Hi! Hope everyone is staying safe. Thanks to the lovely Donna for her eyes but as always I tinker and change afterwards so any mistakes are mine. I own nothing it's all Stephene Meyer's.

Chapter 8

An almighty bang followed by a thud woke me up and I almost knocked Bella to the floor as I jumped to my feet in confusion. I spun around to look towards the noise and then realized the cause—my idiot roommate.

"Man down," he slurred.

"What the fuck, Emmett?" I shook my head and then started to laugh at the state of my friend in a heap on the kitchen floor. "You scared the shit out of me."

The crash had obviously been Emmett falling through the apartment door and the thud had come when he'd continued falling to the floor, where he was still laying with no attempt being made to get up.

"Man needs help," he mumbled.

"Man tried to take on Woman at a drinking game. Man has a surprisingly weak tolerance and Woman had to drag him back here." I hadn't noticed Rose still standing in the doorway and she was smirking. "I've got him back; you can get him to bed because I'm going home. Tell him to call me tomorrow when he's recovered and warn him that I have plenty of evidence of just how bad he got. I can't wait to show him."

"I'm going to need to see that evidence," I said, still highly amused. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind you sticking around until he wakes up."

"As much fun as being in bed with someone who has thrown up on himself twice sounds, I think I'll pass on the sleepover." Rose's eyes landed on a very sleepy looking Bella who was also chuckling at Emmett. "Is this One More Than Most Girl?"

"Are you kidding me?" I said and put my hand over my face.

"I'm going to assume that name is a compliment," Bella said.

"I asked him if he was gay when I first spent the night here and he said he liked girls, one girl more than most—you, I'm guessing," Rose said to her with a grin. "It might be nice to have some other company over coffee when I stay over, Edward gets all defensive and nervous."

"Maybe because the first time we met you were standing half naked in the kitchen quizzing me about my sexuality," I huffed and glanced at Bella who was still smiling.

"You got two cups of good coffee out of it." Rose shrugged. "I'm definitely going home anyway; you'd just fuck her extra loud to get your revenge on me."

"Jesus," I mumbled and I heard Bella stifle a laugh. I felt blood and heat rush to my face and shook my head, mortified.

"Am I wrong?" she asked and I tried, but failed, to make any coherent word which made her smile.

"You have no idea just how right I hope you are," Bella said, moving close to my side and I felt her arm slide around my waist.

"And I get to go home alone because this one has the tolerance of a sixteen-year-old kid at their first keg party." She sighed. "See you guys later."

As Rose closed the door, I said to myself, "I think I'll just cover him up and leave him there."

"What? You can't do that," Bella argued.

"Rose just told us he's puked on himself for fucks sake, I don't want to touch him and I'm not undressing him." I grimaced.

"Well, you can't just leave him there, he's blocking the path to the fridge and I'm thirsty." She giggled and I laughed. "Seriously, get the poor man to bed. He's going to have enough shame to deal with tomorrow."

"Fine. Come on then, Em," I said begrudgingly, trying to heave the dead-weight of my sleeping friend from the floor. "Good God, you smell awful."

"Want a hand?" Bella asked and I shook my head. "Edward, he's the size of Shrek and he's passed out drunk, you can't do it alone. Unless you have a crane or something hanging about the apartment, I think you might need some help."

As I didn't in fact have a crane, I accepted Bella's help and together, somehow, we got Emmett to his feet and all but dragged him to his room.

"Are you taking off his shoes or anything?" she asked as we flopped him down onto the bed.

"He's on the bed and he's alive—I've given him a bucket, so he doesn't throw up on the floor. I'm done." I looked at Emmett and then at Bella who was smirking. "What I wouldn't give to mess with him right now."

"If only you had a girl in your apartment who happened to have some makeup in her purse," Bella said glumly and then winked cheekily at me. "Oh, hang on just a minute you do happen to have a girl in your apartment with some makeup in her purse."

"Would this girl be prepared to sacrifice some of her makeup to this wonderful cause?" I asked and she nodded vigorously before running out of the room to grab her purse.

