Written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)
Assignment #9 - Care of Magical Creatures (Top Five Dragons)
Task #5 - Hungarian Horntail: Write about something powerful and lethal.
Warnings: child abuse, mentions incest, twisted family dynamics, major character death, pregnancy & birth
Further prompts are at the end.
Word Count: 2,649
"Do you know what love is?"
Merope nods eagerly at the question, excited that, for once, Momma's having a Serious Talk with her and not Morfin. "It's…" she scrunches her nose, deep in thought, "when you care about someone very, very much, right?"
"Mmm," Momma hums, running a hand through Merope's hair, and Merope beams, opening her mouth to crow just as Momma adds, "So do you think Daddy and I love each other?"
Merope almost answers yes - they're her Momma and Daddy, of course they love each other! - but something about Momma's face makes her pause. Momma and Daddy do love each other, right? Even though… even though they don't exactly act like the Mommas and Daddies she reads about in the stories Momma lets her read, secretly, when Daddy and Morfin aren't at home. Even though they yell a lot, and sometimes both Momma and Daddy ends up with bad boo-boos, and sometimes there're cracks in the things in the other rooms that you can see because they've been Reparo'd too much, and sometimes…
"Do you?" she asks instead.
"Very good, Merope," Momma murmurs, still stroking Merope's hair. "Tell me, what does Daddy care about?"
Well, that's easy. "Magic," Merope says confidently. Momma nods encouragingly, but she's still waiting for something, so Merope adds, "Blood." Another nod. "Um… Power?"
"Exactly. Good girl. So do you know why Daddy cares about me?" Merope frowns, shaking her head slowly, and slumps as Momma draws her hand away, stopping herself from reaching towards Momma's touch again because she knows that'll just make her angry. "No?" Merope winces, but shakes her head. "Let's talk about blood, then. What does having pure blood mean?"
"That there's no filth in your blood, that your Momma and Daddy aren't Muggles?"
"Mmm-hmm," Momma agrees, reaching out to cup a hand around Merope's cheek. "But you have to have a Momma and a Daddy to have a baby, right? So what can I give your Daddy?"
Merope's eyes light up as she realizes what Momma's trying to say. "Pure babies, like me and Morfin!"
"Exactly," Momma praises, wrapping a warm arm around Merope, now. "Pure, magical babies, right?" Merope nods frantically. "So I can give Daddy good magic and good blood, and therefore power."
"So he loves you!" Merope exclaims, smiling because, of course, there's a happy ending, but Momma's frowning, pulling away with a slight shake of her head. "He doesn't?"
"He loves what I can give him," Momma corrects. "That's not the same as loving me, is it?" Merope shakes her head quickly. "But if I can give him what he loves, I can also take it away, can't I?" Frowning slightly, Merope nods slowly. "So I can control whether he gets the things he loves. So because I know what he loves, I can control him, can't I?"
"So love can control people?" Merope asks, still frowning. "That doesn't sound like the love in the stories."
"It doesn't," Momma agrees, "but remember what I told you, when I got you the stories? Not all of them, but most-"
"…Are for sheep!" Merope exclaims, as she remembers what Momma said.
"Exactly. They're for the people who'll read them and believe them blindly. But you're smarter than that, aren't you?" Merope nods, beaming that Momma thinks she's smart. "And yes, you're exactly right. Love is a powerful motivator; love can be used to control people, to make them do what you want. It can be deadly - remember The Warlock's Hairy Heart?" Merope winces at the tale that's always terrified her, but nods. "It can start wars - remember what I told you about The Gift Horse?" Merope nods again. "But most of all, everyone loves something, and if you know that, you can use it."
Merope startles as she realizes why what Momma's saying sounds so familiar. "So it's like magic!"
Momma's smile is sharp and kind of scary as she says, "Exactly," but Merope doesn't care, because the smile's for her, Momma's proud of her. "And what is magic?"
It takes Merope less than a second to answer, as everything Momma's been trying to tell her comes together. "A tool," she breathes.
