A/N: This is a far departure from what Nick's dad is normally written to be, so be warned. Also, this fic deals with implied abuse and neglect, so if that is a trigger for you, you've been warned. I promise I'll write something happy next time. I do not own Zootopia or its characters.
His first thought is oh shit.
His second is so rage filled he doesn't even think words can form around the suddenly pulsating migraine that developed as soon as his paw touched the floor.
The voice drifting from Ben's desk belonged to someone he liked to pretend was dead and gone but was really alive and happily hustling his way through Happytown in that awful green corduroy vest he probably hadn't washed in ten years.
Judy had stopped talking about whatever it was they had been discussing upon seeing his angered face and clenched teeth. He could vaguely hear her say his name over the blood rushing through his ears, laced with concern. Her paw was on his forearm, somehow preventing the red on encroaching the edge of his vision from completely taking over.
He glanced down at her, seeing her eyes had tracked over to where he was glaring a whole in a male red fox's back. She furrowed her brow, mind working overtime to try and come up with a possible excuse as to why seeing another male fox had thrown her partner into such a state. Nick licked his lips and suddenly began to panic. He didn't need Judy walking into this, possibly seeing what would go down between him and his old man if they were spotted. He didn't want to deal with the constant questions and her need to fix the broken things in his life.
She had helped with so much and so many different things, but this was not one of those things that could be fixed. This was one of those things that needed to die, and he didn't think he could handle his favorite little bunny trying to help with this. It wasn't worth it.
"-rything ok?"
"Yeah!" He said it far too enthusiastically for it to be real and then turned her towards the hall that lead to their cubicles, where they were heading before he stopped them dead in their tracks. He felt the overwhelming urge to run, ears pointed straight up and his tail curling up behind his back. "I just really have to pee!"
Judy dragged her feet a little, disturbed by his terrible attempt to divert her away from the front desk where Wolford, Delgato, and Fangmeyer had the other fox backed up against Ben's desk. They were all laughing, obviously charmed by Nick Wilde Sr. Nick tried to bite back the sense of betrayal he felt. The officers he had become fast friends didn't know what a piece of shit the other Wilde was. They didn't know because Nick hadn't told him, and he had no doubt that if he did tell them, they wouldn't spending the time of day on him.
"Nick- "
"Judy, I'd love to talk but I really gotta pee and we have less than an hour to close up shop. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be late for the premiere of Pawmazing Race."
"You hate that show," she shot him, glaring at him as he fox handled her. She wrenched her arm free and fixed her sleeve, willing to leave the fact that he was escaping from something that could potentially cut open an old emotional scar. He was fool for hoping she would drop it all together, but he knew better. This would come back around to bite him in the ass, as soon as they left the precinct. But, on the bright side, they would get out without being-
"Nicky!"
-sighted.
Judy stopped walking at the sound of the gruff voice, and he took two more slow steps before he stopped as well, the door to his freedom just an arm length away. His paw itched to grab it and pretend he didn't hear it, but Judy was tugging on the back of his shirt, getting him to turn at the fox loudly proclaiming, "There's my little guy! Hey, it's me, your old man!"
Fuck.
"Is that your dad?"
Nick sighed and turned around, trying to keep his face neutral as he finally locked eyes with the jovial elder fox across the lobby. Nick fisted his paws, noticed immediately by Judy, who had finally let go of his shirt. Her nose twitched and he could see out of the corner of his eye, her questioning stare.
He paused for a long moment before he began stalking over to him, muttering a 'yeah' under his breath as he passed by Judy. He could hear her scurry to follow him, trailing a small distance behind so as not to crowd him.
"Wilde, why didn't you tell us your old man was a comedian?"
"Yeah, can we trade him for you?"
Nick didn't crack a smile, coming to stop as he stared down the older fox. He could see Wolford's teasing smile fall, obviously not used to him not countering a joke directed at his expense. He was always quick to fire back, like his brain was a computer made for smart ass comebacks.
"Aw, don't tease the kid. It's not his fault he's not quick on the uptake. He got that from his mom," Senior laughed, clapping Nick on the shoulder. Nick tensed, sudden memories from his childhood resurfacing with a vengeance that made his head spin. He could feel Judy's hand on his back, discreetly pressing just above his tail. She sensed how fast his posture changed from not at all relaxed to don't you fucking touch me in under a second.
"What are you doing here," he said lowly, demandingly. He wasn't handcuffed and he was far too friendly with the other officers to be here against his own will. He hadn't been picked up, which meant he willingly walked in here looking for him.
"Just came by to visit my kid who's a cop now. Had to see it with my own two eyes! Never would have thought you would amount to something but, hey, I'm wrong from time to time. Looks like your mom didn't screw you up after all," he joked, patting the side of his face. Nick mentally congratulated himself for stopping the vicious growl building up in his throat. Behind Senior, the four officers had stopped smiling, sensing the change in his demeanor. Now, they were looking as if they were afraid they were going to have to restrain their fellow officer from beating the shit out of his father.
