Jack was all too excited to bring me out into the woods. "I can't believe we didn't do this before! We all just… just assumed that you couldn't do things, but actually trying to test them!" He sounded cheery. "Of course doing the written and outlined stuff backfired the first time. That's not where your talents are! It's in this! Pure magic. Pure use!" He smiled broadly at me.

I chose to not ask what he meant when he said "the first time." It was probably best if I didn't know.

"And what you did, it was when you were in danger." He cheered. "You reacted on pure instinct. Your body and your mind remembers, somewhere, how to defend yourself! This is good!" He looked over at me, and saw the still expression on my face. "This… This is good, right? You can do magic. You'll be happier."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I… I'm enough without it, right?"

"No, you are!" He said quickly. "You absolutely are! I just… I remember the look on your face when you'd talk about it. You looked…" He thought for a moment. "Like there were good memories. Proud memories."

"Proud?" I asked.

"You made sure that I didn't feel ashamed of what I could do." Jack explained. "You did a lot to ensure I knew that what I could do was something to… to not be afraid of."

"Oh." I let that sink in. "I… I was good at it?"

"Very." Jack assured me.

"As good as you?" He laughed at that.

"I was told even better."

"Wow." I muttered. "And, when I… When I had magic," I thought for a moment. "I saved people, right? Like you?"

"Yes." He promised. "I was told you saved many people."

"What about the Kevin in the other world?" I asked.

"I don't know." He said. No. He looked as though he felt awkward talking about Kevin. "I never knew that Kevin existed in our world. I never met him." He cast me a sideways glance. "You didn't marry him, just so you remember." He said firmly. "Not in our world."

"Not the point." I muttered. "What about Jo? Or the Harvelles? Did I save them?"

"I never met them either." Another no.

"What about Mary?" I asked. "She ended up here. With Lucifer." They'd filled me in on the details a while back. "I couldn't save her from Lucifer, could I?"

"That wasn't your fault."

"So, no." I said. "Jack, have I actually ever saved anyone besides myself with magic? Anyone that you know of?" Jack opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again. I let out a huff of air. "I thought so." I muttered. "Jack, if I can't save people I don't know how useful this is."

"You can save people!" Jack promised me. "You… you probably have saved people that I don't even know about! We'll ask Mary. We'll ask Castiel and Sam and Dean when they get here! I just… I know you've saved people." Jack promised. "You just don't remember all the good you can do."

I kept quiet this time, trying to believe in what Jack was saying.

Once we were far enough out, Jack stopped us. "Alright. This is a good place." He looked around, thinking. "Force push is best. That seems really close to what you did earlier."

"Force push." I muttered. "OK. Force push." I stopped for a moment. "What's force push, exactly?" He offered me an odd look before, well…

He remembered that I didn't.

"Oh yeah." He muttered. "OK. So, force push is like," he picked up a rock and tossed it in the air. "It's like being able to do that, but pushing it away from you instead." To explain, he threw the rock straight at a tree in front of him. The rock bounced off harmlessly and fell to the ground. "Except you can hold it there, and keep pushing it into the tree if you want. It's like… Like a magic shield that you can push people and things with."

"OK." I muttered. "Magic shield. I… I have a magic shield. I used a magic shield."

"Yes!"

"I don't know how I did it." I admitted.

"That's OK! I didn't know either!" He assured me. "When I did it, I just… I just kind of did. And you taught me how to control it from just doing it to, well," he shrugged, and motioned to a larger boulder off to the left. He pushed a hand out to it, and it was pushed backwards a few feet. I felt my head pulse with pain, but it wasn't crippling. It was manageable.

Jack put his hand down immediately at seeing me wince. I wasn't down at the ground, though. I was OK. I was still standing.

"Like that?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah." He said. "Like that."

"OK." I agreed. "Just… Just push it back." I got up and walked towards the boulder, taking a look at it. I started to push it, curious. It was… Big. Heavy. I pushed hard against it, trying to move it myself.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't budge.

"You…" Jack looked at me concerned. "That… That's not how it works."

"I figured if I knew how it felt to move the boulder, it would be easier to, well," I shrugged, leaning against the object in question. "Move the boulder."

"Oh." I saw Jack think for a moment, then smile. "Oh! Of course! I remember doing that!"

"You do?"

"Yes!" He smiled. "OK. So, I know it's hard to imagine doing something you can't physically do, but, just…" he shrugged. "I don't know. Try? Pretend that you can. Imagine that you can anyways."

"OK." I nodded. I raised a hand experimentally, pointing it at the boulder. "Just… Just imagine pushing the boulder. Imagine pushing the boulder. The big," I took another look at it. "Heavy," I commented, my hand falling slightly. "Rock." I muttered.