-oOo-
This is what Merope Gaunt knows about love: that it is a tool. That it is one of the most powerful forces in the world, if you can harness it right. That it is not what Daddy or Morfin feel for her.
That Momma loves her. (Right?)
-oOo-
"I'm so disappointed in you, Merope."
Cheeks flushing in shame, Merope hunches in further on herself, not meeting Momma's eyes as she seems to tower above Merope. "I'm sorry?"
"You should be," Momma says softly. "I expected better of you. I thought…" She sighs deeply without finishing the thought. "Perhaps Daddy is right about you, Merope." What-? "He likes - loves - Morfin better, you know." Merope flinches. "But I thought… maybe he was wrong about you. I thought you might prove yourself, given time. I guess I was wrong…"
"I'll be better," Merope whispers. "Please, Momma, I'll try harder, I'll learn more, I'll-!" She can feel the tears begin to pool in her eyes, and blinks hard to try and make them go away, because Morfin isn't a crybaby.
"Shhh," Momma soothes, as she kneels down and finally, finally, brings her arms around Merope, holding her close. "Very good, my dear. But don't just try. Be better. You know I'm rooting for you, but you know Daddy's for Morfin, and if you don't beat him…"
"I'll be better," Merope repeats. "I promise, Momma."
"Good."
-oOo-
Momma dies by the time Merope's eight, which is three years before she's the ultimate disappointment, because though an owl flies in with a fancy-looking envelope for Morfin, the summer after Merope turns eleven, there's no letter from Hogwarts for Merope.
"Disgusting little Squib," Daddy snarls at her. "No wonder your mother died - didn't have to want to deal with you." It's obvious that, like Momma used to say, Daddy prefers Morfin so much more than Merope, and now that Momma's gone and not promoting Merope over Morfin, Daddy seems almost… happier. More satisfied. More content.
It makes Merope wonder why Momma was so determined to fight Daddy through Merope and Morfin, before. She's fourteen when she starts to really think about what Momma was to her, but more importantly about what she was to Momma. Love can be used to control people, to make them do what you want - Momma was practically spelling it out for her! She just was always too blind by her love.
(But she still loves Momma. Momma was too good - Merope can't not.)
This is what Merope wishes: that the storybook love is real. That someday, someone will love her without caring about what she can give them. That they'll find her, and they'll save her, and they'll live happily ever after.
When she's sixteen, Merope thinks that that someone might be Tom Riddle.
-oOo-
"Don't look at it, Cecilia, darling," Tom says, and for a moment, Merope lets herself imagine that he's saying it to her, that he's calling her darling, that he's taking care of her feelings, because no one's cared about how she feels since Momma died, or even before that.
But them Morfin ruins it, hissing cruelly, "'Darling.' 'Darling,' he called her. So he wouldn't have you anyway." And Merope freezes, because he-knows-he-knows-he-knows and-
"What's that?" Daddy asks sharply. "What did you say, Morfin?"
Merope's begging, internally, for Morfin to stop talking now, but Momma and Daddy didn't set them against each other for nothing, and he continues, "Hanging out of the window waiting for him to ride home, wasn't she?"
"Hanging out of the window to look at a Muggle?" Daddy repeats, voice low and dangerous. "Is it true? My daughter - pure-blooded descendant of Salazar Slytherin - hankering after a filthy, dirt-veined Muggle?"
And normally, Merope would talk back, argue that Morfin's lying, threaten some secret of his in turn, but today's not just any normal day, as her eyes flicker to the Ministry wizard, who's already tried to help her once today. He loves the thought that he's helping others, as Momma would say, so instead of arguing, Merope flinches back, trying to make herself even smaller as her back hits the wall.
"But I got him, Father!" Morfin cackles gleefully. "I got him as he went by and he didn't look so pretty with hives all over him, did he, Merope?"
Merope can see the moment Daddy cracks, and braces herself as he lunges, screaming, "You disgusting little Squib, you filthy little blood traitor!"
