It doesn't take long for the ominous feeling in Ayaka's gut to prove itself right. They are only a few minutes into their "forest adventure", and it's already seeming like a terrible idea. The once brightly lit forest seems strangely ominous now. Though they were here only a few days ago, the landscape is almost unrecognizable, transformed into a setting that would not be out of place in a horror story.
This can't be normal, right? Ayaka is hardly an expert on forests, but she doesn't think they're supposed to do this. Is this… ninjitsu? Growing up in a ninja village means she's grown up surrounded by people who can do incredible unbelievable things with little more than a few moves with their hands. From what she can vaguely remember from lessons, the trees that grow all over Konoha are supposed to be trees made from the first (or was it second?) Hokage's jutsu or something.
Maybe the trees are supposed to be like this, like a fickle stray cat that licks your hand one day then scratches it the next, as Ayaka has experienced before. Maybe, if they walk a little deeper, wait a longer, the trees will go back to how they were before, like the stray cat that just doesn't know how to act around people.
But no matter what she tells herself, no matter what images she tries to conjure up through strange metaphors, her heart won't stop beating too fast, and the trees only seem to loom larger over them. The feeble light filtering through the canopy only makes the shadows they cast even more eerie.
Worst of all, is the fact that the entire forest is strangely silent, devoid of the usual noises of nature.
Ayaka thinks she can still hear the brook babbling in the distance, but it is muted, muffled, so much so it may be little more than a trick of her mind. There are no birds chirping here, no small creatures rushing through the bush, not even a gentle rustling of leaves as even the wind seems still-seems dead.
The word rings in her ears, and she tries not to think of Sai.
Even Naruto, who is usually oblivious to subtleties in mood has detected the drastic change of the forest around them. Actually, he seems even more affected, strangely enough, as he seems to grow ever more jittery and anxious the deeper they go into the forest.
His gaze darts back and forth, blue eyes wide in barely concealed fear. It's clear by now that his initial excitement at an adventure has quickly faded, and it's only his pride keeping him from running back to the relative safety of the orphanage. In all honestly, Ayaka wants to do the same, but she can't.
Not without Sai.
The truth is, Ayaka doesn't know why she cares so much about some orphan boy she hasn't spoken more than two sentences to in their entire time together. It doesn't make any kind of sense, and anytime she tries to think of why he feels so important to her, strange echoes clang in her head, making her dizzy with colourful wisps she can't place or decipher-
(There's a house, only it's nothing like any of the houses she's ever seen, and there's a man and a woman, an older girl and a younger boy, and then there's stacks of books and a young girl with dark hair and-)
-o-
Sometimes, Ayaka dreams of a girl with dark hair and dark eyes, face always pointed downwards a tiny notebook in her hands. Usually the dream ends or shifts then, but sometimes, it goes on, and the girl looks up at her.
Often, the girl is sad, looking pale and small, with circles under her eyes, and a delicate frown. There's such crushing despair in those dark orbs, an ocean that she drowns in, but worst of all is the an unspoken accusation that is woven in. Her mouth opens and her lips move, but only a strange garbled sound comes out.
Ayaka doesn't understand, but her heart aches anyway. She yearns to reach out, to take the girl's hands, to hold her in her arms, but she's always, always , too late, and the scene cuts itself short, sputtering in a blaze of fire that tears a wordless scream from her throat.
When she wakes up, she cannot recall any of it, and she forgets the pale face until the next time she spies a boy with her dark hair and dark eyes, but even so, the weight over her heart settles like stone, and the taste of ash lingers on her tongue for days after.
-o-
Despite their mutual unspoken misgivings, Ayaka and Naruto continue to walk deeper into the forest, where the light seems to fade with every step they take. There's a rising sense of urgency, of wrongness, and their footsteps quicken instinctively. What little noise there was seems to have ceased entirely, and now their heartbeats sound out, all too loudly, in the dead silence.
Ayaka's thoughts are filled with images of a dark-haired figure lying bloody on the ground, an image that makes her start to walk even faster, until a hand is pulling her back. She flinches at the sudden touch, nearly slamming a fist into her attacker's face until she realizes who it is.
Naruto is looking uncharacteristically worried, his mischievous replaced with a deep frown. There's concern and fear mixed into his bright blue eyes.
"Ayaka…" Naruto whispers urgently, moving a little closer towards her, as though somehow afraid the forest will hear them. "I'm gettin' a really bad feeling from this place right now."
He gestures vaguely around them, though his eyes seem to linger in the thick shadows between the trees, where there is no light at all.
Ayaka doesn't answer him, only bites her lips 'til she draws blood and walks further in, ignoring the shadows that seem to creep in, ever closer towards them. The hairs on the back of her neck have been prickling ever since they've entered these woods, and she agrees wholeheartedly with the blonde. Maybe she is walking to her doom, and dragging her poor new friend with her, but she has to do it. For Sai.
