Well, it's been a while. Blame Major Depressive Disorder. I finally have an update though and I have to admit, it's pretty dramatic. I really turned up the teenage angst haha. I hope you guys like it. This chapter isn't as triggering as the last one but still a trigger warning for drug use and mild mentions of eating disorder, abuse and sh with no detailed description. If you didn't read the last one because of triggers all you need to know is that Nathan cut Haley out and fell in with the wrong crowd of partiers because Dan's abuse convinced him he wasn't good for her. Haley got depressed from parental pressure and losing his friendship and developed an ED and sh behavior. I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE it gets happier soon. Thank you to those sticking it out. Disclaimer: I dont own OTH.

Summer. It goes by in a blur. For Haley, it was quiet. The time passed and she didn't even notice. She wouldn't leave her room for days at a time. She only spoke to Lucas, Quinn and occasionally her mom. She just laid in bed. Haley had always loved reading, she'd loved writing, photography, bike riding, a lot of things. They were boring now. The TV was on a lot but Haley couldn't ever tell you what had been happening. She was dizzy and had a stomachache at all time. She was malnourished and weak. She hadn't heard from Nathan all summer and she cried over it often. Haley had gotten really close to him so quickly, she'd thought they meant something to each other. There was nothing left. It was just slow waiting until life got good.

For Nathan, it was chaotic. Fast and loud. Basketball during the day, drugs and parties at night. He'd turned 13 last week. He never thought his life would be this much of a mess so early. He didn't talk to Lucas or Haley anymore. He just talked to high schoolers and Tim. He didn't even like any of them. He didn't have to though, its not like he remembered much of his interactions with them anyway. He felt like absolute shit all the time. He was sore and hungover and bruised. God, the bruised were getting bad. No one even noticed the frequent black eyes and other marks. He hated Dan, he'd always been an awful father but he hadn't expected this. Ever since he made the high school team he couldn't handle the pressure. What was he going to do about it? His mom hadn't been home for more than 2 days at a time in months. Did she know? Would she care? Did he do it to her too?

It was a Saturday, around 11 pm. Nathan had deciding against drinking tonight. Oh, good. He was actually sober on a weekend. No. He was just high right now. Weed was a beautiful thing. Who had made it a controversial thing? It made Nathan feel like he was floating, he didn't feel the weight of the world. School started in a few weeks. He was aware of this. He didn't care. He didn't have the energy to care about anything anymore.

Nathan knew that he wasn't being a good kid. He wasn't a good boyfriend or friend in general. He wasn't a good student. He was a good basketball player but he wasn't the best sport or anything. It wasn't that he thought the way he was behaving would fix any of this, he just figured why not? What would it matter if he screwed up a little more. He thought about Haley and Lucas sometimes and he knew he'd rather be with them but he would have just dragged them down. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have plenty of distractions from those thoughts.

"Right, Nate?...Nate? You with us, junior?" Nathan looked up at Scott. The 16 year old had begun calling him junior because of Nathan's last name being his first name.

"Yeah, I'm here." Nathan replied.

"Alright, so what do you think we should do?"

"Knock over the liquor store." Nathan answered before his brain even had time to process the words. His face stayed emotionless and calm. Somewhere deep down he knew this was a subconscious cry for help. For someone to say he was going to far. For someone to stop him. No one did, they all laughed and applauded the idea. They all agreed to it. Literal thief.

Before Nathan knew it he was standing outside Tree Hill Spirits in all black. A rising senior named Sierra was next to him in a short, skintight dress. She was the distraction, she was going to flirt with the cashier as Nathan got in and out. She strutted in and Nathan waited a minute until he saw her lean over the counter, giving the no older than 28 year old employee a clear view of her boobs. He snuck in quietly, careful to not let the door make any noise, grabbed two bottle of Villa One Silver Tequila and rushing out of the door, this time letting it slam behind him. The cashier turned but Nathan was already out of sight.

"Huh, weird must have been wind." Sierra giggled. She put the bottle of Svedka she'd been holding on the counter and paused. "Aw damn, I forgot my wallet. Another time then." She flashed on last smiled at the guy before turning and walking out.