And she's chocking, Daddy's hands throttling her for the shortest of moments as the Ministry wizard shouts, "No!" and cries some sort of spell, forcing Daddy away from her. Morfin bellows in anger, leaping out of his chair and brandishing both knife and wand at the Ministry wizard, who runs. And Merope-
When it's clear that they've no chance of getting back on the Ministry wizard, Daddy and Morfin turn back towards Merope, murder in their eyes.
"YOU-!" Daddy screams, but this time Merope interrupts him, sidestepping as he lunges again. "I'll kill-!"
"You would kill one of the last of Salazar Slytherin's line, Daddy?" she hisses. "Whatever happened to preserving the bloodline?"
"You happened!" Daddy growls. "Disgusting little Squib, I don't need you when there's Morfin!"
Her brother grins gleefully at the statement, but Merope's already responding; though the very thought makes her sick, she knows what Daddy was planning. "But is there anyone left as pure as him to have his children?"
"You-!"
"None of us left, is there, except Morfin and I? So go ahead, kill me. Just know you'll be responsible for the end of Slytherin's line."
She stalls them for just long enough for the Ministry wizard to come back with a squad of reinforcements, and then they're taking Daddy and Morfin away and… Merope's free.
-oOo-
This is what Merope does: brews a love potion, Amortentia, with the magic she does have. Slips that potion into the handsome, powerful, rich Muggle Tom Riddle's drink. And waits.
He runs away to marry her within the week.
But it doesn't last - it can't. Because love potions can only key to one person at a time, and suddenly she's pregnant, and Daddy never loved her but this child, this unborn baby within her, deserves to have a father who loves them. Even if love is just a tool. And she's always thought that Tom belongs more in one of her childhood stories than in real life, and love is always unconditional and pure in those, so maybe… If he loves their child, can't she use that like Momma would?
She miscalculates. Tom Riddle cares not for her, nor for their unborn child. He leaves, cursing at her all the while, the moment she lets the love potion drain from his system, and Merope is left… alone.
Only, she's not alone. She has this child within her, this Tom Marvolo Riddle if it's a boy - named after Daddy and tom to spite them both -, this Pleione Amata Riddle if it's a girl - named after Momma and her favorite Beedle character. And maybe… she didn't mean to become pregnant, but maybe this child will be the one she's been looking for, all of her life, the one who will love her unconditionally and completely. Unlike Daddy and Morfin, who never did. Unlike Momma, who Merope will always love but who only 'loved' her to spite Daddy. Unlike Tom, who she had to bewitch into loving her.
Except.
-oOo-
The contractions come at the worst of times.
Merope's been counting the days, and she doesn't know much about pregnancy outside of what she's read in the Muggle public libraries, but she's fairly certain the baby's coming early. But not only is she unprepared, but she's also sick, and it has to be with some kind of magical disease because her skin's got a slight green tinge and she's sneezing sparks. She hasn't dared go out in public from the shelter under the bridge she's made because of the green skin, but she has to do something now, because she's about to give birth.
It almost feels like fate, when she stumbles out into the street and sees the iron gate and words, Wool's Orphanage. The people there - they've got to know what to do, right?
It takes all of Merope's energy to knock loudly on the inner doors, and she's terrified that no one will hear her for a long moment, before there's the sound of locks clinking and the door is pulled inwards.
"Hello- Oh! Miss, are you alright?" someone whose features Merope can't make out exclaims. "Oh my goodness, come in, come in! And pregnant, too! Come, come!"
The woman lets Merope lean heavily on her as she leads the way to a brightly lit room, showing her to a bed for Merope to collapse on, as the contractions start again. It seems to take forever for the baby - her child - to come out, but the orphanage woman says something about it being less than an hour, as she takes the baby in her arms with practiced ease.
"Congratulations, dear. It's a boy," the woman says, her loud voice painful to Merope's ears. "What'll you name him?"
"T-Tom," Merope replies weakly, "after his f-father. M-Marvolo, after m-my father."
