I woke up feeling tired and sore. It was… Things were different. Things were off.

I sat up slow to examine my surroundings. I was in a room. It was an odd mixture of browns. I was sitting in a… not a cot. Bigger than that. A bed. There were pillows behind me. In the room there was a mirror, some wooden boxes with what appeared to be shelves that pulled out. Drawers. A dresser was the big one. The other one was a nightstand. It was smaller. There was a light next to me too. A lamp. There were two doors. One led to what appeared to be another room, the other appeared to go outside. The other door goes to a bathroom.

There was a chair off to the corner. It had a backpack in it. Red, with a red leaf outlined in white on it. Canadian bag. Go USA.

On an impulse, I opened the drawers next to me, in the nightstand. There was a picture inside, and two angelic blades. Your blades. I picked up the picture instead. It was of me and Castiel. We were smiling. We looked happy.

You were happy.

I looked back at the top of the nightstand. There was food there. Some toast, and a glass of water.

Power snack. Good for when you overreach.

I felt my stomach rumble as I looked at it. Food was good. Food was needed right now. I polished off the toast quickly. The water was gone, next. It was only after I finished eating, though, that I heard people talking. I didn't recognize all the voices. I recognized some of them, though. They were loud and happy.

They're celebrating.

I was sitting up straight in the bed. I turned my body over, throwing my legs over the side to touch the floor. Wood floors. I'd remembered these. I'd remembered standing on them and being screamed at, but it was good screaming.

There was a knock at the door. Quiet knock. Polite knock. Someone who was aware I had been in here, but probably wasn't certain if I was awake.

I didn't say anything, but I stood up to go to the door. I hesitated once I reached the door, though. I didn't know who was on the other side. I…

I was on the other side. Were they from this side? Were they from the other? Would they expect me to know things about this side?

If I opened this door, could I keep it open?

I took a deep breath before going for the handle. I was being stupid. I was reading too much into this. It was just someone knocking at my door.

I opened it and saw nobody. "Hello?" I called out. My voice was a little hoarse, but it was audible.

I heard footsteps stop, and start coming my way. When I peeked out, I saw Castiel walking towards me. "I'm sorry." He apologized quickly. "I thought you might still be sleeping."

"No. I'm awake." I confirmed. Then I thought for a moment. "I'm awake, right? I…" I looked around again. Hallway. Safehouse. Bunker. "We made it, right? We made it out?" Home.

"Gabriel and Lucifer didn't make it." He said honestly. "But everyone else is here. You got us out."

"Oh." I looked down at my hands again, and for a moment saw them covered in a bright gold shine. It was gone as quickly as I saw it, though, leaving me with… Burnt and scarred hands? I looked up at Castiel, confused.

"I healed it as best I could." He promised. "Jack helped too. This was the best that either of us could get to."

"Oh." I looked at my hands again. "And… The power I used… Jack?" It was a bit fuzzy in my mind still. Something about magic and him was lingering in my brain.

"Jack will probably be able to explain it better than I can." Castiel said. "But that can wait. The important thing is that we're safe. You…" I looked back up at him. He was staring at me. It was that look like I was important to him. "You're safe, Kylie." He promised. "You're safe."

"Safe." I repeated. He nodded. "OK. We're safe." I thought on that for a little bit. I still didn't remember much. I remembered everything from when I'd been in the other world; my whole life had been dedicated to running and hiding and fighting and trying to achieve safety. All I knew was trying to get to this point right here, and never being certain as to whether or not we'd actually get to this point. "What do we do now?" I asked.

"What do you want to do?" Castiel asked in turn.

"I…" I wasn't certain. "I don't know."

"Do you remember anything, being here?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Not right now. Just a few words here and there." I admitted. "I… I don't remember anything about us by being here, if that's what you're looking for." That was true. I didn't remember anything here.

But earlier… When I'd been holding open the Rift…

"That's alright." Castiel promised. "They'll come back, bit by bit."

"You asked me why I was crying." I said instead. Castiel looked confused.

"You're not crying." He said.

"No, not now. Earlier." I had heard a memory. I had felt it. He had been there. "Earlier - earlier. 'Why are you crying, child?'" I was reaching for another memory. I couldn't tell if it was a memory or not, but it was something. "You wanted to see me again. You saw me. I was there. I was always there. You were there too." It was confusing. I wasn't making any sense, and I knew it. I looked up at Castiel, and saw him piecing together a few things himself.

"I asked you why you were crying when we first met." He said slowly. "You… You remember that?"

"I was alone and scared. I was sitting on cold concrete." I said. "You were there. I… I didn't believe you were there. And then later, you said you wanted to come find me. You found me." I pushed my hands to my head.