They returned to the party of everyone was talking about how awesome it was and then adrenaline rush Nathan must have felt. He hadn't but he guessed it had been fun. He twirled his phone I between his hands, staring down at it, trying to figure out what he needed in order to feel something. He thought about playing basketball on the River Court with Lucas while Haley sat on the bleachers, completely lost in a book.

He got up abruptly and walked swiftly into one of the many bathrooms of the huge house he was in. He clicked on Lucas' contact. It rang for a while and he wasn't sure if Lucas was going to answer. He knew he'd be pissed at him for being a jerk and ignoring Haley at the start of summer. He didn't even know why he called.

"What do you want, Nathan?" Oh. He answered. His voice was cold. They hadn't even ever gotten close, they'd never gone deeper than basketball. Nathan was just wishing he had family right now. Family that was present and not abusive. But he didn't have that.

"Nevermind…" Nathan mumbled, moving the phone away from his ear. Stop trying to pretend your life doesn't suck, asshole. You did this to yourself. His mind scolded itself. Before he could hang up he heard Lucas' voice once again.

"Nathan, don't call her. You've hurt her enough, don't do it again." The line went dead and cold rushed through Nathan. He assumed Haley was been hurt by his actions but knowing it to be fact hit him hard. He'd known her for 6 months, she shouldn't even matter to him. The bathroom felt small. The whole house felt small. The high he'd been on was gone along with its numbing power. The hurt and sorrow set in. He had to get out of here.

Nathan ran out of the house without a goodbye to anyone. They wouldn't ask, they didn't care. Even if they did they were too plastered to even know or remember if he was there or not by tomorrow. That was the beauty of it all. He could do whatever he wants and he wasn't alone but the people weren't true friends. True friends try to stop you and help you make good decisions. These guys just joined in on the dumb shit.

Before he'd even realized it, he was at his house. He stared at it in all its gloomy glory. It was grand looking, designed well. Looking like the home of a happy stable family. People who looked at it didn't see the evil here. They didn't seem the trauma radiating off the walls. He turned around, walking to a bridge he'd been spending a free time at. He just sat and watched the water. He wasn't going home tonight.

…..

"Haley, come here!" Quinn yelled. She'd been trying to spend more time with Haley recently since she was leaving for college in a matter of days. Haley truly didn't know if she could handle that. Quinn was her rock and she couldn't lose that right now but she was doing her best to not let it show. She looked in the mirror, she was wearing dark denim shorts with a salmon tank top and a long, black knit cardigan. It was warm enough to help her constant chill but cool enough that it didn't arouse too many questions. It also hid her arm pretty well. Her hair was in a neat high ponytail.

"Coming, Quinn!" She replied, feeling a genuine smile cross her face. She felt good today. She'd been hanging out with Lucas a little more recently. She'd been spending more time with Quinn. He parents had recently realized they couldn't provide her the mental help she needed and gotten her a therapist. She'd only had two sessions so far and she was far from better but she was starting to get her hope back. She was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, she deserved better than what she had been doing to herself. She usually felt the worst at nights. After dinner. Her parents had learned tips from the doctor about getting Haley to eat more. The issue was no one seemed to understand that it wasn't all about her weight. Sure, she liked being thin and didn't want to gain but it was about the control. Her life had been spiraling and she had been able to completely control this one thing. That was hard to let go of.

Haley bounced down the steps and was met by her sister's impatient stare. "What do you need, Quinny?" Haley smiled, suppressing a laugh. Her sister's gorgeous features usually made her look older than she was, not to mention her mature nature, but when she wanted something she looked like a 5 year old begging their parents.

"Want to go on my last Tree Hill photoshoot with me?" Haley could feel her depression screaming in her head, No. Don't do any of it. It's all so pointless, just give up. No matter how hard she was working, those voices wouldn't stop. The therapist said to give it time, to drown them out with the good and that one day they wouldn't feel so heavy. Haley wasn't sure she believed that but it was worth a shot.

"Sure, I'd love to." She smiled.

