AN: THERE IS M RATED CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER. So if you're not into reading about the freaky deaky stuff I suggest you just read the beginning and very end of this chapter, lmao. Oh, and thank you for all your kind reviews! I'll try to incorporate some answers to your questions in future chapters. Next chapter will answer some pretty big questions a lot of you seem to be having. like I said, I often write two chapters at a time, thus not being able to clarify what y'all need.

Olivia's POV

"Do you like your new room, sweetheart?" I ask Savannah, taking her dinner plate to the sink. I grab a box from the side of the kitchen island and take out out a bottle of dish soap that I packed from the Potomac house. Under the bottle I see the unsigned divorce papers. Damn, I really have to sign those. I put them on top of the box and put the box next to the fridge to remember to sign them later tonight. I don't want Fitz coming across them and getting the wrong idea, thus getting hurt again.

The new townhouse, although beautiful, is nowhere near as fancy at the Blair House. Even though it's a townhouse, though, it's still the nicest one I have ever seen. It's got three huge floors and a backyard that could be mistaken for a small farm. It's pretty much empty at the moment but they moved in less than a month ago, so it's understandable.

Savannah has, as expected, taken the move so well. She never really said goodbye to our old house in the Potomac but I have come to learn she didn't need to. She was so happy moving into her new room here. She misses school but overall, she's having a good time and after all the crap she's been through, she deserves it.

I could say the same for Fitz. He deserves it. He deserves everything. Today started off great but I was so pissed off hearing about how he blew it with the senate. It's just that he has been through so much and he is such a good guy but the world is never gonna give him a break. It really sucks. I see his potential. I see how smart he is, how passionate, how determined. He deserves it. More than anybody, he deserves it. And I know he would chose his family over that but I wish Savannah and I being here didn't affect his chance to make his career right.

"I love my room, Mommy," Savannah shrieks from the table.

I smile to myself. I knew she would.

Fitz comes up behind me, holding his and Karen's empty dishes. He stands in front of me, my back against the sink. He leans in for a kiss and I give it to him, warranting shrieks of disgust from Savannah and Karen.

I laugh, looking over at them. They're grinning but have that grossed out look over their eyes. Karen leans over and covers Anna's eyes. "Don't look, Savannah. Dad's being gross."

Fitz laughs too before turning back to me, his expression becoming a little more serious. He lowers his voice. "I need to tell Karen. I just don't want her to be disappointed in me."

I cup my hands around the sides of Fitz's face. "She loves you, babe. We all do. No matter what. We're proud of you either way. Now she gets to spend more time with her Daddy. How could she ever be disappointed in that?"

He swallows and nods but he still looks hesitant. I lean in and kiss his cheek softly. "Do you want me to take Savannah and give you two some privacy?"

"No," Fitz whispers. "I need you here for this."

I take the plates from his hands and put them in the sink before wrapping my hand in his own. "I'm right here."

We go and sit back at the table. Savannah and Karen instantly realize that something's not right. How could they not? They're smart girls. Karen stiffins up and shifts in her seat. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing is wrong," Fitz assures her. He gives me a nervous glance and I squeeze his hand under the table. He reluctantly looks back at Karen. "About the job interview I had today..."

"Did you get it?" Karen interrupts, smiling. "I know I said I didn't want you to, Daddy, but I really do now. I'm happy for you. It's cool. Congratulations."

She looks genuinely happy. And I know Fitz wanted it. Even if he denies it, he worked hard for it. He sacrificed for it. And it was all for nothing. He wanted it. He wanted it so much. And in the end, it didn't matter.

He looks up and his daughter and puts together a brave, sad smile. "Thank you, sweetheart. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. But I'm not going to get the job."

Karen's face falls. "W...why?"

Fitz swallows and looks at me. I quickly jump in. "The senate didn't think your Daddy would be a good fit, Karen."

"That's stupid," Karen scoffs, rolling her eyes. I can see this is really bothering her. She wanted it too. She wanted it for him, just as much as we all did. "The senate is stupid."

Maybe I should correct her, tell her to be respectful, but all I can do is roll my eyes as well. "They're really stupid."

"They're not stupid," Fitz laughs softly. With his free hand, he leans over and puts it on top of Karen's, then Savannah's, who's really confused. "The United States senate is not stupid. It just didn't work out. It's okay, though. It's all gonna be okay."

