A/N: Collab my gf, Nico C-137, whose lines are underlined.
Disclaimer: We do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy.

Drugs were the new jawbreakers, and the Eds had become dealers.

Eddy, with his gold chains, and ring on every finger, was the kingpin.

Double D grew weed in his homemade hydroponic system.

Big Ed was the one who they kept around because they were in a triple gay relationship.

Jonny and Plank were their best customers.

They bought weed every single day, and it was not a small amount. That's not even counting all the shrooms.

Jonny always blamed Plank when the drugs ran dry.

When this happened plank would just stare.

The Kankers also bought weed from the Eds, but they would always try to molest them, and the Eds were like, "No, we're gay together."

That never stopped the Kankers, though. They would still feel the Eds up at every chance they got.

They said the were into gay men.

So, one day, the Eds decided to use Big Ed's basement window as a drive threw, so the Kankers couldn't reach them to molest.

However, Ed and Eddy discovered that Double D had had a foursome with the Kankers.

Eddy felt betrayed by Double D, and Ed was just mad because he wasn't invited.

Eddy had revenge sex with Plank, and Jonny was mad because Plank cheated on him.

Eddy wished he hadn't done that, because, the next day, his dick had so many splinters.

Plank was also pregnant, and Eddy and Jonny were like, "You're a chick?!

Then, Double D found out, and also felt betrayed, and Ed was still mad because he wasn't invited.

By the end of the week, Plank was as round as a log.

Eddy was like, "How does this even work?"

Eventually, Plank sprouted a new branch that looked just like a wooden Eddy.

So, Jonny said, "You gotta take responsibly, man;" and Eddy said, "It looks nothing like me."

Eddy said it must be Jonny's.

Jonny said, "I use a condom, every time." What he didn't say, was that it breaks every time.

Eddy wished he'd never had sex with Plank. He looked board the hole time, anyway.

Then, Double D burst through Jonny's wall, using Big Ed's head, saying he got all the Kankers pregnant.

Double D asked if they were even, now, and Eddy said that they weren't, because Double D got three people pregnant.

In the end, Jonny decided to help Plank take care of the baby, and Eddy paid child support for the rest of his life, saying it was a scam.

The end