A few hours later, they were sitting on the beach. Haley's canvas sneakers were soaked from walking to close to the water, Quinn had stayed far from the ocean as per usual. Quinn was looking through the pictures she'd taken, Haley was just watching the waves crash. It was comfortably quiet for a while. The occasional sounds of children or birds mixing with the noise of the water. The two sister's just enjoying each other's company. After a while, Quinn turned to Haley.

"Are you going to be okay when I leave?" Probably not.

"Of course. Why'd you ask?" Haley feigned confusion.

"Because I don't want to come back to you still hiding how bad you're doing behind baggy clothes and sweaters. I don't want to hear you crying at 2 am when you think everyone is asleep. I want you to be you again and to see the genuine excitement for life light up your eyes again. Most of all I want you to believe you deserve all that." Quinn's words were choked up by the tears at bay in her hazelnut eyes. Haley hadn't done as good holding her tears back, as they ran done her cheeks. Crying had been so often for her recently she barely even noticed anymore and could do little to stop it.

"I'm trying, Quinn, okay? I am. I can't explain it and I don't know why but this is the hardest thing I have ever done and all I can do right now is this. I'm sorry that you're worried, I never wanted you to worry. Please enjoy college, I'll be okay." Her words sounded more broken than she wanted, it wasn't very convincing but Quinn just nodded and pulled Haley into a hug.

…

It was 11 pm. Haley's parents were gone, they'd taken Quinn to college. Haley had decided to stay home. She knew it made Quinn sad and she felt bad but she couldn't handle it all. She was laying on top of her bed, still dressed from the day, staring at the ceiling. She was alone. Taylor had stayed too and had been supposed keep Haley company but had left for a party about an hour ago. She'd been "considerate enough" to ask Haley first but they'd both known Taylor would have been a bitch all night if she had to stay.

Just then there was a thud against the window. Haley shot up, confused. She looked out the window to see no other than Nathan Scott standing, well stumbling, in her driveway. He was hard to see with the dark and distance but she felt as though she could already smell the alcohol. No way that boy was sober.

Haley was about to open up the window when another small rock hit it. She sighed and turned to walk downstairs, not wanting to risk getting nailed in the head. In a matter of seconds, she swung the front door open. "What are you doing here, Nathan?"

"Hales," He slurred, gesturing towards her. "Did you know you're perfect? How do you do that?" Haley was taken back. What was she supposed to say to that? What did he want?

"I know you're pissed at me." Oh, apparently she wasn't needed for this conversation. "I would have just fucked you up, you know? God, what did you expect from me? I can't be your idea of a good friend. I can't be reliable and nice and comforting. I thought I could, okay?" Was this his idea of an apology? He was getting increasingly upset.

"Nathan, save it." Haley surprised herself. She had waited all summer for him to come around but seeing him here, acting like this, she realized how mad she was. "I don't want your excuses or apologizes. You were a dick and you know it. I thought we became friends. You were open with me and I was open back, that meant something. But then I needed you and you weren't there. Don't try now."

The look on his face said he wouldn't remember much of this, if any. But it was worth saying. It felt good to say. "Haley…" A flash of sober fell upon his face. Like the words sunk in. Everything sunk in. He was sinking.

"Go home." Haley whispered weakly, she could feel her confidence wavering and the drunken idiot transformed into a broken looking friend of hers.

Nathan shook his head gently. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't! Okay?" Nathan's walls shot up, his voice dripping in fear and hurt that he had attempted to transform into anger. It kind of worked. He was angry. Angry at his dad. His mom. His "friends". Most of all, himself.

Haley sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. She couldn't leave him out here. Something was up and she wasn't that kind of person. She was still fuming, she didn't have an explanation for his actions and she didn't know if there was one that she wanted to hear, but she cared about him. "Get in here."

Nathan approached her with his head down. His hands were now tucked into his pockets. He was ashamed of showing up here but maybe this was the only way he'd have the courage to do it. She held the door open and he walked past her, muttering a barely audible thank you. He walked to her living room and stood there awkwardly, glancing around occasionally. Haley locked the door and followed after him. She looked at him for a second before going over to the closet and grabbing an extra blanket and pillow.