"Little disclaimer here," she said when she returned, rummaging about trying to find the makeup. "I put it in here so long ago it might now be fossilized. I don't think I've actually used any of this stuff since I went to work for Alice."

"Then you can spend some time working on Emmett, sounds like you need the practice," I said and then looked at her in horror when I heard how it sounded. "Shit, Bella, I didn't mean—Christ that sounded like I was saying—"

"Note to self, wear make-up more often," she said and laughed, clearly not offended at all but I felt terrible.

"I didn't mean that," I said quickly. "You're perfect without it, Bella, seriously, you're beautiful—Jeez I'm either insulting or lame and cheesy."

"Lame, just lame, Man," Emmett slurred, he had one eye open trying to focus on us. "I'd have gone with goddamn sexy not beautiful and stay the hell away from me with whatever that shit is in your hand, Penis Girl."

"Ah this is a missed opportunity," Bella said. "Next time Shrek's girlfriend outdrinks him we have to be stealthier."

"Definitely," I agreed and then said to Emmett, "There's a bucket by your bed, Em."

"I don't need the bucket, I'm hardcore," Emmett was saying as we left his room, but that was immediately followed by the sound of him retching and I just laughed.

"Speaking of hardcore," Bella said to me shaking her head. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you. I was hoping I'd at least make it to the end of the film."

"I think that's my record," I said with a smirk. "Less than two hours in my company and the girl's snoring her head off. It's probably a good thing Tyler is out and Emmett came home smashed, I dread to think what jokes they'd have made at my expense."

"Did you finish it?" she asked and I nodded. "Are you a Hugh Grant fan?"

"I preferred the girl, can't say Hugh's my usual type." I looked at my watch, it was still only just past midnight. "I cannot wait to point out to Em that this was almost as poor a showing as my attempt the night I met you. At least I was intentionally trying to get shitfaced. Do you want a drink or something?"

"There's that or something again," she said quietly, a smirk tugging on her lips. "You're really going to get yourself into trouble with that, especially considering the conversation we just had with Emmett's girlfriend."

I laughed nervously, wishing I could come back with something quick and witty but it didn't happen so I said nothing which made me more nervous. My uncomfortableness just made Bella laugh and thankfully it broke the tension.

"I'd love a glass of water, please," she said and followed me to the kitchen.

I nodded and sighed in relief; I had no idea why she made me so nervous. I knew for a fact I was attracted to her. It was hard enough to not think of what could happen because if I did think about it then I knew what would definitely happen south of my waist. It's not like I'd never done it before, there was just something about Bella that had me in knots—in a good way but I didn't know how to handle it.

I poured her a glass and held it out, she smiled and took it from me.

"My mom is… an asshole," she said sadly and sighed. "I feel bad for saying it and it's a lot more complicated than that but basically I feel like I'm the parent and she's this really badly behaved delinquent kid that I'm responsible for."

"You don't have to tell me," I said softly and she nodded.

"I know I don't have to." She kept her eyes fixed on mine and the tension started creeping back up. "But I want to. I meant it when I said I like you, Edward, I really like you and I don't want to fuck this up. I just have a really bad habit of fucking things up with everyone."

"Then we make sure we don't fuck this up," I said firmly, emphasising the we, it was hard to keep my voice steady. Was it possible to like someone this much so fast?

"We make sure we don't fuck this up," she said, smiling. "So..."

"So..." I smiled back, my heart was pounding, my chest reverberating like it was a speaker on full bass.

"So, we should talk... or something," she said and put down her drink.

"You could get yourself into a lot of trouble with that or something," I said, taking a step towards her. Suddenly the nerves seemed to evaporate and left nothing but anticipation and an attraction to this girl like I'd never felt before.

"Yep, that's true." She too, took a step forward, there was only a few inches between us now. "But it's all your fault, Edward."

"Really?"

"Absolutely, you're too sexy and sweet for your own good. I never stood a chance." She ran her fingers up my arms, over the top of my shirt and then across my shoulders and back down my chest. "I said the night we met that you were hot and if you'd been sober then we'd have hooked up."

