The thing is, for the longest time, Naruto didn't have a lot of friends.
...Well, okay, he didn't have any friends.
But it wasn't his fault. It wasn't like he didn't try to make friends. He was always trying to play games and talk and smile, just like everyone else. But no matter what he did, it always ended the same way.
Everyone would turn away from him, ignore his calls, and, in the end, he'd be left behind, all alone.
For as long as he could remember, Naruto was alone.
-o-
Naruto had been in the orphanage since birth, one of the many casualties of the Kyuubi's attack years ago. Even more than the others, however, it seems like he was cursed from the very beginning, as he was born in the very night of the attack. The night he was born was the night his parents died .
They died protecting him, at least. Or, that's what he assumes ( hopes ). No one ever tells him anything when he asks about his parents. The caretakers tend to ignore pretty much all his questions, but especially the ones about his parents. So, all Naruto really knows is his last name.
Uzumaki.
It sounds cool, he thinks, and tries to be proud to bear it, imagines other people out there who might hold it to. Maybe it's childish, but he can't help but cling to the dream of someone one day coming into the orphanage, of an Uzumaki looking for another.
He imagines them, sometimes, a whole crowd of Uzumakis, just like him. All with blonde hair, blue eyes and lines on their cheeks.
-o-
One day, far off into the future, he'll finally achieve these secret dreams, even if it's in a way he never would have expected. He will never find a whole crowd of Uzumakis, because he's arrived years too late, but he will find the last few, and he will new ones.
Little ones, with eyes like his and smiles that will never have to be faked.
-o-
That's a long day off though. Now, Naruto is just another orphan, who, among a crowd of sad, pathetic souls, is even sadder and more pathetic, because not only does he not have any family-he doesn't even have any friends.
The blonde tries not to let it get to him, only tries harder, smiles wider, at every rejection, at every ache in his chest as loneliness gnaws at him. He tries to be like the heroes he hears about, the great and the strong ninjas who have a million friends and admirers.
But, sometimes, it's just too much for him. In the beginning, there are a lot of nights where he cries himself to sleep, muffling the noise with his fist in his mouth as his tears fall onto his pillow. He wonders why no one wants to be his friend, why he was born cursed, why no matter what he does, he is always alone. The questions chase him through the night and into the new day, always at the back of his mind.
Sometimes, the weight of it all turns into anger instead. He shouts and screams, generally making a nuisance of himself to those around him. Negative attention is still attention, he learns early on, and he wants attention, at least, if affection is impossible.
So, Naruto becomes a troublemaker, and makes even more enemies in those around him. But, sometimes, he manages to pull a laugh or two with his pranks, and it's almost enough (to make him forget, to make him feel not so alone, if only just for a moment).
-o-
For the longest time, every day of Naruto's friendless life passes the same way, an endless parade of lonely grey, even when the skies are bright blue and the sun is shining, and he remains alone, in the crowded halls of the orphanage.
Until one day, Sato Ayaka bursts into his life, an explosion of noise and smiles, and there's so much warmth now, that he thinks he might just burn if he stays too close for too long (but he doesn't care, and he'll grab as tightly as he can anyway).
-o-
Somehow, someway, they becomes friends.
-o-
For years, he's struggled with the secret to making them. He's always thought, maybe, he's just been doing something wrong. That, maybe, if he just said the right things or did it the right way, he could finally make some friends too. But, the thing is, Naruto turns it over in his head for days after, but he still isn't really sure exactly how he made his first friend.
It was just another day, when all of a sudden, the girl walked right up to him and basically declared them friends then and there. Just like that. Like it was that easy (maybe, for Ayaka, it was).
Of course, then, she said it was all some trick, and they ended up fighting. But, somehow... that only made them closer?
Yeah, Naruto really doesn't get it, and he doesn't get her at all. Even after being friends with her for a few months now, all he really knows for sure about Ayaka is that she is definitely a weirdo .
-o-
Naruto learns quickly that the scary-looking scars all over her arms (burn marks , he will learn later), that she delusionally proclaims as beautiful, are probably the least weird thing about her.
They way she burst into his life was probably his first big hint, but she's always dragging him into things. Before he realizes what's happening, they end up going on all sorts of dangerous adventures because she's even more reckless than he is-but without any of his awesome stamina, so she always ends up looking super beat up next to him, which only makes the glares he gets from the caretakers about their friendship ten times worse.