(There's an echo of another name, another face, something that pokes at the edges of her memory, and it's a steady, constant presence, an unseen ghost that lingers over her, always just at the edges, so she can never fully see, never truly understand -)
"Cmon, it's getting dark, we gotta turn back!" Naruto's voice has a tinge of desperation now, at her continued silence, and he's grabbing harder onto Ayaka's arm, digging his nails into her skin hard enough that she almost winces again. But she doesn't. She's too used to pain, and too numb with fear and fog and the need to find the black-haired boy.
Instead, Ayaka turns to him, pasting a quick grin filled with false bravado that betrays none of the fraying nerves inside her. "All the more reason we need to find Sai."
Unconvinced by her response or the obviously fake smile on her face, Naruto shakes his head quickly, exclaiming. "Look, I dunno if it was even really him! Plus, that was hours ago!"
"He wasn't at the yard. Where else would he go?" Ayaka counters reasonably, but even if that wasn't the case, some part of her is certain that Sai is here. The forest would not feel this way otherwise, she is sure.
"Anywhere but here," Naruto snaps, stressing the last word with a harsh tone that only makes Ayaka snap too.
"You can go back, but I'm not leaving 'til I find him!" She tells him fiercely, meaning every word with the kind of reckless abandon she's always possessed in spades.
But, she realizes belatedly, possibly not in Naruto. It's easy to forget, with how much they are alike, how they are also different.
Naruto has no strange attachment to Sai. He has no reason to be here other than her, and suddenly, she feels a foreign stab of guilt at thought of the danger he might be in now because of her.
This time, she does wince, as she realizes it's probably better if she does do this alone, so she tells him, more gently, as she shakes her head, "I shouldn't've asked you to come. I'll find Sai myself."
Without waiting for a response, she quickly moves forward, footsteps heading into the ominous black with a fiery determination that blazes clear in her brown eyes.
(Deep in her heart, something aches and throbs, a need so fierce that she bites her lips and bleeds-blood and pain and a haze of red around them and-)
-she needs to save him.
-o-
There is a serious shortage of ninja in Konoha at present. After the wars that took out so many of their forces, it's been a slow and desperate race to build back an army capable of defending the Land of Fire from the many hostiles that surround them. So, what do they do?
The overcrowded orphanage, with all the disposable, moldable children inside it, are an obvious solution.
But a strong ninja village needs more than just a large ninja force, more than just a line of bodies to throw at the enemy. To be a strong ninja village, you need strong ninjas.
Civilian orphans, with no bloodline limits, no clan jutsu and no training besides the Academy standard, don't make for very strong ninjas.
-o-
Or do they?
-o-
Amongst the many ninja villages in existence, Konoha has a reputation for being "soft". Unlike the others, they have no propensity for murderous graduation exams or kidnapping talented kekkei genkai users for their own. Instead, they spout words of teamwork and friendship, ideas at odds with the general image of ninja.
But despite this, they are, at their core, still ninjas , and the words they spout most of all is the Will of Fire.
The Will of Fire burns within every citizen in Konoha.
Sometimes, the fire will hurt and harm it's wielder, but everything is for the good of the village.
For the Will of Fire to continue burning, sometimes, sacrifices have to be made.
-o-
And the overcrowded orphanage, with all the disposable, moldable children inside it, are an obvious solution.
-o-
Ayaka doesn't run for long before she senses a change. Something seems to waver in the air, something that makes a shiver run down her spine, as she looks around wildly. For a moment, nothing seems different, and then, suddenly, the light seems to break through the fog of darkness.
Like a cup breaking apart in her hands making water spill out, the familiar sights and sounds of the forest return. The rushing water of the river, the rustle of the leaves in the wind, the birds chirping, all of it is suddenly, inexplicably back.
Standing amidst a beautiful picture of tranquility once more, Ayaka trembles. She doesn't understand. Though the world around her seems bright and happy once again, and the haunted woods she'd travelled through seem like just a bad dream, she isn't at all content.
Because the same certainty in her gut that told her Sai was in this forest, is now telling her he is gone.
-o-
Ayaka falls to the ground then, like a doll with its strings cut. The unflagging determination she'd possessed that kept her walking through a nightmare version of this forest has left her completely.
Now, there's only a familiar ache in her chest, one that grows, until it's seeps into her blood and spreads across her like poison.
She failed.
Again.
-o-
In another world, a long time ago, a young girl looks on at the raging fire, desperation tearing through as she cries out for the figure in a shadow of the flames that she failed to save.
Sister.
-o-
Ayaka knows, in her heart of hearts, that she was doomed to fail.
After all, she is no hero.