"If the memories hurt you, you don't have to keep trying." Castiel said quickly. I shook my head.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just trying to remember more." I said, tapping my forehead lightly. I closed my eyes, doing my best to focus. They were there, the memories. I could feel them just slipping and sliding out of reach. I grasped the smallest bit more of this one, focusing on it. "You… You gave me food. A sandwich. And," I felt another one sliding by. I snagged a glimpse of it. "There was a road. A different time. I was hurt, bad. There were bright lights," and the screeching of car tires on asphalt, struggling to stop in time. There was rain spattering around. "And Sam and Dean. In their car. You had me wrapped in your jacket." I opened my eyes. My head was starting to hurt, the pain growing rapidly.

Castiel, to his credit, noticed my discomfort immediately. "Too much." He decided, helping bring me back over to the bed I'd been on. "You pushed too much."

"I have a feeling I do that a lot." I muttered, pressing my palms back into my forehead. Maybe if I push back hard enough it'll push the pain away.

Castiel laid a hand on the back of my head, his fingers threading through my hair. The pain receded until there was only a dull ache left. "That's all I can do." He muttered. I looked back up at him, grateful.

"Thanks." We stayed like that for a minute. The touch was admittedly nice and comfortable. His hands were light, and warm.

He moved first, wrapping his arms tightly around me in a hug. "I missed you." He said simply. "Kylie, I can't begin to tell you how much I missed you. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I wish I had gotten there sooner."

"It's not your fault, Castiel." I promised.

"It isn't a question of fault." He responded. "It's just… Just that I missed you." I took a breath, letting myself calm down.

It's not Kevin. I reminded myself. It's OK. You're safe. Everyone is safe.

I leaned in a little more and hugged him back. "I'm glad I get to meet you again." I responded. He laughed a little against me, and I smiled.

We stayed like that for an uncertain amount of time, only pulling away when a voice cleared its throat at the door. Looking up, I saw Sam, Dean, Mary, Jack, and Bobby in the doorway.

"Everything alright, kiddo?" Bobby asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I promised. I looked over at Castiel. "Just… Just talking."

"OK." He smiled. "Well, whenever you two are done, we're having a bit of a party out in the main room."

"A party?" Mary offered me a smile at that words.

"We're celebrating." She explained. "Everyone made it back. We're safe."

That word again, safe. We were safe. But not everyone had made it. Gabriel hadn't, and I felt awful about that. I couldn't have waited any longer to save him, but still… I wished I had.

And from the look on Jack's face, the loss of his father, Lucifer, was hitting him as well.

"Almost everyone." I said. We all sombered for a moment, all of us probably envisioning different faces of people we wished were here with us. There were too many that we'd lost, too many that hadn't made it to safety.

But there was also a lot that had made it, and that was something to be proud of.

"We're going back." Bobby promised me. "Once we've got a plan of attack formed, we're going back to get everyone else out."

"We'll go back?" I asked. I could feel Castiel tense beside me at that thought. Bobby saw it too, and cast a glance over at the angel.

"Those who want to go back and help are more than welcome." He amended. "But a lot of people have also been through, well," he shrugged. "A lot. So if anyone doesn't want to go back, then that's alright too. I understand that."

Even if he wasn't saying it, I understood what Bobby meant. If I didn't want to go back with him, and wanted to get my life figured out here first instead, then I could. I could, and he wouldn't hold it against me.

"OK." I said. Nothing committal on my end. In all honesty, I wanted the time to think. I wanted the time to figure things out and go from there.

I just wanted a chance to figure out the world here. I'd agreed to come instead of staying behind originally. I… I had to see it through. I had to figure it out.

"If you're feeling up to it, we'd love to have you out partying with us." Dean invited. Sam nodded behind him.

"You closed the door and stuck Michael back there." He agreed. "Hell, you kept the door open long enough for us to get through. A lot of people would probably love to see you."

"They," I could feel concern in my voice. "They're not scared of me? They don't think it's bad that I'm a witch?"

"You kidding me?" Bobby laughed. "You saved them. You," he pointed at me. "Did that. Nobody has a bad thing they could possibly say about you."

"Wow." I thought on that, glancing back over at Jack. They'd all accepted him, and even revered him, for everything he could do and everything he was. It may not have been that way at first, but he'd proven himself over and over again. Everyone respected him.

He looked back over at me and offered a small nod.

"It's OK." He agreed. "They're all excited."

"OK." I looked back at Castiel. "I… I think I'll come out in a moment. I think," I glanced back over at the others. "I think I need to talk some things out with Castiel first."

Everyone nodded, and left one by one from the doorway until it was only me and Castiel again. He moved a small amount away from me, giving us both the room to look at each other easily. We both just st there for a few moments, looking at each other and thinking.

"You feel overwhelmed." He stated, watching my facial expressions.