"You don't have a job," Karen is close to crying now. "How is that gonna be okay?"

"You don't need to worry about that," Fitz assures her, but she's already standing up. "Karen, please. You don't need to worry about anything, sweetheart."

But Karen is out the door, Savannah following her. Fitz sighs and squeezes my hand. "Livvy...what am I gonna do? Tell me what to do? I can never get it right with her."

"Hey," I scoot my chair over so I am closer to him. I touch his arm. "It's okay. She needs time. Just give her time, okay? It's okay. Everything is gonna be okay."

X

"Can I come in?" I ask softly, already in the master bedroom.

Fitz is on his mattress, clad in a dark blue Henley and matching pajama pants. He's on the phone somebody but he smiles when he sees me come in and whispers 'goodbye' into the receiver before hanging it up.

"It's midnight," I whisper, not waiting for an answer. I turn off the lights and sit on the edge of the mattress. He sits up and puts his phone on top of an unopened box next to him, crossing his arms. "Fitz, you should be asleep."

"How's Karen and Savannah?" Fitz asks, just as quietly.

"I just got back from their respective rooms and finally got them down. They seem fine," I lie. Fuck, I gotta stop it with that - the lying. It just comes so habitually now, from all the distrust with Jake. The thing is that I don't want Fitz to have to worry about anything at this point, including the fact that Karen just spent the last three hours crying into her pillow.

I don't think she was concerned about money or status. I think she's just realizing all the crap and stress she put her dad through and she doesn't want him to hurt anymore. She knew this job was important to him and she was heartbroken to hear that it didn't go his way. She really is a sensitive, sweet girl. I tried to comfort her, to tell her that the best thing she could do was try to be there for Fitz and go easy on him. But I did just that -try. I can't tell her how to feel.

I guess I didn't lie completely - Karen did fall asleep. But she was crying right up until she did. I tried but there was nothing I could say to make her feel better. She's a strong girl though. If I was really concerned about her reaction to this, I would tell Fitz. But she's really strong and she'll get over this. Being emotional doesn't make her weak.

"I'm glad," I can see Fitz nod through the moonlight. "You wanna know who I was on the phone with? You'll never guess."

The "Who?" I smile, since he does too.

"Evan," Fitz replies. "He's this guy I was in prison with five years ago. He's still in there."

I scoot over and sit down I'm right next to him. He puts his arm around me and I grin. "Look at you, all badass, talking to felons and such."

Fitz laughs and leans down to kiss my cheek. "Did you just come in here to make fun of me? Or did you actually decide to swallow your pride and admit you wanna sleep with me?"

I sigh and lean my head against his chest. Even though technically we're together, Fitz and I Aren't sleeping together. Even last night, I just came into his room and we made out for a while but that was it. It's not that I don't trust him completely, because as of today, I really do. But things aren't always black and white. Just because I love him and he loves me and we're both attracted to each other and we both want it doesn't mean it should happen. I haven't had sex in a while. The last time I did was probably a couple months ago when Jake stumbled into our bedroom, drunk and I was too sex deprived and thirsty to stop him. Sex with Jake was just that - sex. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't even good. Ever since the beginning, it wasn't good. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good.

That kind of defines our relationship in general. It was very fairytale like in the beginning. He was seemingly the perfect guy. And we could have really had something - we could have been happy. But I don't want that. I was difficult, devastating, life changing love. It just took me a while to realize it fully, although I always knew it in the back of my head.

None of this means that I should have sex right now, Especially when we have two young girls in the house who are still very much confused and adjusting to their new lives.

Fitz cocks his head so he is looking directly at me. As if he read my mind, he whispers, "Is this about Savannah and Karen?"

"I don't know," I admit softly. I look at Fitz, really look at him. It's not that I don't want to - I really want to. It's actually hard to not get on top of him right now and just do it without thinking twice. But being a mother, being in this position, I have to think twice.

"Do you love me?" Fitz asks.

"Of course I love you," I exhale. "Do not play me like this, Fitz. Do not make me feel bad-"

"That's not what I am trying to do." Fitz tells me firmly. "That is a dick move and I would never try to manipulative you or make you feel guilty or ever pressure you. But I think you want this. I think you really want this and even though you trust me, actually having sex with me would be a step you are too afraid to take. It would...just confirm things and that scares the hell out of you. Am I wrong?"