My hand fell back to my side as I stared at it.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked.

"I don't," I took a breath, thinking as I stared at the thing. "I… I don't think I can do it." I admitted.

"You didn't even try." Jack pointed out.

"Because this is stupid." I argued, turning from the boulder to Jack. "Look, what happened," I blinked and saw Kevin, shrouded in gold. I blinked again, and he was gone. "Back there. It was a fluke. Maybe Kevin just didn't want to kill me after all, and he directed the spell."

"He didn't." Jack said certainly. "I could feel it. It was all you."

"But I don't know how I did it."

"Well, you told me once that magic is about intent." He repeated. "And earlier you said you didn't want to die. You just have to want the rock to move." He said.

"So, I just want things to happen, and they happen?" I asked.

"It's not exactly that simple," Jack tried. "It's just the easiest way to explain it. Just try again. Want the rock to move."

"Fine." I held a hand up to the boulder again. Move. I wanted the boulder to move. I wanted to watch the boulder move backwards. Or sideways. Or really any direction. I needed the boulder to move. If the stupid rock moved, then we could get going and I could learn to control it. It just has to move.

Nothing happened.

Nothing moved.

The boulder stayed right where it was, mocking me.

"Try thinking about a specific direction!" Jack encouraged. "Or a specific place you want it to move to!"

Specific.

Fine.

I want the boulder to move three feet to the left. I want the stupid boulder to move three stupid feet to the left. "Move." I muttered, shifting my hand sideways to accentuate my point.

Nothing happened.

"You can do it!" Jack encouraged.

"No, I can't." I argued, lowering my hand. "I don't know how to do it."

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't." I felt my voice growing just a little louder. I turned to face the Nephilim. "Jack, I'm not like you. Magic isn't a naturally ingrained part of me, and I can't remember a time when it was."

"But you can."

"I quite literally can't." I pointed out, motioning to the boulder. "It's not moving. I'm not doing anything. I'm sorry." I shrugged. "It's not happening."

I started walking back, my steps aimed towards camp. "I'll tell Bobby it was a flop. Don't worry."

"Don't." Jack said. His words came out like an attempt at a command. I kept walking. "Kylie, stop. We can do this. You didn't let me give up!"

"I'm not that person anymore!" I tossed the words over my shoulder angrily.

"Kylie, stop!" Jack shouted. From there…

I felt it before I saw it.

I turned around, and saw a small pulse of gold moving towards me. Jack stood behind it, his hand outstretched and his stance frustrated. I could see his face change from anger to fear as the pulse travelled towards me.

I reacted on instinct, putting a hand out. I could feel the intent of this. To stop me. To stop my movement so Jack could talk to me.

I didn't want to talk. I didn't want Jack to use his powers like that.

I wanted to go.

When the pulse reached me, I let my hand dip into it slightly. I could feel it, like liquid gold that was both hot and cold and comforting all at the same time, racing up my arm.

I made a fist, and closed off the flow of gold from Jack's energy to myself. I couldn't stop it, by far, but I…

I didn't quite know what I'd done.

The rest of the energy hit me the moment I blinked, freezing me in place. Jack came up to me quickly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry!" He exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just wanted you to stop and listen and I remembered when you wouldn't give up on me and," he paused, looking at my arm. When I looked down, I could still see gold racing up and into me for just a few moments until it disappeared. "And that's new." He commented. He looked up at my eyes. "You didn't fall. You did… something." I watched a smile grow on his face before he jumped into the air. "YES! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!"

"What did I even do?" I asked. I knew the answer, in the back of my mind. I'd… I'd stolen power. I'd taken some of the power in Jack's blast and siphoned off from it. I could even see the tinges of gold at the corners of my vision again.

"Something new." He decided. I watched him think for a few moments. "I've got it!" He ran off a few feet, looking for something in the dirt. What he ended up with was a large rock, easily bigger than his hand. "You did magic in reaction to being in danger. You did magic in reaction to me. You react!" He tossed the rock once in the air, and I watched as he held it in place a few feet above his hand. He watched my face closely, examining my reactions.

My head hurt a little bit, but… I was fine. I wasn't collapsing any time soon.

"What does all of this mean?" I asked. "And what are you doing with the rock?"

"You react!" He repeated. "I did magic best when it was with something I liked, or something that makes me happy. You taught me to do it by remembering happy things. But you don't remember anything that could work." He explained. "You remember, right now, reacting to the situation around you and adjusting to it."

"I guess, but what does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"It means you won't move the rock without a good reason to." Jack said. "It means that you have to react to the situation you're in."

"So?"

"It means," I watched him glance up at the rock. "React."

He pushed his hand out towards me, and the rock came flying at my head.