It's totally unfair, considering Ayaka herself never even seems to mind, and even seems to like every new bruise and cut she gets, calling them battle scars, and making fun of him for having "skin like a sissy-baby's butt". In return, he called her a "wrinkly raisin-granny", and they ended up fighting, brawling in the ground, not unlike their first day as friendship, which definitely should've given him a clue, probably.
Hitting girls is supposed to be wrong, he knows, but Ayaka is basically a girl in name only as far as he's concerned. He doesn't think a girl-or, really, anybody else-would laugh like crazy almost every time they fight. It's totally creepy, especially when she does it through a bleeding mouth. He's pretty sure she only does it to creep him out, because she's a jerk like that, but he can never be sure .
Because, yeah, Sato Ayaka is the strangest girl he's ever met, and he has no clue how she thinks at all.
But… he likes her anyway.
-o-
At first, he can hardly believe it at all.
From the moment Ayaka suddenly decided to be his friend, she's been constantly dragging him to do things, sticking to him like glue almost the entire day, despite all the stares this unexpected behaviour gets her.
Maybe he should stop being shocked after the third time it happens, but honestly, Naruto never knows what to expect with the girl who's suddenly such a fixture in his life. All too often, he has to pinch himself because he can hardly believe any of this is real, that this is all really happening.
He thinks, if this is all just a dream, then he doesn't want to wake up.
Like all dreams though, like good things in his life, he expects it to end. He expects her to say, any moment now, to find his first friend looking at him with eyes just like everyone else.
Hate. Fear. Indifference. Annoyance.
Ayaka says she doesn't care what the caretakers think about their friendship, but what about the other kids?
Unlike Naruto, Ayaka has plenty of friends among their fellow orphans. Unlike him, she was always surrounded by people all the time, laughing and playing.
(He remembers looking at her, at them, and the familiar throb of longing and jealousy burning in his gut, before he forced it away with a fake smile on his face- )
Or, at least, that was the case before she suddenly decided she wanted to be friends with him . Naruto wonders if he's really cursed after all, because as soon as Ayaka publicly declares herself his friend, she suddenly starts to lose all her old ones.
One by one, they begin to reject her friendship just as surely as they all reject his. All her attempts at getting them to come with her fail as soon as they see him by her side. They resist when she tries to drag them anyway, and Ayaka gets angry enough she only hits them once in frustration before leaving in a huff.
When she asks them why, they only look at him . One of them outright tells her to just stop being friends with him.
Naruto expects her to reject him then, to leave him for her old friends. He expects her to stop showing up by his side, to stop grinning at him and dragging him off to go down the slide backwards or to do something equally stupid and insane. He expects his days with her to end . He expects her to leave him all alone again.
But it doesn't happen. He keeps waiting for the dream to end, but it never does.
Instead, Ayaka comes to him with plans to prank all her old friends, and though she's brimming with anger at the perceived betrayal, she laughs with him, wild and free (and just a little bit creepy) as ever, when they manage to pull off their plans without a hitch.
-o-
Naruto really doesn't get why she wants to be friends with him at all. But he's so glad that she is.
Sure, she's a complete weirdo, a crazy girl who constantly gets them into trouble. Half the time, she just mocks him and makes fun of him, laughing when he gets angry and they start fighting instead.
But even when they fight, they have fun, and, like Ayaka says, all of it is good practice for when they become ninjas someday. They both share the same dream of going to the Academy and being awesome. She likes pranks just as much as he does, and is even, maybe, just as good at them. Naruto is still better, obviously, but Ayaka was pretty awesome too. The two of them make a great team , as they discover, and together, they become the twin pranking terrors of the orphanage.
Overall, they have a great time together, and he doesn't think he's ever laughed or grinned as much as when he's with her. It's almost like he's been blind all this time, because the greys of his old days have now exploded into such dizzying colours.
Sure, it's the same old broken down orphanage, with all the same people who still hate or ignore him inside it, but having even just a single friend… suddenly, it's not so bad . It's like he can do anything now, as long as they're by each other's sides.
Ayaka's not just his first friend, she's his best friend, and he already can't imagine a life without her.
-o-
Then, one day, it all falls apart.
At first, it's another day just like any other, where the two of them are eagerly discussing plans for a new prank, when Ayaka suddenly looks over to the orphanage's yard and starts says something about a forest adventure.