I swallow. "No."

"Okay," Fitz says slowly, moving his arms down to my waist. "Then listen to me, Livvy. If you don't wanna have sex simply because you don't want to or you're not ready, I won't force you too. Of course I won't force you too. I won't even bring it up again. But...if you need some confirmation about...this...about our reality, our relationship, this is it. We're here...together. This is it. This is us. And I am never gonna leave you or hurt you or anything like that. So if you want this, if you want us, right now, I'm here to tell you that that's okay."

I look at him. I don't know how to feel. Like I said, I trust him completely. I trust him not to hurt me or leave me but I must admit it makes me feel better hearing him say it himself. Fitz is not like me - he doesn't lie. He doesn't run. He doesn't hurt people. And he's right. I want this so badly I can barely think straight. And yeah, I was weary to do it just for that reason - I didn't know. I trusted him, but I didn't know, if that makes any sense.

Right now, I feel like I'm rambling and my thoughts don't make any sense. I don't know what to say. So I lean forward, press my lips onto his and don't say anything at all.

X

His arms wrap tightly around my waist and help pulls me over so I am on his lap, straddling him. "Livvy..."

"Sh," I open my eyes and move my face away from his for only a second before he realizes there is nothing to talk about and pulls me in again, kissing me.

My hands are on the back of his neck, then on his hair, then back on his neck, gripping tightly. His hands make their way under my tank top, up my stomach and all the way around my chest before pulling my tank top above my head. He grabs it and throws it somewhere before pulling me closer and putting his mouth on my neck. But I pull away long enough to pull his own shirt off him, which makes him laugh softly. He pulls me back though and proceeds kissing my neck. But again, I push him away and allow myself to just run my hands up his chest and just look at him, even though I can barely see anything. He patiently lets me, resting his hands on my thighs. He's just so perfect. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant is literally a handcrafted Greek god.

Finally, I lean by head back and just let him kiss me, desperately trying not to moan as loud as I want to - because I seriously want to.

His hands make their way to my back and tug on the clasp of my white bra. It snaps open instantly and he gently pulls it down my shoulders, his lips still on my collarbone. He finally pulls away, his eyes fixed on my chest until his hands trail down my stomach and down to the waist of my pajamas. His eyes never leave my body. I don't know how he can see anything in the dark, but he looks anyway. His fingers trail around the back of my waist and grip my ass before latching on the waist of my pajamas again. He pulls the rim down, only to find out that they're too tightly banded. Realizing this, he leans back and begins untying the drawstrings expertly. I hold onto his broad, bare shoulders as he finally manages to get them off and then, without warning, takes my panties off with them, leaning me leaning against him, naked.

He presses his hands against my inner thighs, opening them a little bit.

I bring arms down and loop my fingers through the waist of his pajama shorts. When they're down and I'm actually feeling him against me, I close my eyes and can't help but moan. I press my mouth against his shoulder and try to calm my breathing. His arms push me further up his thighs and i wrap my legs around his torso.

All it takes is him inside me and all of a sudden I am throwing my head back, moaning like that girl in the motel shower five years ago.

"Olivia," Fitz mumbles against my cheek. I look down at him, unsuccessfully catch my breath. I don't think I remember him ever calling me that. It's always 'Liv' or 'Livvy'. "Damn...Liv."

I close my eyes and just lean into him. I can feel his breathing patterns shift against his chest. He brings his hands down from my back, to my hips, gripping tightly. Then his hands are on my upper thighs, holding them even tighter.

"Fuck," I mumble, grabbing his shoulder. Fitz softly smirks against my neck, probably because he virtually never hears me curse. But I can't help it. My fingers dig into his upper back tightly and I hope I don't leave scratches but at this point, I don't care enough to stop.

I press my mouth against his shoulder, my body moving up and down his rhythmically. His hands cup around my ass and just hold it while I ride him.

This is us right now, Fitz and I. My arms are crossed around his, my hands pressing on his back muscles. He moves his arms back up and around my waist and presses his lips to the side of my neck, below my ear. I close my eyes and hold onto him tighter. I slide my hands up just enough to feel the back of his hair on my wrists. He's sweating a little bit.

