Dear Kylie,
I don't know why I'm writing this letter to you. It is therapeutic, I guess. It feels better to at least imagine that I am having a sort of conversation with you, one way or another. A way to tell you what is happening, if you will.
It feels strange not having you here. This is the first time in a long time, I think, where you have been somewhere I could not find and I knew for certain that you were still alive. I actually got used to believing you dead, if you can believe it.
But the rock in my hand is warm still, and I know you're alive. It's strange, yes, but it's also a good strange. You're somewhere I can't reach, but you're alive. You're smart. You're resourceful. You will find your way to me, just as I will find my way to you.
We're working on a way right now. A spell, from the demon tablet. One to open another Rift. We're coming to get you and Jack, I hope you know that. I hope you're with him. Jack will keep you safe. He's a smart child. I like to think that he learned that from you. You did well with him when I wasn't there.
He looks up to you, you know. He respects you and cares for you like family. He felt bad when you left. He blamed himself for your disappearance. Now we know that you weren't gone by choice, and that I feel is my responsibility. Like I told you, I should've been there when you were taken. I should've been there to protect you. Sam and Dean feel the same way.
They miss you, you know.
I miss you too. I miss you so much. I wish you were here, Kylie. I'm glad you could escape, but I wish you were here with me.
I wonder where you are right now. I wonder what universe you're in, what you're doing. I know you're alive, I hope you're safe, and I just can't wait to see you again. I wish you were in my arms right now. I wish you were here so much I that if I could change the world just by wishing, then you would be here.
If I could change the world by wishing, then many things would be different. You would be here, alive and well and unharmed. Jack would be here. Mary would be here for the Winchesters. You would not be having such adverse reactions to Jack's abilities. In fact, you would have your own abilities back.
If I could change the world by wishing then I would wish for a child of our own, one that you would survive the birth of. I'm not saying that Jack is not a good child at all, but being a father, if only a short time… I just want to experience that with you. I kept looking over at Kelly as she was pregnant and seeing you, and it hurt. I wanted it to be our child. I wanted it to be our family.
It is anyways, but I think you would understand what I mean.
What else is there to catch you up on? We have Ketch, just so you know. We found him trying to hunt down Lucifer. You know, he had the nerve to attempt to bargain with us. I punched him in response. Twice. Very hard. I like to think you would've appreciated that. The only reason he isn't dead yet is because he has information to offer that we would like to have. We tried taking him.
He got away. I'm sorry for that. I should've just killed him outright. He says he's on our side, but I don't believe him. We've both seen too much of who he really is to trust him. Sam and Dean haven't seen everything. They've only heard it. We both know that there is a distinct difference between seeing and hearing what happens.
I'm sorry he got away.
I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from him.
I'm sorry for so much, Kylie. I'm going to find you. I'm going to make this right. I hope you know that.
I love you. Stay safe. I'll write you another letter soon.
When I see you again, I'll give you these letters. When I see you again, I'll never let you go again. I promise I'll do what I said I would, and keep you safe. You're my wife.
I can't wait to spend more time with you as husband and wife.
I'll see you soon. I promise.
Castiel