"And you're the bunny I saw all over the news! Somethin' Hopps? Janice?"
"Judy," she corrected, removing her paw from his back and holding it out politely for the older fox. Senior took it and held it up to his lips, kissing it, followed by a wink that could only be described as predatory and not at all charming.
Nick's paw shot out and grabbed his father's wrist in a vice grip. His hand let go of Judy's paw and tugged on it harshly, dragging the fox away from the group with barely contained violence. He stopped by one of the window seats, far enough away that if they spoke in low tones, the officers gathered around the desk might not be able to hear them. They could take this outside, but Nick knew he wouldn't even try to control the volume of his voice out in open air. At least in here, he could rationally maintain some sort of professionalism.
And keep his job.
"Damn, Nicky, are you trying to break my wrist?"
"What are you doing here," Nick growled, letting go the other fox's wrist like it burned. Senior sighed, paws held out.
"No hug for your old man? I know it's been a while since we've seen each other- "
"It's been ten years and three months. Ten years and three months of bliss without you here messing with every good thing I have going for me. Now I'm going to ask again, and I want a fucking answer. What are you doing here?"
He hissed venomously, teeth bared and paws shaking. His posture was aggressive, the fur on his tail standing on end. He could just make out the hulking form of Bogo coming to a stop near the desk, interrupting the viewing party they were having. His ear twitched in their direction, hearing his name in a short-clipped tone being thrown at Carrots.
Senior chuckled, finding something in this whole situation amusing before he continued, "You mean the ten years ago when you had to borrow a grand from me to get those loan sharks off your ass? Or was it to keep your mom from losing the house? Or how about when I had to bribe those two officers to keep them from booking you with a possession charge? Are those the ten years you were referring to?"
"So, you came here to collect then? Is that it?"
"No, I came here to see you and how you were doing, but it seems like you need a little reminder to be grateful for all I've done for you."
Nick laughed without amusement, feeling his blood boil beneath his skin. He didn't need the reminder that his father had bailed him out of more than enough jams in his life, especially standing in the middle of Precinct One with the Chief of Police staring holes into the side of his head from feet away.
"I don't need to be grateful for a damn thing," he shot back, "and I know you didn't come all the way down here to pretend to be a father for ten minutes and pat me on the back for becoming a cop, so what do you want?"
The look of amusement was wiped from the older fox's face and was replaced by a serious, no nonsense look he'd been on the receiving end of a few times in his life. It was always followed by a good old backhand and bloody lip. He kind of wished his father would try that now, just so he had an excuse to lay him out on the ground, the geezer knew when to pick his fights when he wasn't acting on impulse.
"I came here to offer you a little deal. One that could benefit both of us."
"A deal? I don't make deals anymore, ya know, since I'm a fucking cop now and all?" He pointed to his badge like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Now hold on, son," Senior tried to placate, glancing at the group of officers that tried and failed to pretend that they weren't watching them. Senior nodded and smiled at Bogo, who just continued to bore holes into them, "Hear me out. You know the business has been booming lately, especially after all that mess that very shapely little bunny over there caused (don't hit him Nick, don't do it), but some of the businesses down in Happytown don't wanna budge. No matter what kind of muscles I bring in…they just don't seem to be intimidated by them in the least and they don't understand that what I'm offering them would boost their sales and keep them protected all in one big package."
Nick shook his head, knowing where this was going. He refused before the words even came out of Senior's mouth.
"I figured maybe some uniforms down there could convince them otherwise. These are good, law abiding citizens, but if the 5-0 comes down there and maybe…messes with them a little? Might change their minds."
Nick smirked, "You want me to go down there and rough up some of the shop owners so you can extort them for half of their profits? You've lost your mind."
"Hey, now, we don't use the word extort around here. We offer services to ensure that our friendly neighborhood shops are being protected from all those gangs running rampant around town. Gangs the police can't seem to get a handle on."
"It's illegal."
"It's a business. And you'd get something out of it to…," Senior trailed, a hope in his eyes Nick would gladly crush.
"I don't care to know what you could possibly think I want. The answer is no. Now please, I have work to go do and a life to keep living without you. Goodbye."
Nick turned on his heel, now facing his fellow officers, but he was yanked roughly back by Senior, who's good old impulsive anger had kicked in and acted without thought. Nick was shocked by the sudden movement and his vision swam a little as one paw wrapped around his muzzle and forced him to look at his father in the eye.
"Listen you little piece of shit," Senior spat, green eyes ablaze with a fire Nick hadn't seen since he was a kid, backed into a corner of the room with the threat of a leather belt dangling between them. Before Senior could continue, Bogo's booming voice and stomping hooves broke the thick tension between them and forced their attention on him.