Obviously, Naruto agrees, because it's an adventure, after all, and, really, by now, he knows better than to bother disagreeing with Ayaka when she gets that glint in her eyes. They'll just end up fighting, and then, eventually, he'll agree to do what she wants anyway.
So, they go into the forest, to look for this Sai kid, for some reason. He doesn't know why they're doing this, why they should even care what he does. The blonde vaguely recalls the boy who's always had his head in a book. He's boring, frankly, and he's never really paid any attention to him.
Naruto only noticed him walking into the forest because he remembered thinking that was kind of weird of him to do, when all he ever did was sit under the tree in the yard and read before. Maybe he wanted to go sit under some other trees? Naruto hadn't cared enough to ask.
But, apparently, Ayaka does.
He doesn't understand why . From what he remembers, Sai wasn't even part of her group of old friends either. Sure, the caretakers like to talk about how all the orphans in the orphanage are supposed to be one big family , but he knows it's not true.
So, why is Ayaka suddenly looking like it's the most important thing in the world to find this one boy? There's a strange glint in her eyes almost as unsettling as the forest. Naruto will be the first to admit that she's always a little strange, but this is different.
Sai is, somehow, different.
(If he's completely honest with himself, he's more than a little jealous of that. But he's always been a liar , so all he does is paste a bright smile on his face and think of adventure--)
-o-
But their little forest adventure goes wrong almost as soon as they step into the trees. Everything is dark and shifty and just plain scary. There's something in the air that makes the back of his neck break out into goosebumps.
Naruto isn't some kind of sissy, okay, but he isn't a complete idiot, like some people believe, either. This forest is totally making his skin crawl like a thousand fire ants, and his stomach is basically nothing but a bunch of knots at the moment.
He has learned to trust his instincts, and they are screaming at him right now. Leave.
So, he tries. He goes up to Ayaka, and throws away his pride in favor of actually making it out of this creepy place alive. Besides, even his crazy friend must realize what kind of situation they're in and want to leave to.
But, Ayaka is insistent. For some reason, this-Sai-is too important to her.
"I shouldn't've asked you to come. I'll find Sai myself."
The words come suddenly, out of the blue, and they echo in the darkness of the forest.
He doesn't realize what is happening before it's late.
Stunned by her words, Naruto can only stand gaping at her quickly receding back. Before he knows it, Ayaka has disappeared into the shadows of the forest.
Leaving him all alone again.
-o-
No. Wait.
Naruto's running as soon as the situation hits him. The forest looms over him, ever ominous, but he hardly notices now, too focused on trying to find Ayaka.
On the way, the forest has changed again, dark giving way to light as the sun colours the ground a rich green once more. He notices it only distantly, any curiosity and confusion overshadowed by his current mission.
He doesn't know how long he's been running and searching in the forest, when he trips and falls in the dark, the thorns from some wild grass cutting painfully into his legs. But he's up again after only a moment, barely aware of the pain, because that's when he sees figure on the ground, and his heart skips a beat when he realizes just who it is.
"Ayaka! "
Immediately, he scrambles closer, heedless of his own injuries as his hands hovering uncertainly above her still form. Her eyes are closed, and she's not moving at all.
"Hey, hey, this isn't funny! Wake up already-" He calls out desperately, shaking her with hands that are gripping a little too tightly. "What's wrong? "
But Ayaka doesn't answer, doesn't open her eyes. She's not moving at all-not even the steady rise and fall of someone who's just sleeping.
At that realization, panic floods him further, until he's dizzy with the possibility. Naruto tries not to think about it, but the thought comes anyway.
Nononono.
He can't lose her.
(Ayaka's not just his first friend, she's his best friend, and he already can't imagine a life without her- )
A terrible scream slips from Naruto's mouth, hoarse and desperate, a wild animal sound that makes all who hear it shiver.
-o-
The forest transforms a third time then, as flood of familiar oppressive chakra fills the air with killer intent.
Its echoes resound all through Konoha: in the orphanage where the caretakers find their worst fears confirmed and the children begin to cry in confusion; in the rest of the village, where the civilians feel uneasy, while the ninja immediately go on the defensive, and a brave reckless few head for the source-
And in the hidden underground passageways beneath the forest, where a ROOT agent has an unconscious Sai held over his shoulder, where the feeling is the worst of all, he finds himself unable to move, trapped by a sudden well of fear not even ROOT training could remove.