A/N: The premise of this whole story is as close to a crackfic as I'll ever get, but this chapter is particularly inspired. Caffeine is as much to blame for the absurdity below as the prompt itself ::jitters away::.

Chapter Four: Crack

"Sesshoumaru and Inu-Brasha claw their way to the entrance, vying to be first into Pernith's House of Healing. Shouldering against each other, their armor and weapons snag, entangling, and they become stuck in the doorframe.

"Ge'roff me, ya short jerk!" Shippou cried, copying Inu-Yasha's speech patterns. "I already told Kagome I'd lead the way in case it's dangerous!"

Sesshoumaru released an ominous growl. "I appear the same as I do in this world," he said, his tone darkening dangerously. "You are the one lacking height and breadth, whelp," he glanced at Kagome from beneath silver bangs. "I would like to force Inu-Brasha back with a shove."

"Sounds fair," Kagome's gaze glittered with amusement as she passed him the die he already held his hand out for.

Sesshoumaru rocked it in his palm, swirling it slowly, purposefully prolonging the moment while Shippou watched anxiously. When the kit's anticipation peaked to writhing fidgets, he tossed it in front of the young demon. The pink pebble tumbled to a stop on a '20', and a corner of the daiyoukai's mouth curled up in vindication.

"That is a critical success, yes? The highest number one can achieve?" The start of his smile grew wicked.

Shippou paled. "N-Now just remember! I was only talking like that for the game, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"Stammered Inu-Brasha in terror," Sesshoumaru stole Kagome's role, narrating the kitsune's break of character.

Kagome edged so far forward she came up off her rock. "Describe your shove Sesshoumaru," she said, delight and approval dancing across her face. He had upheld their pact more than just to spare dice, allowing Shippou and Rin nearly-free rein as they'd slowly meandered through the city. This was a well-earned event.

"I seize him by the scruff of his unruly hair," Sesshoumaru started, warming to his revenge. "Give a cold stare that floods his cowardly insides with dread, wrench him free of my armor, and send him sprawling down a side street used for discarded debris and refuse."

From his seat, Sesshoumaru reached over Rin, stretching his arm out for the kitsune. A striped wrist dangled above the boy's bowed, russet ponytail, before pretending to grab it and hurl it backwards, fingers still suspended in mid-air.

Shippou responded beautifully, falling to his back and loosing a wail that started loud and grew quiet, as if he'd been launched a great distance away. "Stillllll a jerrrrrrk!" He called, giving a soft 'oof' as he 'landed'.

Kagome laughed, plunking down on her boulder. "Bravo Shippou-chan!"

Sesshoumaru glanced to his ward, quirking a brow. "Do you hear that strange voice, Kagome?" He tilted his head in mock confusion. "Who is this 'Shippou-chan' it mentions? Why does it warble overhead as if watching from another plane?"

Rin bobbed her own head. "I do hear it, my lord. There must be a lurking bystander nearby."

"We should make haste into this hall to avoid further attention," Sesshoumaru offered out his elbow. "Take my arm, my lady, so we may enter as a unified front."

Rin peeked at Shippou still lying in the grass, stifling a giggle. "I think that illusion's already been ruined."

"Nonsense," his sleeve waved in front of her face. "Inu-Brasha will come along shortly, reeking of the garbage he regularly spouts from his mouth."

The two humans and kitsune laughed and applauded, Kagome clapping loudest of all. She met his eye, and her grin outshone the bright afternoon around them.

"You are shockingly good at this Sesshoumaru-sama," she praised softly.

Her esteem made something odd flop in his chest, and he couldn't rouse another jibe at her narrative lapse this time.

Prompt: Crack (Day 4)

Date: Originally posted 7/23/20 on Dokuga

Words: 600