"I remember that conversation went a little different from my perspective," I reminded her and she chuckled.

"You were drunk and vulnerable, you focussed on the wrong things." Her fingers continued to circle up my arms and down my chest, the hairs on my arms stood on end in response to the contact. "I thought I liked you that night, but I had no idea."

Shit, this is happening.

I forced everything else out of my head except how much I wanted to kiss her and just did it. She moved her hands to the back of my neck and knotted her fingertips into my hair. The more I got from her the more I wanted, it was like she was consuming me and I loved it. The most unfathomable thing was, she seemed to feel it too and that blew my mind.

Speaking of blowing... you're at risk of blowing your load if you don't calm down.

I shoved that thought out of my head quickly before the doubt started to creep in. Bella's hands freed themselves from my hair and she brought them to the front of my shirt, her fingers grazing my stomach just above the waistband of my pants. She grabbed the hem of the shirt and wriggled it up, I lifted my arms and then chuckled when I realised she wasn't tall enough to get it all the way off.

"Damnit," she muttered against my lips.

"Short ass," I laughed and pulled the shirt over my head.

I kissed her again, her hands gently exploring my back leaving hot trails on my skin as they travelled up and down. I didn't want to stay out here in the kitchen, so trying not to break the kiss I started walking us towards my bedroom. I didn't pull it off as gracefully as you saw it happen in the movies, I banged into the door frame, stumbled over a pair of shoes and then fell backwards pulling Bella down on top of me.

"So that wasn't as hot as I'd hoped," I grumbled but Bella just laughed.

"You underestimate yourself." She said and stood up, holding out her hands and helping pull me up, kissing me as soon as I was on my feet.

I started to unbutton her shirt, pushing it off her shoulders and dropped my head to kiss her neck and down her collar, my hands shaking just slightly as I slid the strap of her bra down. As I was about to do the same on the other side, another loud bang startled us both.

"What was that?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I don't know." I sighed and looked through the still open bedroom door towards the kitchen. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. What the hell is going on with these guys tonight."

"What?" Bella asked.

"Tyler clearly played the same game with his date and lost." I kissed her forehead and said, "Just wait here, I won't be long."

I closed the bedroom door behind me and ran over to Tyler who was standing over the trash can throwing up.

"Worst roommates ever," I told him. "First I have to put Em to bed and now I have you to deal with. What did you drink, Ty? You look like shit."

"I'm not drunk," he groaned. "I fucking wish I was. I started to feel off on the way back to... to... um my... on my... um... way back and I almost puked in the cab."

"Something you ate or stomach flu?" I asked but before he could answer, he started throwing up again and my stomach heaved.

Don't puke, don't puke. I chanted to myself.

"Ugh," he mumbled and he stood up, bracing himself on the wall.

"Need anything?" I asked.

"No, I'm good, Ed, thanks. I'll clean this up and then I just want to get to bed."

"You sure?" I asked and he nodded as he stood upright.

"Yeah," he said and then smiled. "Get back to whatever you were doing in your room. Tell Penis Girl I'm sorry for interrupting you."

"You didn't... we aren't... Bella isn't..."

"So, that's not your shirt on the floor?" he asked and laughed a little when he saw my expression.

"Just give me a shout if you need..." I started to say but he waved me away and dipped his head over the trash can again. I looked away and croaked, "I'll be in there if you do need me, Tyler, but please don't! My stomach can't handle much more puke."

I walked to my room, eager to get back to Bella and hoping the moment hadn't passed. When I opened the door I half-laughed and half-cried when I saw Bella on my bed, curled up and fast asleep. I stood and watched her for a few minutes and then lay down close beside her, pulling up the bed covers as I did.

As I lay there, I let my mind drift to what might have happened with Bella and what was hopefully going to happen at some point. I imagined her waking up and rolling over; her eyes staring into mine, silently telling me that she wanted it to happen now. I imagined trying to kiss her but instead she smiled, shaking her head playfully. I watched as she climbed on top of me, sitting right where the evidence of what she did to me was currently trying to burst through my shorts, moaning slightly as she realised just how much I wanted her. It was only after a few seconds that I realised I wasn't imagining this and Bella had in fact woken up and was actually sitting on my lap in nothing but her underwear.