"Yes." I admitted, letting out a sigh. The second that was out in the open, it was as though this barrier in my mouth had been washed away for words to flow through. "About everything. I don't remember much at all about my life in this world, or about you," I felt bad at saying that, but glancing up at him told me that he was OK with those words. "Or about memes or culture or what to do or how to act or where anything is, and I could keep going on and on and on about the different things in this world I don't know or understand but the fact of the matter is simply that I just don't know anything about this world. All I know and remember is surviving in the other one." I looked over at Castiel, and he just nodded in understanding. His nod encouraged me to keep going. "And you and Sam and Dean and Mary and Jack and Bobby have all had these preconceived ideas about who I am and who I was before I forgot everything, and I've had enough time around Bobby and Jack and Mary for them to get more used to who I am like this. But Dean and Sam and you haven't. And I know that here, I," I glanced down at the ring on my hand.

That stopped me from speaking, and all I could imagine for a few more minutes was Kevin's face. I didn't even know if I could tell Castiel that, much less if I should.

Castiel grasped the hand with the ring on it lightly, bringing my thoughts back to my present. "We're married." He said simply. I nodded, gulping a little.

"Yeah." I said. "I'm married here."

"You were married in the other world, too." Castiel added.

"How did you know?"

"I guessed." He admitted. "And I'm guessing it wasn't to me."

"No."

"Did you meet them?"

"I did."

"May I ask who it was?"

"Kevin." His name felt heavy in my mouth. "He and the me from the other world got married, and were married for a long time. Bobby told me all about it. Then I died there, and Kevin went to work for the angels."

"Jack told me about the sigil."

"I saw your face when he did it." I added. "I don't know why, but I did. I saw your face while I was stopping the sigil from killing me."

"Kylie," Castiel interrupted politely. "I don't want you to think that you have to be my wife here." He said. "I know you don't remember being married to me, and I understand that after everything you've been through the thought of having a husband again can be terrifying." I nodded.

"I don't want you to die too." I said. "And I don't want to hurt you by pretending I'm someone I don't know how to be."

"And I don't want to ask you to be that person." He said. I watched him furrow his brows for a minute. "No. That's a lie, and I'm sorry. In all honesty, I do want to have you back and all your memories there and for us to go right back to being together again, but I know that that won't be the case. So I'm not going to ask." He smiled a little. "Instead, I just want to know what you want to do."

"What I want to do?" I asked. He nodded.

"Do you want to just be friends? Do you want some time or space away from me to adjust here?" At that last sentence, I saw his stance change. It wasn't an option he liked, but it was one he would respect. "Whatever it is you want, I support you."

"I don't want you to go," I started. I watched him relax. "But you're right, the idea of you as my husband and me having to act like that terrifies me. And if you need space as well because I'm not acting like the person you want me to be, then I understand that as well. I'd rather you take the time and space versus wanting me to go back to someone I don't know how to be. But I'd like to just get to know you." I finally said. "I don't know if that will entail anything romantic, and I can't promise that. But I do know that I'd like to form memories with you, and learn who you are and how I fit in alongside you." I watched as a smile formed back on his face.

"I'm not leaving you for anything." He promised. "And I can do that. Friends?" He asked. I nodded.

"Friends." I agreed. I could feel a small nagging thought in my mind. "For now." I added.

"For now?"

"I'd like to see how things go." I repeated. "And… If I find that I develop feelings for you, but there's no guarantee again that that will happen," I put my hands up at that, but I could still see Castiel's smile growing. "But if it does, then," I took a deep breath. "Then I wouldn't mind exploring that as well."

"That will be entirely your choice." He promised. I let out a sigh of relief, leaning over to hug him.

"Thank you, Castiel." I felt more relaxed after those words. It was like… It was like the fears of what happened with Kevin repeating itself had washed away, if only for a moment. Castiel wasn't Kevin, Castiel was different. He was here. He was understanding. He cared about me and wanted to give me the chance to figure it out on my own.

"Can I ask a favor?" Castiel asked. I pulled away to nod a yes at him. "Will you call me Cas?"

"Cas?"

"It's a nickname." He explained. "Sam and Dean and everyone else use it. Castiel feels too formal for," he paused for just a minute. "For a friend to use."

"Friends." I agreed, smiling. I glanced down, and saw the ring on my finger glinting accusingly. "Oh, uh," I saw Castiel follow my gaze, and before I could say anything he clasped his hands around mine.

"Keep it." He requested. "Not because I expect anything, or because I'm pushing you to be someone you do not remember being. Just to remember."

"Remember what?"

"That if and when you choose to pursue something between us again," he let go of my hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

I looked at it again, and this time it appeared less accusing and more… relaxed. Like the ring was mine and was supposed to stick around with me.

I felt a little bit of a happy warmth inside my chest. Castiel – Cas – was different from Kevin. He was different. I could do this.

I didn't feel scared about this.

"Thank you."

We stayed like that for a while, me hugging him softly and him keeping a single arm wrapped loosely around my shoulders. It was nice. It was comforting.

It actually felt like it was OK to believe I was safe here, like this. How could something so simple and so honest not be OK?