PART 11111: The End-Sonikku saves the day
Sonikku woke up in the morning looking pretty wasted like he had a five aclock shadow and purple under his eyes. He went to the closet and grabed a coat hanger an axe and his brown leather jacket and a pack of stickers, and a pistol and some parmesan just in case things didn't work. He had a job to do and a day to save.
Outside it was a warm sunny day with singing birds. Sonikku knew amiee was goin to the beach because he tapped her phone conection to listen to her 3 way with crem and rouge and cut a lock of her hair to sniff while she was sleeping. it was at the beach that he would strike.
Music was playing and amiee was slepping on her blankt on the sand, unknowing that Sonikku was going to give her a free discount store abortion and then kill her to death until she died from being dead.
"Say goodby amiee" Sonikku grumbled sadly and badassly. He got a coat hanger ready but she woke up and started screming at him so he shot her in the head to shut her up and was playing a claw machine game with the coat hanger until he won a prize. Only it wasn't a prize it was a fetus and once he was done he shot amiee in the heart to kill her and symbolize his own broken heart and lost love because it hurt him so much everything she had done. He would have to shed tears later though because something weird was happening to the fetsus.
The baby was morphing and changing and growing into a weird contorted monster ball of flesh like a silent hill boss and then became more normal and people like. It was a like a giant combo meal of Kanye West, Oj Simpson and Seth Macfarlane, Justin Beiber and Micheal Vick with devil horns wings and a upside down cross inside a pentagram on its forhead. "I AM SATAN" it said. "YOU KILLED MY MOM AND AWOKE ME FROM MY ETERNAL SLUMBER NOW YOU GOTTA DIE." "Never!" shouted back Sonikku.
Sonikku rushed forward with his ax but Oj Kanye Beiber MacVick summoned a pitbull that snapped the axe in half with its angry jaws. Sonikku was shoked but quikly pulled out his gon before the dog could start rapping music and shut the dog dead so it was bleed all over the floor. "MUH DOGGY" cried Satan. It tried to tell some shitty racist and sexist jokes with its Seth powrs but since this was modern day that was politically uncorrect and Sonikku got triggered and angry and tried to shot him a bunch while scolding him to respect peoples pronouns and stop being so ableist. Since Satan was part OJ simpson it washed away the bullets with orange juice and denied murdering its wife. Sonikku loved orange juice and drank some of it, causing Satan to go "D'OH!" in rage. Sonikku, thinking he was gonna win, shot more bullets but became frustrated when satan used his Kanye and Beiber powers to do sing a really shitty song that hurt Sonikku's ears so he would miss all his shots and get the weird urge to give his future children really stupid names while also disrespecting women and being a total douchebag.
CAN'T TOUCH THIS satan laughed.
"no ouch son of a bitch that burns!" Sonikku cried out in pain as satan threw a large hot fireball at him that was much worse than a bag of flaming hot cheetos, and that includes the lumps of seasoning that you sometimes get ouch.
Frustrated, Sonikku sat there wishing he had the burn cream that Katniss had and trying to figure out how he was gonna win this tough battle.
Then he remmbed that he had that bottle of grated parmesan in his pocket. While dodging satan's attacks he grabbed for the bottle and opened it. When he had a clear shot he shook the cheese, dousing the monster with cheesy goodness. Because he was made of fire and brimstone and the beach was hot that day it melted on his skin, bubbling and burning. "NO PARMESAN MY ONLY WEAKNESS BESIDES MCSONICALDS SECRET SAUCES!"
While satan was trying to scratch off the cheese his shout reminds Sonikku of the toothpick he still had in his coat that he got from McSonicald's when he went with amiee and battled KNUCKLES!. It had secret sauces from the big mac on it and Sonikku was amazed. He had a chance to use it now!
Sonikku jumped up like an anime character and slammed the toothpick into the upside cross in a pentagram on satan's head because he knew it was his weakness and he showed off his weakness so obviously Sonikku thought he was fighting a Zelda boss for a moment. Then Sonikku remembered how they fucked up the Majora's Mask remake and with extra anger shoved the toothpick in completely.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M DYING GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD CURSE YOU SONIKKU I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!1!" SATAN YELLED AS HE BURNED UP INTO A BLACK AND RED PORTAL and was gone. Sonikku landed n the ground, wiping sweat off his brow and letting out a sigh of relief.
The sun had started to set and sad background music was playing. Sonikku somberly walked over to amiee's dead body. He gazed down at her dead face, wiping a tear from his eye. He kneeled down over her a grabbed the pack of stickers from his pcket. Over her eyelids he put two pretty sexy winky girly eye stickers, and on her cheeks he placed a smiley face (left cheek) and a rainbow with a star (right cheek) stickers, both glittery. He put the pack away and grabbed a sharpie, writing some words. He leaving amiee once last glance before walking off into the sunset. Amiee's dead body lay on the sand, blood glistening in the sun, decorated with stickers and the words "nasty hoe" written on her forehead.
Sonikku had saved the day.