Oh fuck.

She ran one hand through my hair, tugging gently as she twirled her fingers around, then she leaned forward and placed a kiss on my jaw and then my neck. I let out a shaky breath as she set off on a journey south, her lips setting my skin alight as they travelled down my chest and stomach before stopping when she came to my shorts. I held my breath as she dipped her fingers slightly into the waistband, waiting for her to push them down but instead she laughed once.

"Bella," I groaned. "Jesus."

"I warned you a few times, Edward," she said, her voice husky. "I said or something was dangerous. This is one of the first things I imagined when you first said it and when we were in the kitchen, I specifically remember the words or something being spoken."

"You said it in the kitchen too," I croaked.

"So?" she teased and dragged her nails down the tops of my thighs and then going back up, this time underneath my shorts. "Shall I stop with my version of or something?"

I shook my head once and she smirked smugly. She was enjoying tormenting me and I was loving it.

Everything she did was slow and deliberate and I started to get worried that doing a Jim from American Pie was a distinct possibility. Her hands were still up either leg of my shorts, her fingernails digging into my skin just hard enough for it to feel good without hurting. Just as she reached the holy grail they slid back down again and I whimpered like some virginal teenager desperate for his first sexual experience.

What was she doing to me?

"I'm never saying or something again," I said and she laughed. "You might actually kill me."

"Hope not," she said and ran her hands back up my legs, on top of the shorts this time. "I'm not done yet."

I was about to point out that the incessant teasing was likely to result in a massively embarrassing situation for me, when she hooked her fingers into my waistband again and started to inch them down.

Her eyes left mine and she looked down, watching my dick burst out of my shorts as soon as she had them low enough. If I was having a hard time keeping control before, I almost exploded when she dropped her head close enough that I could feel her warm breath, then her tongue and then her mouth all around me.

"Fuck," I gasped. "Bella, I... shit."

She was maintaining the slow and deliberate approach, I was grateful. It made it infinitesimally easier to keep some kind of self-control like this. I was at the point of no return and I did want to feel Bella in different ways before it was too late, but fuck this was incredible and I also wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could. I made a half-hearted attempt to sit up but she pressed her palms down on my stomach, pushing me back down.

"I can't... I'm not going to last much longer... I... we..." My breath was ragged, every muscle in my body was clenched in a desperate attempt to hold on. I placed my hands on her head and she picked up the pace slightly, humming as she did and that was it.

I again made a pitiful attempt to move as I came but she refused to budge and I let out a strangled growl, my fingertips digging into her head.

Never, and I did mean never had I felt anything as intensely as that. I was breathing hard like I'd been on a run and I was trembling all over.

"I fucking love or something," I murmured and Bella knelt up laughing. "You have no idea how hard that was."

"I think I had a pretty good idea." She winked.

"I meant that I almost blew it before you even took my shorts off," I told her and then instantly felt embarrassed. "Fucks sake, why would I tell you that? Why would I intentionally admit that?"

"You've just told a girl that her mere touch almost caused you to come, why the hell would that be a bad thing? Trust me, Edward, that is the polar opposite of a bad thing. It's a fantastic thing, you have no idea." She straddled me again, smirking. "If I was a guy, you'd have the same effect on me. I'd have probably been walking around with a boner ever since we met."

"Nice," I chuckled. "But if you were a guy then I doubt we'd have just done that."

"I'd be a hot guy," Bella scoffed. "You'd still want me, don't even try and deny it."

"One little problem," I said, my eyes dropping to her chest. "I like boobs much more than balls."

"And I like balls more than boobs," she said happily. "One pair of balls more than most."

"Glad to hear that." I smiled at her nod to what Rose had said to her in the kitchen. "You have seen more of my balls than I have your boobs though—doesn't seem fair."