"Here. You can sleep on the couch." She said, handing him the two objects.

"Haley, I want to talk to you." Nathan stated, finally making eye contact. Haley then realized the bruise on his right temple, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the glassed over appearance of them. He looked a lot more muscular than last time she'd seen him but at the same time so weak.

"Not right now. Get some sleep." Haley sent him small, sad smile before heading upstairs.

…

Nathan woke up to the sound of a TV. He could feel the light in the room without even opening his eyes. His head was pounding, why did he keep doing this? Without even meaning to, he let out a low groan, bringing his hand to his face.

"I have some Advil for you," Haley's voice came softly. She knew Nathan had to be severely hungover and probably felt like shit. Nathan put his hand out without a word. He didn't even want to hear his own voice. Haley handed him the pills and was about to give him a glass of water as she watched him swallow them dry. Okay then.

"Give me like 10 minutes, then I really want to talk." Nathan spoke softly, his voice filled with sleepy gravel. Haley nodded, though he couldn't see her. Almost exactly 10 minutes later, Nathan opened his eyes and slowly sat up. "I, uh, thank you…for letting me stay."

"Well, I wouldn't leave anyone out on the lawn." Haley dismissed. Nathan winced at the empty and cold nature of her words. He hadn't expected anything else but of course he'd wished it would be better.

"Yeah, right. You're good like tha-"

"Get to the point, Nathan." She was annoyed and she sounded it but most of all, Haley was curious. Anxious and intrigued in what he could have possibly showed up at her house to say to her. She'd thought about it all night.

"Haley, I know that you're mad at me." Haley rolled her eyes, Understatement of the year. "I get it, I would be too. I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much, ok, but I am. You are a great friend and an even better person and I wasn't-I'm not good for you. But I want to be better and you saw the possibility of that in me." Nathan paused, looking at Haley to gauge her reaction. Her face was blank for a second and then changed.

"Aren't good for me? Really? You're going to have to give me more than that. I needed you, Nathan! I know we hadn't been friends long but I counted on you and I needed that! You just left me, no explanation. It hurt, it really did, I was at the lowest point of my life and my friend abandoned me. What reason could you possibly have for that?" Her voice rose steadily, shaking slightly at the end.

"Because I'm a screw up, okay? You think I don't know that? My mom is never around, my dad is a complete monster, I can't keep any good friends. I know that it has to be me! I mean come on, Haley, I just turned 13 and I woke up hungover on the couch of someone who hates me!" Nathan couldn't help but yell. Haley's heart broke. She didn't realize that maybe he was struggling with feeling the same way about himself that she felt about herself. It doesn't mean he should have done what he did, but it made sense.

"I don't hate you. I was just mad. You should have handled it better, but I get it. I feel that way too but you aren't a screw up. We are 13, our futures aren't set yet, we still have time to become the people we want to be and maybe…maybe we can help each other get there." Relief washed through Nathan. She was going to give him a second chance. He knew he'd still have to earn back her trust though.

"Thanks, Hales. That means a lot." Haley smiled at him, nodding gently. Their friendship was far from repaired but she was willing to work on it. "You, uh, you said you were at the lowest point of your life?"

"I…don't want to talk about it right now. How's Theresa?"

Yeah, she doesn't trust me at all. Nathan thought sadly. "I don't know. We broke up a few weeks ago."

"Oh, sorry." Haley was so glad she wouldn't have to deal with that bitch anymore but if Nathan was upset she didn't want to be happy about that.

"It's okay. She was a bitch, especially to you. Sorry I didn't notice."

"It's fine, a lot of boys are fooled by pretty." Haley joked lightly.

"Doesn't make it right." Nathan muttered. Haley just nodded. They spent the next hour or so talking, neither of them got to deep. They weren't there yet and they both knew it but it was a start.

Okay, I didn't really edit because these chapters are kinda hard for me to read so hopefully there weren't many typos. I'm sure you guys can figure it out. Hopefully I can update again soon :)