The Longing of the Heart

by otherrealmwriter

Set in the early 1900s, Alfred F Jones is a coworker of Ivan Braginsky in a firm in the New York City area who has just married his little sister Natalya. But how deep is their love and who does everyone really love? AmeBel and slight unrequited RusAme Told as a series of journal entries over the years of 1914-1919

40. Natalya's Journal 11

I don't own Hetalia okay? I know I skipped a bit of time on this section but it's building to the big drama coming up. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

April 7th 1917

(from the diary of Natalya Jones nee Arlovskaya)

I can never, ever, ever in my life recall being so mad at big brother in my life. I would have made sure Fredka stayed here. He created my children, he is not going to get out of helping me to raise them and provide for them by dying in a war. Vanya did not need to pull some honor bullshit and say he's going so Fredka doesn't have to. I get that Katyusha can be a pain to be around sometimes, but this isn't the answer. As Fredka's closest friend, I know he knows what his brother is going through right now. What makes him think that he would be any different? He did tell me that if we were still in Russia, there would be civil war we'd have to survive too and I told him that we did not come so far to have this happen. He broke Fredka's heart. I have never seen that man cry before in my life, but when Vanya first told us, he first argued against it, then he broke. Which filled me with a rage I never had before. So much that I struck him. He deserved that black eye.

So then he goes and tries to talk Fredka and said something about looking after Katyusha, and how it is a family duty to look out for each other and then he said something insane that actually made me furious at my husband as well. That if Fredka went instead of big brother, and he were to die in this war, which is highly likely in case Vanya is foolish enough to think otherwise, that I had Vanya to help me. So I told Fredka if he did the same as big brother, the army would get a corpse. I am not going to lose both my brother and my husband due to this. That seemed to get some sense into his mind. The papers were already signed so I couldn't threaten big brother the same, but I cannot lose him, I cannot lose Fredka. I just hope this didn't cause an issue with the unborn child within me as well. I just cannot.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? (for a journal entry) let me know in a review. I don't have much else to say on the note to this one, so remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.