"Make it up to me tomorrow... well today actually. Can we hang out?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure," I answered quickly. "Maybe not here though. Good chance Tyler's going to be throwing up all day and Emmett with a hangover isn't a pretty sight."

"Let's go then," she said and started to move.

"Go? Now?" I looked at my watch. "It's three in the morning?"

"Sexy, sweet and he can tell time. You're just the full package aren't you." She giggled. "What's wrong with now?"

"It's three in the morning," I said again. "I think that's what's wrong with now."

"We're both awake so the time is irrelevant'." She shrugged. "I don't feel like going back to sleep. I like how I feel when I'm in your company, it's easy to forget the shit with my mother and I still want to explain it to you. How about we find an all-night diner and have some coffee while I tell you? After I've done that we can even things out on the ball and boob front."

"Or we could do that now?" I suggested and she laughed.

"For the first time ever I'm feeling like I want to wait," she admitted and I looked at her doubtfully. "I know that sounds bizarre given the fact I've just had my mouth on your dick."

"Okay," I said slowly remembering how good that had been and I felt the familiar stirrings in my stomach and groin. "Yeah, you might need to explain that a little more."

She was standing at the side of the bed now still in just her underwear and instead of stirring it was now becoming an uprising.

"It's like the night before Christmas or waiting to go to the airport before a vacation," she said, and put one knee on the bed, leaning forward; her face inches away from mine. "That anticipation of something you know is going to be amazing. To want something so much you can't sleep or think straight."

"Mm-hm," I breathed.

"Then before you know it, you're at the airport about to take off or ripping open your presents on Christmas morning and it's as incredible as you knew it would be." She kissed me once. "But..."

"No buts," I murmured, kissing her this time. "I like this explanation better without the but."

"But," she continued between kisses. "Then in a flash you're at the airport again, waiting to come home or you're going to bed on Christmas Day. Let's make Christmas Eve last a little longer?"

"Okay." I nodded. She'd managed to tell me why she didn't want sex in the sexiest way possible. "Like for another ten minutes?"

"Come on, you need to get dressed or I won't hold out two minutes," she said as she stood and held out her hands. "Coffee first, sex later."

MPA

Half an hour later, sitting in a booth at an all-night place I'd never even noticed before I drank coffee and listened intently as Bella explained to me all about her mother.

Renee Swan found herself heavily pregnant and getting married on her nineteenth birthday to rookie cop, Charlie. The young family lived in a place called Forks, Charlie adored his wife and daughter and was blissfully but totally unaware of just how unhappy Renee was. Bella's mother didn't take to life at home and the first hint of the problems they would face came when Bella was just six months old.

"She arranged to go out with a few of the girls she hung around with in high-school." Bella smiled sadly. "Dad was working a night shift, so instead of telling her to cancel he asked his parents to come over and look after me until my mom got back. When he came home the next morning, they were still there and Mom was nowhere."

"Was she okay?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, but it was three days later before she came back. One of her friends met this guy in a bar and they just decided to go to Vegas for some fun. That was the first time it happened, obviously I didn't know anything about it and Dad never told me until a few years back, even after all she put him through, he never said a bad word about her in front of me. He put it down to her being young and stuck at home so he figured if she had the chance to let off some steam, she'd be fine."

"I'm guessing if that was the first time it happened, his theory didn't pan out?" I refilled her coffee.

"She'd take off for days sometimes weeks at a time," she said and I grimaced. "Turn up again full of apologies and remorse and he was desperate to keep us together as a family so he just let her back in. After that she'd be the perfect wife and mother for a while and then she'd disappear again."

Bella told me that this had continued for about six years, the final straw for Charlie had been the time she left Bella waiting at school one afternoon and not returning for a week.

"They got a divorce and he got full custody. At first, he only let her see me when she came to the house—I never went anywhere alone with her. He didn't trust her and who could blame him." She picked at a peeling piece of vinyl on the table. "But I missed her, because he'd never told me anything bad and always made excuses for why she'd disappeared, I never understood. So, to me, she was still this wonderful mother who I adored. She was so beautiful and we'd always had so much fun together—she wasn't a regular mom. Now I see why of course, but as a kid I idolised her and couldn't see how fucked up she was. I just wanted to spend some real time with her so I begged him to let me stay with her for a weekend. I was about nine at this point and he didn't want me to resent him for keeping me away from her so he agreed." She paused and glanced at me, nervously. "Is this too much explaining?"