This is us right now, Fitz and I. So much has changed but we're still the same people. The people who are so flawed but have so much passion and love for each other that they physically cannot control themselves.

"Livvy," Fitz whispers against my neck. "Liv. Liv."

"What..." I mumble, bringing my hands to cup his shoulders.

"Liv," Fitz mutters, his hands trailing my sides gently. "I...I have a leg cramp."

"What?" I giggle against his cheek.

I can feel him grinning on my jaw. "My thigh...shit, I'm sorry."

I'm full out laughing right now, not even mad when I have to move off him since I was done anyway. I collapse next to him, almost crying from laughing so hard. He laughs too, pulling me close to him.

"I-I'm sorry," he repeats through fits of chuckling. He leans in to give my cheek a soft kiss. "I guess i'm out of the practice of having a girl riding me."

I cover my mouth to muffle my laughing because there are literal tears coming from the sides of my eyes and my stomach hurts. "How long has it been?"

Fitz leans down and takes the blanket, kissing the side of my hip before pulling the blanket around us. "A long time."

"Could've fooled me," I lean up and curl my fingers through his wavy, soft hair now slightly damp with sweat.

He laughs softly and leans down to kiss my lips gently. "I love you, you know that?"

He wraps his arms around me and I lean on his bare chest, my head tucked under his jaw. I'm realizing now how tall he actually is. He must be at least 6'1 or 6'2 compared to my 5'4. "I know."

"This is the part where you say you love me too," Fitz whispers against my ear.

I laugh against his chest. "I love you, Fitz."

He holds me tighter and my arms go around his waist. I close my eyes and I just let him hold me. I'm in his arms and he's in mine. This is it. This is how it's supposed to be. I'm pretty exhausted but I don't think that I could sleep right now. It's like I am fifteen, losing my virginity and have butterflies in my stomach. We're laying in complete silence with only the sounds of our breathing until he whispers, "I'm gonna get some water."

I kiss his collarbone. "I'll come with you."

"I'll get you some water," Fitz mumbles, bending down and speaking softly into my temple before pressing a kiss against it. "You can stay here."

I raise my eyebrows and he laughs. "I know. I'm such a gentleman."

I laugh too and squeeze his arm before he unfolds the blanket around his body and and rolls out of the mattress. I watch him as he slips on his boxers then throws on his Henley. He turns on the light and smiles gently at me before leaving out the door. I watch him go and roll to his warm side of the bed and unlock his phone to check the time. It's almost one in the morning but that's not what catches my eye.

His screensaver is no longer the picture of Gerry and Karen. It's a shot he took of the flowers me and the girls sent him this morning. I swallow, smiling. I know that Fitz will always remember and love Gerry but it makes me happy seeing him take a step forward.

I lean back in bed, not wanting to think about Gerry or Savannah or Karen. After what we just did, it's kind of really hard to think about the kids, but not in a bad way. In a funny, 'I cannot believe we just did that' way. I don't feel guilty about it At all. I don't feel guilty about feeling good anymore.

Even Fitz and I just really passionately, really romantically made love, I can't help but feel like he's one of those guys you can fuck in a quickie in the laundry room ten years down the line, you know? Like, I don't think I could get tired of having sex with Fitz, because even though we've only done it twice, it was mind blowingly good both times.

I can't remember being as happy as I am right now. And it's not just because I had the best sex I have ever had in my life. It's because I know Fitz and I are in this together. And I know it's gonna be okay.

I love him. I know I say that a lot but it's because I mean it so fucking much. I love us, together. I love how we are always gonna be there for each other. I love how we always know how the other one is feeling. I love how we can laugh and giggle during sex. I just love everything about us.

Everything is alright, everything is perfect until I remember something that makes my heart skip a beat. Before I can run to the kitchen downstairs and shove the papers back into the bottom of the box, or better yet, sign them, I hear him coming up the stairs and I know it's too late. Why the hell did I leave the leave them right there, next to the fridge where the water comes out of? How could I be that reckless? Maybe...maybe nothing happened.

But when Fitz appears in the doorway, he's not carrying any glasses of water. Instead, he has a thin packet titled, 'Dissolution of Marriage'.

Instead, he has my unsigned divorce papers.

"Liv," he holds them up, his voice dangerously uneven. "What is this? And why isn't it signed?"