Senior, realizing he'd stepped too far by the looks of the officers behind Bogo on high alert, ready to pounce on him, let go of Nick, his easy smile returning like he hadn't just manhandled an officer, let alone his own son.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Sorry about that," Senior chuckled, rubbing the back of his head, "So embarrassing, but you know how things are I'm sure? Kids run their mouths and you just want to snatch 'em up. Old habits die hard."
Nick, who'd grown quiet, fixed his uniform and refused to meet anyone's eyes. Bogo watched him intently, a sense of unease settling over everyone who'd witnessed what had just happened.
"Actually, I don't know," Bogo snarled, stepping up to Senior and towering over the fox. Nick glanced over, feeling a satisfaction beyond compare at his father's slightly terrified expression, "and I suggest, Mr. Wilde, that you turn around and walk out of this building before I have you brought up on charges for assaulting an officer. And make sure you never step foot onto ZPD property every again, or you will personally have to answer to me."
Senior nodded and glanced at Nick before quickly leaving, holding his head high but his tail falling between his legs. Bogo sighed and turned his angry glare on Nick, nodding towards the stairs in a silent order to follow him. Nick nodded slightly, letting the buffalo lead him and falling into step behind him.
"Nick," Judy started, grabbing his paw. He squeezed it, his thumb pad running over her knuckles.
"I'm ok, Carrots."
She didn't look convinced and he didn't feel it either.
It was quiet for a good two minutes as Bogo settled into his desk and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his large chest. Nick, for his part, looked the Chief in the eye, knowing he hated nothing more than cowardly refusing to meet his eyes. That's all he demanded in the form of respect from his officers, and Nick wasn't about to refuse him, especially after what he just did.
It took another minute before Bogo finally broke the silence.
"My father was abusive. He used to beat on my mother before I became old enough to realize that's not how you say good morning to your family."
Nick felt his stomach drop. He had a shrivel of hope that Bogo would reprimand him for egging on the fox instead of walking away and not causing a scene, but they were dashed with the friendly reminder that other fathers were assholes, too. Just like his.
"I'll spare the details and save you the spiel about forgiveness and being the bigger mammal, because sometimes, those rules don't apply. What I will say is…I understand. I know what it's like to grow up with someone like your father and how hard it is to tell yourself you hate him when all you've ever wanted was his love."
And just like that, the Chief had uncovered one of his long-forgotten scars and spliced it open to bleed again. Tears started gathering in his eyes, feeling his mask slip and fall and shatter on the ground on the floor of his boss' office. Bogo turned in his chair, staring at the wall ahead of him in a show of privacy without leaving the room. Nick sniffled and fought tooth and nail to prevent the tears from falling. It took a solid five minutes of silence for him to reign it in, feeling exhausted from all the emotional bullshit from ten minutes ago landing on his shoulders.
"It's six," Bogo said softly, "Head out."
"Ah," Nick cleared his throat, "We have a report to write up from an arrest earlier."
"Save it. Have it in first thing in the morning and I'll disregard the deadline. Go home and take Hopps with you."
It took five whole minutes of convincing Judy that yes, Bogo gave them an extended deadline on their report, and yes, he told him to take her with him. He knew Bogo was sure to mention that fact so Judy wouldn't hound him after Nick left for what on Earth they spoke about it in the office.
He had to give Carrots credit, though. She had managed to talk amicably about the weather and what to eat for dinner on the way back to his apartment without bringing up the massive questions dangling in her mind. Nick watched her out of the corner of his eye grasping for things to talk about, finding it amusing that she was trying to give him some semblance of privacy.
When they did finally make it back to the apartment, they set their food containers down and plopped on his couch in their uniforms. Nick sighed into the quiet air of his living room, eyes landing on an old picture frame hanging on the wall above the television. His mom's bright smile brought him a sense of comfort he only ever felt when Judy was around anymore.
He could feel said bunny staring at him, fingers fidgeting with the straps of her foot guard, teeth nibbling into her bottom lip. He smiled back at the picture, but it fell a moment later as he flashed back to what happened just a little over an hour ago. There was no escaping an explanation, but…
"I know you want me to open up and talk about it," he started, turning his head so he could stare into her amethyst eyes, "and I will. I promise. But do you think maybe we can skip the soul-bearing heart-to-heart for tonight and pick it up tomorrow? I just want to stuff my face, cuddle, and watch that stupid show you love so much."
Her face softened and she smiled softly at him. She crawled across the cushion and cupped his face in her paws, kissing his lips. And the weight of what happened today felt a little lighter on his shoulders as she settled into his side, curled up against his chest as he flipped on the tv. Her breathy 'I love you' she thought he didn't hear sewing up the painful lashes his heart took this afternoon.
He would have to face his past tomorrow morning, bright and early before work because she wasn't going to let him get away that easy, but for tonight, he could just forget and watch mindless television with his girl and some takeout.
Nothing felt better in that moment.