"Not at all," I reassured her, holding her hands across the table. "I just don't want you to think that you have to tell me because of the other night."

"That's sort of why I do have to explain," she said. "All of this explains all of that. If I just told you what happened on Thursday then you wouldn't really get it, you know? It would just be a weird mother-daughter thing."

"Then keep going," I said.

"She picked me up from school on the Friday and I was going to stay with her all weekend until I went to school Monday morning. I was so happy when I saw her there at the gates." Bella smiled. "We watched movies and gave each other manicures all night. The next day I remember waking up to this strange guy in her apartment. He was in the kitchen with my mom and even though it was early they were both drinking already and when I saw the salt on one of the counters, I thought they'd eaten breakfast without me. I was annoyed. Well, you've witnessed how much I love food, that isn't a recent thing."

I had to chuckle when she rolled her eyes. "Obviously, I now know it wasn't salt they had for breakfast. Mom came over and I remember saying to her that her eyes were weird which just made her laugh. She told the guy she wanted to show me why."

"Wait, what?" I spluttered. "She let you see her do coke?"

"Yup," Bella said casually. "They did a few more lines in front of me and said we were going to have a party."

"That is just so wrong." I was stunned, horrified and staring at her in disbelief.

"They had music on so loud all day, the neighbours were constantly banging on the door complaining but neither of them cared. They were either dancing or in the bedroom doing other stuff so I'd just turn it down. When they realised, they just went and turned it up again and carried on doing whatever they were doing. It was only when someone threatened to call the cops that they finally turned it off." She sighed. "I told Mom I was hungry so she said they'd go and get me a pizza. They left me in the apartment promising not to be long, so I waited but she never came back."

"How long?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.

"The school called my dad when I wasn't in class on Monday morning, so he came to the apartment and found me still on my own."

I looked at her in disbelief. "You were alone until Monday morning? What did you do? What about food? I can't believe a mother would... how could she do that? What happened?"

"Dad freaked—big time freaked—obviously. He reported her and hired an attorney to have all her visitation rights revoked. I can't remember exactly how long it took, months? I don't know but she never once even tried to get in touch and didn't bother to show up for the hearing." Bella smiled at me. "I've never told it like this before; like from start to finish I mean. I just released snippets to Alice, bits here and there. When I hear it back it sounds insane, too crazy to be true."

"Horrendous, not crazy," I said, shaking my head. "I can't get my head around it."

"That's as bad as it got," she said, holding my hand and giving it a squeeze. "She wasn't around for the next few years. I was fine without her, of course I missed her, but Dad made a brilliant mom and dad. We were a great little team. I didn't see or hear from her at all until my twelfth birthday and she sent me a letter asking to see me. Dad didn't want me to get hurt again, but Dad being Dad just said it was my decision. I wanted to, part of me still remembered all the fun we used to have, but I also remembered that the last time she'd seen me she was high on coke and whatever else and about to take off with her boyfriend. As it turned out, she was living with her parents so Dad suggested we visit her there and could leave whenever I wanted to. I remember the first time I saw her like it was yesterday. She looked different, her eyes were flat; the life and sparkle had gone. I sat with her, talking about my friends and school but she was like a ghost, none of the old Renee at all. Dad talked with her parents and found out she'd turned up on their doorstep about ten months earlier, absolutely out of it and devastated over the breakup with a guy who she said was her soulmate. They got her some help, she was in a clinic for six months being treated for alcohol and drug dependency, depression and self-harm. They said since she'd been out and, on the medication, she was like a different person and you know what, they were right. It wasn't my mother, not at all. Even Dad looked devastated when he saw what she'd become. She promised to keep in touch and asked if we could meet up again once she had her own place."

"How long did it last?" I asked and she frowned slightly. "If she was still clean and sober then you wouldn't need to be telling me this now."

