Halo

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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.

Chapter Twenty-One-Disappointment

Rey was lamenting the loss of her clothes. The medical droids had seen fit to dispose of them completely, deeming them not fit for purpose. Instead some others had been found for her-an eclectic mix of garments that they had tried to match as closely as possible to her old outfit. Reluctantly she pulled the dark grey capri length pants over her legs. They were much more close fitting than her old ones, and clung snugly to every curve. The tunic was of a similar colour and as form fitting as the pants. She sighed irritably as she hunted around for her arm wraps. She felt naked and exposed without them. But it seemed the blasted droids had disposed of them, too. Muttering an oath under her breath, she tried to fashion similar wraps by tearing up strips from the pristine white sheet that covered the cot she had been lying in.

Thankfully her boots and leather belt had survived the purge. Rey slipped her feet gratefully into the calf length boots, pleased with their comforting familiarity. The belt was a problem all on its own. She had lost weight again. She was forced to pierce another hole so she could do up the clasp. Rey couldn't remember the last time she had eaten something. Now she was aware of it, she felt the familiar gnawing hunger pains stabbing in her stomach. Like she had trained herself to do, she stoically ignored them. Reaching for the saber Ben had given her, she quickly clipped it onto her belt, unconsciously caressing the hilt with her fingers before letting go.

Now she was decent.

Rey looked around the small cubicle one last time, checking she hadn't forgotten anything. She wished she knew what had happened to her quarterstaff. She wondered if it was still on the Falcon. With everything that had been going on, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen it. Letting out another weary sigh, she finally left the cubicle and went to see how Rose was faring.

It didn't take long for Rey to track down Rose. All she had to do was follow the sound of her new friend's animated chatter. Rey was envious of Rose's ability to engage so easily with complete strangers. Having led such an isolated existence, she struggled to form friendships. On Jakku it was every one for themselves as they fought a daily battle for survival. Ben had been the first friend she had made-

Ben!

Melancholy settled on her shoulders like a heavy cloak as she thought about their last conversation. She couldn't imagine what it had cost him to be so brutally honest with her. He didn't owe her an explanation. He hadn't exactly lied to her-she had made a lot of assumptions and he hadn't corrected her. He had told her his name was Ben Solo-that wasn't technically a lie, either-it was his birth name. But he also went by another, much more terrifying moniker-Kylo Ren.

Was that a lie by omission?

Rey wasn't sure about anything anymore. Maybe they were the worst type of lies-the ones close enough to the truth to pass under the radar, crueller than the ones that are so big you'd never dream a person could make something like that up. She didn't know what to think or feel. It was all just so messed up. She knew him as Ben Solo, and had only gotten a brief glimpse of his other persona, Kylo Ren, on Starkiller base when he had come to her rescue. They were one and the same person, but such separate personalities. How could that be possible?

Ben.

Kylo.

Which part was more dominant? It was so puzzling, but also deeply intriguing. Rey could feel herself already drawn to go back to him. It was like an invisible string was tying them together. She could feel him there, hovering on the edge of her consciousness, even though he was nowhere in sight. This odd bond that had developed between them was as arousing and complex as Ben himself. It was such a strange phenomenon, but Rey found herself intrigued to explore it further.

The sound of Rose giggling shook Rey out of her brooding thoughts. Who was she talking to? Rey quickened her pace as she followed the sound of Rose's tinkling laughter. She soon reached the door of her friend's cubicle and peered inside curiously. Her eyebrows shot up when she saw it was Finn that had her friend in raptures. The former stormtrooper was sitting in a relaxed pose next to Rose's cot, his dark eyes were filled with amusement as he listened to Rose talk, her hands forming animated gestures as she spoke.

"Hey." Rey felt guilty at interrupting such a cosy scene.

"Hi, Rey." Rose's eyes shone with mirth as she gestured for Rey to come inside. "I wondered where you were. This is Finn by the way. He was part of the rescue party."

"Oh, we've met before." Rey's cheeks grew warm with embarrassment as she recognised Finn as the 'thief' she had tackled on Jakku when BB-8 informed her that the guy had stolen his master's jacket. "I'm sorry about knocking you out. I didn't realise who you were. BB-8…." She ran out of words as she gave him an apologetic smile.

"No worries." Finn laughed, quickly putting her at ease. "It was just a misunderstanding."

Rey smiled back at him, relieved that there were no hard feelings. "I'm sure the jacket is lying around somewhere." She paused, worried that the medical droids might have shredded that too.

"It wasn't even mine. It was Poe's." Finn shrugged like it was no big deal as he stood up and offered Rey his seat. She declined, but he insisted, citing that he really needed to go and find his friend. "I better go and let you two to catch up. Nice to meet you, Rey." He said politely before taking his leave.

"He's nice." Rey said to Rose as she sat down in the newly vacated chair.

Rose flushed slightly. "He is." She let out a dreamy sigh. "He stayed with me while I was unconscious. When I asked him why, he said he knew how scary it can be waking up alone in a place you don't know. Wasn't that so sweet of him?" She didn't seem to expect a verbal response, so Rey settled back in her seat and relaxed as Rose continued to gush about Finn.

