More scenelets that I've dug out of my scraps files and placed into order.
These were meant to give me an idea of how to proceed.
It didn't work.
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Scene 7
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Hinata looked at her two new team-mates.
When Naruto had somehow failed the exam, Sasuke had claimed the position of Rookie of the Year, thus Team 7 had been slated to be her, Sasuke and Kiba.
Then Naruto had managed to get a battlefield promotion by exposing the traitor Mizuki, and had been assigned to Team 7 instead.
Ironically in the Dead Last position.
"Arrrgh!" Naruto snarled. "It's been over half an hour! Hey, Hina-chan, let's get some ramen!"
Sasuke blinked at that. "What?"
Naruto made several clones and one of them dashed out through the window. "It's obvious that our new sensei hates me, hence why he hasn't shown up, so I'm calling in a favour the Old Man owes to get a new teacher. Now, let's go. First to the Old Man, then to Ichiraku's, my treat!"
"Is there… a tomato Ramen?" Sasuke asked from his position at the back of the classroom and Naruto frowned in thought.
"I think I saw one on the menu…"
"What are we waiting for?" Sasuke asked from the window.
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Kakashi looked round at the deserted classroom, then a masked figure appeared at his side.
"Kakashi, the Hokage wants to speak to you. He has reassigned your team."
"What?!"
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Scene 8
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Inuzuka Tsume stared at her empty hand, completely perplexed. She had decided to try the famed Bell Test, but when she had held up the bells, they had vanished.
With a smirk on his face, Naruto pulled three bells out of his pocket (but she had only been holding two!) and distributed them to his team-mates under her shocked gaze.
"Wha… bu… how?" Kuromaru managed and Tsume nodded in agreement with her canine companion.
"I'm awesome like that."
Sasuke hnn'd in what sounded like reluctant agreement while Hinata seemed to be lost in a memory that was making her blush and smile at the same time.
"Well… I guess you pass." Tsume finally admitted. "We'll do our first mission tomorrow."
"Sure thing!" Naruto chirped, then he nudged Hinata to get her attention. "Hey, you able to move, or do I have to do that again?"
Hinata blushed so brightly that she almost glowed while Tsume frowned in confusion.
"Don't ask." Sasuke said, shuddering in remembered terror. "Just… don't ask."
Tsume decided then and there that it was time to interrogate her son about his former classmates.
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Scene 9
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Tsume stopped dead in her tracks, staring at Naruto who was examining a pair of gauntlets linked by a shuriken chain. Several of his clones had popped into existence and were sealing two piles of clothing into a scroll.
"Where did you get those from?" She asked, unsure that she actually wanted the answer. Naruto simply pointed to a puddle ahead of them where a pair of naked men were emerging, choking and spluttering.
"They were waiting to ambush us." Hinata explained as she turned her gaze away from the soaked duo. "I told Naruto-kun and he…"
"You stole their stuff while we were still a hundred yards away?" Tsume choked in disbelief.
"Erm… spoils of war?"
Tsume sighed and started rummaging in her pack for the prisoner scrolls that she habitually carried.
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Scene 10
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Zabuza crashed to the ground. Picking himself up, he turned to fix a quizzical stare at the notched tree behind him, a tree that had a very serious lack of a giant sword that had created the notch.
"…the fuck?"
Tsume turned to her blond Genin.
Just as she had expected, he was examining the giant sword, ignoring the fact that it was larger than he was and he hadn't actually been anywhere near the weapon.
She still had no idea how he did it.
"How the hell did you grab my sword?" Zabuza asked and Naruto grinned.
"I'm just that awesome? Ooh, how does this look?"
A voice started swearing in the treetops as Naruto pulled out a very familiar Kiri Hunter-nin mask and put it on.
"How does anyone see in these things?"
Zabuza facepalmed.
It was going to be one of those missions.
"At least leave them their dignity." Sasuke sighed and Naruto giggled self-consciously.
"Um, oops?"
"What did you do?"
By way of reply, Naruto dropped a very familiar jockstrap onto the ground, followed by a lacy bra and panties. Zabuza's eyes widened.
In the trees, the swearing increased.
"…the fuck?"
"I don't know." Tsume mourned. "He's my genin, and I still have no idea of how he does it."
"At least give me my bloody sword and wallet back!"
"Awwwwwww!"
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Scene 11
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The assembled mercenaries stared in shock at their empty hands while Tsume, having worked out what had just happened (albeit still having no clue about the how), sighed in resignation.
"What the hell are you doing?" A commanding voice yelled and the now-disarmed mercenaries moved aside to let the short figure of Gato through.
"Ooooh, that is one smart suit." Naruto whistled as he looked up from sealing the pile of weapons by his feet.
Tsume closed her eyes in pain. She just knew what was going to happen.
"Are old men's bits always that small?" Hinata asked curiously and Tsume opened her eyes just in time to see Gato realise that he was naked.
How the hell did Naruto do that?
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Scene 12
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"I, Maito Gai, nominate Team 9 for the Chunin exams!"
"I, Sarutobi Asuma. nominate Team 10 for the Chunin exams."
Yuhi Kurenai opened her mouth, but Tsume beat her to it.
"I, Inuzuka Tsume, nominate my team for the chunin exams and warn everyone to beware of naked panic as a result."
Everyone turned to stare at her and Tsume pulled out the hip flask that had become her (other) constant companion.
"…naked panic?" Hiruzen finally asked.
"One of my genin, Uzumaki Naruto, is a thief. A damned good one. His shnobi skills are already better than chunin, he told me that he got lessons from a group of retired ninja who live in his building, but his theft skills are like nothing I've ever seen before. He even managed to steal Kakashi's mask once!"
Everyone's eyes widened in shock as Kuromaru nodded in confirmation.
"I couldn't believe it until he handed me my knickers." Tsume added, taking another swig. "The ones I had been wearing. He managed to swap them with rope."
The wide eyes widened until the assembled shinobi looked like Rock Lee's long-lost relatives.
"I… think I'll check with my team." Kurenai said.
"Me as well. Hold the nomination, will you?" Asuma said as he dashed towards the door.
"Is he really that bad?" Hiruzen sighed, but it was Gai who answered.
"He is incredibly skilled. He once managed to remove all of Tentens weapons without her knowledge, including a few hidden in her… ahem, well, none of us could work out how he did it."
"I've seen him do it, and I still don't know." Tsume mourned.
