
Like I looked at you,
Baby you would know
So plain to see
That my love is true,
Making me sing
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
Mercenaries Parade Their Dates For Vector, Who Is The Judge Of This Dogfight.
He Holds Up A Numbered Scorecard—1 Through 10—To Render His Judgment Of Each Merc's Date. Each Merc Takes His Turn Showing Off His Girl. It's Important, Of Course, That The Girls Not Realize This Is Happening. Cardinal Goes First, Showing Off Shade
[VECTOR]
You,
Goddess above,
Whisper the words
Poets will write
[CARDINAL]
It's about to get ugly
[VECTOR]
You
Fill me with love
Making the birds
Sing through the night
Whoa
Vector Holds Up A Scorecard With A Large 8 On It. This Is Shade' Score. Cardinal is pleased with the result.
Whoa... But when you're standing there,
I can only stare and sigh
Quatre Displays Elise For Vector To Judge. Unaware Eyes Are On Her, She Takes A Chance And Plants A Big, Sloppy Kiss On Quatre. He is surprised. And pleased.
When I see that face,
that unmistakable face,
[UNO]
What a buncha lookers
[DEUX/CARDINAL]
What a buncha lookers
[VECTOR]
Traffic halts,
Lovers waltz
[DEUX]
Got a dogfight in the ring
[CARDINAL]
Woof woof, baby!
Uno Shows Off His Date For Vector. She gets a 7.
[VECTOR]
That face,
That almost breakable face
[UNO]
Bigfoot alert
[CARDINAL]
Beast in a skirt
[VECTOR]
Church bells chime
there's no time or space
[DEUX/CARDINAL]
Oh my god!
[UNO]
Oh my god!
[DEUX/CARDINAL/UNO]
Look at 'em!
The Mercenaries Notice Quatre And Elise drunkenly kissing in a corner, wet and slobbery.
[VECTOR]
When I see that face,
[UNO]
You son of a dog, you roped a nasty one
[DEUX]
Here we go!
[CARDINAL]
You son of a gun
Infinite, Hiding His Growing Shame, Shows Off Big. Vector Gives Him A 6. Relieved, Infinite dances him out of the spotlight.
[UNO]
Jesus Christ!
[CARDINAL]
He's barely got 'im a six!
[VECTOR]
That face,
[CARDINAL]
Thunder thighs!
[UNO]
What a load!
Deux Takes His Turn, Shows Off Bunnie.
[DEUX]
We've got 'em beat
Vector Determines Bunnie Has Earned A 6. Deux And Bunnie are displeased with the result.
[VECTOR]
With a sweet embrace
When I see that-
Bunnie Makes Sure Vector gets a good look at her foul teeth. Disgusted and impressed, he changes his verdict. He holds up the scorecard marked 10.
Face!