"She had two great years, I thought she'd beaten her demons. She met Phil and got married-far too quickly but not my business, I was just happy she was okay. Dad liked Phil; he was good for her. He was good with me too, so Dad would let me visit them as long as Phil was around. After two or three times visiting, she looked so alive again and I naively thought it was just her getting better but I found out later she'd stopped taking her meds. They used to spend a lot of time with another married couple and because they got on so well, she convinced herself that her and the other woman's husband had this magical connection. She told me he was her soulmate, the one she had to be with and sex with him was like an out of body experience." She saw my expression and chuckled. "Her words. She left Phil and Eleazar left his wife about three months after they started sleeping together. Their magical once in a lifetime connection lasted about six months until he realised the Renee that he thought he'd run away with didn't actually exist and he went back to his wife. She begged Phil to take her back but he knew her history and there was no second chance like Charlie gave her so off she went again on a drinking and partying binge. That's basically how it's been ever since then. She's been in a constant cycle of on her meds and sober and getting on with her life to then meeting someone who she decides is without a shadow of a doubt the love of her life and she's gone for a while. That's what happened on Thursday, she showed up at work drunk and devastated because her and the guy of the moment had broken up. I took her home, put her to bed to sleep it off but when she saw me getting ready to leave, she started threatening to hurt herself. There's been more dramas than I can remember, I won't try to tell you them all I just wanted you to know about her."

"Does she see a therapist?" I asked and Bella nodded

"Sure, she just stops going as soon as she feels okay. Convinces herself she can manage this time."

"Where is she now?" I asked her.

"Her ex must have showed up while I was at work yesterday because she sent me a text to say they were back together and she was going to Atlantic City with him for the weekend." She shrugged. "If he wins big, she might stick with him for a while, if not she'll probably be back in a week or two."

"Fucking hell, Bella," I said in disbelief. "How are you not totally fucked up by all of this?"

"Like I said, Dad was great," she said happily. "And it's not her fault, she's got so many issues. I've just got to help her when she needs it."

I nodded, still in shock and not knowing what else to say. My childhood had been worlds apart from hers, I tried to imagine experiencing some of the things she had and it blew my mind. Picturing my mother doing lines of coke in the kitchen, fuck it was almost laughable. A question came to my mind and I almost started to ask but then stopped myself. Not the time for your insecure bullshit, Jackass.

"What?" she asked, catching it and I shook my head.

"Nothing," I said innocently and she pursed her lips, scowling at me. "Seriously, it's nothing."

"What were you going to say?" she asked again.

"Just my mind overthinking shit like it always does, it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," she said softly and I sighed. "Please tell me."

"I was just wondering if, well, given what you saw growing up, has that made you... I mean is that why you're... well if you're looking for someone who... I'm not like..."

"You're absolutely nothing like my mother," she finished for me. "And thank fuck for that, but the fact I'm highly unlikely to catch you snorting coke in my kitchen has nothing to do with why I'm sitting here, Edward."

"Okay," I said, smiling "But it was still selfish of me to even think about asking you a question like that after you've just told me what you've told me. I'm sorry."

"Well don't be." She leaned back against the hardback cushion and stared at me.

"What?" I asked and she laughed.

"Just remembering what you were like the night we met. You were so cute," she told me. "Let's go out tonight and have too much to drink, dance like idiots and laugh like you know we will."

"That all sounds great, except for the dancing and the drinking too much. No one wants to see me dance and I remember how I felt the morning after I met you far too much." I grimaced. "And I also remember last night and the horror of helping put Emmett to bed. Not sure I'm ready for you to witness that level of humiliation yet."

"So, we just drink a little too much and that way you still get to know my boobs like I got to know your balls." She winked and then laughed at my dumbfounded expression, thinking of nothing but Bella's boobs.

Thanks for reading and just another thanks for the reviews you're leaving me. I love reading them all and I'm sorry for not getting around to replying to you all.

I'll try and crack on with the next chapter but just can't put a time on it, thanks for your patience!

xxx