Kylo's black hair had become one with his face as he stepped back into the shelter of the base. It draped wetly over his handsome features. His expression was serious, his mood contemplative. BB-8 rolled in after him, his dome head covered in sparkling water droplets. Suddenly the little droid let out a pitiful whine as a puff of steam hissed out of one the panels on his round body. Kylo halted, staring down at BB-8 in surprise. BB-8 tried to roll forward, but more steam escaped, followed by a shower of sparks. He stopped abruptly, his dome head drooping miserably.

"What have you done to yourself?" Kylo asked as he hunkered down and carefully jimmied open the offending panel with his long fingers. A heap of blackened wiring fell out. "How long have you been like this?"

BB-8 whistled and beeped in his binary language, finally admitting he had been damaged after the attack on the First order ship. "I didn't want to make a fuss." He said.

Kylo shook his head in disbelief. He had never known a droid like it. Well that wasn't quite true-Skywalker's astromech-R2 had similar traits. "Let's see if we can sort out this mess and make you feel better, shall we." He murmured as he began to tinker with the wiring, pulling it apart so he could reach the circuity underneath. Soon, he was completely absorbed in his task, having sourced a tool kit from the closest X-wing. BB-8 trustingly waited for him to fix the problem, having complete faith that he could.

Kylo was happily tinkering away when a shadow fell across him. He raised his head to find Poe Dameron glaring down at him. "What the hell are you doing with my droid?" He demanded.

Kylo showed no emotion as he shoved the new wiring back into place and closed the panel. He slowly rose to his feet, feeling pleased when Dameron was forced to crane his neck to look up at him when he reached his full height. "I'm fixing him." He explained coldly.

"Reprogramming him more like, so you can steal him from me. Just like you stole my ship." Poe accused.

"I didn't steal it. I borrowed it." Kylo continued to keep his cool, which seemed to infuriate Dameron.

"You may think you have everyone fooled. But you don't fool me." Poe continued derisively as he jabbed his finger at Kylo.

"Your opinion means less than nothing to me." Kylo countered irritably.

Poe opened his mouth to issue a retort when they were interrupted by Leia's arrival. She looked at the two men speculatively for a moment before deciding to intervene. "Stand down, Dameron." She ordered Poe.

"General?" Poe questioned. He still hadn't recovered from the embarrassment of his previous public dressing down by his beloved leader. "Surely you don't condone- "

"Poe." Leia cut in wearily, her tone softening slightly when her gaze landed on him. "Please leave us."

Dameron was mollified by the change in tone. He nodded curtly, shooting Kylo one last death glare before calling to BB-8 to follow him. The little astromech was torn, he hesitated, his dome head swivelling back and forth as he struggled with his decision to obediently follow Poe's command.

Kylo hated to see the faithful little droid suffering with his conflicted loyalty. He could sympathise with that feeling. "You go." He said quietly. "I'll be fine."

BB-8 emitted a melancholic whine in response as his head drooped in defeat and he followed reluctantly after Poe. Kylo tensed now that he was finally left alone with Leia. He managed to keep his expression neutral as he regarded her impassively. "Mother." He greeted her formally.

Leia sighed heavily as she took a few steps closer to him. Like Poe, she had to crane her neck to look up at him. A smile flashed across her face from beneath reems of hair, which were wound in neat braids around the back of her head. Even though it was gone quickly, it was still there. She dipped her head down and casting her eyes to the side, Kylo could see the shape of her face like a silhouette. It gracefully moved up and over her cheek bones then slanted sharply at her mouth. Even after all this time she couldn't look him in the eyes. Bitter disappointment flooded through him, but he contained it behind a stoic exterior.

"I've been meaning to come and talk to you…" Leia began, before pausing.

"About?" Kylo prompted her.

"Don't be difficult, Ben."

Kylo fixed his gaze at a point above her head. "How am I being difficult?" He said tonelessly. "Just say what you need to say."

Each of Leia's shoulders curled in, towards her chest. She was like a statue at this time, drilled down with a sense of being completely exposed, on display. Each of her fingers were laced together with one another, holding herself together against the heavy burdens that weighed her down. She took a deep breath and finally looked at him. Her sorrowful eyes collected and bore tragically every wrongdoing that had passed between them. "Why did you do it?"

Kylo's dark eyes flashed to hers. "Do what?"

"How could you betray Luke like that! How could you betray your family!" Leia cried passionately, the dam on her emotions finally breaking. "Why?"

Her accusation stabbed Kylo right in the heart. He concealed his pain behind a bitter smile. "You never fail to disappoint, mother." He stated coldly. "Of course, your precious Skywalker is all you're concerned about. He can do no wrong. He's a Jedi."

"Ben!"

"I don't think we have anything left to say to each other, mother." Kylo continued in the same cool tone. He wasn't going to show any emotion in front of her, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction. His dignity was all he had left. With a curt nod in her direction, he turned his back on her and walked away.

A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.