The woman waits a long moment, but when Merope says nothing more, asks, "And the surname?"
"R-Riddle," Merope breathes. She wants to hold her child, wants to hold Tom, but she doubts she has the energy for it, and she'll have plenty of time for it later, anyway. The thought brings a smile to her lips, too, because she's done it. She's had her baby, and he will love her more than anyone in the world has, because he will be hers, like no one else has ever been. She'll teach him the useful of what Momma and Daddy, back before he realized she was a Squib, taught her, and it won't matter to her or to him whether they have magic or not. And she's so lost in her thoughts that she almost misses what the woman says next.
But- "We'll take good care of Tom, dear, don't worry."
What does this woman mean? Take good care of Tom - that's what Merope will do! She doesn't need anyone else's help, doesn't want anyone else who'll divide her Tom's love and attention.
Is this woman trying to take Tom away from her?
Merope tries to rise, but the woman's placing a firm hand on her chest, Tom shifted to one arm, as soon as Merope moves. The woman shushes her, before glancing down at Tom, her eyes seeming to light in understanding.
"Here," the woman says gently, holding Tom out towards Merope. "Shh, it's alright, at least you'll get to hold him once."
Hold him… once? Suddenly, it dawns on Merope - does this woman think she's going to die? But Merope isn't! She's just sick, she's not going to die, not going to leave Tom before she can even know him!
Merope reaches to take Tom, but her arms collapse before they can raise, and for whatever reason the world starts to spin around her. She blinks furiously to try and stay the weariness as the woman sets Tom on her chest, but the cloudy, stuffy feeling at her head doesn't go away, and Merope finds herself shivering, cold in a way she could've sworn she hadn't been, minutes ago.
Could… Could the woman be right? Is Merope… dying?
She can feel the tears beginning to slide down her cheeks. She… she won't even get to be what Momma was to her, will she?
Autumn Seasonal Challenges
Days of the Year & Religious Events: 27th October - National Tell a Story Day: Write about a parent telling their child a story
National Pizza Month: Avocado: Unrequited Love
Pet Peeves Week: Cracking knuckles - write about an irritating sound
Chemistry Week: Uranium: Unhealthy
Games and Puzzles Week: Trait: Competitive
United Nations Day: Lesotho - (potion) Amortentia
Princess Day: Vanellope - Write about someone who is treated as an outcast
Locations: Wool's Orphanage
Crystals & Gemstones: Black Jasper: Write about someone forgiving themself for a past mistake
Writing Club: November
Character Appreciation: Tenth Doctor - Write about someone who doesn't like being alone
Record Collection: Coming Back With Winter: (word) breathless
Time Machine: Emotion: Fear
Book Club: William Bradshaw: (action) frowning,(trait) deceptive, (action) sighing
Showtime: My Man: (relationship) married couple
Amber's Attic: My dad. I lost him this year, but he was the best man I ever knew: (relationship) father and child (bonus)
Elizabeth's Empire: Muffins that taste like doughnuts: (trait) deceptive
Liza's Loves: Spreading Spores - Write about something deadly
Bex's Basement: Jungle Escape: Write about escaping from something
Angel's Archive: (pairing) MaryAntonin alt. (trope) unplanned pregnancy
Scamander's Case: (plot point) receiving a warning
Film Festival: (emotion) love
Marvel Appreciation: C - Canon (write something canon compliant)
Lyric Alley: Cause your next ex lover will discover how your mother f***ed you up
TV Spree: Write about trying to fulfil someone else's expectations
The Forecast Says… 15th. Rain: Kissing someone's cheek
EnTitled: The One with All the Kissing - Write about a secret relationship
Honeydukes Hoard: Hard Candy - Modest
All Aboard: Blue Train - Loneliness
Folding Fun: Paper - Plain White: (word) pure
Scorpios Appreciation: Prompt: Write about doing something against someone's wishes.
Talent Show: Rollerblading - Trope: Unrequited Love, Word: Trust